Saturday Update!

Alright alright, good morning! Buckle up because I have a lot of ground to cover in this one. First off, good job on making it through another week folks. To persist is to resist!

I'm actually gonna give this a table of contents cuz I dont want to forget anything and I have Things™ on my Mind™ [ also easier to skip chunks you're not interested in ]:

• Some words about the state of things [ vaguely political, hopefully not a bummer though ]

• Valentines day!

• Writing/editing update

• Lawrence sketches

• Willow chaser

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The state of things

If you're having a really rough time lately with the news and politics and stuff, you're not alone. It's a difficult time to have basic pattern recognition and to give a shit about other people. It's also something that's affecting all of us around the world, not just the US. I know I've been having a difficult time [ fellow Canadians will understand this: I live in rural Alberta :( ]

But I'm not just saying 'ooh guys it's bad', I have an actual message here.

I think I've come to understand that what I am feeling is grief. I am mourning a world view that has been irrevocably changed to something worse. I've felt like this before and I recognize it.

I think we are mourning the world we thought we had. A place where, to a reliable degree, laws are fair and enforced. The guilty are punished and the innocent are helped. Where all human life is respected. Where scammers are caught, and stopped.

I don't think this was naïveté on our parts, to believe in this. I think it was granted, like a gift, to those who were privileged enough to remain largely untouched by exploitation so far. People like myself, who got to grow and benefit from rights that people before us fought for.

We are learning now that the world we saw and expected doesn't exist. This is worthy of deep mourning in all its stages. And I do see all its stages all around me and within me. Denial, anger, bargaining, as we work towards acceptance- and let me be clear, my definition of acceptance is not to allow this unfair world to continue and to uphold it as 'normal'. What I mean is to simply know and see the world for what it is in this moment.

I think, at least within myself, there was a part of me that thought justice was an inherent force of nature. Something that always exists around us, like a protective and comforting blanket.

While it pains me to find out this isn't true, I think it also empowers me with the real truth: Justice, human rights, a government that works for people and protects them from corporate greed and exploitation- these are things we can fight for. These are things we WILL fight for. Maybe these views were obvious on paper, but I feel like it's another thing to understand them emotionally.

So, the bottom line of my message is this: Be gentle with yourself. You may be grieving a world view, and I can assure you it is just as painful and heartbreaking as any other grief.

And know that we will fight, as humans have always fought, for fairness and dignity in ubiquity. It is simply our turn now.

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Valentines Day

Okay gear switch here, and I swear I won't go on as long.

I just want to encourage my fellow singles to grab some of the love of this holiday for themselves. I've been [ happily ] single since 2018, and I've made a habit of treating myself on Valentines day. It can be a day for self love, indulgence, and tenderness for us too.

I will be enjoying a set of local artisanal chocolate truffles, a leisurely walk around town to my favourite cafe, a special dinner I haven't decided on or bought yet, and enough edibles to get couchlocked while watching other people play nostalgic video games on youtube. 😌

And if you actually happen to be in romantic relationship: HEY DONT FORGET ITS VALENTINES DAY LMAO

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Writing/Editing Update

OKAY Finally to the actual work! Sorry for all the yapping!

Last week I was a lot more productive! I was able to work properly every work day! I got a bunch of editing done, and wrote quite a bit of new content [ like I mentioned before, this script is just built different and needs a lot more added content during editing ]

The only thing that maybe isn't so great is that I miiiight have been a little delusional about my 'I can do this in two weeks' statement. You'd think I'd learn but here I am.

Here's what I have done so far:

The return of the chart. This time the blue represents edited areas with the additional content complete. For anyone who joined recently: The script is KIND OF done, as in there is a working playable text game from start to finish, but now it needs to be beefed up in a way I can't be very clear about because it involves spoilers.

On the bright side, I do actually feel like what I'm making is getting very close to my vision. It'll still need a lot of work later and help from testers but I feel like I'm slowly accomplishing the pipe dream I set out with.

Am I still screaming and complaining daily about my hubris and foolishness with this horrid monster of a script? Yes.

Is it the most mind numbingly complicated script I've ever written? Probably.

Am I rotating in a torment nexus of my own design? Well, yeah.

But it's kind of working I think

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Lawrence Sketches

I actually finished the editing I set out to do by mid-Friday so I switched to doing some practice sketches of Lawrence:

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Willow Chaser

[ I've also attached a very cute video of Willow asking to be pet right when I wake up- she stands up to grab my hand 🥺 ]

Thank you guys for your company and support, and for tolerating my long-winded soap box stints LMAO I hop you find some time for yourself today. Hang in there. And of course, see you next week!