Ch: 47
Added 2020-08-31 05:47:28 +0000 UTC
“You guys know the plan, right?” I whisper to master and Ronald. Leaning around the tree I’m hiding behind; I use Sense Mana to confirm the chameleon spider hasn’t moved.
"We're ready to cover you," Master says from a tree to my left. I look to my right at Ronald, and he gives me a nod of confirmation.
Here goes nothing.
I stealthily make my way closer to the hidden magic beast. This would be incredibly dangerous by myself, but with master and Ronald watching my back, I can test Sense Soul on a magical beast without worrying about being eaten.
I move just close enough to see the spider's body without entering into its striking range. Over the past 12 days, I've tested Sense Soul on master twice and secretly scanned a handful of people in the village, making sure I only look at the outer parts of their souls. I started calling the scanning of the outer part of a soul a casual scan while looking into the soul's center is regarded as a deep scan.
When this spider was spotted by the hunters yesterday, I hatched this plan with master and Ronald to see what happens when I use the skill on something other than a human.
I activate Sense Soul and focus on the central part of the spider's body. The first thing I'm going to test is how the creature reacts to a casual scan.
As the wisps surrounding the spider's soul become visible, the magic beast starts to freak out. The camouflage on the carapace fades away, and the massive spider starts shifting in place and slamming itself into the nearby trees.
I activate Flash Step and jump back next to Del and Ronald.
The spider starts to screech as I continue to look at the outer parts of its soul. Judging by the amount of experience around its soul, I can estimate its level is around 77 if monsters level the same way humans do. That’s a lower level than I initially thought it would be, is this one just weaker than the others we’ve fought so far?
The spider finally notices us and madly charges. People usually feel like they’re being watched; I guess a spider that spends most of its time invisible doesn't care for that kind of feeling.
I drop Sense Soul and draw my sword, getting ready for part two of our operation.
Ronald quickly fires three arrows at the spider’s joints while master and I rush forward towards its two front legs. I activate Weighted Strike and swing my katana with my 130 points of Strength. For the first time, my sword cleanly slices through a chameleon spider’s limb.
I dodge another leg coming from my left by using Double Step to move backwards. Master, being the powerhouse he is, severs the limb he was aiming for and steps forward, cutting off a second leg before he has to dodge the flailing spider.
The three of us move as a fine-tuned machine and dismember the spider one leg at a time. We've developed a sort of rhythm after hunting so many of these beasts. We usually focus on removing the five legs on one side of the monster before concentrating on the main body that can't move after half its limbs are removed.
This time is different. We remove the five legs as usual, but then we add insult to its injuries and remove the other five, leaving the body's central part to bleed out in the snow.
It may be cruel, but this is the safest way to deep scan the magic beast. I can't look at the center of its soul during a battle because the beast might try to flee, and the eyes might incapacitate me if the soul of the spider acts like a human’s.
I sheath my sword and sit down on the snow-covered forest floor. Ronald and Master Del stand behind me, ready to guard my body if something should go wrong.
I reactivate Sense Soul and once again look at the spider's soul. The floundering body of the spider starts twitching, and its screams become more frantic. I only hesitate for a moment before I go from a casual scan of its soul to a deep scan.
I quickly take note of its soul's size before the two eyes appear and immediately shatter my focus on the creature. I'm ready for the backlash this time.
I can fight off the searing headache enough that my Mana Skin skill doesn't collapse on me. I still have to grind my teeth together to prevent myself from screaming out in pain.
Unlike when I looked at master’s, only two eyes are guarding the spider's soul. The poor limbless creature lets out a new kind of scream we’ve never heard before. The sound isn't one of anger or pain like we've listened to in the past.
No, this is a scream of fear.
A fear that goes beyond the fear of death.
I once more try to look at the core of the chameleon spider's soul. I pushed through the pain and look at the soul guarded by the eyes. I prepare for them to reject me again, but the pain never comes.
The two eyes suddenly turn towards the center of the spider’s soul and blink.
Their blink only lasts a tenth of a second, but a deep wave of primal fear overcomes my body in that second. As soon as the eyes blinked, the soul inside the spider disappears. The body of the spider stops twitching and lays before us dead. The two eyes look back at me one last time before vanishing themselves.
Is that what happens when something dies? The eyes that guard the soul take it somewhere, or do they devour it?
Before I can start to panic, something else happens inside the body of the spider. The chameleon spider looks like it’s starting to steam.
I look at master and Ronald, hoping to ask if they also see what’s happening. Only when I look at them, I see their souls. I still have Sense Soul activated!
I quickly look away before I suffer another backlash. Looking back at the dead spider, I watch what I now realize is the wisps formerly surrounding the spider’s soul diffuse into the surroundings.
Most of the wisps of experience seem to vanish quickly, but three streams flow towards us, passing through trees into our chests.
I watch dumbfounded as a part of the experience that used to belong to the spider merges with my own soul space.
Is that how everything gains experience when they kill other creatures?
Del and my parents always told me people gain experience from battle because of the effort they put into the fight. I'm not sure how much effort plays a part in the amount of experience I get from killing something, but now I know experience comes directly from whatever you killed.
Another important fact I learned was that most of the experience from killing something is lost to the surrounding area when the soul leaves the body.
I feel like I just witnessed something important! We take in a part of the soul of whatever we kill.
“Are you ok, Aaliyah?” I quickly jerk my head towards master. He takes a half step back and looks at me concerned.
His worried look knocks some sense into me. I’m suddenly aware of the radiating pain in my head and the fact I’m covered in sweat. I blink my eyes, aware that my eyes were wide open in shock the whole time I observed the spider’s death.
"I need time," I whisper through my clenched teeth.
“Ok, rest up while Ronald and I start processing the spider.” Master and Ronald move to start dismantling the spider while I wait here and recover.
When the headache recedes enough for me to contemplate what happened, I remember only two eyes appeared. Does that mean master's soul is somehow different from mine and the spider's?
I'll need to perform another deep scan on someone else to be sure of the difference.
I cross my legs underneath me and enter a meditative state. I need to digest everything that just happened.
**********
“I’m home!” I shout as I burst through our front door.
“Ahyt ls weem appiss!”
I activate my cleaning spell and shut off Mana Skin.
I quickly notice my mother sitting in her chair, sewing a pair of father’s pants.
She looks up at me and smiles. “You’re back, already? I thought the chameleon spider spotted was miles away from the village?”
I brush off a few of the remaining dirt flakes leftover from my spell. "We finished pretty quickly. The spiders aren't a challenge for us anymore. The only reason it took us this long to get back was that it took longer than usual to butcher the beast and haul everything back.”
"Did you let your father know you're safely back in the village?”
I kick off my boots and change into my slippers. "I stopped on the way home to see how he's doing. At the rate the deforestation crew is working, there won't be any trees left in sight of our village.” I joke to mother.
“I noticed yesterday when I went to visit Sarette, now that your father is in charge of removing the surrounding trees that might just happen. They’ve cleared nearly 100 feet around the entire village.” Mother tells me offhandedly.
"I know what you mean. I've never seen the village this active during winter before." I walk over to mother and hug her.
She’s momentarily caught off guard by the action but embraces me the same way. As we separate, she gives me a questioning look. “Did something happen on your hunt?”
“Can’t a hug just be a hug?” I try to give her an offended look.
She quirks an eyebrow at me. “Alright, fine. You don't need to give me that look." I sigh in defeat. "I tried using a different skill on the spider than I usually do," I tell her.
“Did it not work, or did something go wrong?” She asks.
