Universal Remote - Full version

Thanks to the patrons who decided where the story would go from here! Definitely a weird idea for a story but it had me inspired!

Josiah opened the door to an unfortunately predictable sight. After an absolutely exhausting eight hour shift at the local steel factory, the last thing he wanted to come home to was his girlfriend sitting in the exact same spot as she had been when he left, remote in her hand, aimlessly flipping through channels on the TV without a care in the world. She attempted to hide her dead expression behind a lock of raven tresses, but Josiah could already infer what it was based on the surrounding context clues.

He removed his jacket and kicked off his shoes, walking over to the living room where he stopped in between the TV and his girlfriend’s sight line. “Stell, you didn’t look for jobs today, did you?” He asked with growing resentment in his voice, already suspecting what her answer was.

Stella sighed groggily, she almost sounded half asleep. “I’ll do it tomorrow. I got… distracted.”

Josiah’s eyes narrowed until his piercing green pupils could barely be seen. “You gave me that exact excuse yesterday, and the day before that! Did you even get up from that couch at all?”

“Uh, yeah…” Stella replied, pausing to yawn and scratch her chubby yet cute cheek. “When the doordash guy arrived at the door I walked over to pick it up.”

Now it was Josiah’s turn to sigh. “Stell, please tell me you’re joking with that Garfield-ass answer.” When she said nothing, he took a turn sighing for both of them. “Jesus Christ. Look, I understand that losing your last job made you really depressed, but I can’t afford this house without at least a double income flowing in. You’re not pulling your weight here!”

“Just leave me alone, Josiah,” she shot back, still replying from a tired stupor as her head bobbed back and forth, eyes unable to stay open. “I’ll be back on my feet eventually. I just need some more time.”

At that, Josiah felt his sympathy return for his girlfriend, deciding to let bygones be bygones for now as he walked toward the kitchen. “Okay fine. I’m sorry I got so uppity there. I just had a rough day at work and I was hoping you— oh what the fuck!?”

He came barreling back into the living room, anger reinvigorated on his face. “The kitchen is an absolute mess! You didn’t even clean it like I had asked! Fuck, are you even depressed or are you just lazy?”

That shot Stella fully awake and alert, actually sitting up on the couch. She could handle people rightfully criticizing her life choices, but the word lazy… that had always stricken a chord with her. “I am not fucking lazy, Josiah!” She shouted back, gripping the remote tightly in her hand as she used it to mute the TV. The silence of the living room had become tense without the ambiance of commercials and trashy reality television to normally drown it out.

“Ohohoho, you’re not lazy? Then tell me why there are fucking empty pizza boxes lying everywhere on the dirty kitchen counter and stacks of plates with rotting food on them in the sink?” Josiah wasn’t letting sympathy cloud his judgment anymore. “Tell me, how long would it have taken for you to just throw all that into the trash can and wash the dishes?”

Stella didn’t respond. She just crossed her arms under her diminutive breasts and pouted, darting her eyes away from contact with Josiah.

“C’mon, Stell, answer me,” he insisted, knowing he could prod his girlfriend into admitting it would take no time at all.

Once more, no response.

“Answer. Me.” He asked again, though this time it was more of a demand.

“The TV doesn’t bully me like this,” she spoke in a soft voice, still hiding her face from him.

“Nng, forget about the stupid TV!” Josiah shouted. “You literally aren’t doing anything all day, the least you could accomplish is throwing some goddamned cardboard in the garbage!”

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” Stella shouted herself, matching Josiah’s volume in desperate intensity. “I wish I could just mute you like the TV!” She then gestured at her boyfriend with the remote, hitting the mute button performatively.

She looked away again, awaiting his biting retort. Perhaps he’d call her out for neglecting her gym membership, leaving her a chubby, unflattering mess. Maybe he’d scold her for never finishing college all those years ago. Or he could go for the deepest cut—her lack of motivation to make love to him.

But then he didn’t say anything.

