XaiJu
azaleaellis
azaleaellis

patreon


Chapter 226 - Substitute Exhibitionist

Sebastien

Month 8, Day 30, Monday 7:30 a.m.

 

Giving Sebastien the report on his research seemed to have released something held taut within Damien, and as they and their friends gathered for breakfast, he slumped listlessly in his seat.

The food was better than normal, perhaps to encourage them to put their all into the exams. Ana pushed a plate of eggs and toast towards Damien. “You need to eat something,” she said, her voice tinged with concern. “You look like you’re about to fall face-first into your porridge.”

“Too nervous to sleep?” Alec commiserated, his own knee bouncing rapidly beneath the table.

Damien mumbled something incoherent and halfheartedly picked up his fork.

Sebastien watched him with a growing sense of guilt. Damien’s exhaustion was almost entirely due to the research project she had encouraged him to pursue, but at this rate, Damien was likely to perform poorly on his exams. “The quicker you eat, the quicker you can take a nap.”

Damien blinked as that information burrowed past the sleep-deprived barrier in his brain, and then began to shovel down the food. Then he pushed his tray aside, folded his arms on the table, and rested his head on them. Within moments, his breathing had evened out.

Sebastien unbuttoned the light summer jacket of her suit and rested it over Damien’s head to block out the light. When the others were finished, Sebastien waved them off. “You all go on ahead. I’ll stay here with Damien for a bit, make sure he gets to the exam in time.” They still had about forty-five minutes before the first extended test period began. Sebastien knew from experience that sometimes that could make all the difference.

The atmosphere was festive and hectic, but slightly less panicked than she remembered from the first term’s exams. Even this term’s exhibitions were slightly less elaborate than the first term’s, except for a couple of big planned events that were enough to draw the crowds all on their own. This might be because it was an even-numbered term for the majority of students. Only those who had been held back a term or who had entered during the more limited Sowing Break exams were hitting milestones now.

When it was time to leave for the exam, Sebastien gently shook Damien awake. They arrived only a couple minutes before the bell sounded, and most of the other students were already seated.

Professor Burberry was handing out sealed test papers, smiling merrily and trying to joke to put the students at ease.

As Sebastien took her paper from the woman, Burberry leaned in close put her hand on his elbow to keep him from walking on. She spoke in a low voice. “Mr. Siverling, I want you to know that although we emphasize the importance of these exams, you are not in danger of failing out for the year if you put in even moderate effort.”

Sebastien blinked, unsure how to respond.

Burberry continued, her voice gentle but firm. “I’ve had a talk with Professor Lacer about unrealistic expectations and the risks that pressuring young thaumaturges can bring. I know how hard you’ve been pushing yourself. Please don’t hurt yourself just to impress someone who’s forgotten what it’s like to be just starting out.”

Sebastien stood there, somewhat baffled by Burberry’s words, and then walked on to her seat when Burberry gave her a nod.

She guessed that somehow, word about her lack of sleep must have reached Burberry’s ears. She tried to be discreet, but it was impossible to keep people from noticing when a light was glowing from her cubicle in the middle of the night. Not unless she wanted to make more elaborate renovations to the small space.

It was a stark reminder that she needed to find a more discreet way to manage her nocturnal activities. Suddenly, she realized that it had been a mistake not to sign up for any of the exhibitions. Sure, she hadn’t had time to prepare anything impressive, but without an extra source of contribution points, she was unlikely to ever get out of the dormitory.

When Ana asked her what was wrong, Sebastien explained.

Ana flipped her long, honey-colored waves over one shoulder. “Is that it? You know you can put your name down to fill in a spot if any of the other students drop out of the exhibition last-minute, right? It happens every term, for various reasons I’m sure you can imagine.”

“Ah,” Sebastien said. She had not known that, but it made sense. Students probably dropped out due to nerves, straining their Wills or injuring themselves during the exams, or even, occasionally, because they had died.

The Introduction to Modern Magics exam wasn’t much different from the ones held in this class before. Sebastien easily poured out her knowledge into short essay questions. Most of it they had covered, at least briefly, in class. The rest was covered in supplemental reading for this class, or was something they should have picked up in one of the other three mandatory, core classes.

The practical portion involved casting a selection of random magic they had practiced throughout the term. She moved through the tasks with practiced ease. She created a simple, all-purpose antidote potion, and stashed the two extra vials she’d made in her satchel with a secret grin.