“Not necessarily. The skill answered questions I never thought about before and left me with new ones I’m not sure how to solve.” I tell her my dilemma without revealing what skill I’m talking about. Master said I should avoid mentioning the particulars of Sense Soul to anyone, including my parents.
“What does the skill do?” Mother questions me.
'It's a skill that lets me judge somebody's level." I lie by telling a partial truth. "The problem is every time I use it on someone, they feel like they’re being watched, and they feel outright fear if I focus on them too deeply. If that wasn’t bad enough, for me to use the skill to its full potential, I would suffer a backlash in the form of a splitting headache." I explain our fight with the spider earlier.
“And who else have you used the skill on?” Mother sends me a reproaching look.
“Why does that matter?” I feign ignorance.
“Well, there’s been rumors around the village of people suddenly feeling like they’re being watched. Does that sound familiar to you?”
“I may have briefly practiced my skill on a few people." I try to downplay what I did.
“Over thirty people swear they were being watched this last week. Sarette told me her husband promised to look into the matter.” Mother crosses her arms.
Damn! That’s what I get for practicing my skill in a small village like ours.
Mother notices my dejected look and sighs. “I’ll let the headman know it was you testing out one of your skills when I visit Sarette tomorrow. He'll reassure people the feeling was all in their heads, but you need to stop testing your skill on our neighbors. People are still worried about the spiders, and feeling like something is watching them is not helping." Mother quickly comes up with a solution to my problems.
“Thanks for the help, mom.” I still feel down after thanking her.
"When you thank me with that look on your face, it doesn't feel sincere."
"Sorry, I'm thankful for your solution, but that still leaves me with the problem of practicing my skill."
“Have you only practiced it on the villagers and the spider this morning?” Mother asks me.
“Master Del has let me use it on him a few times, but as I said, people become paranoid and afraid when I use the skill too much. Master and I decided I would only use the skill on him once a week, and I have to wait at least five days before I use it on him again."
“And why does it only have to be Del you use your skill on?” Mother gives me a challenging look.
“It’s not like I haven’t thought about asking you and dad.” I can see where this is going.
“So why haven’t you asked us for our help?”
I turn my head to the side, refusing to look mother in the eye. "It's just that master has a really high level, and even he was disturbed by my skills effects. The first time he helped me practice, he wouldn't look at me for hours after using it on him. I don’t think I could handle seeing you or dad be that scared of me.”
Mother closes the gap between us and gives me another hug. “Silly girl, we could never be afraid of you. When your father gets home, and after we've had dinner, we can help you practice your skill."
“Ok,” I mumble in her arms.
“How long has it been since you practiced your Sewing skill?” She asks while I’m still trapped in her arms.
I choose to plead the fifth. My silence says everything she needs to know. "Come help me stitch up your father's shirts; he's so busy he's been ripping them every other day." Mother practically drags me over to her work station.
I can craft a sewing needle if I have to, but ask me to use one, and I’m all thumbs.
**********
I helped mother stitch up father's clothes and helped her with dinner before father came home for the night.
We chatted about our day during dinner, and father agreed with mother that I should ask them for help more often. I tried to steer the question towards Kervin arriving any day now with the magic items I ordered, but neither was falling for it.
Now the three of us are sitting on our living room floor on top of an old blanket.
“Are you sure you guys want to do this?” I hesitantly ask my parents again.
“What, you think your old man can’t handle an intimidation skill?” Father boasts.
“Fine,” I give in to them. “Who wants to go first?” I look back and forth between mother and father.
Mother gives dad a look and tries to egg him on. “Go on, Darrius. Show her you can handle it.”
Mother knows what's going to happen. I tried to warn father about what it will feel like during dinner, but he cut me off, saying he can handle anything I can throw at him.
Father straightens his back and looks me in the eyes. “I’m ready, bring it on!”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I activate Sense Soul.
As soon as I look at the outer parts of father's soul, his confident expression vanishes. A side glance at mother reveals she's surprised how quickly father looks uncomfortable.
I can see by the amount of experience around his soul he’s around level 42. I’m not surprised by his level; he’s been working incredibly hard this year and did a lot during the goblin extermination.
Usually, people look around, searching for whoever is watching them. Because father was already staring into my eyes, he knows where the feeling is coming from.
“Is this what you were worried about?" Father pretends that he isn't feeling uncomfortable. "I guess that makes me better than Del, then!" He boasts.
I hope he can say that after what happens next.
I take a second to prepare myself mentally for what's about to happen, and it's not just the eyes I'm worried about.
I look at the center of father's soul, and everything changes. His fake bravado immediately shatters as he tries to stumble to his feet to get away from me.
It only takes a few seconds for my father to make it to the other side of the room, and I'm lying on my side, trying to endure the two eyes that kicked me out of his soul.
Mother looks scared and keeps looking between me lying on the floor and father breathing heavily across the room, trying to decide who she should go to.
“I’m… ok…” I hiss through my teeth.
Once mother hears me, she moves over to comfort father who’s shivering in place.
It takes ten minutes for her to coax him back over to our blanket and for me to recover enough to sit back up.
"That's what I was worried about." I solemnly say.
Father looks at me for a moment before hanging his head in shame. “That was worse than I thought it would be. The first part was unnerving but bearable. Whatever happened at the end, there had all my instincts telling me to flee. You said it was a skill that let you estimate someone's level?” He looks directly at me without any fear in his eyes.
I’m about to cry.
Father is still shivering slightly, but he sees my teary eyes and looks concerned. "What's wrong!? Are you still hurt?"
“I’m just happy,” I mumble. “Master couldn’t look at me for hours after I first used the skill on him.”
Dad leans over and gives me a hug. “Your skill might have frightened me, but I would never be afraid of you."
"Thanks, dad." We embrace each other until my headache fades away, and father stops shaking. "I think its time for bed." I let go of my father and start to get up.
“Where do you think you’re going.” Mother’s voice stops me in my tracks.
I give her a confused look. “Don’t you think that was enough for today?”
“It’s my turn next.” The serious look on her face throws me for a loop.
“After you saw what happened to dad, you still want me to use my skill on you?”
“I told you earlier today that both of us will help you with your skill. Are you trying to make me a liar?” She narrows her eyes at me.
“Alright, if you insist.” I give in to mother’s request and sit back down.
I re-center myself; this will be the first time I've performed two deep scans back to back.
I use sense Soul on mother, and I’m surprised to see she doesn’t look that uncomfortable when I look at the outer part of her soul. If she isn't reacting as bad as father and Del, I'll move straight onto the deep scan.
As usual, I only get a second to look at my mother's soul before the two eyes appear yet again and sear my brain. I deactivate the skill and notice mother isn't running across the room to get away from me.
She’s amazingly still seated in front of me. She’s pale, but she still has her motherly smile plastered across her face. Father and I both look at her in astonishment. I must have leveled Mental Resistance because the pain is fading quicker this time.
Mother wipes at her face as a single bead of sweat drips from her forehead. "That was pretty bad," She remarks.
“How were you able to resist the urge to run away?” I hastily ask through my lessening headache.
Mother ponders my question. “Well, I expected the worst after I watched how your father reacted, so I prepared myself. It was bad, but not the worst thing I've ever felt. Giving birth to you and your brother was much more painful, and it lasted a lot longer. Also, every time I level, I put a few points into my Mind stat. I bet that helps counteract the effect your skill has on me.” Mother’s explanation gives me a lot to think about.
Mother scoots right next to me. 'So, did your skill work? Can you tell me what our levels are?"
I smile at mom. “You’re level 38, while father is level 42.” I look between them.
Mother looks astonished. "Your skill doesn't give you an estimate of our level, but the exact number! Skills like that are scarce."
