exurb1r

Oh God, Finally - The New Book As Promised

Hello impalas,

How’s everything?

The new book is finally finished, and it is with medium pleasure that I’ll be sending out the pdf and ereader version with this post. A new video should be up very shortly too.

I’m going to rant for a bit about relief and writing and whatnot, so if listening to that nonsense is understandably not what you’re here for, let me just say: thank you so, so much for sticking around while I went radio silent. More than anything, I hope it wa...

A Series of Small Audio Insults

Hello terrapins,

Just to say I'm still alive and new nonsense is coming shortly, didn't want you to think I'd gone into crypto scams or something. I've attached an audio note to this post as an explanation for why stuff is taking an age. It's really one of those messages that goes on for a while and explains nothing, so I hope you like those.

Let me attach some cat pictures too just because. And I'd very, very much recommend Split Fiction if you haven't already bumped into it - ...

The apocalyptic charging post I tried to warn you about

Hello corvids.

Well, as mentioned and threatened a week or so back, I hope it's quite all right to charge you with this one. New stuff is most certainly in the works – rather excited to share it with you as always. There are also a few silly video essays (or rants...I guess...?) I'll be putting out on the second channel (exurb2a) over the next week – I do hope you hate them.

Is cat news becoming a regular segment in these posts? Looks like it. If you're curious, the feline is ...

About Charging and Bandaged Cats

Hello octopods,

(Octopod is the Bulgarian for octopus if you're curious. Not sure if I've used this one before but I've always liked it, sounds quite sci-fi.)

The admin-y bit first then. I'm sat on a few ideas I'd very much like to make real, and the plan is to work with Valeia, my brilliant artist again. I've had a script floating around for several years now about some animals who are lifted up to human levels of intelligence and go exploring a post-apocalyptic Earth – all in ...

Stuckology

Hello buzzards,

How are you? Is that cough better? Have you arrived at Ultimate Truth yet?

Me neither. Well, I hope you liked the last video. I think that finally put me off making long-form stuff for a while. Perhaps you already know how these things go. You have a silly idea you're sure will take a week to make at most, and before you know it the thing sprouts tentacles and dominates your life for months. There's a point you can get to with anything that runs on longer than it s...

You Can Build Pillow Forts in Your Thirties. Really, No One Stops You

Hello zebus (or camel cows if you prefer),

This isn't a notification you're being charged or anything like that, just thought I'd check in and let you know what nonsense is coming next.

A few months ago I was watching a documentary about two probes on Mars. It was all neutral and sciencey, up until it got to the point the probes started running out of power and were clearly about to die. They were so humanised by that time - they had names and even personalities by then, sort of ...

Festive wishes (and insults for the new year)

Hello house mice,

I thought I'd throw an audio message your way this time around for the sake of variety. If you understandably can't be bothered to give it a listen, it's just me wishing you a very merry Christmas, talking about myself to an indulgent extreme, and making some recommendations.

Recommendations mentioned in the message:

Wet Leg (and 2024-12-19 15:51:34 +0000 UTC View Post

Imma Charge You Like the Light Brigade

Hello giant clams,

As threatened a little bit back now, I'll be charging you with this post if that's quite all right. The title is a silly reference to a poem you might know – we were forced to read it in school in England repeatedly until we all started screaming. And the poem is in turn a reference to when the British launched an assault against the Rus...

Itsy-Bitsy Art Stuff

Hello bedlington terriers,

How are you? I see you've redecorated - I love the new art deco aesthetic. Brave choice.

Did you spot Tsuchinshan–ATLAS, the comet? I sure didn't. I'm rocking a 10” GSO reflector telescope these days, and somehow still missed all the announcements of the thing, making my amateur astronomy career pointless.

Housekeeping first of course: if it's all the same, I hope it's all right if I charge you for art bills. My brilliant illustrator Valeia and...

Updates and Insults

Hello seabreams,

I actually wanted to greet you as Boops Boops, which is in fact a totally real species of fish, but it felt weird. I imagine being a Boops Boops feels pretty weird too. Well, they probably think being a human is rather strange, walking around on the land, eating fast food, getting a bit depressed and so on? Maybe you know 2024-08-19 14:15:59 +0000 UTC View Post

A Preview of Silliness Ahead

Hello astrolabes,

I appreciate that an astrolabe isn't an animal, and I hope you can forgive the departure from the usual greeting tradition, but astrolabes are pretty cool actually (a bit like an ancient mechanical star chart if you didn't know) and if someone called me an astrolabe, I think I'd be really stoked and feel suddenly capable of achieving my dreams and finally ready to let all that deep-seated resentment towards my dad go, so yeah, I guess you're welcome?<...

Happy new year, hope you're doing awfully etc.

Hello sparrows,

How are you? As is tradition, I thought I might drop in to ruin your day with a few recommendations and a spot of news about projects in progress... unless you're busy with something else in which case I'll wait, no it's fine, I'll wait, I'm sure you have far more important things to be doing. No no, I wasn't muttering anything under my breath, you just take your sweet time, I'll sit here waiting and doing nothing you ungrateful sack of

I mentioned the new book is ...