Next, she did a simple card-reading divination for her test proctor, being sure to sound as confident as possible. She had learned that the way they graded people on these kinds of ambivalent magic had a lot to do with their own perception.

Finally, she created a tiny vermin-repelling artifact. That was the hardest, but she doubted that just being able to detect small animals like mice and rats and then wave little clacking sticks would actual deter vermin for long. They were smarter than people gave them credit for, and hunger was great impetus for bravery.

When she was finished, Sebastien decided to take Ana’s advice, and made her way through the combined crowds of students and civilians to the administration center in the library.

That was easy,’ Sebastien reflected. Though Intro to Modern Magics was supposed to be an overview of the different kinds of magic they could be learning each term, a place to consolidate and get a little extra practice—or to get an introduction for a topic whose election they weren’t taking—Sebastien thought Practical Casting was actually doing a much better job of teaching her this term.

They moved too slowly in Intro to Modern Magics, with too much time spent explaining things in-class that they could be learning through doing some basic research on their own.

When she arrived at the administration center and announced her purpose, the faculty member at the desk lit up like a flower that had seen the sun. “Guys, it’s Sebastien Siverling, and he’s here to be an exhibition stand in!”

One of the older, more portly staff members immediately pushed his way to the counter. “You won’t regret this,” he said, filling out Sebastien’s paperwork with impressive speed.

When Sebastien explained that she was willing to fill in a spot in the exhibitions at any point that she wasn’t taking an exam, with twenty minutes of forewarning, and for any of the classes that she was taking, the man literally grabbed her hand in both of his. He bowed over it. “Thank you, Mr. Siverling.”

Sebastien stood there awkwardly as they finished the paperwork and everyone beamed at her.

“We will send a runner for you if we have a spot,” the man said. “Keep your student token on you.”

Sebastien idled about, ate lunch, and supervised a second nap for Damien before the Natural Science exam.

Professor Gnorrish had again gone out of his way to make even his exam engaging, with interactive questions and drawings that moved across the paper in response to the students.

The most difficult and time-consuming topic of this exam was a simulated experiment. The test provided an issue, some basic information, and then asked them to go through the steps to gather data, analyze the results, and present their conclusions. The paper responded to their written answers, providing “results” based on the steps they described. It even included some fun drawings.

Around her, Sebastien noticed several students discreetly attempting to cast ink-erasing spells on their papers. She ducked her head and smirked at their suppressed panic. They had probably realized that they had made mistakes earlier in their experimental setup. She admonished herself to remain focused, and finished in time to answer some of the extra-credit questions at the back. They wouldn’t count toward her score, but were a great way to earn a few extra contribution points.

As the test period drew to a close, Professor Gnorrish stood at the front of the classroom, smiling out at all of them with pride. He cleared his throat and addressed the students, his voice carrying a hint of emotion.

“It has been my honor,” he began, “to guide you all through this first year of higher learning. Natural Science is not just about memorizing facts and figures, but about understanding the very fabric of our world and how magic interacts with it.” He paused, his gaze sweeping across the room. “I hope that a few of you will go on to change the world with the knowledge you’ve gained here. Remember, true discovery comes not just from what we know, but from questioning what we don’t.”

Sebastien smiled back genuinely at him as he met her gaze.

As soon as she stepped out of the classroom, a young man lunged at her.

Sebastien jerked back, but instead of attacking, the man gestured into the distance. “Mr. Siverling?” he asked. Without waiting for an answer, he continued. “You’re needed to fill in for an exhibition immediately. Please follow me!”

The runner led Sebastien to the History of Magic exhibition area. She remembered from last term that it was mostly museum-style displays of ancient relics, some reproductions of what they thought certain things looked like, and sometimes a speech or two talking about some historical topic.

She had nothing like that prepared.

The exhibition organizer who met her there was notably apologetic, but reminded her that she did say any of her classes, and without any extra lead time.

“It’s okay,” Sebastien assured them. “I just need a black curtain for a backdrop—as large as possible.”

“What will you be doing?”

“An illusion play. A story about Myrddin’s travels, I think.”

They put up a hasty sign at the entrance and sent the poor runner to get the curtain for her while she set up a simplistic spell array on the empty, portable stage. She only used a couple of glyphs. Even outside of Professor Lacer’s class, and though this was not an emergency where speed was of the essence, it was valuable to practice minimizing her reliance on a spell array.

