Whattup Antelopes (an update)

Hello antelopes, how are you doing? 

Firstly, I hope you liked the new video. I’ve seen a fair few comments pointing out that just because stuff is automatic in the brain doesn’t mean the whole thing is. I have to concede they’re right. I don’t want to get into a big old metaphysical argument here, but god damn it’s tricky to talk about consciousness without knowing what the hell it is. Apologies if I missed the mark. There’s always a very special feeling when you’re watching a video for the final time before it’s uploaded, when you realise exactly what you should have said – or why your points are wrong. And by then it’s generally too late. STILL. I do stand by the general claim. I hope that’s all right with you.

And on top of that, I hope you’re doing well. 

So, I’m going to go video-silent for a month. And as usual with this little dance, there’s no way I’m going to accept your patronage for July because of that. 

I’m one of those people who is incapable of multitasking. I’d prefer to sink full days into a single thing, rather than spread it out over weeks. For that reason the new book still isn’t proofread. It’s sitting right there on my desktop, all the writing done, the cover done, the blurb done, and it still isn’t real. So I’m just going to throw myself at it for July.  This thing has been sitting in my head for quite some time now and I’d like it out in the world. (The cover should be attached below by the way, designed by a graphic artist I really dig. I hope you like it.) I forget if I’ve mentioned the concept before, but it’s a book of short stories going chronologically from the beginning of the human galactic empire to the end. And a bit beyond. 

I took a weekend to visit a small village recently called Melnik, in Bulgaria. I’m not sure if you’ve tried travelling alone, but if you can bear it, it’s wonderful. Every day I’d chug several pots of coffee, then climb (that’s a strong word for ‘walk briskly’, I guess) one of the nearby mountains and just look out over the village. It gave me a shit load of time to think. What kept coming up again and again is the almost-hitting-30 feeling. Which I am. I’m not sure if you’re grappling with your age yet, or if you’ve done it already, but Jesus it springs up on you. I’m still healthy, and most of my faculties are intact I suppose, but one can already feel things beginning to slow down – my brain in particular. It’s obvious to say I guess, but it hit me that this feeling of degradation is going to get stronger and stronger as the years go by now. At the same time though, you’re accruing life experience and hopefully getting a bit wiser about the world. That’s a strange dance: biology on the decline, and world-experience on the up. Well. Anyway.

I’d also like to say a massive sorry. I apologised last month for not responding yet to some of your emails. I spend about 2 hours a day going through my inbox recently and it still isn’t cutting it. I have no intention of hiring someone to help because I think that rather defeats the point of people writing to you personally in the first place. If I haven’t responded, please know that I will – I do to every message. I have no delusions of grandeur about being a ‘someone’, but for whatever reason I do get messages – most of them hilarious – and I think you should bloody well make the effort to respond properly. Bear with me, I’ll get back to you, promise. 

In other news, I spend most of my free time learning Bulgarian these days. The language is, in my humble opinion, one of the most beautiful in the world. Unfortunately the grammar also happens to be fucking insane for an English native speaker. Are you learning a language, or do you speak several already? How the hell are you doing it/how did you do it? I am surrounded by people who’ve picked up German and English and Latin and all sorts effortlessly and it’s humiliating in a quiet way I cannot even begin to describe. 

That’s the happy haps, anyway. I’ve also attached a recent picture of Freya/The Destroyer of Worlds for your enjoyment. She is getting larger and meowier as the days go by. Her recent trick is to wake me up at obscene hours in the morning by purring straight into my ear. This is pleasant and horrific at the same time. 

Again, I’m not going to accept anything from you kind folk this month, but nonetheless your support still means the absolute world. It allows a technophobe with no visual taste to actually get hold of half-decent stock video and go off and make stuff. A friend of mine recently was talking about about how humans are primarily motivated by capital and self-interest. To a degree no doubt we are, but I think it’s a bit more complicated than that. I used the fact that folks like you are supporting my excuse for content as a clear example of the unexpected kindness of strangers. And it is a good example really. I wouldn’t be making stuff without you. I simply couldn’t. So as always, thank you. 

All the very best, and hopefully next time we chat I’ll be sending you the new book.

Best of luck with your projects, carbon units,

Ex.  

P.S – This is fantastic: 

https://youtu.be/0N_RO-jL-90