Andy Keeps Trying - Chapter 13

ANDY KEEPS TRYING

Chapter 13: Andy makes up his mind

“When we're united, we're stronger. That’s true. But mark my words, folks, when we’re united under the right leadership, we become downright unstoppable!”

Rebecca had gotten so much better at public speaking.

She ended her speech masterfully, under a nourished round of applause, just as we had planned. 

Broadhall looked gutted at the reception she was getting. 

Not going to lie, it was always pleasant to see that prick unhappy. 

Quite amazingly, Rebecca showed zero signs of the chaos that had ensued only minutes earlier.

I had confronted her about the leaked pictures of David and I; she had told Cody that David had schemed for him to pass his exam; and to top it off, she had also found her only son having sex with a staffer from the opposing team.

I mean, this was a lot to deal with, but it was like nothing could break her.

Ultimately, as she stood there in front of Zach and Victor frantically readjusting their dicks in their pants, her sole concern had been about the campaign.

“You're working for Broadhall, right?” She asked Victor.

“I… I am.”

He was zipping up his suit pants.

“And you're fucking my son?” 

“Ms. Crown, I… No, I mean… Zach and I are…”

She held her hand in the hair. 

I had never seen Victor so shaky and freaked out.

He could not even form a coherent sentence.

“One thing that needs to be clear right away, young man. You better keep your mouth shut about anything you might have heard while you were hiding or doing God knows what in here, or trust me, I'll personally make sure that your life becomes a living hell.”

She always managed to surprise me.

Even in a time like this, Rebecca’s first thought was that Victor might run his mouth about the leaked pictures or the other scandals. 

“Mom?”

If possible, Zach seemed even more shaken up than Victor. 

He freaked out when I caught him at the swimming pool, but this was a whole new level of public exposure. 

“Zach, we’ll talk later. I don’t have time to deal with this right now. You.” She pointed to Victor. “Are we clear?” 

“Very… Very clear, Ma’am. I didn't mean to…”

“Talk to your boss? Great. I have a speech to give, so if you'll excuse me.”

And that was it.

Rebecca returned to the ballroom to give her speech, leaving the rest of us behind and stunned. 

David looked as if he had seen a ghost. He was unable to look away from his son, who was still struggling to tug his shirt back down.

Cody was furious and visibly affected which broke my heart, especially since he would not so much as look at me.

Laurie was just trying to hold it together.

I was still shaking.

Why had I confronted everyone so publicly!?

I could have easily waited until the end of the evening, but I just lost my temper and created a huge mess.

David slipped out first without another word. 

And then Laurie and Cody followed suit, leaving me with Victor and Zachary, rattled and agitated.

They were both disheveled, their faces red. 

“Seriously, guys? What the hell were you doing?”

“What does it look like we were doing, Andy?” Victor barked at me.

I noted that he was much more confident now that Rebecca was no longer in the room.

“Damn it, Victor, can’t you control your cock? You had to do that during the freaking gala?”

“We thought nobody would walk in here during the speeches. This room is private!”

“So, you run into each other again, and you just have to fuck? Can't you do that in your spare time?”

“Hey, you're the one who brought everyone in here, okay? We would have been fine without you going crazy. Besides, we do see each other in our spare time."

“What? You…you are?”

“Yes, but how is that any of your business exactly?”

I always thought Victor and Zach were just hooking up once, maybe a few times, but it seemed a little more serious than that now.

Looking at poor Zach, stunned and speechless, I felt bad and willed myself to calm down.

“You're right, it’s none of my business. I'm sorry. Zach, are you okay?”

“No…” He whispered.

I spontaneously walked to him and held his hand.

“This might be in the top five worst ways to come out, but at the same time, the bandage has been ripped off. Maybe that’s good.” I tried to comfort him.

“My mother really did that, then? The pictures.”

“It seems so. I’m sorry about that, too.”

“Well, it's not like my father is any better. I guess I just fit right into this family of screw-ups.”

I wanted to say something but Victor spoke first, pushing me away to hold Zach in his arms.

“Hey, Zach, you’re not a screw-up. You’re a good guy. A great person.”

I was so confused to see them like that, as if they were boyfriends.

In a way, it was much more intimate than fucking.

“I was just… I wish I wasn’t born in this freaking family. I don’t even want to talk to them. The coming out and shit, I don’t care about that.”

Zach was crying now.

Victor kissed his forehead.

“Andy is right. It may not be the best way to come out, but at least you won't really have to talk to your family. It's pretty clear you're into guys.” He chuckled.

