Long live the Queen

I woke to the news at 4:53 am from my burlesque daughter Mac D’vil. “I just heard about Tempest. Are you ok?”. Then I saw the next text from my dear one Bella Sin, “Hey my sibling, I Am checking in on you.”

I felt it.

I knew. I knew she was gone.

I knew the Queen had died.

I had spoken with her manager Harvey yesterday. I was wanting to speak with Tempest. I was told to wait to send flowers until after the surgery so she could enjoy them more when she woke up so I was Wanting to know if I should send flowers to her apartment or Tiffany’s or the hospital, and he said she was not looking good, she was sleeping too much. I felt an immediate emptiness. Immediate regret.

About a week ago I traveled 3 hours to San Juan from Rincon to catch a flight to Vegas to visit my Burlesque mom Tempest Storm and interview Tempest’s friend burlesque legend Tiffany Carter. Also Tempest’s part time care taker,. We had been trying to meet up over the past couple of years but life kept getting in the way. Then... Covid happened. I was not about to potentially take deadly germs to my 90+ Burlesque mother so we had not seen eachother in years.

After speaking with Harvey I found out that Tempest would be going into hip surgery. This concerned me because Tempest was now 93 and I understood the risks of such a big surgery at that age. Harvey agreed that it would be good to come see Tempest before the surgery so I booked my flight. On my trip to San Juan (point of my departure) I started to feel off. Exhausted. Sweaty.

I was sweating, freezing then burning hot. Laying in bed at the air bnb I realized that I had a fever. I had spiked a fever out of nowhere... covid numbers are spiking out here on the island because spring breakers had just invaded and the maskless masses left a deadly stew of Covid in their wake. I didn’t know what to do... I wanted to be with Tempest. I knew that this surgery could be tough to get through. I wanted to be there before hand so I could see her while she was still strong enough to talk and laugh and enjoy the visit. But this fever was burning me up. I knew that there was no way I would make it on the flight. Even if I could fool the TSA into thinking I wasn’t sick I would only be hurting everyone on that flight and potentially hurting Tempest, her caretakers and everyone I came in contact with, by traveling with a fever.

I had to make the choice to stay back. I cried so hard all the way back to my house. 3 hour drive with severe depression, knowing I may never get to see Tempest again. I had asked to speak to her, or FaceTime but she was not in any shape to do that because she was having confusion and anxiety due to the impending surgery. I know she couldn’t speak on the phone well due to her confusion and hearing. There was nothing I could do. I felt sick, feverish, depressed and helpless.

You see Tempest was about to go into surgery for her failing hip so I wanted to see her before hand. I really wanted to get a nice interview with her for another project I’m working on. She loved being involved in this stuff.

Tempest really loved to work. She loved it when folks included her in projects. And we were always honored to have her. We have worked on several projects together over the years and that was the tie that bonded us.

I had the honor of meeting Tempest almost a decade ago, on American Pickers while working on an episode with Jack White. We became fast friends. Tempest started talking about her history and we bonded even further, realizing that we had endured similar traumas and celebrated some of the same triumphs.

In Fact some years ago, I had the incredible opportunity to crown Tempest as the official Queen of the Iowa Burlesque Festival. That’s where I met Kaitlyn and Nimisha and they invited me into the documentary they were making about Tempest. I loved researching Tempests life and helping in the Documentary. In addition I was able to fly out to Vegas to be with her for the Burlesque Hall of Fame, where I met many new friends including Bella Sin, who texted me this morning to check on the state of my heart after Tempest passed.

My life has been one break neck speed whirl wind over the last 12 years. At times I feel like the Tasmanian Devil just whirling and spinning into town after town to devour history and tear through forgotten reminders of the past. But my favorite part of all of that has been meeting so many amazing personalities.

Tempests personality has always intrigued me. With so much bombshell at the surface you may not see the vulnerability and fragility of her core. She always put on a brave face for me but I could always see through the cracks.

Regardless of her vulnerability or possibly because of it, Tempest was a force to be reckoned with.

I thought it would be nice to get her on film one more time while I was out there to see her but, as you can see, we never got that far.

You see, this is so difficult for me because Tempest wanted me when nobody else did. I’ve never been the cool kid. I’ve always been an odd one. Hard to pin down. Not social. Awkward at best. She loved me regardless.

I’ve always been an outsider but she never treated me that way. She just wanted my attention and time. She just wanted to belong too.

She was complicated and headstrong with very different world views than I have but we were always able to meet in the middle. We were always able to see through the trauma and programming of society and just see eachother. Some of our conversations were doozies, but at the end we embraced and accepted each other.

I regret not finding more time to visit Tempest. Not MAKING more time to visit.

This last year has put so much into perspective. About Tempest. About life. About relationships and loss. About end of life planning and how important it is to have someone you trust by your side. About life long friendships and the complicated beauty of it all.

I just wish I could have held her tiny crooked hands in mine one more time. Just one more hug, One more brilliant smile. One more half hearted playful argument ending in a pursed lip grin.

I just wish I could have been well enough to make that flight. I wish a lot of things but mostly, I wish she wasn’t gone.

Long Live The Queen.