KYDE

[STATIC] KYM_04 (I think it's the 4th of her?)

Added 2024-01-06 03:26:09 +0000 UTC

Here's a freebie for you lot. And here's the link to the Drive.

I have named this OC. Her name is Kym. Because "Kim" sounds like a woman who abuses retail workers, and it's thematically similar to Kyde. Y'all asked for her back in October, so I now very belatedly oblige. Not an animation unfortunately, I'll animate her at some point. I feel so nervous and shy making and naming OCs, even though I know most artists do it. And like, I don't feel weird about other artists making and naming their OCs, just what I make. I was thinking about why this is, and I finally figured it out! I unearthed some deep trauma for this revelation. There's this dogshit movie called Cool World. I mean, it's bad. Real bad. Basically, Ralph Bakshi saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit and wanted to do his own take on the concept of "Live action fella meets cartoons." So he got pre-famous Brad Pitt to run around his fucking nightmare world. Oh god, and it's just so bad. I wish I liked it, I really do. I watched it a few times, trying to like it. I do like the aesthetic and the music, but it's just trash. I'm sorry. I've always hated Ralph Bakshi. I know he's very influential, but I think he's influential because he was the only guy doing what he did at the time. He can't write for shit. He just can't. I really wanted to like Wizards, too.

Uh, sorry. Anyways, this is the scene that made me uncomfortable making and naming OCs:

Cool World - Jack Meets Holli

As a quick synopsis, artist Jack, who is in prison, is drawing his OC waifu Holli. And uh, talking to her. He says, "Oh, you look good tonight, babe." Oh, and there's like, creepy ambience while this is happening. Then Holli magically says, "It's time you came to me, Jack." (Which has a good double-meaning, I'll give you that, Ralph) and then reaches her hands out of the page like Pennywise or something. Then he gets transported into the "Cool World," which does have a cool aesthetic as I previously confessed to liking. The cityscape looks cool, at least. And then there are cartoons everywhere, and Holli is like dancing and stuff. I dunno, I watched that scene as a young lad and just felt uncomfortable. And like, that's all I need, you know? If I start talking to the shit I draw, sooner or later she'll say "Come on in, Kyde. The water's fine." and drag me through my tablet. I just couldn't mentally handle something like that, my mind is so fragile as is. To be teleported into Ralph Bakshi's brain and see one of my OCs moving around? No sir.

So uh, that's why I don't like naming OCs. Don't watch Cool World, watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit instead.

With this one, I really wanted to learn a lot of shit that was bothering me. I think it was a great learning experience. Like, I kinda touched on how I tried learning shading with that last one, Demi or whatever her name is. Same deal here. I kind of took it a bit further, where just... everything that bothered me, I went over again and again until I got it right. I messed with the shadows, doing one main shadow layer and a second inner shadow layer, to give more depth. I fucked around with her face for so long, rotating the canvas around and cocking my head back and forth like some bird, trying to see it and get it just right. And yeah, I'm very happy with it! I think her face just clicks for me. It was like she was actually watching me draw her. Thus prompting me to tense up and prepare for a potential Cool World Scenario. I tried some highlighting, and actually trying to render shiny metal and have it look like shiny metal. I did an alternative outfit, I've been asked to do that by a few people. And that can actually help spot proportion errors. I was switching back and forth between the outfits pretty much the whole time I was working on this. Another thing that has bothered me is my inability to draw stomachs and waists. So by golly did I try here. Especially with the shading, I spent way too much time just screwing with the shadows on her stomach. Like Napoleon Dynamite. Okay, no more movie references. What is this, Family Guy?

Anywho, my mindset here was... If I keep saying "Good enough" to everything I draw and gloss over mistakes, then that's all I'll ever be. I'll never learn how to do the stuff I want to be able to do. I want to draw nice faces. I want them to feel like they have good proportions. I want to be able to draw good anatomy, like the waists. One day, I want to be better than Ralph Bakshi. And like, if I never struggle hard for that, and actually figure it out, I'll never get it, you know? It won't just come magically, as much as I wish it sometimes would. I dunno, I feel like, with art you have to get it right at least once for it to finally click in your brain, and you have to invest the time sometimes to get it right that first time. Then keep doing it over and over, of course.

Not to say that this is amazing or anything, because I still don't think it is. But I DO think that this is to the best of my abilities. I'm satisfied that I pushed myself as far as I could go, and figured out shit like shading, and highlighting, and drawing a stomach that looks kinda like a stomach, and drawing skeet that looks kinda like skeet. I had been drawing it yellowish brown, because I was basing it off of my own. Turns out, it's not supposed to look like that. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago, and he says my testicles are gangrenous and need to be amputated. Nah, I'm just kidding. I never went to the doctor, I don't have insurance.

I still think there's a lot missing, here. To me, it feels incomplete, still. That's something you hear from artists, "How do I make my piece look finished?" I can't tell you. But! I think I set a bar for myself. I still don't think it's great, but I think it's the best I could do, and now I know what I need to learn and what I need to try to improve on the next thing. I hate saying "Good enough." I don't want to be good enough. I want to one day be truly great, and for me myself to believe that I am great.

That's enough outta me. Nice fucking novel there, Charles Dickens. I hope y'all like this one. Enjoy sifting through all the variants. Back to our regularly scheduled programming. I feel like this learning experience really helped me get over some hangups. I think I can now do shadows! Congratulations, Kyde! You can now do something most artists can do. Now to just, like, do good shadows. Back to the Frankie animation. Expect some fucking hella litty shadows on that one.

- KYDE