“I'm not into guys. I'm into you.”

Victor smiled and suddenly I was the odd man out.

They even kissed. It was a huge step for them, going public, even if it had been forced upon them.

“Guys, I… I'll just see how the speeches go. Victor, you’re not going to say anything. Right?”

“About what? Your roommate cheating the system or your candidate being a dangerous political mastermind?”

“Hey, you’re talking about my mother!” 

“Sorry. Although… I mean, she is.”

Zach smiled through his tears.

“Yeah. She’s definitely crazy.”

We all laughed nervously.

“Don’t do that to Zach.” I told Victor.

“Stop it, Andy. You're not thinking about Zach; you're thinking about your campaign, your friend and, I bet, about David.”

“Okay, let's talk about the campaign then. Tell the public everything, and you let the clown win. I think I can hear him talking right now about how traditional families are the only way to move forward, and how we should eradicate deviant behaviors. How they should eradicate us.”

Victor rolled his eyes; he was still holding Zach.

“I'm going to quit, Andy. I made my decision today. You can cut the spiel.”

“Oh… I had no idea.”

“Zach and I have been talking. We kind of wanted to make it official and I wouldn’t have been able to keep my job. And like, I’m aware Broadhall’s going way too far anyway. It’s not only about Zach.”

“That's…that's the right thing to do.”

“Yeah, it is. Maybe you should stop worrying about us and start worrying about your own relationship.”

Victor hit the nail on the head with that one.

“I'm not worried about you guys. Sincerely, I hope it works out well, and Zach, again, I’m sorry about your family business and my involvement in it.”

“My parents are freaks. I’m aware of that. I don’t hold you responsible.”

“Well, that's big of you. I… I’m really going to go now.”

I left the room just as Rebecca began her speech, right after Broadhall.

As I mentioned, it was good; she was great. Unbothered.

I joined Laurie on the side of the immense ballroom as we listened.

“How are you?” She asked.

“I think I'm okay. I feel stupid for reacting that way.”

“Your reaction wasn’t that bad.”

“Laurie, don’t sugar coat it. How many people hate me for ruining the event?”

“Hate you? Are you serious? You threw a drink in the face of someone who works for the Daily Philly News. Everyone in here despises that paper. You’re like a hero to them.”

“Really? Andy White, a conservative avenger going after the liberal papers… That’s rich.”

“How did you find out about Rebecca leaking the pictures anyway?”

“In the silliest way. I just… I had one conversation with Victor. He hinted at it, and suddenly, it was like an epiphany. It all made sense, and I don't know; I couldn't help myself. I felt so betrayed by Rebecca and Adrian. I had to confront them. I may have gone a bit too hard…”

“He’s gone.”

“Adrian?”

“Yes, and Cody too.”

Laurie seemed stressed.

"Oh, fuck. I’m sorry about that, too.”

“What was that about? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Can you imagine what it would have been like for you if you had known? Besides, it was nothing. I wish Cody had never found out either.”

“He's pissed. He wouldn't even talk to me— which is very unfair, because I had nothing to do with any of it.”

“He’s probably just upset, but I'll tell him exactly that. He has no reason to be mad at you.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, I’m just tired of the drama but I understand you’re being put in these impossible positions. You’re not going to leave the team, are you?”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“I'm not sure about anything right now, and I don't want to make any decisions while I'm in this state.”

I looked at David standing behind Rebecca, looking gorgeous and supporting her.

They were indeed freaks, but they were better for the state, and the country, than Broadhall.

This had to be taken into consideration, especially at this point in the campaign.

I left the ballroom as soon as Rebecca was done with the speech, but I did not go back home right away.

I took a long walk by myself.

I needed to clear my head and think straight.

Who was I angry at, besides myself?

What did I really want?

I had not heard from Adrian.

I thought I might have ruined everything between us.

But even if that was not the case, did I still want anything to do with him?

He posted those leaked pictures in the first place and then lied to me and harassed me to get an interview. I thought I had moved on from that, but I was not so sure anymore.

And then, there was the continuous lie about Rebecca.

Fuck our “separation between work and personal life” rule! 

Adrian should have told me that my boss was responsible for the front page story that had shaken up my entire life.

Right?

Was it not the bare minimum?

I now understood why he was so adamant about showing me that Rebecca was a bad person— he knew more than I did about her.

In a way, though, I understood her better than I understood Adrian.

At least Rebecca was not pretending to be morally perfect.

She had a goal, and she was doing everything she could to reach it. She had always been upfront about that.

