Super Jaded (13/23)

Chapter 13: Jaded

Leaving the abandoned house proved to be a little challenging at first. All Nina wanted to do was explore every peak and crevice of my new awesome body. To say the roles had been reversed would have been a gross understatement.

I lay floating, splayed about the air a few inches above the ground as she peppered my muscular, naked body with love. I would have thought flying took more effort, Nina certainly made it seem so, but my body was practically self-sustaining now. Laying among the wind felt no more challenging than letting the earth hold my new fantastic body.

For the fifth time today, I found myself running hands along my own musculature. It was such a breathtakingly surreal experience, my body the perfect mixture of raw masuline strength and pure feminine beauty. And as much as I despised such gendered language, I was too busy basking in my own pit of pleasure to correct myself.

Who would have guessed that I, Fern Chang, would have woken up to this?

I was already in an unusual situation before this, being the only person in human history who could legitimately say they were dating a superhero. Now, one could argue that the situation had been flipped on its head.

Rippling muscles presented a power far beyond anything of this world, even Nina. It was as if an entire second puberty had washed over me in the course of a minute, granting me a body somehow even more beautiful than the last one.

I recalled when the two of us had first fallen in love, how I would always ask her to pretend to be defeated by me. When the lights were off and we were naked under the sheets, I’d roleplay as some sort of villain who overwhelmed her in strength yet ultimately lost to the power of love. It was a scenario we had played out so many times that even with my enhanced memory I couldn’t remember the count.

But now the lights were on and the bed was nowhere to be seen. This was the new reality for us.

I could fly anywhere. Punch through anything. See beyond any obstacle, including certain metals Nina assured that even she could not see through. I was terrified to try out any potentially destructive abilities like my laser vision or ice breath. Knowing what Nina was capable of with them, I wasn’t about to accelerate global warming with a test fire.

After what felt like hours of intense sex between the two of us, I finally got our minds back on track. Nina flew off to get us some clothes, assuring me that she “knew how to sneak-fly better than I could at the moment.” I couldn’t argue with that logic. If what she said about the American government having a way to negate our powers was true, I wanted nothing to do with this country.

It didn’t take long for Nina to return with the clothes.

“Hey babe, guess who’s back!”

“That was fast!” I responded. I had a sneaking suspicion that Nina didn’t pay for these clothes, but I could only hope she stole them from a big company instead of a mom and pop shop.

“Wow, you even got some in my size! Well, almost…”

My navel peeked out from under my shirt and I had enough ankle exposed from my sweatpants to make an amish man faint. And these were the largest sizes made for women.

I did a little twirl in midair.

“Well, how do I look?”

Nina’s face was bright red. “What’s the next step above perfect? Because you might be a step above that even!”

I couldn’t hide the smile that arose on my face from that corny line. I flew forwards and cupped Nina’s cheeks, leaning forward for what she interpreted as a kiss. But as my lips approached hers, they formed into a devilish smile instead.

“Race you to Norway,” I whispered softly,

With that, the two of us were off, tearing through clouds as we made our way to the coastline. It wasn’t long before the green and yellow terrain was replaced with the deep blue of the ocean, its once limiting vastness reduced to a mere change in scenery for me and my girlfriend.

Speaking of Nina, she was lagging behind. Was I really that much faster than her? What had taken me a mere five minutes to travel 5,000 miles took her nearly twice the time. I swore my enhanced vision saw her dipping behind the curvature of the earth in the middle. When she finally reunited with me, she almost looked winded.

Little moments like that were beyond surreal to me. I used to watch Nina lift collapsing buildings on TV, now I was outpacing her with an ability I had only obtained this morning. But she wasn’t upset or jealous. Far from it. Tears of joy were streaming down her face as we embraced three thousand feet from sea level.

It was such a relief to have the only other superhero on the planet be the love of your life and I bet Nina felt the exact same way.

It didn’t take us long to settle into our new living conditions. By the time the sun rose the next day, the two of us had already renovated a house. The locals seemed unnerved by us at first, but they warmed up to the idea of superhuman protectors pretty quickly. I couldn’t understand a lick of Norwegian. Nor Danish. Nor Swedish. They didn’t exactly share any root languages with Chinese or Sioux, after all.

Oh well, learning a fourth language never hurts!

Pretty soon, the status quo was set. The locals would let us take up residence in their neighborhood as long as we kept crime down. Norway was already one of the most peaceful countries in the world and very accepting of LGBT members, so I figured it would be smooth sailing from here on out for the two of us.

Well, eventually I’d knock some sense into every billionaire on earth, but that goal could wait. I wanted to spend some quality time with my girlfriend and further explore my powers first.

It took a while, but we eventually spotted our first perpetrator when the two of us were out on patrol. It appeared as if a woman was being mugged in an alleyway! Me and Nina sprung into action, descending upon the perpetrator in mere seconds. He didn’t even have time to make a run for it before Nina had one hand on his knife arm and the other around his neck.

The woman, who was still just as terrified for some reason, fled the scene. A simple x-ray of her body confirmed that she had no injuries, so I chose not to pursue her. After all, I had a suspicion that we’d get a far more entertaining explanation out of the frightened man before us.

“So tell me, what exactly did you think you’d get out of that poor woman’s purse?” I questioned with a smile on my face, amused at how my taller form brought even more fear to his eyes.

He didn’t immediately answer, so Nina twisted his wrist rather painfully. “Answer her, asshole! Or you’ll have to answer my fist next!” I was surprised at how rough she was being with a mere mugger, but I also didn’t want to give up my veneer of fear that could intimidate a proper answer out of him.

“I-I just needed her ID!” The terrified man shouted in response, his eyes shut tightly in a twisted mix of fear and pain.

“And why would you need something like that?”

He seemed even more reluctant to answer that question. Another twist of his arm from Nina convinced him otherwise.

“Ack! Aaaack! Owie!!! Okay! I-I’m getting a database of… of all of the prostitutes in the area.”

That was… not what I was expecting. I almost thought I misheard it at first due to his heavy accent.

“Why the hell are you doing that?”

With that, some of his confidence must’ve regained itself.

“B-because. Y-you women have had it too good for too long! You can just go on the streets and sell your bodies!? It’s shameful!”

“Jesus, you have some issues. Nothing a little correctional facility time won’t fix though. Nina let’s— NINA NO!”

Time seemed to slow around me as I witnessed what was happening. No—it was slowing around me. Nina, apparently forgetting the fact that her punch would likely obliterate his face into red mist, let go of his wrist and aimed one right at him. Thankfully, this strange slowing power I apparently possessed allowed me to catch it before any harm could be done. As soon as my larger hand wrapped around hers, time resumed to its normal speed.

I could feel her wrist rattling around, attempting to break free to no avail. It was only when she looked me in the eyes did she cease. The mugger had fainted out of sheer fear.

“Nina! W-what was that!?”

“I- uh…”

She seemed almost as terrified as me. I wasn’t sure what to say after that. It had felt as if an eternity had passed before I finally broke the silence.

“Look, i-it’s okay. I know this guy probably pisses you off, he pisses me off too, but we can just kill him! Nina, you’re better than that, remember?”

She looked at me with what I could only interpret as confusion for the briefest of seconds, as if she knew something that I didn’t. However, her face transitioned to that of solemnness and it was enough to send me back into protector mode.

I let go of her wrist and brought her into a hug. She dropped the man to the ground and returned the embrace.

These last few days must’ve been so rough to her. With me in a coma and the government apparently attacking her, I almost didn’t blame her for almost instinctively breaking her no-kill rule.

I’m just glad she hadn’t killed anyone while I was out.