Stella’s nervous eyes reunited with her boyfriend’s—ones equally as terrified. He was panicking, yet no words seemed to exit his gaping mouth as he squirmed and frothed. His feet stomped on the floor, yet they generated no resulting noise in the slightest.

Was this… some sort of joke? Was he actually obeying her desire to be muted? If so, Josiah might as well’ve graduated from the most prestigious Mime college in the world with how expertly he was able to stay silent. It was surreal, almost creepy.

Something else caught Stella’s eye—a floating piece of neon green text beside Josiah that simply read “muted,” complete with a little drawing of a loudspeaker crossed out beside it. She probably stared at it for a lot longer than normal, her mind unable to immediately comprehend the supernatural reality of her situation.

Moreso out of curiosity than legitimate concern, Stella aimed the remote at her boyfriend and hit the mute button again. Instantly, he found his voice returning to him, the once-eerie silence replaced with screams of abject terror.

“Oh my god, ohhh my god! Stella, what did you just do? What happened to me!? I couldn’t talk, I-I couldn’t hear myself think! My internal voice was completely silent! My thoughts were only visual! God I-I never thought I would ever hear anything ever agai—“

Stella muted Josiah again. She could barely hear herself think! Obviously, he began to freak out once more. This time, however, he attempted to physically undo his fate, lunging for the remote. Terrified, Stella instinctively hit the pause button, freezing Josiah in midair as she did so. His face, stalled with rage, looked beyond Stella as she waltzed around him in a half circle. There were no tricks of the light, no cables holding him up, gravity just refused to intervene.

She looked down at the remote in her hand, checking to see if it had suddenly become futuristic or something. It looked no different than any other universal remote. Then it clicked with her.

“Ooooohhhhhh! That’s why they call it a universal remote! Duh!”

Having rationalized it in her head, Stella then hit the rewind button, resetting Josiah back to before he had been muted the second time. Then she unpaused and unmuted him, ready to put her new bargaining chip to action. He had been unpaused mid-ramble, but that didn’t stop her from shutting him up with a shout.

“Alright, listen up, Josie!” She exclaimed, knowing he hated it when she called him that. “Here’s the deal, you clean up the kitchen and I won’t use the mute feature on you anymore. Sound fair?”

Josiah was less than receptive to these new terms.

“What!? Stell, have you fucking lost your mind? You’d rather threaten me with that magic remote than do something that will take fifteen minutes?”

“Well, if it’s so easy, then why don’t you do it?”

Josiah was so baffled he paused in place without the assistance of the remote. “Stella, please don’t tell me I need to explain the idea that partners should do things for each other to make their respective lives easier. I go to work so we can afford this house we both like, the least you can do is help maintain it!”

But Stella had already found her waning interest drifting back to the television. Even in the age of streaming, she had memorized all 500 available channels out of sheer boredom during a particularly depressive state. The one right above the current channel was one that mostly aired reruns of old black and white sitcoms… shows where especially docile women were taught to obey their partner’s every desire, as that was their job.

A devious smile grew upon Stella’s face as a plan formed within her head. While Josiah was still mid-sentence, she aimed the remote at him and hit the channel up button. Her boyfriend suddenly shriveled up in agony as he exhaled sharply, as if all the air had been drained from his lungs. A brief flash of light engulfed Josiah, the entirety of his body becoming engulfed in TV static as reality itself changed the channel on his attitude.

When the black and white static subsided, Josiah was no more. In his place was a confused stepford wife, who placed a lithe index finger beside her plush lips as her nervous eyes scanned the room.

“D-dearie me! Where am I?” she asked, not so much out of desire to return to her old place, but more so out of a desire to have someone to tell her what to do. Thankfully for her, Stella was happy to inform her about the state of things.

“Oh, Josie, have you forgotten already?” Stella asked with a stern tone, instantly commanding the 50s housewife’s attention. “You’re in the living room, hon! You need to be in the kitchen, cleaning up the mess I made earlier!”

“Josie” let out a relieved sigh, slightly resting her beautiful face on her left hand with a tired smile, happy that there was someone as helpful and loving as Stella to direct the housewife to her next important task. “Oh goodness, that’s right! What ever would I do without my loving wife, Stella?”