I returned home well after midnight, and Cody was in his room.

I hesitated for a moment, but ended up softly knocking on his door and whispering.

“Cody, are you awake? Do you want to talk?”

If there was anything I was certain about, it was that I wanted to mend our relationship.

There was no response at first, so I did not insist. However, as I was walking to the bathroom, I heard him.

“You can come in, Andy.”

Phew!

At least the conversation was open.

I slowly opened the door, and he turned on the bedside lamp.

“Hi, Cody. I just thought we should talk. I don't want to leave things to rot.”

“No, you’re right.”

Cody sat up in bed.

He was shirtless and I would soon learn that he was not wearing anything underneath either.

“I just want to explain how it happened, and…” 

I trailed off, staring down at the floor.

“Don’t worry, I’m listening; I don’t want to be a jerk. Again.”

I smiled faintly.

“Thanks.”

I sat down on the bed and mindlessly put my hand on his leg under the covers.

“Oh! Careful, though. I’m naked down there.”

“Oops, sorry."

We both laughed. That was a great way to break the ice.

“Look, I shouldn't have left like that. I was angry. I talked crap to Laurie, which I definitely shouldn't have done. It just hurt that it was all fake.”

“What? No… Nothing was fake.”

“I shouldn't have gotten my scholarship, my degree, or my job. It was all given to me because some guy is in love with you, Andy. That’s crazy.”

“Cody, you can’t say things like that. Please. David didn't hand you the scholarship; he only endorsed your application, and that had nothing to do with me. I did ask him, but he read your application and thought you deserved the backing. As for your exams, man, it was just one point. I’m not sure how it went, but you know, sometimes a jury has to deliberate, and if anyone deserved this degree, it was you! You worked your ass off. You had multiple jobs. You sacrificed a lot just to take that fucking exam.”

“But I still missed my shot. Whether by one point or more, I failed! I’m a failure!”

I grabbed his face.

“You're not! Can't you see that you're the best? Cody! There are a lot of awful people around us, and you’re definitely not one of them. You’re probably the sanest person I’ve met since moving here. Clearly, you're saner than I am! I keep messing up, but you don't. You're hardworking, and you're… Well, Cody, I love you. You're my best friend and such a freaking good person, it’s ridiculous. I can't let you talk so badly about yourself.”

He let a tear fall onto my thumb on his cheek.

“I don't know. I guess I'm gonna need some time…”

“Do you hate me? Do you need some time off from me?”

“Of course not. If anything, I should thank you. Who am I kidding? When I got the scholarship, I knew what was going on between you and David. And more crucially, I knew it was thanks to you that I could even apply for the job in the first place. You gave me my career."

“I really didn't. Look, Cody, the world is full of cheaters, and nothing is fair. Elections aren’t won by the best or smartest candidates. Good people don’t always get what they deserve. Sneaky people always seem to have a head start. And don't even get me started on the money and how it always ends up in the same hands. You shouldn't feel ashamed about getting where you are in a rigged system that was set up against you in the first place.”

He chuckled.

“Are you sure you're not a Republican now?”

“No! Everyone has to stop with that. I’ve never been one, and I’m still not. I'm just working for a republican candidate.”

Cody smiled. 

Good, he seemed to feel better.

“So, you’re still working for her?”

“I don’t know.”

“And are you still dating Adrian?”

I rolled my eyes.

“I don't know that, either.”

“Come here.”

Cody pulled me into his arms, and I rested my head on his chest.

“See, I'm the mess. Not you.”

“I won't deny that you're a mess, Andy. But I think you’re a good guy, too. You just make poor choices sometimes.”

“What would the right choice be right now?”

“Do you want to know what I really think?”

“Yes, I actually do!”

“I think you’re trying too hard. You overthink, and you’re not listening enough to your instincts. Stop worrying about what others might think or what the most logical, reasonable thing to do is. Start thinking about what you really want and what your gut tells you to do.”

It was my turn to cry.

At least my roommate’s pecs were comfy.

“How do you get to the point where you know what you want, though?”

“That’s the real question. The hard part is to know what would be truly fulfilling for you.”

“Yes… Always.”

We stayed like this for a little while, and my anxiety calmed with the soft rhythm of his breath.

“How was Laurie after I left?” He ended up asking.

“She was okay. She said you were angry but she’ll be fine.

“Yeah… I was a dick. I understand now why we broke up in May. I think it was even necessary, in a way. I can see the pattern. I feel stressed and bad, and I take it out on the people I love by being moody and bitter.”