“It’s hard to explain. I don’t technically see your level; I see your experience.” I tell them. “After comparing your experience with myself, master, Ronald, and the people I've secretly observed around the village, I can accurately guess your level. Most of the adults I've looked at are around level 35. Compared to the other villagers, you guys are strong.” I proudly tell them.
“Of course, we are!” Father exclaims.
"Not so loud, dear. It's late, and you and Aaliyah said you have lots of work tomorrow. Help me fold the blanket, and let's get to bed." Mother reprimands dad for his shouting.
We quickly straighten up and retire to our rooms.
In bed, I think about everything I've learned about souls these last couple of days.
First, the wisps surrounding the soul are the manifestations of experience and the place our skills are housed. Looking at that outer part of the soul doesn’t seem to anger the eyes guarding the soul. Considering how I’ve seen other people’s skills affect my soul, the outer part is very malleable and susceptible to influence.
It’s the center of people’s souls that remains a mystery. After examining myself, Del, and my parents' soul center, then comparing it to the chameleon spider, I've come to one conclusion.
My soul is abnormally large.
My soul is almost three times the sizes of master’s and his is bigger than mother and fathers by 65%. I can't say every soul is different because mother and father’s souls are very similar in size. Father's may be a tiny bit bigger, but I'm not sure if that's because he's slightly older than mother or if other factors come into play. The chameleon spider’s soul was the smallest at only half the size of father’s soul.
I'll need to look at a child's soul if I want to get another baseline to compare what I've seen, but I don’t want to scar a child with my skill.
I raise a hand to stifle a yawn. I need to check my status page before I go to sleep.
LV: 63 Experience: 188,119/ 514,704
Health: 2,090/2,090
Stamina: 1,072.33/1,403
Mana: 351.87/1,000
Vitality: 209.00
Endurance: 80.13
Strength: 132.00
Dexterity: 125.00
Senses: 60.56
Mind: 62.72
Magic: 100.89
Clarity: 75.71
Status Points: 0
Skills:
Tier 1:
Meditation (LV78), Running (LV73), Blacksmithing (LV65), Axe Skills (LV55), Hammer Skills (LV54), Cleaning (LV50), Mining (LV48), Chanting (LV47), Drawing (LV44), Cooking (LV38), Trading (LV37), Dagger Skills (LV31), Acting (LV30), Wood Carving (LV29), Sword Skills(LV25), Sewing (LV24), Pugilist Skills (LV4), Spear Skills (LV2)
Tier 2:
Sense Mana (LV78), Double Step (LV59), Charm (LV50), Measurement (LV45), Hammer Arts (LV38), Axe Arts (LV36), Writing (LV32), Intimidating Shout (LV31), Mathematics (LV30), Increase price (LV16), Lower Price (LV15), Dagger Arts (LV12), Sword Arts (LV8), Steady Hands (LV7), Marching (LV5), Gourmet (LV2), Shout of Valor (LV1),
Tier 3:
Expel Mana (LV59), Mana Manipulation (LV52), Precise Strike (LV35), Double Strike (LV34), Weighted Strike (LV24), Flash Step (LV17)
Tier 4:
Inject mana (LV48), Mana Skin (LV47), Mental Resistance (LV45), Extract Mana (LV26), Magic Blacksmithing (LV19)
Tier 5:
Sense Soul (LV32)
Increased Skill Levels
Blacksmithing (LV 62-65) 12,700exp
Hammer Skills (LV 53-54) 5,350exp
Mining (LV48) 2,400exp
Drawing (LV43-44) 4,350exp
Cooking (LV38) 1,900exp
Wood Carving (LV28-29) 2,850exp
Double Step (LV59) 5,900exp
Measurement (LV44-45) 8,900exp
Steady Hands (LV1-7) 2,800exp
Hammer Arts (LV37-38) 7,500exp
Expel Mana (LV59) 8,850exp
Double Strike (LV34) 5,100exp
Precise Strike (LV34-35) 10,350exp
Weighted Strike (LV24) 3,600exp
Flash Step (LV17) 2,550exp
Inject mana (LV47-48) 23,750exp
Mana Skin (LV47) 11,750exp
Mental Resistance (LV43-45) 33,000exp
Extract Mana (LV25-26) 12,750exp
Magic Blacksmithing (LV18-19) 9,250exp
Sense Soul (LV32) 16,000exp
Skill Experience: 191,600exp
Crafting Experience: 62,812exp
Fighting Experience: 3,719exp
Total experience Gained: 258,131exp
As soon as I saw that I leveled again, I distribute my status points. 5 points into Dexterity, 3 into Vitality, and 2 into Strength. I’ve noticed how Dexterity has become more important since I started practicing engraving and crafting the arrows Kervin ordered.
I also gained a new tier two skill, Steady Hands. It’s a passive skill, but it's helped not only with my wood carving and Drawing skills but also with my blacksmithing.
My mental fatigue is getting to me. I think tonight I won't go into my soul and instead try to get a good night's sleep for tomorrow. I only have two more days to finish everything before Kervin arrives.
I peacefully slip into unconsciousness.
**********
I roll out of bed and shake the soreness from my limbs. Master and I have been running ourselves ragged the last two days, making sure everything is finished and packed in our cart for Kervin’s arrival today.
I throw on my clothes and put up my hair.
I make sure to kiss mom goodbye before I make my way outside.
I perform my morning stretches and watch the villagers carry crates of food over to the headman’s house. Kervin returned precisely two weeks after he sent me the letter. He’s never kept to this tight of a schedule before; I wonder if something is wrong?
I perform my usual loop around the village to make sure nothing is hiding in the trees.
I stop near our village's entrance, not to watch everyone unloading Kervin’s cart, but to stare into the trees at a spot that has suspiciously little mana. It almost looks like a small section of the forest is repelling mana away from it.
I take a mental note of the spot and run to Del’s house to get the cart we prepped yesterday.
I quickly make it to Del’s place and start pushing the cart to Kervin’s campsite. While I’m pushing the cart through the path that leads towards the village, I stop once again when I spot another area that's also repelling the mana away from it. I stare in its direction and estimate the place to be only five feet in diameter.
Whatever's in the mana-less area, hopefully, I can use it to craft something.
As I exit the pathway leading towards Del’s house, I pass by the area; I previously noted the unexplained mana phenomena. The site looks normal now, did whatever caused the phenomena move closer to Del’s house?
I debate whether I should inspect it now before it moves again, but Kervin’s cart looks almost empty, and I can't wait to see what he brought me.
I wait for the nearby villagers to leave before I pushed my cart next to Kervin’s. “Where’s the fire?” I ask him.
He looks at me, confused. "Fire, what fire?"
“I mean you came back to our village really fast this time, I assumed something must be wrong," I smirk at him.
“Funny,” he dryly states. “You have my order ready, right.” He sends me a hopeful look.
He’s just asking for it now. “What order?” I use all my acting ability to feign ignorance.
He quickly pales and starts to sweat. “Did you not get my letter?! I paid for a courier falcon to deliver it!”
Whoa, I wasn’t prepared for his panicked reaction. I quickly raise my arms and try to calm him down. “Chill, man. I was just joking with you; I got your message two weeks ago. I have the arrows you ordered in my cart.”
I expect him to be mad at my joke, but instead of anger, it's relief that washes over his face. He forces a laugh, "That's a good one. You had me going there."
Was master, right? Is he in trouble with someone? "Is everything ok, Kervin?” I ask him.
He suddenly becomes aware of himself at my question and quickly straightens himself up. "Everything's fine. It's just that I received a request from the army, and it's a big opportunity for me. Even headquarters is keeping an eye on me now. They told me to focus on getting anything the army asks for, so now I have a lot more freedom to move as I wish.” He gives me his merchant smile.