Stella never recalled getting married, but she wasn’t about to quit while she was ahead. “Oh, you’d probably be found aimlessly cleaning a beaver dam or something!” From what appeared to be a dimension above this one, canned laughter could be heard. If Stella had one complaint about her new situation, it would definitely be that.

She plopped back onto the couch as Josie got to work in the kitchen, letting out a satisfying sigh as comfort reclaimed her once more. Not only could she relax now, she could do it without that little nagging voice in her head telling her that she needed to get up and do something lest her partner grew angrier at her. Now, Josie seemed happy to do manual labor!

Not particularly in the mood to shout, Stella pointed the remote at her own throat, hitting the plus button under “volume” several times in rapid succession. “HEY JOSIE, WHILE YOU’RE IN THERE, MAKE ME A SANDWICH.”

Her casual speaking voice was amplified to the point where it sounded like a concert loudspeaker. Josie didn’t seem to mind one bit, replying to the demand with a voice that was refreshingly chipper. “Of course, dear! One sandwich for my beloved, coming right up!”

FINALLY, A PARTNER I CAN GET BEHIND. Stella thought, the voice in her head also amplified by the raise in volume. She didn’t mind it one bit, it made her thoughts feel clearer and more confident. If only her voice wasn’t loud enough that it woke up the whole block.

“Finished! I’ll have your sandwich out soon!” said Josie from the kitchen.

“AND HOW LONG DID THAT TAKE YOU?” Stella asked, reveling in her newfound authority.

“Oh, not long at all! About ten minutes, I think? Teehee!”

Without much more time to wait, Josie returned with sandwich in hand, adorned in an adorable little maid outfit with fishnet stockings that squeezed her supple thighs and black and white bonnet—an outfit surprisingly immodest for 50’s sensibilities. Stella didn’t mind one bit, if anything, it only enticed her to Josie more. “HEH, FORGET THE SANDWICH, BABE, COME OVER HERE, I WANNA GET A PIECE OF THAT ASS!”

Josie seemed excited, yet a wave of apprehensiveness stifled her enjoyment. “B-but dear, shouldn’t we wait until marriage before we—”

The housewife bending forward to place Stella’s sandwich on the side table betrayed her apprehension as it put her in range of Stella herself, who grabbed Josie by a lock of her auburn hair and brought her in for a passionate tongue kiss. Josie resisted for but a moment, then her posture relaxed as she embraced the pleasures of 21st century relationship sensibilities.

Stella ran her tongue along her lover’s lips, savoring the unique expanse of moist, plump flesh. Josiah’s desire to remain clean shaven had always bugged Stella. When he’d go in for a kiss or a cuddle, she could always feel the roughness of his poorly-shaven beard hairs scraping against her cheeks. Now, it was a level of smoothness from a bygone era, where untested face creams full of dubious materials reigned supreme—but they sure felt good on the face!

The adventurous fingers of Stella find themselves exploring further and further down her girlfriend’s body. Her greedy fingers gripped a fistfull of supple, spherical flesh, inciting a squirm and a squeal from Josie as her insanely sensitive nipples cry out for mercy upon being forcefully gripped for the first time in the housewife’s life. Her new backstory saw her raised on a lifetime of abstinence, often punishing herself mentally for touching her body or having sensual thoughts about other women. Now, both aspects of her life had been thoroughly opposed by the newest authority figure in her life. Not sure of what to think, she allowed her thoughts to become consumed by pleasures never-before-seen.

Josie’s sensitive sex was much the same, dripping hungrily before Stella’s fingers had even trekked into her netherregions. But Stella, her attention span thoroughly demolished through weeks of trashy television, wouldn’t keep her girlfriend’s needy snatch waiting long.

