Firsts and lasts and French silk

Today started with a shower like every day lately.

I’m noticing changes in my body since the surgery. I can feel my organs shifting and finding new spaces to rest. It’s not painful per se but it’s a bit weird and alarming at times. I’m noticing that my uterus was so fucking big! My belly looks so different to me now. Jeremy actually commented on it too. So my old physique is now gone and I have a new physical form. It’s pretty strange to watch the transformation but I like what I see just as much as I liked it before so it’s not bad, just new and different.

As I was exiting my shower and drying off (Jeremy has to dry my bottom half 🤣 because I still can’t bend over until my doctor clears me) I decided that I need to get out of the house. I’ve not adventured out of the house except for a walk around my block yesterday before the trick or treaters started. It was a great little walk. Short but empowering! We spent last night setting up scary yard stuff for trick or treaters and I had a blast watching them from the window. I was too exhausted to venture outside after 5pm. I was trying to watch quietly but could not stop laughing uncontrollably as each child walked by the truck, Jeremy would press the key fob and honk the horn. Each child screaming as they jumped in the air each time the horn was honked.

Now, laughing is good medicine but right now it hurts, a lot… but it was worth it! I had not laughed so hard since the Obscura show in Chicago last month. After that my health swiftly declined. It felt incredible to find humor again on that level.

My son Miles was Bob Belcher and Memphis was Tina Belcher from Bobs Burgers and Oliver was Michael Myers. The kids had so much fun and we’re so scared! 😂 I loved watching💗

So today after my shower I chose to go on my first outside adventure by going to Village Inn. I figured , nothing ever happens at Village Inn. It’s safe and quiet and they have French silk pie.

I chose to sit on a pillow to cushion the ride because Illinois roads are not well paved. But, hey, at least women have the right to choice here so it’s a good trade off. As Jeremy drove I felt the shifting of my organs, took deep breaths, looked forward to the richness of the French silk hitting my tongue. As I gently and slowly exited the car with Jeremy’s help I was dreaming of my pie. Little did I know what would await beyond the doors of the VI.

We stepped through the door to hear, what I assumed was playful banter heating up. The banter turned to yelling, yelling to screaming then what sounded like punching and kicking. My heart rate shot up and my fight or flight was triggered as I watched a grown man try to intimidate and threaten assault on a bad ass waitress to ushered him outside with authority and composure. The grown man continued to reel out of control outside and make an ass out of himself until he jumped into his truck and sped off, leaving the waitress behind to pick up the physical and emotional mess he left in the wake of his toddler tantrum.

Immediately I wanted to leave. My first thought is “this man child is coming back”… we left after trying our best to comfort the waitress (who deserves the biggest raise).

Instead of giving up and going home, we chose to try another Village in down the street and complete our lunch adventure. I’m glad we did. I wanted to celebrate this being my last day of heavy antibiotics and I wanted to feel productive by finishing our outside lunch adventure. What the actual fuck is wrong with this man? Why choose to terrify and entire restaurant because your order was wrong? As we left the waitress said he is a regular and pops off regularly but never this bad. It disturbs me that she will have to deal with him regularly. I’m left with lots of feelings about his outburst. I hope he gets help but am pretty sure he won’t. I hope she is safe.

I just couldn’t let the new state of America scare me away from accomplishing my goal of eating lunch outside my house today. I knew Jeremy would guard me but it was scary when he was throwing things around with no consequences or consideration to anyone else.

Regardless of his fuckery, Jeremy and I moved forward and accomplished that goal together.

I wanted to be able to leave the house once before my first doctors appointment post surgery tomorrow. I felt that would make the appointment that much less stressful knowing that I can do it, I can get in and out of the car and walk to the door with no wheel chair. I feel accomplished and ready to get my biopsy results and have my first exam since the surgery. Im feeling positive and look forward to hearing good news.🙏