We

Will be together for 8 years in February. On Valentine’s Day actually. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before. I love talking about our Valentine’s first date. Jeremy took me to see Fleetwood Mac. They were playing at Rosemont, out in the burbs. It was freezing out! Chicago has the most biting winds. After the show I was hiding in a corner of the venue outside waiting for our Uber. Jeremy is a giant in front of me so I was quite toasty and he stood with his back to me like a gentleman on a first date with a girl he has been friends with for 6 years. He was on his phone waiting for the Uber to show up and smoking a cigarette. I turned him around and kissed him. That pretty much sums up our entire relationship.

This dude has always watched out for me. Ride or die. Going through this experience only punctuates that. I have moments of fear and detachment heading into surgery soon. I get scared. But tonight we have been having so much fun gossiping and watching “Love is Blind” season 3.

We started out the day slowly and went shopping for a gift, after that we went to Miss Mamies catfish house. I ate a steak because I need iron right now. He had salmon. It was delicious as always. I love that spot. I can’t eat much these days so I took most of mine home and added on a bread pudding because they have the best!

I had been pretty deep in my feels today but after getting some really uplifting messages from loved ones I feel so much more positive.

I can only control so much. I can be sure I’m eating well, taking my meds, getting in 20 minutes of light exercise 3 times a day and thinking positively.

No that doesn’t mean that my fears will just go away or that just because I’m thinking positive things will always turn out in my favor but the reality is. Everything is going to be just fine, better than fine! I get to have this surgery, not I have to get this surgery. I get to have this surgery. I get to find relief from the pain I’ve experienced nonstop for three years. I get to look forward to a future where I can accomplish anything I want Without having to worry about stopping down one week out of every month. I get to live the life I’ve always wanted to. I still have moments where I get a little bit of anxiety but, I get to look forward to a lifetime of exciting adventures with nothing getting in my way, nothing stopping me. Yes it’s a necessary surgery, but it is also a luxury to have access to good healthcare. Tonight I’m simply counting my blessings and cuddling up next to the love of my life.