Keeping one hand aggressively kneading Josie’s breasts, Stella reserved the other for her girlfriend’s sopping wet netherregions. Even with a pair of lacy panties atop it, Stella was surprised by just how impossibly tight the brunette’s pussy was. It too had been denied its purpose, one that the eager Stella was happy to fulfill. Josie sucked in her plump lower lip as she attempted to remain poised and quiet in the face of overwhelming pleasure. However, the second that the brunette returned the favor to her raven haired girlfriend, Stella couldn’t keep the sensation to herself.

“WOOOOOWW HOOOZA WOW!” She exclaimed as Josie’s novice hands rubbed at her frequently underwhelmed sex, her excitement only further enunciated by her increase in volume. “OH FUCK. OH YES. RIGHT THERE. HOLY FUCK.” Nearby, glass threatened to shatter.

Even fully clothed and on a rather uncomfortable couch, Stella was more turned on now than she had ever been in her life. “NGGHH, FUCK, I CAN’T RESIST IT ANYMORE, GET OUT OF THOSE SLUTTY LITTLE CLOTHES, JOSIE!”

Josie, not one to disobey orders, made no exception for this one. She leapt off of the couch and began to disrobe, revealing a modest bra that still left little to the imagination as her perky nipples threatened to pierce through the fabric entirely with their excitement. Stella was quick to follow suit.

But before Stella and Josie could move on to a subsequent numbered base, they heard an angry knock at the door. Panicking and slightly embarrassed, Stella lowered the volume on her own voice as she made her way over to the front entrance. She was greeted to the waft of cigarette smoke as her less-than-discreet neighbor grumbled and mumbled.

“Could you please shut up? What are you, broadcasting your voice over a megaphone? The whole county doesn’t need to hear your love makin’, I got an early shift tomorrow!” He sneered. “And if I hear it again, you’ll get a lot more than a verbal warning next time!”

Having said his piece, he began to walk away. But Stella wouldn’t let bygones be bygones. Today was finally going her way and now this vibe-killer just had to show up and totally interrupt her sexytime! Unfortunately, she wasn’t one for confrontation, and for all of Josie’s amazing feats, the stepford wife was somehow meeker than Stella.

Then Stella recalled a certain channel filled with characters who were anything but pushovers! A dirty, ear-to-ear smirk grew upon her face as she aimed the remote at Josie, inputting the numbers two, three and eight in quick succession. One brief yet expected pause later and Stella’s partner was engulfed in static once again.

Gone was the waifish auburn-haired wife, in her stead, an absolute beefcake of a Kryptonian. Josie was now Kara Zor-El, better known as Supergirl. Stella just had to let that sentence play over in her mind again to appreciate the full gravity of it. Josie was now Supergirl.

And Supergirl she was! Lofty and prominent were her cheekbones, affording a regal appearance that befitted a Kryptonian like herself. Once auburn hair had blossomed into a brilliant blonde, lavish waves of vivid yellow defying gravity just as she herself was, bobbing and bouncing like a ship at sea as she floated inches off the ground.

Unlike the rather daft Josie, Supergirl immediately understood the assignment. She wordlessly zipped forward before the neighbor could react, grabbing him by the ankle and holding him upside-down, dangling him several feet from the ground. He screamed like a banshee, but Supergirl’s expression remained almost robotically monotone during all of it.

“Yeah! That’s right, asshole! Supergirl is my girlfriend!” Stella exclaimed, running outside in her bra and panties to taunt the neighbor further. “Bet you feel pretty stupid banging on my door now, huh?”

“Please! P-please! Let me go! I’ll-I’ll leave you alone from here on out! I promise!” The normally gruff man seemed almost uncharacteristically frightened upon seeing the upside-down world from so high up, blood rushing to his head as the superpowered blondel refused to let up. “H-have sex as loud as you want! Just please don’t hurt me or my family!”

“You better fucking believe we’re going to have insane sex, idiot!” Stella spat, mere inches away from the neighbor’s face. “C’mon supes, I’m tired of standing out in the cold in my undies, let’s ditch this shithead and get up to the bedroom already!”