When the curtain was set up and the organizer called the start of the exhibition, she began to absorb and bend the light within the Circle to her Will. The story she told was one of the lesser-known, about an adventure during Myrddin’s travel to the East. While there, he had learned some of their magics from a local master. The scene depicted a small Eastern village nestled in misty mountains, with ornate pagodas and cherry blossom trees.

The East also had their own magical beasts, many of which were insidious and clever, and loved to slowly terrorize small communities of people. Sebastien didn’t know if the story was true or the beasts even existed, since some of them sounded rather more like Eldritch or Nightmare-type Aberrants.

Sebastien narrated the story and did the voices herself, taking liberties with the characterization and the appearances of the monsters. She also frequently took the opportunity to interject asides about any historical truth behind the tale.

A crowd slowly grew, and she was satisfied with the couple dozen attendees gathered around by the end of her exhibition. They clapped politely—the children with extra enthusiasm—and Sebastien encouraged them to check out the other historical exhibits.

The single judge seemed to be a history enthusiast, as he took the opportunity to loudly introduce some of the other exhibits to the crowd before they could politely slip away.

The organizer bustled over to Sebastien, beaming. “Oh, that was wonderful. I wish more students would come up with ideas like that. People don’t know the value of history. It’s not as if it’s all boring dates and lists of names. What we don’t understand, we are doomed to repeat, my father always said.”

They made a note on their clipboard, shared a glance over their shoulder with the judge, and then told Sebastien, “Fifty contribution points.”

“Fifty?”

“Fifty.”

As Sebastien walked away, she realized that the contribution points—a far larger number than her exhibition really warranted—was some kind of belated bribe for putting herself on the spot.

Tuesday started with the History of Magic exam. It retained Professor Ilma’s signature requirement for deductive reasoning and a comprehensive understanding of the broader forces that shaped pivotal historical moments. It made for a good story, but rarely were huge movements and the shifting of power caused by a single man, good or evil.

After the main test, there was an extra credit question. “What would the world be like today if one of these significant historical figures had never existed?” It then gave a list of names that they could choose from.

The bell rang, cutting Sebastien off when she was only a single page of hasty scribbles into her answer. Reluctantly, she set down her fountain pen. Her fingers ached and were so stiff she had trouble relaxing them from their clawed position, as if she were still holding her pen between them.

Sebastien considered asking Professor Lacer for whatever spell he used to control his pen. She was pretty sure her mind could move faster than her fingers.

As the other students filed out of the classroom, Sebastien lingered behind. She approached Professor Ilma’s desk and pulled out the borrowed books about Myrddin.

Ilma pressed them back toward Sebastien. “Keep them,” the woman said with a small smile.

Sebastien blinked in astonishment, acutely aware of the books’ considerable value. Especially Enough Yarn to Last the Night: A Collection of Myths from the Life of a Man with Many Names, which had been illustrated by hand. It wasn’t just that. They were full of notes from Ilma’s mentor, and surely held sentimental weight.

“Why?” Sebastien asked, unable to hide her confusion.

Ilma’s eyes twinkled with an uncharacteristic warmth as she replied, “I heard about your exhibition.” She gestured towards the books in Sebastien’s hands. “You read these,” she said simply, as if that single fact explained everything. Without waiting for further response, she gathered up the sealed box full of students’ completed tests and walked out.

During the midday break between exams, Sebastien was called for another exhibition while eating lunch. The sudden summons caught her off guard, her mouth still full of food. Reluctantly, she stuffed her cheeks like a chipmunk and set her half-finished meal aside. As she hurried behind the runner, she drew several amused and curious glances from passersby.

The exhibition, she learned as they cut between cobblestone paths to get to their destination more quickly, was for Introduction to Modern Magics. However, upon arriving at the venue, Sebastien noticed on the schedule that the student whose spot she was filling was actually in term five, taking “Studies in Modern Magic: Elemental Influences,” a more advanced specialization of the introductory course.

The organizers, seemingly unfazed by this discrepancy, began announcing her presence with great enthusiasm as soon as she arrived. Their excited proclamations soon drew in a sizeable audience. ‘They must have considerable faith in my ability to pull something appropriate out of my ass.’ It seemed like a risk to her, but luckily for them, she did have an idea.

Sebastien cleared a space on the white stone ground in front of some tiered spectator seating. She measured out an area a few strides across and began scraping out a more intricate spell array than those she usually used. This was too complex to hold even half of it in her mind.

