Disintegrity 28-29 remade !
Added 2020-01-18 02:02:49 +0000 UTCTwo pages ?! Yeah, well, not the hardest pages. It still took I think two-three days for both but I've seen worse. In fact hey ! One of them didn't require me to completely redraw every character ! When was the last time I could actually re-use bits of the original page ? I don't know ! It's been soooo long !
So, changes ? Well, not much.
I thought page 28 was pretty good and honestly it hasn't aged badly, I like the excessive fisheye pose, yet I still redid the character completely in both panel. It was just faster to redo than to adjust. Disappointing given that I just said it looked fine but that's just how it goes.
Only the third panel has changes worth mentionning, the sofa used to be lined and shaded the same as Larsen, now the sofa looks more like a background element. I also added some blur here and there to help the fisheye effect a bit.
Otherwise, same thing.
Page 29 is basically the same story ! I thought the old one was mostly fine, not great but passable, adequately cute.Yet once again, it was faster to redo than to fix.
BUT WAIT, I did mention that for the first time in forever, I could salvage a bit of the old page ! Yes, in the first panel, Larsen's head under the towel is a modified re-use of the old page. So yeah. That's the only remain of the old page. A blue blob. The cup is entirely new, everything else is entirely new, just that towel bit.
yaaaaaaaaaayyyy
Anyway, as far as changes worth talking about go, I added a sense of momentum on the first panel's cup to make the hit easier to read. Zee doesn't have a broken wrist anymore in panel 2. It's barely worth talking about.
The only new thing are the lines exploding out of Zee's head in the last panel. I do that a lot recently. It's just there to accentuate the emotion of the face being highlighted in general, here Zee being surprisingly happy with the situation. I think it adds some dynamism to the page that didn't use to be there so yea. That's the reasoning.
Anyway WHY ZEE DRY BUT LARSEN STILL UNDER TOWEL ? PLOTHOLE 0/10 BAD COMIC
Comments
It is a one way road sign, it just has white spot to make it look like a smiley. I don't know if I kept up with that design for the entire comic tho, at some point I think I just gave up and only vaguely drew the shape I remembered it having. There's a lot of that in the comic, the background are very inconsistent, so were the characters tho so I guess that was a theme (because I wasn't very good). I still am largely inconsistent with backgrounds cos I don't find it fun to draw.
RodVonBoche
2020-01-18 15:27:55 +0000 UTCIt allways amazes me how quite little adjustments like in page 28 can change the whole thing. And for the better! I mean, that page was ok until it was remade, but now that you have the new one you don't want to have the old page anymore. What I was wondering about is that sign on the door. It looks like "one way road - do not enter", but first, it doesn't make sense on the inside of the door, and second, if I look closely, there are two dots above the bar. These dots move to below the bar on pages 112 and 113 (Danielle enters), and they are gone on page 126. Long story short: I can't get that sign sorted out. You didn't mention that in page 29 Larsen is moved slighty towards the center of the panel, instead of being off to the right (actually I see now that he is only moved in the last panel), and thus they are closer together. Subtle but effective. And Zee really has a looooong tail :-)
Eldkatten
2020-01-18 06:56:05 +0000 UTCI see what you mean, and actually, when I read the story for the first time, I also thought "More games of that kind?!". Still I think it should be left the way it is. "Do you want to play games?" is just unclear enough to remain the tension, while "Do you want to play video games?" would inflate the situation immediately. Zee didn't plan for things to go the way they did at that point, so one can not expect him to be clear, just making things up while going. And Larsen doesn't get it completely at first, too. You can see it in his face. I first missed the tiny "Okay" at the bottom of the page the first time - and I still do sometimes :-) - , but that is actually the release of the tension, not Zee's question. So I pledge for leaving it as it is, with that uncertainty about what kind of games Zee is thinking about.
Eldkatten
2020-01-18 06:38:00 +0000 UTCwhat do you think about clarifying what kind of games they're playing? I mean I guess it's clear as soon as you see them sitting in front of the TV, but - in context, given the implication that they've been doing this weird dance around their feelings for a while, "play games" could refer to, you know, the games that they're playing about whether they like each other or not or whatever. what I'm saying is, do you think it'd work better as "Do you want to play video games?"
matt
2020-01-18 03:51:08 +0000 UTC