Kara’s deadpan expression seemed to lighten up a bit, as if she took no pleasure in teaching this guy a lesson, but was super excited at the prospect of getting her hands on her latest TV show love interest. She dropped the neighbor like a discarded piece of trash, already forgotten as she flew forward at barely perceptible speeds. Unlike the last man she handled, Stella was treated with care and grace as her super speed took the two of them up the stairs and into the bedroom.

The raven-haired woman should have been treated to a severe case of whiplash, but her new girlfriend’s powers obeyed old-school TV show logic—which just meant that her superspeed just resembled the act of speeding up existing footage instead of actually moving faster than one could perceive.

But regardless of form, Supergirl’s superspeed achieved its purpose, with Stella in her underwear splayed out along her bed, with a ferociously horny supergirl atop her breathing heavily as her hungry, shimmering blue eyes drank up every inch of her girlfriends delectable body. She bit down on her perfectly plush lips sensually with brilliantly white teeth, all her features looked supernaturally pretty, like they had popped right out of the comic page only to flop atop Stella’s body.

Without warning, Kara began to grind her superhuman body against Stella, pressing her superhumanly lofty cheekbones as she moaned sweet nothings into Stella’s ear with a hint of uncontrollable frost breath. “F-fuck, babe, I-I’ve never felt so intimate with another human being before. I may be an alien… but you make me feel more human than I ever had before!”

Yeah that definitely sounds like a quote from a cheesy supergirl show. Stella thought. But goddamn if it isn’t just turning me on even more, especially after she just dropped that asshole on his head.

However, she found her ability to meaningfully influence the resulting intercourse rather lacking. Her Kryptonian girlfriend's body quite literally had the resistance of a brick wall. The raven-haired girl couldn’t adjust Kara’s position into a less cumbersome one, nor could she properly fondle the blonde’s breasts, which felt like attempting to squeeze a stress ball filled with the densest liquid known to man.

Kara noticed her girlfriend struggling and attempted to offer a remedy. “Oh, is my supersuit proving a hindrance to you?”

Without waiting for an answer, the Kryptonian floated up into the air sideways as if she were possessed by a spirit, only to begin spinning rapidly. The old wonder woman method of changing clothes proved to be a corny but effective way to enter the nude efficiently, as when Kara began to slow her spin from an incomprehensible blur, her suit had vanished entirely. While the skin-tight suit had already left little to the imagination,

Of course, the hindrance of her impervious body did not dissipate alongside her attire. For that, Stella would simply need to take matters into her own hands. Quite literally, in fact, as she gripped the remote tightly in her hand and thought about how to remedy this situation without sacrificing the stunningly sexy supergirl currently straddling her stomach, aimlessly grinding against Stella’s chubby tummy.

Perhaps her best course of action was to look inward. But which character could she pick that would ensure a pleasurable experience, while also maintaining her awareness of who she actually was. The last thing she wanted was to become a prisoner in her own body like Josiah had!

Then, her brain was blessed with an actually intelligent workaround—a 4th-wall-breaking character. It was perfect. Someone who was aware of their status as a character would remember who they were prior! Truly, a foolproof plan!

But then again, which character would she pick? Two immediately sprung to mind…

Between Gwenpool and She-Hulk, the latter seemed far more appealing. Not only would she retain meta knowledge of the world around her, but she’d do it within a body whose strength rivaled supergirl’s. Pointing the remote her way once more, she inputted the correct channel from memory—378—one that had been airing reruns of the She-Hulk Disney+ show after the streaming service was deemed a financial failure due to the streaming bubble bursting.

Stella let a moan of satisfaction escape her lips as her mind shifted into that of Jennifer Walters. Her blood began to boil as comic-accurate gamma radiation flooded into her body, striations of musculature gradually forming upon her body as incalculable amounts of power evolved her body into a beautiful, monstrous woman. Her muscles tensed, clenching tightly under the overwhelming onslaught of a Hulk’s impossible strength. Jennifer’s biceps surged anew, fueled by the strongest Marvel hero’s power. Her arms, legs, chest, back, and stomach absolutely erupted with strength as they gulped from the massive man’s vast pool of unfathomable power. Her flawless skin shifted to a hue of striking, verdant green, her body growing in size from her normally diminutive four-foot-nothing to a supremely exaggerated six-foot-seven as her shadow eclipsed her superhero partner as the blonde lay upon the bed in eager anticipation.