She incorporated glyphs for each of the five elemental planes—earth, air, fire, water, and radiance—and added drawings to represent the specific form she wanted each element to take. She had appropriate components in her satchel, many saved from various in-class practices, but she asked the organizers to get planar components for her anyway. They were expensive, and if no one stopped her, she might be able to sneak off with them afterward.

Finally, she added two central glyphs: ‘lifelike-movement’ and ‘detailed-molding.’ Here was one case where specificity trumped flexibility.

With the array complete and the planar components in place, Sebastien populated the circular, makeshift arena with small competitors, each made from one of the five elements. The diminutive figures came to life, the tallest of them reaching to her knee, but ready for a mock battle.

The audience cheered, and Sebastien smiled out at them. There were quite a few children, but several of the adults looked equally captivated. She didn’t have the strength to make the combatants any bigger, but thought it would be alright with the small size of the stands. Hopefully none of them had poor eyesight.

Sebastien orchestrated the battle with careful precision. She focused on animating two elemental beings at a time, allowing them to engage in dynamic combat while the others shifted and breathed, or stalked back and forth in a loop, looking somewhat alive but not really contributing to the melee. Without dropping her shadow-familiar spell and using both halves of her Will, she didn’t have the ability to do any more than that.

The audience didn’t seem to mind too much, screaming and cheering as the miniature elementals clashed.

The battle progressed, each elemental showcasing its unique strengths and weaknesses. The earth golem’s sturdy defense crumbled against the water sprite’s eroding attacks. The air sylph danced gracefully, evading the fiery salamander’s scorching strikes. But it was the Radiant angel that truly captured the crowd’s love.

Wielding a child-sized spear of pure light, the glowing avatar moved with ethereal grace, smiting its opponents one by one. Finally, it stood alone, holding spear and wings high as it turned to the crowd in glory.

The audience actually shook the stands with cheers and stomping, as if they had just watched some kind of provocative blood-sport.

Sebastien looked to the judges, who seemed to be…exchanging coin under the table?

“Seventy contribution points,” one stood up and yelled, which was met with resumed cheers from the audience.

Sebastien grinned, rolling her shoulders and rubbing her forehead to release some of the tension that intense concentration had caused to tighten her muscles. Again, it was more than she perhaps deserved. This had taken barely any preparation, and left nothing of value behind, and yet she earned as much as she had for her Practical Casting exhibition last term.

More bribes for being a last-minute stand in,’ she concluded. ‘But perhaps this, rather than signing up from the beginning, is actually the optimal strategy for earning maximum contribution points. I might do it again next term.

After that, the Sympathetic Science exam proceeded much as it had the previous term. Now that she understood transmogrification better, Sebastien attempted to refine her strategy slightly. She focused on discerning the connections an average person might make, while also seeking out more unusual associations when she could think of one that seemed particularly poetic.

She had also gotten a lot of practice with easy transmogrification tricks that term, as they ran through hundreds of examples of simple spells in Practical Casting.

As the exam concluded, Sebastien felt cautiously optimistic about her performance. She had balanced the expected responses with more creative connections. Hopefully, if she hadn’t gone overboard into the realm of outlandishness, she might even impress Professor Pecanty again.

As they reconvened after the final exam of the day, Damien appeared much recovered from the previous day’s exhaustion. The entire friend group decided to take the opportunity to observe some of the ongoing exhibitions, rather than put any time into studying for the remaining exams.

As they wandered through the bustling grounds, eating food from stalls rather than visit the cafeteria for dinner, Sebastien managed to get them over to a Practical Casting exhibition.

An upper-term woman was presenting, and the crowd around her buzzed with excitement as she stepped onto the stage.

Without uttering a word or drawing a Circle, the woman raised her hands. A shimmering, spiral-shaped shield of wind materialized before her. As assistants launched various projectiles at her, the wind shield caught and deflected each one with graceful efficiency.

Sebastien wasn’t certain if the faint glow emanating from the spell was intentional—perhaps to make it visible to the audience—or if it indicated some inefficiency in the casting. Regardless, she found herself impressed. A free-cast shield spell seemed like an eminently practical skill for any thaumaturge to develop.

Ana, standing beside Sebastien and Damien, let out a small sigh. “I’ll probably never have anything like that to show for Practical Casting,” she admitted.

“You can do it,” Damien encouraged her.

“No, probably not. I’m barely keeping up in Professor Lacer’s class, and I’m not putting in the hours to catch up to either of you. I might even end up having to re-take this term again.”