“What does that mean for me and the village?” I ask.
"Don't worry; I'm doing my best to keep your existence hidden. I commissioned arrows from multiple blacksmiths in Drey to cover up where I’m getting my supply from. I told Silver Herd about how much money I'm making delivering the food here each month, so they agreed to let me continue my route here as long as it doesn’t affect my trading with the army." I don't know what it is, but something is irking me about what he's saying.
I pretend not to be suspicious and ask him what he brought me. “You have some magical tools for me, right?” It’s not hard to fake a huge smile.
“I bought five different items with the coin you gave me.” He moves over to a crate he has sitting next to his cart with its lid leaning up against it.
He reaches in and pulls out the first item. "This is a firebox. You put magicite inside of it, and it produces a strong flame on the top to cook with." A portable stove for the rich, at least it probably has a fire rune on the inside.
He sets the metal box off to the side and pulls out the next item. "Here, I have a water purifier." It looks like an hourglass made out of metal welded on top of another metal box; I'm seeing a trend here. "You pour water in the top, add magicite into the bottom, then hold your waterskin down by this nozzle in the middle, and you have clean drinking water." I'll have to be careful with that one; we can use that in our home.
Kervin places it next to the firebox and picks up the next item… and it’s another box. Kervin notices the disappointed look on my face. "I know they don't look like much, but keep an open mind. If you want better magical items, you need to spend a lot more money. This is a cold box, you place it in a small room or carriage, put your magicite in, and it chills the air on hot days.” I feel like I’m watching a bad infomercial.
Seeing that I’m unimpressed, he moves onto the fourth item. Is that a knife stuck in a box?
"This is the fourth and fifth item together." He pulls on the knife handle sticking out of the box. The knife looks basic, but using Sense Mana; I can see the runes hidden on its surface.
"This kitchen knife is enchanted to stay sharper longer; I thought this would be the most appealing to you." .He picks up a twig sticking out of the snow and cleanly cuts through it with the knife.
“And the box?” I question.
"Not everyone is blessed with your magic talent. Items that recharge magic by themselves are expensive. This box uses magicite to charge any knife you can fit into its opening. The box allows restaurants with higher-level chefs to use magical items for a short time without needing any magical talent."
None of the items are too awe-inspiring, but Kervin did an excellent job getting me a good variety. It doesn't matter if some of the runes inside the items overlap, that will just help me see how universal they are.
"What do you think about everything?" Kervin probes.
"Not bad," I say. "I'm not going to lie; I thought magical items would be more impressive. But like you said, in my price range, I shouldn't have expected too much."
"If you want a better magical item, next time, I can use all your coin to purchase the best item I can find." He offers.
"That's ok, there's something more important I need help with. Have you heard of Eathrosse and Deli’s Poke?”
“I’d be a terrible merchant if I haven’t. What do you need them for?”
He doesn't know? "They’re both ingredients to make engraving ink. I need help finding information about them along with purchasing some more mithril.”
“Sure, how many bundles do you need? I’ll get you anything you want.” He cheerfully replies.
“What?” I freeze in place. How’s he so confident he can get me those items? Mother told me that the merchant companies monitor the sale of those herbs so the country officials can monitor enchanters. Since when does he have the clout to guarantee me that he can get them!
“What’s wrong, Miss Aaliyah? They may be expensive, but I’m sure I can get them for you.” He doesn’t realize what he’s telling me. He’s a traveling merchant out in the middle of nowhere, how does he have the connections to buy them for me?
“Did you tell someone about me," I ask, not concealing the malice in my voice.
His two guards move up to his side and pull him away from me while drawing their swords.
“I don’t know what you mean?” He lies straight to my face.
I infuse Intimidating shout into my voice while using Sense Soul on the three of them. “A merchant of your caliber shouldn’t be able to get Eathrosse or Devil’s Poke, not unless it’s through a black market. I never expected you to buy them for me. I wanted your help in finding out where they grow in the wild or any other useful information. You would need to explain to Silver Herd who it’s for if you were getting it from them. So, I’ll ask one more time Kervin. Who did you tell about me?”
I place my hand on my katana while looking at their souls. His two bodyguards are level 57 and 59. Kervin is surprisingly, level 54. His bodyguards already have their swords drawn; it would be difficult if I had to fight all three of them at once. I'll have to break our contract later.
My skills must have been working because the three of them look terrified of me. If they attack, I’ll deep scan their souls, that should have them running for the hills.
“Please wait!” Kervin steps forward, not looking as perturbed as his guards. Being a merchant, he must have a high Mind stat. “Give me a chance to explain! There’s no need for us to fight.”
I deactivate Sense Soul for a moment. “Your men drew their swords first. I only defended myself.” I look from Kervin to his two bodyguards. I need them to think I'm stronger than I am. "You two may be level 57 and 59, but that doesn't mean anything to me. Are you going to attack me or put your weapons away?" I offer them an ultimatum, ready to use Sense Soul if they choose wrongly.
Kervin turns his back to me. “Sheath your swords now. You know how important she is.” On Kervin’s order, the two of them finally put their weapons away.
“Why don’t we all sit down and I’ll explain everything.” Kervin motions over to the fire at their campsite.
I sit across from the three of them, ready to use Flash Step to gain some distance if they try anything funny.
“Last month after I stopped here, we went to Drey…” I listen to Kervin’s story of what happened to him this last month.
**********
“After I settled everything in Drey and loaded up my goods, I came back here." Kervin finishes recounting his tale.
We spend a minute in silence while I digest what I was just told.
"So," I sigh. "Not only is your boss aware of master and me, but a general with a power level of over 9,000 is interested in me." I clarify with Kervin.
"I don't know what a power level is, but yes, both of them showed an interest in your goods," Kervin confirms.
This changes a lot; I rub my eyes with my hands. People might come looking for me soon. I wish I could be mad at Kervin, but he’s in almost as bad a spot as I am.
I look up at Kervin, who's nervously waiting for me to speak. If I tell him to get lost, his company will most certainly send someone else.
“I’ll sell you what I have today.” Kervin looks like I just saved his life. “But tomorrow," I cut short his enthusiasm. "We need to renegotiate our contract after I talk to my master and family."
He gives me a sorrowful look. "I completely understand, but I don't have the skill level to adjust our contract, and I can't form another one with you right after I break the first one. I can get someone from the company to come with me next month if you would like?" He offers.
I give him a callous look. “It should be fine if I do it then, I’ll sever our contract tonight. We’ll make a fresh one tomorrow.”
“You can do that!” He looks at me in disbelief. “So, any contract we make…?” It’s left unsaid that a contract between us is solely for my benefit.
“Do you have a problem?” I ask.
“No,” he hangs his head in defeat.
“Good, now on to how much I want for my spears and arrows. I want 30 gold coins.” I activate my merchant skills first.
Kervin flinches at my demand and quickly activates his skills to rebut me. “That’s outrageous!”
I completely disregard his skills and give him a look that says he has no choice. “Don’t think I didn’t notice how you left out how much my spears are really worth. I made you 28 spears, and I want half a gold for each, that's 14 gold there. I made you 400 of my finest arrows after you sent me that letter. I want 4 silver for each of them, that's 30 gold in total.”
"That's way too…" He tries to negotiate again, but I'm having none of it. I have all the power in this situation, and though I know my current situation isn't entirely his fault, I still hold Kervin partially responsible.
“We’re not negotiating today.” I cut him off. “30 gold, or send me your replacement. I’m sure you’ll find some way to make a profit.”