Her clothes were torn as if a tornado had ravaged her body, single strands of her shirt still desperately clinging to deliciously rounded muscles. A hauntingly feminine roar and a powerful flex of her thickly-corded muscles and whatever polyester dared to attach itself to her was eviscerated in an instant, replaced with ridges, swells, and staggeringly deep trenches of striation. Her basketball-sized breasts burst from their cloth cage like furious animals, bouncing with a hypnotic sway that captivated her blonde haired partner.

Supergirl’s face became almost crazed with desire as her canine bit down upon plush bottom lip flesh. She-Hulk’s face similarly shared in this eagerness.

“A supergirl who likes girls? Shouldn’t be surprised, it is 2023 after all!” Jennifer quipped, breaching the 4th wall and looking at a hypothetical camera. At that moment, Walters began to ponder the reality of her situation. How was she here? Why was she topping a beautiful blonde girl? Was she even allowed to crossover with DC?

Oh yeah, I’m actually being temporarily borrowed by a girl named Stella. Huh. Well, I guess I’ve been in weirder situations. She shuddered, recalling a certain interaction with a popular rapper. But now was the time for hot, steamy, superhero snogging!

The two powerful girls locked tongues, gyrating their bodies as the room crumbled around the sheer power of an unstoppable force and immovable object colliding. Radiant blonde locks coalesced with dark, raven-green curls, masterfully framing the two lover’s faces as they embraced in a legal nightmare of passion. Their nude bodies clashed in devastation far greater than an actual fight between them could have produced. While both intelligent, sympathetical women in their own regards, they found themselves unable to care about the world around them as it was reduced into a smoldering crater from their sexual squeezing.

By the time the two superheroes even opened their eyes to witness the effects, the whole neighboring block had been totaled. A meteor might as well have stricken the area.

And yet, the two girls were happy. The two were cuddling within a hole that could easily rival the grand canyon. Kara Zor-El was satisfied, Jennifer Walters was satisfied…

…but Stella wasn’t satisfied at all.

Sure, the sex was good, but she hadn’t turned herself into a hulking woman and risked her sense of self just so she could be merely even with her super partner. She needed to be stronger! She needed to be more powerful! She needed to be… bigger.

She retook full control of She-Hulk’s body, brushing the ash of her former neighbors off of the universal remote as she searched for some other button that could give her an extra edge in this “battle.” Then, her eyes locked on an often-forgotten button in the annals of the plastic rectangle—she smiled devilishly.

A quick rewind brought Stella and Supergirl back into the bedroom for a proper round two, backwards time repairing all the damages and returning to the point right after She-Hulk’s transformation had been completed like a horny nerd returning to their favorite part of a video.

Supergirl’s face once more became crazed with desire as her canine bit down upon plush bottom lip flesh. She-Hulk’s smile grew wide with devilish deviousness.

“Alright Supergirl, let’s take this to the next level, heh heh heh…” Stella spoke through the muscular, verdant woman. Her large finger hovered over the button simply labeled “PIC SIZE” before pointing it at her own head and selecting it. A green-bordered blue popup window appeared beside her, listing the current setting as “1080p.” She then hit the up arrow on the remote, adjusting the number to “1440p.”

And then she grew a few inches. Perhaps “a few” was an understatement. With math accounted for, the resolution change offered Stella-She-Hulk an additional 26 inches of height. But it wasn’t just vertically that her body grew—her form looked as if someone had literally resized it to be larger, keeping her proportions intact. She was simply larger in every conceivable way.

Kara’s jaw dropped at the sight of her higher-resolution lover who now stood at a staggering 8 '9, if her five-five height wasn’t already dwarfed before, it more than certainly was now. And yet, Stella still was not satisfied. Perhaps it was her desire to prove her superiority over Josiah, perhaps it was an unquenchable thirst for power. Regardless, her massive thumb hit the up arrow once more, boosting the resolution to the next available setting—4K Resolution.