Damien scrunched up his forehead. “Why are you taking the class then?”

Ana’s eyes were still fixed on the woman giving the demonstration. “I’m not there because I expect to become a free-caster myself, though if I manage it eventually of course that would be a nice fringe benefit. It’s where the most ambitious thaumaturges of our generation will be found. I’m hoping to network with them, to build connections for the future.”

Damien looked from Ana to Sebastien, and she followed his gaze and nodded. “It’s already paying off.”

Sebastien grinned. “I am the most ambitious thaumaturge of our generation,” she promised.

“Do you hope to surpass Professor Lacer some day?” Damien asked.

Sebastien shook her head, looking back to the stage, where the woman finally grew tired and dropped her shield spell. “I plan to become the most powerful sorcerer in the world.”

She almost expected one of the others to laugh at her, but none of them did.

Practical Casting was Sebastien’s only exam on Wednesday. The test began with a short written portion, heavily focused on glyphs. Sebastien felt confident in her knowledge in that area.

However, she deliberately missed a few answers, particularly those she had learned from Myrddin’s journal. She doubted even the more studious of her peers would know some of them. The decision to hold back grated at her like something was scraping against the bones of her spine, and she acknowledged that she was probably being paranoid, but if anyone had a chance to deduce her secret, it was Professor Lacer.

And he was the one who had given the advice about erasing all hints of a secret’s existence. Impressing Professor Lacer with her unusual knowledge wasn’t worth the risk. Besides, it wasn’t as if these exam results actually mattered for her in the long term. She doubted she would ever have a conventional job working for someone who would care.

After the written portion, students were directed to cubicles outfitted with protective wards. Student aides bustled about, preparing to grade the practical portion, which required only a simple demonstration of a few spells from each of the nine general areas they had practiced throughout the term. They even had a bucket of components prepared for the students to work with.

Sebastien had no trouble with any of it. ‘I’m learning,’ she thought with a deep satisfaction. The spells Professor Lacer had forced them to gain a modicum of experience with ranged from controlling heat and its absence, to creating various gems or earthen armor, to pushing an electrical current through ground the while divining for hidden metals. Over the course of the term, his students had gained a solid grasp on how to use the world around them for a source of power as well as to create various effects.

Most of the spells weren’t really useful outside of niche applications, but there had been so many of them, and it added up to a general level of competence and the versatility to create her own solutions to a wide range of problems.

It was a shame that so many of the spells used components, which she found generally inconvenient, but thought was probably useful to discourage impatient students from trying to free-cast any of the exercises.

Still, she had several ideas for new spells to add to her spell rod, and ways to modify her existing spells for greater versatility.

After the exam, Sebastien and Damien found themselves watching a group of children who had gleefully volunteered to participate in an exhibition. A witch’s elemental, resembling an enormous water blob, “ate” the kids, carrying them around in air bubbles amid shrieks of muffled laughter.

“What are we going to do about... you know?” Damien asked, his voice low and tinged with concern.

Sebastien considered her response carefully. “It is incredibly serious,” she admitted, “but if you’re right, it’s been going on for a while now. It’s not likely to reach a critical turning point overnight. Even if we can confirm that your hypothesis is what’s actually happening, from there we have to figure out what’s causing it to even have a chance of doing something about it.”

“But…do you think we even have a chance? How do we even begin to tackle something of this magnitude?”

“The higher-ups are going to want a lot more information. This isn’t something you need to agonize over,” Sebastien emphasized. “But yes, Damien. We always have a chance. There is always hope as long as you haven’t given up.” Silently, she admitted that this was daunting. If she ended up having to save the world from the failure of magic itself… Well, that seemed eminently more difficult than just becoming the world’s most powerful sorcerer.

Author Note: Sorry it's late this evening. I had to take a nap this afternoon to cool down my melting brain so that I could actually write properly, and that pushed back the rest of my (long) workday well into the evening. I haven't even had a chance to do my customary editing pass, so please inform me of any errors in the prose.

Edit: Forgot to mention that I also did an iteration pass on Chapter 225 to help clarify things, fix issues, and add a lot of new ideas I had when I wasn't totally exhausted. It's improved and somewhat lengthened if you would like to re-read it.

Edit #2: Got back around to do that edit pass on this chapter, with much help from you guys. It's probably not perfect yet but likely a lot more readable.