"Alright, deal." He surrenders, and I feel our skills fade away. "Do you want me to take that 30 gold and get you the materials you need?" He smiles at me like he's trying to be helpful.
"We'll talk about it tomorrow," I say to him in a severe tone.
Kervin looks at me confused, so I explain it to him. "Tonight, I'll be discussing everything you told me with my loved ones. Depending on how everyone feels, we might part ways tomorrow." I stand up, ignoring Kervin’s look of panic.
I walk over to the crate he brought my magic tools in and put everything back in the box. I pick the container up in my arms and turn to Kervin one last time. “I’ll leave my cart here tonight. See you tomorrow morning.”
I don’t look back as I make my way home. I stop when I notice the same type of spot a dozen feet into the tree line. I’m getting a bad feeling about that shifting spot.
I'll drop off the magic tools at home and then get Del. The two of us can check the area before we all have a meeting to discuss what will happen next.
My peaceful village life looks like it might be coming to an end.
**********
?????????? Point of View:
I watch my target slip into her house. With the amount of magic she's radiating, I can track her movement inside the building.
I feel her senses shift away from me. I take the opening and run.
That monster found me three times, and I still don’t know how she did it.
As I run through the trees, I check each of my magical items. All of them are functioning correctly, so I can't tell how she noticed me every time I got close to her.
It would only be a matter of time before she came to investigate me. And if she brought the stone kin with her, I’m not confident I could escape.
This is going to be a pain to explain to the boss.
At least I'm not leaving completely empty-handed, I have her and her master's name.
I glance behind me to make sure I’m not being followed.
I wouldn't put it past her to be chasing me. Just thinking about the way she shut down those three with her skills terrifies me. Thanks to Body Language, I could tell all three of them were scared of even approaching her.
You hear origin stories of high leveled people, is that what this is? I might have witnessed a future monster.
**********
Author’s Notes:
6,900 words.
This was so hard to write! I always knew I wanted Aaliyah to notice that something was wrong with Kervin, but I debated immensely on how she'd react. What do you think? Did this feel like something Aaliyah would do?
I have to work all day tomorrow, but based on your comments; I might decide to rewrite the chapter Tuesday. Whether you liked it or hated it, or maybe you cared less, please let me know below.
As always, be safe.
Comments
Good chapter. I also like the last POV where the observer noped his way out of there.
Andrew Haynes
2020-11-28 02:04:11 +0000 UTCMan that was a good chapter. Nothing nitpicky from me :-)
1Crash
2020-10-30 23:23:12 +0000 UTCLoved her reaction and it felt natural to me. She was worried about what revealing her skills to the world might mean, she knew the merchant can't ever be fully trusted, and she was on her toes after the unusual and costly falcon message. I was surprised she didn't use her scan skill on the blank spot she kept seeing moving around her. Having experiences camouflaging spiders, scanning a spot where something is trying to be invisible would be the first thing to do.
Mortgenstern
2020-10-20 01:49:53 +0000 UTCI'm just thinking that Sling would be more powerful weapon than bow in this world. It doesn't matter how strong person is level 10 or level 200, you can use sling at full strength anyway. The only downside would be that it would be harder to use your skills directly on sling projectiles because you don't contact with them directly after you put them on sling.
Ilya Hamisoniya
2020-10-09 17:44:37 +0000 UTCMC assertiveness is so satisfactory. Finally MC would get the pay she deserves.
Ilya Hamisoniya
2020-10-09 12:02:10 +0000 UTCThis "edits" are for the lowered tiered patreons to get access....
Christie
2020-10-09 07:51:53 +0000 UTCwhat changed?
Ato
2020-10-09 03:44:15 +0000 UTCGreat chapter, I'm glad to see her take some control and out her foot down with kervin. Also she's really starting to turn into a badass. Can't wait to see who else underestimates her and gets slapped in the face!
Chad Hagner
2020-10-09 03:09:49 +0000 UTCYayyyy slayer
Rukshan
2020-10-07 16:43:41 +0000 UTCY'all... got anymore of them... chapters?
Robert Mullins
2020-09-03 17:07:49 +0000 UTCI for one loved her response. I'm sick of seeing MCs letting themselves be stepped on without fighting back.
MadGod
2020-09-03 08:49:39 +0000 UTCIt's refreshing to see an MC resist the plot railroad, but it's a hard balance. Having them jump into the plot head first gets things moving but would retcon everything leading up to this, but having her dig in her heels too much would just make here seem like an idiot. Try to find the right tipping point.
Nobody
2020-09-02 19:52:14 +0000 UTCChapter 34 “Master Del-Razen was only barely able to wound the beats with a magic pickaxe. The magic beasts are believed to be around level 80, maybe higher.” Everyone pales at the revelation.
Alteron
2020-09-02 07:58:42 +0000 UTCHe does not have an acting skill.
Todd Kloos
2020-09-02 07:03:59 +0000 UTCI'm not sure why she was expecting it's level to be higher than 77. She is a crafter, not a warrior, and her sword skills are still at a low level. However, she might already be able to solo a spider if she started the battle in optimal condition (she had used up a lot of stamina and mana before she even started fighting the spider in chapter 41). By the time Aaliyah reaches level 77 she should be a lot more formidable than a chameleon spider.
Todd Kloos
2020-09-02 06:36:38 +0000 UTCI would suggest that the third, red eye she sees when looking at Del's soul is a representation/mark of the earth god that gave his race a blessing. As for the skills, you could make a case that the soul itself either acts like a magnet that binds the pale flames that form skills faster and/or acts as an empowerment to accelerate skill creation and learning.
Tatsu
2020-09-02 01:53:31 +0000 UTCI thought the reaction to Kervin was great. I like when MC's are less passive and hold their ground. Also when the chameleon spider died while she was observing it I thought her skill killed it for a little and that got real confusing. Looking back I see where you mentioned they cut off the legs to let it bleed out. Adding another line saying as it bled out the eyes blinked or something could help others not miss this detail.
Sean Miltenberger
2020-09-02 01:24:28 +0000 UTCPitz is only staying at the fort until spring then she is getting reinforcement and is probably rotated out unless something chamges. If she do not need it her men is going to need an break from the fighting. So even if she where to join Pitz she won't be joining her at the fort. Yhe meeting the Pitz can be great for MC, in the sort run at least in the long run don't know, it might hamper her growth. Espesialey if ahe is shown to much how to do stuff. She have leveled a lot in blacksmithing the last 3 months (?). In that time ahe whent from level 50 to now level 65. It took 4.5 years to get to 50. She is speeding up her level growth. A part of it is that she have to push herself finding thing's out without help. Her master can only give direction not instructions. She might actualey level enchanting faster solo than with an teacher. Don't know and we might never know.
Håvard
2020-09-01 22:30:25 +0000 UTCI am coming to the opinion that maybe Emily Pitz will be a good mentor for Aaliyah, she can protect her from the mage guild and the kingdom, train her in bow skills and others. The fort needs Aaliyah skills both for repairs and weapon production. There is an enchanter that can teach her, and some mages.
Alteron
2020-09-01 20:50:02 +0000 UTCThanks!
Håkan Friberg
2020-09-01 18:13:36 +0000 UTCproblem is if she joins up with the hunters to find him, he might not believe he is enough of an woodsman to escape dedicated tracking so running is the smart thing when you are made. Staying alive is more important than getting more info, well most of the time, this is not one of the time where getting more info is super critical. At least as long as the bosses know what they are doing.