1080p to 1440p seemed like a drop in the bucket compared to 1440p to 2160p, with the muscular lawyer-turned-superheroine ascending to an absurd 13 ‘1. Possessing over double the height of her supergirl lover, her head effortlessly smashed through the ceiling of the bedroom. Now in glorious UHDTV resolution, a flex of her mammoth biceps displayed every pixel of her defined musculature and vast expanse of flawless, verdurous skin. If her burgeoning head hadn’t destroyed the central light in the room, She-Hulk’s shadow would’ve completely eclipsed her naked lover as she lay vulnerable upon the bed.

Still. Stella was not satisfied.

Somehow pressing the up arrow with her absolutely titanic thumb, she skipped right past 5K to an absolutely absurd 6K. Now at sextuple the height at a mind-boggling 39 ’6, the ceiling was no more, nor was the house. Her sheer mass surpassed both, leaving the couple’s place of residence in shambles as She-Hulk shattered it into unrecognizable wood chippings and brick piles through her ascension.

“H-holy shit…” Supergirl spoke, though her words were drowned out at the sheer presence of Stella-Jennifer’s existence. Every fiber of her muscle was absurdly detailed to the point that she simply had to be immaculately large just to display such pristine perfection. A powerful, animalistic roar tore through what little remained of the house’s foundations, as well as shattering the glass of every house in a mile radius. Her volume was simply on surround sound settings.

She-Hulk scooped up the tinier Supergirl with both hands as if reaching into a basin of water for a drink. Licking her lips with desire, she brought several powerful lip-pecks upon Zor-El as she reveled in her unparalleled superiority over the foolish masses of the world. There were several names one could use to describe her—massive, kaiju-like, destroyer of homes and families, an uncaring force of nature—but no one could say she was a lazy couch potato. It simply would never come up in their on-the-ground reporting or subsequent government documents. Whoever was insane enough to propose it would be laughed out of the room or fired on the spot. Her existence had not created a blast radius or shockwave or earthquake. It hadn’t settled there, it had just appeared and claimed its territory with sheer destruction.

Stella was no superhero like She-Hulk.

Kara slithered a silky calf around as much of Stella’s staggeringly powerful shoulder as she could muster, losing herself to pleasure as an absolutely massive green tongue invaded the supergirl’s mouth, stuffing it full with the spongy muscle as it overwhelmed all resistance with its superior strength and mass.

They continued to make out, their insatiable bodies intertwined, as their sheer existence brought about more and more property damage. She-Hulk fell to her back, decimating the very same neighbor’s house who had filed a noise complaint earlier.

“My God... You are so... fucking amazing…” Kara’s voice barely managed to squeal in between her goddess-lover’s succulent mouth-intruder. The sheer overwhelmingness of She-Hulk’s existence was bringing her to near-orgasm levels already.

“I know,” was all Stella responded with—and that was all she needed to respond with. Even after turning her partner into one of the most powerful known superheroes in popular fiction, she still found a way to come out on top with her sense of self intact.

To ensure that her domination remained, she commanded the mind-broken Supergirl to press the fast forward button on reality, which she obeyed post-haste. 2x, 4x, 8x, 16x, 32x, 64x, 128x… Stella watched with malicious satisfaction as her unrivaled glory remained dominant for hundreds of years to come. Decades turned to centuries as her reign only ascended, massive structures erected in her glory that only barely managed to capture her pristine resolution.

She remained at her absurd height, only taking further control over Jennifer Walter’s mind until there was no Jennifer anymore, only Stella’s brain puppeting She-Hulk like a sexy skinwalker.

~

Now far into the future and loving it, Stella found herself returning to her natural habitat, sitting upon a couch—one specifically crafted for her mighty ass—and hitting the “on” button of her remote to bless the TV with electricity—specifically a modified version of the scoreboards that hung over the center of Dallas' AT&T stadium, since they were 2105 feet across. Perfect for an ideal viewing experience.