Comments

I’m hoping we get more of the anecdotes about helping fill in, in the exhibitions, be cool to see her dominate in one she doesn’t even take the class for at allz

Jordan Rogers

Definitely a smoother read after the 2nd edit. I didn't even realise it until the exchange with Professor Burberry which just shows how right/normal the she/her pronouns feel. Do we get another Combat magic area test as part of this? Here's hoping we do as I really enjoyed the last one and it's be cool to see what she could do now

Nytram12

Just wanted to say that I read a lot of fantasy and this is my favorite book series, right up there with Brandon Sanderson. I love the unique world building and logical magic system. It's also so nice to see an FMC who is driven so much by logic and a thirst for knowledge. I feel like I don't see much of it in the genre. I'm autistic and I really relate to her, which is rare.

Sierra King

Just re-read this again (more chuckles). Really enjoyed this chapter. I'm currently fried (long story, won't share) and am finding re-reading your books far more entertaining and relaxing than trying to read several other books for the first time (I've started 5 and not made it far into any of them). I did find a couple of things that got missed - I put possible corrections in brackets in the sentence, and one thing isn't a mistake, just something I noticed this time around. Pronoun issue: As Sebastien took her paper from the woman, Burberry leaned in close put her hand on his [her/Sebastien’s] elbow to keep him [her] from walking on. [so 2 pronouns that need changing] but she doubted that just being able to detect small animals like mice and rats and then wave little clacking sticks would actual [actually] deter vermin for long. They were smarter than people gave them credit for, and hunger was [a] great impetus for bravery It made for a good story, but rarely were huge movements and the shifting of power caused by a single man, good or evil. – [should “man” be “person”?]

Melinda Hutson

Azalea addressed this in earlier comments - mistake

Melinda Hutson

There’s quite a few points where Sebastien is referred to as He in the text, not in dialogue, when it’s usually been She. Curious if that’s a mistake or if it’s intentional

Damian Karis

Who she would make the Victor.

Phsteven

What do you think the judges were betting on?

Jordan Alexander

I really loved the subtext of the judges, teachers, administration center staff and runners POVs. I know it caused a lot of pronoun issues but it was fun trying to read into the sub context. Would love to revisit this chapter maybe with a short extra chapter from their POVs / thoughts on Sebastien. If you get extra time in the future. Exam day from the teacher / judge / staff POV. Judges betting on stuff, teachers worried about Sebastien, administration staff for some reason super excited he's signing up to fill spots. Lacer maybe watching in the background or hearing from other teachers / judges. Impressed or worried about the various impromptu exhibitions.

Alex

Yeah! I remember when I was reading the beginning of the chapter and she was heing herself and I thought "is this evidence of a psychological break splitting the personalities?" And then got to the end and the note about editing and I was like "ah I see" but it shows incredibly consistent you are that the mistakes jumped out to everyone!

Kaelik

Sebastien's 4 remaining classes (assuming the wouldn't ask her to repeat something for History or Modern Magic) are Gnorrish's, Pecanty's, Fekten's and Lacer's classes. I wonder how Lacer would feel about an impromptu Practical Casting exhibition? Sympathetic magic and Defense might also be hilarious (though Fekten appears to lack a sense of humor). Have no idea what a Natural Science exhibition would entail.

Melinda Hutson

Taught -> Taut really early in the chapter (my comment got lost so I dont have the context anymore)

Erika

I thought that there would be a third impromptu exhibition. Third time's the charm after all. It was so hilarious that I hoped for more. Anyways, the comedic timing in this chapter is really good. And the title is too lol. I really enjoyed this chapter.

Viktor Alexia

I assumed they just betted which elemental would win. 😂

Apep

Tftc 'They were full of notes from Liza’s mentor,' Ilmas* mentor? I also noticed that "he/him" was used a couple of times when Sebastien was referring to herself, which i dont think is usually the case

Tjolbin

Okay, with that other stuff out of the way I just have to say that this chapter is really really great and the revisions you went back and did are too, both on last chapter and on the previous edits of your editing pass, but I also want to jump in and give you the Burberry talk and remind you that you might have unrealistically high standards for yourself, and that your health is important, including not putting yourself through too much stress just to satisfy us. I also have to say that I love Gnorrish sooooo damn much. He continues to be such a great teacher who puts in extra effort to make things engaging for all of his students, and I would be super excited to see him becoming more of a mentor figure to Sebastien later on when she finally gets to upper-level transmutation classes

Keid

My thought was that the bet was about how big of an audience that Sebastien would pull in, since that's something that is easier to get an objective measure, and would be easier for people who have never directly interacted with her before to have a guess on.