“Then you've already made it halfway to correcting the problem.”

“Yes, I'll apologize to Laurie, and I'll watch myself.”

“See? A great guy.”

He laughed, the movement of his chest swaying my body along with him.

“You know I love you too, man. You’re my best friend.”

This felt so good to hear.

More than that, it was exactly what I needed.

“Mr. Mars really created something when he put this apartment up for rent.”

“Yeah, I can’t believe I didn’t want a roommate.”

“I can’t believe you tried to kill me when I first walked inside this apartment.”

“Those were the good old days!”

“Seriously, Cody, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Hey, man, are you getting hard and humping my thigh or what?”

That kind of broke the moment.

“Huh? Idiot! That’s my phone buzzing!”

“I'm kidding. Who is it, Adrian?”

“No, David. He wants to see me tomorrow.” I spoke.

“And here we go again!”

“Fucking Hell… What does he have to tell me?”

*

I agreed to see David the next day, but first things first— I had to talk with my boyfriend.

I texted him very late that night.

Adrian was awake and agreed that I should stop by his place in the morning.

There were no sweet words or any kind of intimacy in our messages. 

I was not even sure what I would say, but I guess I would have to trust my gut in the moment.

Stop overthinking.

That was easier said than done, though.

I did not sleep well, but when I left the apartment, Laurie was in Cody’s room, which was a hopeful sign of reconciliation. 

I was not too worried about them; they had grown closer, and things seemed to be going well between them since the summer. 

If anything, their evolution showed me just how bad my relationships were.

Somehow, I knew where I stood when I knocked on Adrian’s door.

The way he opened the door made it clear where he stood as well.

“Hey…”

No smile, no anything.

“Hey, Adrian.”

We did not kiss.

“Come on in. Let's have that talk. I'd offer you a drink, but that might be dangerous for me.”

I found myself amused, albeit slightly uneasy, by the allusion to my proclivity for hurling beverages in his direction. 

“Good one. I'm sorry about that.”

“Don't be. I deserved it. Well, sort of.”

“You didn't. I mean, not like this. We could have had a conversation. I should have been more mature about it.”

“What would be the fun in that?” He said ironically.

I let out a long sigh.

The time had come. 

“Adrian, I really like you, and the sex— goddamn it— it’s great. I’ve loved spending this summer with you. Discovering new things with you— and I don't just mean sexually…”

He cut me off. “But?”

He was probably right. Why make this moment last longer than it should?

“But you know… Your job, my job. The lies. The conflict of interest.”

“I couldn't tell you about Rebecca.”

“The thing is, I think you could have, but we’ve both been prioritizing our work over this relationship.”

There was a heavy silence after that.

“I suppose you’re right about that.”

“Adrian, it’s not just that.”

“Listen, Andy. Ever since I met you because of this stupid article, I've had feelings for you. Yes, even during that first night at the bar. I immediately felt something, however stupid or cheesy that sounds.But it may have been a mistake to entertain this, because we both care a lot about our jobs.”

“Honestly, I don’t want to break up with you because of our jobs. I’m not even sure I’ll be going to the office on Monday morning.”

“So, you want to break up with me because…?”

“Because, even though I'm not sure I believe in true love that lasts forever, I do want to try to find something real that might last, and I don’t think our relationship is evolving in that direction.”

“You don’t love me.”

“Because you do?”

He looked out his window.

“Frankly, I don't know.”

“Adrian, if we were in love, we wouldn’t even question putting us before our jobs. This wouldn’t be a discussion.”

“Again… Fair point.”

“I don't regret it, though. I don't think our relationship was a mistake.”

He nodded.

“It wasn't. It just wasn’t meant to last.”

I looked at him, he seemed on the verge of breaking down.

Having a boyfriend was all fun and games but this part— damn, it was so difficult, and so painful.

“I… I guess I should go.”

He nodded once again and turned his eyes back toward me.

“Maybe it’s not my place, but I just want to say it. Be careful about the people you're working with. What Rebecca did with the pictures wasn’t harmless or insignificant. Broadhall is scary, sure, but when someone does things like that— betraying her own husband— you have to question their character.”

“I know. Politics is a rotten world.”

“It is. I think you’re too pure for it, Andy.”

“Sadly, I’m starting to realize that I might be fooling myself, thinking that I’m better than them.”

“Being naïve can be a positive quality. Please, don’t turn into them.”

“I’ll try… Take care, Adrian.”

“Take care, Andy.”

We hugged goodbye, one last time.