Håvard
2020-09-01 14:08:34 +0000 UTCPatreon apparently ate my last comment? Aaliyah's reaction is fine given the context, though the flow of the confrontation feels off. I am unsure why. I agree with others that it does not seem correct for her to notice the ebb in mana changle locations three times, and not act on it. If you are going to rewrite it, I would suggest removing the second time she notices the phenomenon, and have someone/thing interrupt her before she can investigate the (previously) third time she notices. I also do not think it is correct for the unnamed spy to flee that quickly. It is shown they can easily track her from the mana she emits, so they should be able to easily avoid her while listening in on others. Such indirect information would take longer and be less precise, but is something they should be doing anyway. What the other people around Aalliyah think of her would be valuable for future meetings/negotiations. If [unnamed] does stay a while for this, they can either be presumed to have left unnoticed later, or you could have her notice again and pursue in the next few chapters. If the latter, that could potentially impact initial relations with the new groups looking for her.
Muspellsheimr
2020-09-01 13:46:12 +0000 UTCThey will be relatively mid level enchantments. The good ones were made by the Stonekin and extremely expensive. :p
Matt S.
2020-09-01 09:29:20 +0000 UTCWell we can look forward to General Emily Pitz with 400 enchanted arrows :-)
Alteron
2020-09-01 08:30:15 +0000 UTCIt reads like her looking killed it, but I'm almost 100% sure it was supposed to have bled out due to having all 10 limbs removed and also struggling - otherwise she should have been much more careful looking at any people afterwards. You're right that it should be made clearer:-)
Stephen Pearson
2020-09-01 06:09:38 +0000 UTCIt will be interesting to see how much her merchant skills level up from this kind of one sided negotiation. I also wonder if she might pick up the contract skill herself at some point.
Ninetails
2020-09-01 05:42:54 +0000 UTCI was a bit confused about the spider's death. Did it die due to her sense soul skill or did it just bleed out while she was looking at its soul?
carebear90
2020-09-01 04:35:38 +0000 UTCNothing related to this chapter, but it would be really interesting to see the people that use her special bows level up quicker now. Having better equipment sure would boost your ability beyond your level making it easier to level up IMO.
Loyal Patreon follower
2020-09-01 02:20:34 +0000 UTCUhh, soul mechanics! So the big question is, does Aaliyah have this many skills because her soul is larger or is it large because of the many skills. Should be the former, because skills do not make the core of the soul. Does she have twice the normal soul capacity because of transmigrating? Does soul size correlate with age? Given Del is much older than both her life's put together this can't just be it. Transmigration plus talent? Maybe! It wonder why Del's soul has three eyes, maybe it's "high level" plus only shows up when looking at other's soul. Or it's a magical race thing. Much lore to explore! Exciting!
Matt S.
2020-08-31 22:20:59 +0000 UTCThe portion of the sale price with a minimum would be fine. However, Kervin has been proved to have inadequate skills to gain a fair price.
CyclopsSlayer
2020-08-31 21:58:19 +0000 UTCBy points: 1) The reactions are fine! Kervin being greedy suits his character to risk it to get more profits. Aaliyah it's comprenhensibly angry when she find out he is lying. 2) Selling without a new agreement? I guess you could say that she keep her word to sell the weapons, but increasing the price. 3) Blame on her. Yep, she knew she was doing pre-enchanment weapons, but she doesnt ask her mother for the prices on market, or Del. Not studying the market it's a blame on herself. If she is scamed it's on her. Now, after all this, I expect a change and a reflection about it. Ask ask ask. 4) ANother aspect it's that Kervin it's not at the level to sell this kind of weapons. An can be trusted again? 5) If I was her, I would do a simple no exclusive contract. 70% Aaliyah - 30% merchant on the final price to the client, with a minimum in the retail price. I liked the chapter but it feel short! XD
Toni Pampliega
2020-08-31 19:50:12 +0000 UTCShe's thinking on this chapter about the spider that nearly killed her dad. The spider she missed because she didn't go on patrol that day, too focused on her shiny new sword. Two days later she sees a strange presence in the surrounding Mana. It's near the village and then it moves. But she consciously ignores it because she's too excited over going shopping. I think this would be a great opportunity to show character growth and learning lessons. Instead we have her make the same mistakes she thought she made last time.
Brian P.
2020-08-31 19:37:31 +0000 UTCHer reactions were spot on with the story imho. She did spot Kervin's bullshitting and overreaction to her joke. She did get mad when she thought she'd been exposed. She did spot "some weird but interresting magical phenomena", yet I won't blame her for not rushing it straight like every other kids here think she should have : 1. It was stated that she was pretty tired becuz' they overworked to get everything ready. 2. She just show something unusual, that appears to not be fixed in space. !it did pick up her interrest as everytings' else did. For those who yell she should've rush it oherwise it's not in her character, well you're wrong. She do rush thing, but be sure to be at least prepared, or covered. She won't rush to a unusual sighting the moment she spot it. Plus today was the day she would've recieve her golds and her magical items, so she had that to look forward too, so even if she was more impulsive as some think she is, she won't rush to the first unusual thing she see.
Bobtur
2020-08-31 19:09:16 +0000 UTCIt is mentioned how she feels bad for Kervin and she also wants money. Although it is not mentioned I would not be surprised if the fact the weapons and arrows are needed by the army to fight off the invasion played apart as well. If the invaders breach the fort both her village and The city where her brother are would be endanger. This isn’t mentioned explicitly but I knowing her it may have had an impact.
Clay smith
2020-08-31 18:48:48 +0000 UTCAlso, isn't it technically a breach of his end of the contract? His job was to keep her undetected and he failed. It seems weird that the skills just lets him do that and still try to cover it up when he's bound by his own contract magic.
M. Gunnarsson
2020-08-31 18:47:13 +0000 UTCi think the point is that she is terrible at sewing, you wouldn't get xp for chopping a tree with the handle of the axe.
Miritar
2020-08-31 18:44:02 +0000 UTCHonestly her reaction felt pretty right. I would have been absolutely pissed if it was me and Kervin tried to keep me from knowing. I mean really, all that happens and he tries to pretend like nothing happened?
The-Anti-Akuma
2020-08-31 17:57:41 +0000 UTCThe spy could easily have skills to deflect attention while undercover. As we've seen with Kervin's bargaining, Aaliyah is resistant to mental skills but not immune to them.
ActionKermit
2020-08-31 17:37:38 +0000 UTCShe should gain another level in Mental Resistance from it.
Giperman
2020-08-31 16:31:28 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapter, I like the way the story is heating up. Only thing I'll point out is that she's sewing in the chapter but doesn't get any exp for it.
Nick
2020-08-31 16:09:19 +0000 UTCSo I assume the Spy had a magical item that made Aaliyah Dismiss the spy as being unimportant and made it so she would always put off investigating it to later?
Call0013
2020-08-31 15:26:33 +0000 UTCYeah the mana spot thing is out of character. An easy retcon could be to have her toss a rock at it at least, miss the spy, and move on when there wasn't a reaction. Otherwise, thanks for the chapter.
M. Gunnarsson
2020-08-31 14:30:43 +0000 UTCI think you did an accurate job portraying how she would react. When it comes to her family she’s not afraid to get tough to protect her loved ones. The only thing that’s out of character for her is not immediately investigating the non mana spot. She’s incredibly curious about exploring her skills and seeing something like that, especially again after her conversation with her knowing people know about her now and could have sent people to spy on her that followed Kervin.
Drew Kerstens
2020-08-31 14:00:48 +0000 UTCGood stuff, keep it up. Also here are some mistakes I found. He reaches in and pulls out the -fist- item You -poor- water in the top My skills must have (been) worked
mmarkgraf212
2020-08-31 13:42:08 +0000 UTCI like it, this chapter was very well written. Events are all in character, behavior is explained, it works well to my mind. Good work, keep it up.