Kara Zor-El opened the supermassive door to a delightfully predictable sight. After an absolutely enthralling eighteen hour attack of a nearby steel factory that was organizing a rebel uprising against their new undisputed overlord. All she wanted to come home to was her girlfriend sitting in the exact same spot as she had been when she left, remote in her hand, aimlessly flipping through channels on the TV without a care in the world. She made no attempt to hide her relaxed expression behind a lock of raven-green tresses, instead flashing bedroom eyes at her loving, if rather tiny, girlfriend.

She removed her supersuit, stripping down to just her bra and undies, tiredly slumping atop her girlfriend’s squishy verdant bosom as if they were dual beanbags.

“Long day?” Stella asked, not particularly caring about the answer but craving smalltalk.

“You better believe it, babe. Phew, sometimes I wonder why you don’t just take care of these annoying counter-factions yourself. You’ve been cooped up in here so long they’re starting to think you don’t exist anymore.”

“Are you questioning my methods, babe?” 6K-resolution-Stella-She-Hulk responded, her voice now far more serious as she raised a sculpted eyebrow. Kara looked up, her face frozen in fear, only to lock eyes with the deadly serious demeanor of her partner.

“Uh, n-no babe! I was just throwing out a hypothetical and—!”

She found herself muted.

“Yeah, no excuses, you should know by now that questioning me gets your speaking privileges revoked.”

Supergirl desperately attempted to pantomime an apology, but a shake of her massive green head showed Stella simply wasn’t having any of that. “I was going to let you enjoy your day off from work tomorrow, but now… I think a deep-clean of the house is in order.

If Kara still had the ability to talk, she would’ve undoubtedly mentioned how Stella’s custom-built house was six times the scale of the average house, while also being built to the design specifications of a grand castle. No time at all for a supergirl to clean… but…

A push of three number buttons with an unmute button to cap it off and Kara Zor-El was Josie once more, clasping her hands together with joy at the sight of her lovely wife. “Oh! My dear Stella, you look absolutely pooped! Must’ve been a tough day at work, huh?” The omnipresent laugh track burst with joyous, pre-recorded acclaim at the dramatic irony of the situation.

“That’s right, Josie. Now get to work. You’ve got a lot of house to clean.” Stella replied bluntly, her eyes glazing back over to the mindless content on the TV.

“Ah, yes, about that…” Josie inquired politely, forcing Stella to return her gaze to her partner with a resigned sigh.

“What?”

“Well, perhaps I could have a resolution boost to perhaps 2K? Just so I could clean this house more efficiently?” she asked, her voice meeker than a mouse as she probed for possible assistance for the first time in her life.

“Seriously? You interrupted my precious TV time for such a silly request?” Her massive pupils glared daggers down at her comparatively tiny partner. “You’re getting demoted for that one. Maybe if you clean the house well I’ll turn you back.”

Pointing the remote at Josie, Stella pressed the “PIC SIZE” button, only to bring the resolution of the 50’s housewife down to 720p—her already diminutive height of 5 ‘0 now proportioned at a pitiful 3 ‘3.

“Ah! Forgive me for my insolence! I’ll get right to it! Gladly, even!” her lower-quality voice spoke, immediately beginning to sweep around herself with a broom that had shrunken with her. Returning to her shows, Stella accidentally bumped a button on the remote as she put it onto the side table, hitting the down arrow while Josie’s resolution box was still active. She was then reduced to a 480p setting, leaving her at a downright puny 2 ‘2. Josie did not dare complain. She was a dutiful housewife for a lovely woman who always knew what was best for the household!

The stepford wife remained steadfast, gripping her even tinier broom tight as she returned to her cleaning duties. While her existence was exhausting, Josie could at the very least take solace in her loving partner’s excellent work ethic. Surely, someone like Stella was one of the hardest workers in the world if she acted so rough with her lovely wife.

Josie laughed.

The audience laughed.

Fade to black.