Keid

I think they are betting on whether her exhibitions are better than everyone else’s.

JKlarinet

S. is hilariously confused that her competence is rewarded. The descriptions of her magic are wonderful.

JKlarinet

First, the copy edit pass before I move on to gushing about how great this chapter was: "They were full of notes from Liza’s mentor," Ilma's mentor. "as she stepped onto a the stage." Double article. "pushing an electrical current through the while divining for hidden metals." presumably, that's through the earth? the something? Not a typo, but: "Please don’t hurt yourself just to impress someone who’s forgotten what it’s like to be a child." I feel like Burberry is a bit clueless in some respects, but I feel like even she would probably recognize that just about any of her adult students would probably bristle at the implication of being a child, and this doesn't seem like a deliberate provocation. Maybe, "young," "just starting out," or, "a student," instead of, "a child"? Also, in terms of pronoun stuff, the history exhibition organizer seems to be using singular they/them pronouns, without it even being worth noting that their gender is ambiguous or that they are explicitly known to not be a man or woman. If this was an intentional move, I'm actually 1000% for it and appreciate the inclusion and all of the worldbuilding implications that this might have... But it also might have been the case that you forgot to give them a gender in your head, and that just spilled out into Sebastien failing to perceive one in her direct interactions with them.. I'm fairly certain that this is the first time in this entire story that they/them pronouns were used for a specific individual who's gender presentation the PoV character could directly observe, so it at very least seems worth noting.

Keid

" Suddenly, she realized". You were using masculine pronouns before that. After that you have used feminine pronouns.

Phil Haddock

No worries! You do great work! This is currently my favorite ongoing work of fiction. Take care of yourself first and foremost so you don't risk a burnout!

FeelingsandFoibles

Thanks for the chapter! I wonder if the professors are betting on whether Sebastian can pull off the impromptu exhibits lol.

billwanchalo

Go to sleep, Adspartan! You are not Siobhan and cannot live without. But thanks. I'll be fixing/smoothing this stuff tomorrow.

Azalea Ellis

This was wonderful fun. I love these exhibition chapters!

Jill Alters

Not intentional! Everyone has noticed so I don't want to repeat my comments, but see previous replies if you want more info on how this happens to me. I was too ridiculously exhausted to do my normal edit pass but I will go through and smooth things out tomorrow. Over the last 3 days, I have done the work that would normally go into 4 or 5 days, and I just couldn't keep going.

Azalea Ellis

All good, it really shows how consistent you have been because it super stuck out to me how wrong it was when I read it

Cole

Ugh, yes, apparently. I gave a longer response about it to Melinda, but normally I make this mistake when I'm THINKING from non-Sebastien/Siobhan perspectives while still WRITING in S's perspective.

Azalea Ellis

Thank you as always! I'll work through all this stuff tomorrow. The he/she stuff I noticed I was doing a couple times, but didn't know how egregious it was. It happens generally when I'm spending a lot of time thinking about events from someone else's perspective. A lot of this chapter I was thinking about how Sebastien was perceived from outsiders, and how to hint at stuff that Sebastien wasn't picking up herself, and apparently it led to a lot of pronoun issues.