Carl Mason
2020-08-31 13:13:03 +0000 UTCI like it as is. Paranoid, scared, but headstrong. She may regret how she acted later because she definitely didn't want to risk fighting them (because she doesn't want to hurt them) but it makes sense in the heat of the moment
Ani-mam
2020-08-31 12:13:26 +0000 UTCThe only part that doesn't make sense is that she proceeds to sell her goods to Kervin, knowing she will be renegotiating her contract her the next day after speaking to, in particular, her mother who has merchant training. I would expect Aaliyah to get her mother to help with determining an accurate and fair price. Especially since it's gone beyond Aaliyah selling her in-training scraps
Enough Efficiency
2020-08-31 11:59:05 +0000 UTCStupid, stupid Kelvin. Be honest that’s all he had to do to preserve his relationship with her or even tell her after negotiations he had something to say to her. From the moment he sent the message to the moment he came to the village he was so far out of character that she would have to be deaf, dumb and stupid not to know something major happened and stupid didn’t even have a store ready. “Great news MC, the army really liked your spears, and while I did not make as much as I wanted I think I have the ability to turn a bigger profit next time. Because i
Lesley Douglas
2020-08-31 11:48:46 +0000 UTCAaliyah was also prepped by Master Del with the idea that Kervin effed up. Leaping to a conclusion did not seem out of place.
Hunendora
2020-08-31 11:26:24 +0000 UTCGood chapter, though I wished she went to investigate what it was. Like throw something at it or something.
Thundermike00
2020-08-31 10:55:01 +0000 UTCIIRC, the letter was addressed to the village in general. It's small enough that they knew who to give it to without naming her.
Brian P.
2020-08-31 10:43:41 +0000 UTCYeah I gotta 2nd this. What with the spiders and goblins there is no believable way she'd ignore something like that once she noticed the mana poor spots were moving and frequently near her. That is beyond a 'red flag' type scenario, its the equivalent of a 70ft tall flashing sign. If it were me I'd either retconn out her noticing it altogether or have her only notice it once when the spy got close but that is very much just a suggestion
tibbish
2020-08-31 10:29:55 +0000 UTCI don't know why, but at this point I find that one endearing:-) You're right that it happens a lot, though.
Stephen Pearson
2020-08-31 09:46:58 +0000 UTCNope, the healer is the daughter, Aaliyah is from a competing merchant clan.
Stephen Pearson
2020-08-31 09:38:36 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapter! 😀 Can't wait for the next one, to know how the Mom will react when she learn her father have noticed her daughter... 😆
Vyktor
2020-08-31 09:32:03 +0000 UTCThanks for the chappy! One thing, you keep writing sward instead of sword in your chappys (unless they are fighting with grass?) and it's super annoying XD I don't know why that typo is so confusingly irritating to me but yeah, just wanted to let you know.
Deinos
2020-08-31 09:12:20 +0000 UTCAhh stalker half spoted she should used soul sense at that empty area it would be funny to have that one feel dreed of geting seen. Thanks for chapter this story is good find
RhyxMormarteno
2020-08-31 08:59:32 +0000 UTCLike I'm not saying she shouldn't be MAD. But she doesn't strike me as the violent type... no?
Cobbly
2020-08-31 08:58:02 +0000 UTCI dunno. I feel like this is a bit too... Hostile for her. Besides, she's being really irresponsible with her tier 5 skill if she's using it for intimidation? Not a bad use... just feels a bit... harsh.
Cobbly
2020-08-31 08:55:05 +0000 UTCSo... was this Spy working for Kervin's boss or for the General? I mean... The General allready should know Aaliyahs name from the letter and Kervin's boss should know Del's name after looking at his families records. It would of course make sense for both scenarios, that the spy was not told either of them. I'd be guessing he's working for Giovanni for now, since he arrived together with Kervin. A spy working for the General would have had enough time to arrive there way earlier. I liked Aaliyah snapping at Kervin. Even that she was showing to much of her abilities in the process is totally in character for her. What was absolutely not in character for her was ignoring these suspicious manapoor spots especially when there allready are invisible spiders arround. I'd buy it as a "have to check that out later" maybe the first time. But at least telling her master while picking up the weapons. As soon as one of those spots moved that would be an absolute red flag. As mentioned by another comment above that would also be a good reason to allready be on edge when her meeting with Kervin starts. Regarding Kervin... of course he stayed a scumbag and continued to try and scam her until she didn't leave him any other choice... I didn't expect anything else really. I wonder if this will be the first time Aaliyah got any trading xp at all... ^^
carebear90
2020-08-31 08:52:42 +0000 UTCI hope you get to 4k soon so you can quit your job
DNAjester
2020-08-31 08:46:20 +0000 UTCthat 30-70 deal is not an good one for him beacuse his trading house takes an large part of his profits and his guards need pay, then it's the distance he need to travel so her getting 30-40% is maximum. If she wants more for the items she have to move to the army, and then she have to get the metal and wood from an merchant. Just want to note farmers today can get as little as 5-10% and you want her to get 70%.
Håvard
2020-08-31 08:45:58 +0000 UTCI'm not a writer but I'm a fan and I'm living this story. Thank you!!
Steven Palmer
2020-08-31 08:13:53 +0000 UTCYou have started to use forshadowing and sprinkling hints/info earlier that is used as a plot device later - The engraving Ink materials. Nice! 👍
FillerArc
2020-08-31 08:11:58 +0000 UTCIgnoring the spy seems out of character, Kervin stuff seems fine to me, i do think she should form a Contact with comission such at 30% of value he gets while 70% is hers
Kalle
2020-08-31 08:02:02 +0000 UTCI enjoyed the chapter, though her ignoring the magic area that newly appeared right in the village and moved around is extremely unbelievable with the camouflaged monster problems they have been having. Its almost darwin award level to ignore them the way she did, if it had been a monster or assassin in stealth instead of a spy she would be very dead.
Joseph
2020-08-31 07:58:01 +0000 UTCAgree. Id thought she would suspect something and throw a stone at the place or something. But the pov change with him running away was almost better then him dropping out of stealth when a stone hits his head. ^^
D
2020-08-31 07:39:00 +0000 UTCa few things: 1. It would have been cool if she drew then lit her sword for full intimidation, as he already knows of her magic:-) 2. He still got a great deal on this - the unimproved version of the spears sell for almost 1.2 gold. With the additional improvements, better enchantments are likely doable further raising the price. Mind you, I wouldn't mind that as a normal price if he hadn't been so drastically taking advantage of her for so long. And 300%-400% profit is certainly less egregious than 4400%+. Though I'm sure he did a lot better (and she did worse) than that for the arrows, considering how highly they're needed, and once enchanted will likely allow up to level 4 skills use. 3. now that they are making a contract explicitly for her, she should finish inverting the relationship and insist on set percentages and full disclosure of costs. That is, he would take her goods and pay her say, 65% while keeping 35%. This is still very profitable for him, as the value will only increase over time (higher value goods and craftspeople have more leverage). Possibly a portion paid up front, and awareness that his contract could be breakable. 4. She could have mentioned not only the omission of price, but the general directly finding Kervin to put in the request. Ymmv.
Stephen Pearson
2020-08-31 07:32:30 +0000 UTCHonestly I think she’s going to have to TRY to dress up for cute. Usually she just acts cute but I’ve never heard of her going out of her way to accessorize or dress cute. I’d think learning to enhance her cuteness with accessories would break her through.