Just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in

Hello chupacabras,

(If you don't know what a chupacabra is, I'd recommend not looking it up. I mean it as a term of endearment but the reality is quite awful.)

I noticed several emails recently asking if I was dead so thought I'd drop in to say not yet, apologise for still breathing, thank some new supporters in the most offensive way I can, make some recommendations, then fuck off for a few more months without explanation. I'm joking about that last bit. The rest are genuine inte...

Charge-a-geddon Part Deux

Hello again Patreon friends,

As threatened in the last update, I'll be charging this post and converting your kind support into pointless internet rambles. Everything seems to be on course for the new AI video - I hope to get it out in ten days or so. I can confirm it involves Slavoj Žižek, a Nordic death metal band singing about upset stomachs, and CatGPT - frame attached. Thank you ever, ever so much as always, just bear with me a little to tidy the thing up and a new slice of medio...

Dropping in to confirm I am unfortunately still alive

Hello there cephalopods—what's new with you?

As you may've heard, Europe is enjoying seventh-circle-of-hell levels of heat at the moment, so I thought I'd write to you one last time before we're all turned into barbecued brisket. (I assume Mark Zuckerberg would approve of this happening.)

To get the boring part out of the way first then:

So, I have a few ideas for future projects with my fantastic illustr...

Black boxes and such

Hello Yorkshire Terriers,

How are you? Full disclaimer, not notifying you you're being charged this month or anything of the sort, just thought I'd check in.

It's currently spring-winter here in Bulgaria. We've all been waiting to emerge from December, and December never quite got the message to remember to fuck off. I'm currently staying at a friend's place looking after her dog, and frankly the joke is on her because she left her alcohol cabinet open and with a number of nice th...

Rejected Stuff and Hi

Hello flamingos, 

How are you? This won't be Patreon related, I'm just here to waste your precious time for a few minutes.

So, I've collected up the best (relatively speaking...) of the worst stuff that didn't make it into the new book and attached it below if you're curious. Apologies for typos or poems that just trail off into nothing. They all felt like fun ideas at the time, but turned out to be, in fact, crap. It'd be way easier if a little demon or sprite popped out of ...

A New Book to Ruin Your Sunday

Hello spaniels,

I hope you enjoyed the new video, or didn't hate it anyway. As promised to Patreon folks months ago, you'll find the new book of poems attached to this message – please don't even think about buying it. It's a bit counter-intuitive, but editing seems to get harder the smaller the book is...? The last few weeks have just been me sitting on the sofa in a bathrobe screaming at typos and poor phrasing. Well, here it is in any case. (Alongside the print version, you should ...

Charge-ageddon

Hello again goldfinches, 

As threatened and mentioned and promised, I'll be charging you today with this post if that's quite all right.  I don't have too much to add since the last post. My elbow hurts a bit but I'm told it's not fatal. I think I'll attach my favourite memes of late and go from there. 

(A huge thank you again for the support, new stuff coming shortly, promise.)

Ex

Recommendations, an Update, and Smol Cat News

Hello marmosets,

It's been quite some time, how's everything? I'll just straight up apologise without reservation for going quiet, that was quite rude and, well, quite rude really. If I'm honest, there wasn't a huge amount to tell you about besides yelling at Word documents and deleting Word documents and throwing laptops out the window. I hope I've done my bestest with replying to messages on here – if I'm still leaving you hanging, I'll be getting on that shortly and massive sorries...

Taking Yo Coin

Oh hai again.

As threatened several days ago, I will now be charging you with this post if that's quite all right. I would like to caveat it with my sincerest promise that I will try my best to make it lead to some art. Or at the very least some yelling and classical music. 

Once again, a massive thank you for the support, and if that doesn't cut it I hope this zoom composite of the centre of the Milky Way d...

A Note on New Stuff Coming

Hello isopods,

(If you haven't seen an isopod before I would recommend not looking them up if you're currently eating lunch.)

How's everything? I'll do a spot of housekeeping first, insult you a bit, then make some recommendations if that's alright.

Right, apologies for going quiet for a few months. The short version is: a mini burnout occurred. The long version is: aaaa miiinnniii buuurrrnnnooouuuttt ooooccuuurrrreeedd. After having tried to lecture the internet on how not ...

Hai

Well hello. It’s been a little while.

The exciting bit first then, and really what I’ve been waiting to write for ages: the new book is out and finished – or, as much as it can be without me committing ritual seppuku. I won’t spoil the surprise, but hopefully it’s enough to say it’s a sort of mythological sci-fi, and there’s talking bears. It should be attached to this message in pdf, mobi, and epub form below as promised. I really hope you enjoy it, and as always, feel fr...

I am once again assuring you I'm alive

Heyo puffins,

This isn’t a preemptive request to charge you or anything like that, just thought I’d check in.

So. Firstly, sorry I haven’t posted on here a while. I don’t have much of an excuse beyond going into a bit of a hole really. I’ll just get the depressing shit out of the way first.

The blues got me fairly good for a time, that’s the bones of it. (Hardly a unique experience in 2020, I won’t labour the point.) I’m fine, just somewhat fell into writ...