Azalea Ellis

Okay, so I cracked up laughing several times. I really enjoyed this. BTW - the revisions on Ch 225 made it much better as well. The downside, as you said, is that you didn't have time to make another pass on Ch 226 Below are some of the things that might need changing??? “Giving Sebastien the report on his research seemed to have released something held taught” – taught should be taut. “Sebastien watched him with a growing sense of guilt. Damien’s exhaustion was almost entirely due to the research project he had encouraged him to pursue” – the “he” after research project refers to Sebastien. Should it be -“she”? “Sebastien unbuttoned the light summer jacket of his suit and rested it over Damien’s head” – should it be “her” suit? “make sure he gets to the exam in time.” The still had about forty-five minutes” – The should be they “The atmosphere was festive and hectic, but slightly less panicked than he remembered from” – he should be she? (Sebastien) “As Sebastien took his paper from her, Burberry leaned in close put her hand on his elbow to keep him from walking on” his-her? Two instances: paper and elbow “him-her”? “Sebastien stood there, somewhat baffled by Burberry’s words, and then walked on to his seat when she gave him a nod.” – his-her seat and gave him-her a nod? “He guessed that somehow, word about his lack of sleep must have reached her ears. He tried to be discreet, but it was impossible to keep people from noticing when a light was glowing from his cubicle in the middle of the night. Not unless he wanted to make more elaborate renovations to the small space.” He-she guessed his-her lack He-she tried his-her cubicle he-she wanted Changed from masculine to feminine in this paragraph: “It was a stark reminder that he needed to find a more discreet way to manage his nocturnal activities. Suddenly, she realized that it had been a mistake not to sign up for any of the exhibitions. Sure, she hadn’t had time to prepare anything impressive, but without an extra source of contribution points, she was unlikely to ever get out of the dormitory.” He-she needed his-her nocturnal “When he was finished, Sebastien decided to take Ana’s advice, and made "her way through the combined crowds of students and civilians to the administration center in the library.” – he-she was finished “What would the world be like to day if” – to day should be today “They were full of notes from Liza’s mentor, and surely held sentimental weight.” Should “Liza” be “Professor Ilma”? “she added a two central glyphs” – please remove “a” – should read she added two central glyphs “The entire friend group decided to take the opportunity observe some of the ongoing exhibitions,” – need “to” between opportunity and observe “As they wandered through over the bustling grounds” – should it be either “through” or “over”? “and she acknowledge that she was probably being paranoid” – need a “d” on acknowledge “electrical current through the while divining for hidden metals” – through the [what?] while divining “his students had gained a solid grasp on how to use the world around her for a source of power” – her should be them? “watching a group of children who had gleefully volunteered participate in an exhibition” – need a “to” between volunteered and participate Found a couple of additional things that I'm not sure anyone caught (am enjoying the re-read and chuckling): " “I just needed a black curtain for a backdrop" - probably need instead of needed? "she began to absorb and bend the light with the Circle to her Will" - should with be within? "Seventy contribution points,” one stood out and yelled" - should "out" be "up"?

Melinda Hutson

Ok so the first instance is here: "Damien’s exhaustion was almost entirely due to the research project he had encouraged him to pursue" I haven't noticed any in the later half of the chapter, but starting from there it's mostly he/him, then it's mixed before going back to she/her.

Adspartan

Everyone is saying the same things, but yeah lots of wrong pronouns in this chapter.

Cole

1) electrical current sentence missing something. 2) a lot of early sebastians are "he/him" even when she's thinking to herself. Though it seems like you got into the voice because it stops happening part way in. 3) ilma's books apparently have margin notes from liza's mentor. A fun chapter! I love how brazen Anna can be.

Kaelik

"As Sebastien took his paper from her" - I think you normally use she/her for "Sebastien", no? Edit: Looks like a lot of cases of that in a row. You go back to using "her" in the middle of another paragraph, a few lines down. (And looks like Adspartan noticed this before me)

Flying Goat

Maybe I'm wrong, but in the beginning middle, there's a lot of back and forth as far as sebastiens pronouns go? He/him to she/her and back. Is that intentional? An attempt at deeper levels of thought partitioning maybe? I don't know but I figured I'd point it out just in case! Also: group of children who had gleefully volunteered participate in an exhibition. >volunteered TO participate

FeelingsandFoibles

That's a nice trick to get contribution points ! (she might be underestimating her talent there though) It was nice to be able get a glimpse of all the exams. And now the break is there, I bet it's going be chill and without complications for Siobhan... surely !

Adspartan

he was finished, Sebastien Starting here I noticed

Milan Seyed Mahmoud

I very much look forward to Fekten’s practical exam.

James Barclay

I started awake about five minutes after you posted this chapter. Clearly, you managed to trip my wards ;p - the only comment I can make (coherently?) at 3am is that I absolutely adored being back in university Sebastien mode. Seeing how much she learned and how she did the exhibitions (yes!!) made me unreasonably happy. As always, thank you for the chapter!

Hannah

Honestly there's a lot of them at the start of the chapter, then it mostly switch back to feminine pronouns, I'll try to get a list tomorrow if you want but it's 4 am here so I'm going to sleep :/

Adspartan

Not sure. Can you point out the sentence it's in so I can do an F-search?

Azalea Ellis

Hmm, is the use of "He/Him" from Siobhan as Sebastien deliberate or a typo ?

Adspartan

Was wondering when this was gonna pop up lol

ShadyTundra

Exams time !

Adspartan


More Creators