Milandaanza
2020-08-31 07:29:12 +0000 UTCYou do not want it to be an specific skill, then anyone that have or know that specific skill knows you are hiding something. Hiding something and not telling what something is, have different meaning to people and especially people that believe someone is very dangerous/powerful. Agree on the red flag. For me the simple solution is have her notice it 2 times once when she leave Del's place with the wagon and once when she leaves Kevin. That way it does not move before after she leaves Kevin and the spy can run before she can investigate it. For the spy getting noticed two times and seeing the merchants reaction is enough to make him run. The only problem is that she after months of scouting the forest around the village she who'd know that first spot is new. It could be an plant as she noted. There are flowers that bloom in winter so it could be an magical flower that eat magic and came in with the monsters or something; so I can see her ignoring it. At the same time calling Del and cheeking it out who'd be something I who'd have done. Spending 30 min looking at it would not make any big problems for her talk with Kevin. Then have her and Del not find it so Del goes and gets Roland and inform the headman while she talks to Kevin. After the talk she notice the moved spot and goes to get Del while the spy run. If they find human tracks they won't follow because what are they to do? Arrest the person for watching them? This also makes any aggressive reaction to Kevin expected as she is on edge before starting the conversation. She also does not have endless amounts of time to find out what to do with him so letting him wait a day is even more imperative.
Håvard
2020-08-31 07:22:21 +0000 UTCGreat chapter 👍👌
Erriballon
2020-08-31 07:18:21 +0000 UTCloved the chapter. was anxiously awaiting it all day.
Miritar
2020-08-31 07:18:21 +0000 UTCAaliya being a reckless, impulsive airhead seems to be her second most defining character trait, after her leveling ethic. This is the idiot who decided to run around outside, in winter, without shoes.
Brian P.
2020-08-31 07:16:12 +0000 UTCI've gotta say, your chapters never let me down. The perspectives are interesting, the story telling is wonderful, and the chapters are full, and dont feel short. Thankyou very much for all the work you must put into them, and keep it up (: Edit: After re-reading it does seem a bit out of character that she'd ignore a low mana spot that seems to be moving around.. Multiple times. Especially after the incidents with the spiders.. You'd think anything affecting mana near the treelines would be immediately checked on.
ZaA
2020-08-31 07:12:40 +0000 UTCWhy why why, Aaliya? Don't tell them you can see their level. That's info they don't need and puts you in more danger.
PatronTurtle
2020-08-31 07:00:51 +0000 UTCDepends on how hot the blade gets. If it's hot enough to carbonize the blood then a flick or single wipe and it'll mostly detached. Not sure how much damage ash would do to the blade either.
PatronTurtle
2020-08-31 06:57:56 +0000 UTCAgreed on that. Any sus Mana has got to be a check-out-ASAP scenario, even if she's stupid excited about shopping. Very strange that she didn't do so.
Brian P.
2020-08-31 06:56:32 +0000 UTCExxxxx-celent. Thank you:-)
Stephen Pearson
2020-08-31 06:56:15 +0000 UTCThose ingredients were way out of his range previously, so he likely doesn't even know the problem. If he does, then he probably thought that she did not.
Stephen Pearson
2020-08-31 06:52:39 +0000 UTCReaction with Kevin is OK. I am just totally surprised that Aaliyah didn't investigate the mana repelling area immediately. That seems totally out of character for her. Especially when she observed it multiple times. She is the sort that would immediately drop everything and scan the area with [Sense Soul] !
lenkite
2020-08-31 06:48:10 +0000 UTCI liked it. With all the stuff happening in the background the last few chapters it was good to see Aaliyah getting involved in it.
Robert Mullins
2020-08-31 06:43:52 +0000 UTCI understand you're trying to move things along but I think the pacing was a little rushed in this chapter.
Emma Carlin
2020-08-31 06:36:36 +0000 UTCIsn’t it either a fine-tuned or well-oiled machine?
Karl Tageman
2020-08-31 06:28:55 +0000 UTCI can’t wait to see what she needs to do in order to breakthrough on her cleaning and cute skills.
David Zimmerle
2020-08-31 06:27:31 +0000 UTCI do feel like it fits Aaliyah because a lot of her peaceful life and her families safety hinges on her anonymity. Plus she trusted Kervin. Knowing his actions sold her out because he pushed too hard for profit would bother me too. You really do show her young age though with her training that skill on random villagers; mean! Should have at least done it on people she didn’t like. I have three things I want to bring up. -T5 Skill or not I’m surprised she doesn’t mention it to her parents even just the fact it’s a skill she can’t talk about. They told her not to mention T4 or above skills so I think they’d be fine with that. -I feel like she should ask her mother about an Intimidation skill that fits the effects of Sense Soul. Having a specific name and details of a low tier intimidation skill would help her BS things. -I’m surprised she’s not more suspicious of those magic void spots. The girls been going about hunting hidden creatures for months and a sudden change in the village should be a red flag.
Milandaanza
2020-08-31 06:27:02 +0000 UTCI can't remember Kervin's Status Page, but shouldn't he have an acting skill? Even if the outcome would be the same, I prefer Kervin's stress not to be so obvious. He looks like a beginner merchant. He also should be aware of the restrictions for the ink ingredients and not agree immediately. More like "I can pull some strings for you for an extra coin" or so. Of course Aaliyah can still see right through him ^^
Julkur
2020-08-31 06:26:37 +0000 UTCHer conversation with Kervin was a maybe a little "forced". Im not sure its completly in character for her to force things like that, but then again, she's not really been "angered" before either. Either way, things are moving fast. Make sure to take some time to keep building the side characters (small PoV's as part of a chapter are perfect for that).
Worldknower
2020-08-31 06:24:30 +0000 UTCGreat chapter, i love that she is showing her teeth :-)
Alteron
2020-08-31 06:23:52 +0000 UTCWould also explain the stonekin having 3. Probably a dwarf related god.
Robert Mullins
2020-08-31 06:23:27 +0000 UTCSo are the eyes gods or spirits of some sort? I remember they have prayers in this world but not who too.
Robert Mullins
2020-08-31 06:22:59 +0000 UTCI can't remember Kervin's Status Page, but shouldn't he have an acting skill?
Julkur
2020-08-31 06:22:47 +0000 UTCThanks for the chapter, her reaction seemed realistic considering her previous reactions in wanting to protect her family and in previous fights and after killing the goblins.
Seth
2020-08-31 06:22:15 +0000 UTCGood to be back, having the abyss get the chance to let loose and stare people down. This was a very cool chapter. Thanks for the chapter!
Ungrave
2020-08-31 06:15:01 +0000 UTCI've begun to think of it as a joke that his name never seems to be spelled the same.
Ungrave
2020-08-31 06:14:02 +0000 UTCGreat chapter. I think you handled her reaction to Kervin quite well.
Enif
2020-08-31 06:13:39 +0000 UTCGood chapter. I think her being angry is reasonable after they went through all the trouble of establishing a contract to keep her identity a secret.
Robert Mullins
2020-08-31 06:12:40 +0000 UTCAhhh this novel is getting so exciting to read. The next chapter is Thursday, correct?
Darastrix
2020-08-31 06:11:48 +0000 UTCThank you!
Andrew
2020-08-31 06:10:29 +0000 UTCKervin is misspelled quite a bit, it threw me for a loop.
Mr. Bigglesworth
2020-08-31 06:03:44 +0000 UTCI'm pretty sure she shouldn't sheath her sword after hacking at the spider without cleaning it first. Seems like that'd ruin the sheath and the blade over time. And it's not like the fire would mitigate that. If anything it might get more blood stuck to the blade.
Brian P.
2020-08-31 06:02:10 +0000 UTCCorrections
Kosnik4
2020-08-31 05:47:46 +0000 UTC