Chapter 692 - Practically made for the job

Killing the walls did not work. Even Pestle’ sharp claws failed to leave a single scratch, and the Sofia couldn’t summon the graveyard nymphs to go through, leaving her with no choice other than going about this the regular way. She summoned the birds and the rats and sat down in the slowly flooding room while they searched the place faster than she ever could herself.

“Alright… We have some downtime here. Getting out of here can’t be too hard surely… Why not use the free time to do some advertising?”

“Advertising?” Bookie repeated, sitting in front of her with Pestle on his lap.

“Of course. Let’s see…”

[Live spectator count - Sofia Aphenoreth : 27305]

“Yeah, almost thirty thousand people watching us do nothing right now. If it isn’t the perfect time to get some messages across I don’t know what is.”

“Are you gonna ask for skeleton?!”

“Not what I had in mind but that certainly is an option. What I wanted to do was something else though. Now that everyone knows about us it is going to be impossible to hide. We can say goodbye to our peaceful life, but that has some advantages. To begin with, I think this is a good time to remind the people watching about all of our generous backers. We wouldn’t want anyone to get any funny ideas.”

“Like the thanks at the beginning of book?”Bookie asked.

“Pretty much? So let’s see. You who are watching, if you want to start shit with me, my close friends or family, here are some people who might come after you. To begin with, we have my grandma, Erredis. I think that ought to deter most adventurous people already, but just in case, I’ll give you the comprehensive list. For dragons, we also have Zephir, and Phillip I would assume, perhaps also headmaster Belignus. Though we are not that close, I am on good terms with all three. There is one more but I am not at the liberty of disclosing it right now. No fairies aside from Pestle here, but I am open to diplomatic talks, especially since I will be coming later to retrieve the Wheel of Progress, do feel free to send a messenger or something. In terms of the Kleptras, I cannot go into details again but Seraph Zgat seems to have show particular interest about one of my friends, do feel free to reach out also. Of course getting a Kleptran skeleton would be great, but I wouldn’t dare touch one without your royals’ direct approval so… Yeah I will leave it at that.”

“That’s it?!” Bookie exclaimed, “What about uncle?!”

“Of course that’s not it, we’re just getting started. Next we have our more… Grounded? Allies and friends, again in no particular order, we can count on backing from Richard, better known TLDR, I guess, as well as Saintess Valeur. I would take out my badge of the Saint alliance but I do not have my items right now. I’m also on good terms with Leverlehoenmoll, and would love to get to know more apostles. Saint Tartaros would probably be at least mildly annoyed if something happened to me as I’m sure he is eagerly waiting for the day in the futrue when we have a proper duel. Professor Eternam Aoldun is a friend also, I hope you opened my last letter, by the way. I also have the backing of the Red Winds Empire and Vasperia, for what that is worth. And lastly among the Seraphs I am on good terms with at least Sen, I truly appreciate what you did for me back then.”

“You still forgot the uncles!” Bookie cried out as Sofia stopped to catch her breath.

“Bookie, I’m keeping the best for last. Besides, they all know. So, next! On the godly side, I am on good terms with Sun, Victory, Creation, Moon, Knowledge, and Speed. And I am hoping to add at least Blood, Sleep, Water and Progress to that list. And I suppose Life, also. But she has more pressing things to worry about at the moment. On the Recessed side, I am proud to call myself Sorrow’s daughter, as I’m sure you have all witnessed. But I also have the support of Death and Taxes, and at least a positive relationship with Rejection, Curse, Hatred, Dread and Domination. Other Recessed please show up in Cinthia’s chat if you would like your name added to the list.”

Bookie scratched his skull, “I didn’t realize we knew so many people.”

“This is just the list of the strongest ones, most well-known ones, but yes we have made quite a few allies in out quest to return scripture to the void, haven’t we? I know you’re probably watching, by the way. You know what I think about you, I hope you count the days in dread, I will be coming for you and once I’m done playing with your corpse Bookie here will feast on your bones to make you our eternal slave. Please wait patiently.”

“Yummy!”

“And last but not least, there reason many people are watching to begin with, my namesake… Yes, I am Aphenoreth’s adoptive daughter, and have personally met with all four of the Lords,” Sofia said with an innocent smile, “I believe nothing more needs to be said about that.” 

“Uncle Orator even created me!”

“True. That kind of makes you a demilord, now that I think about it.”

“I’m just a book!” Bookie correct, shaking his skull.

“Technically true. Want to add anything to the conversation, Pestle, you haven’t said much.”

Pestle stood up on Bookie’ lap, her tiny frame radiating a menacing aura. “Fae Ones. If try kill Sofia or Bookie, I Ravager One, hunt you and ancestor like Klepra until am last One alive. Warned,” she announced with her arms crossed. As she sat back down, Sofia noticed the water starting to overflow out of the room’s pool and slowly creeping toward her feet. 

It’s relatively slow, we maybe have an hour ahead of us?

“Not what I expected but I appreciate it, Pestle. Let’s hope we won’t need to go there. We will also hunt anyone who tries to harm you.” 

“Very hunt,” Pestle contentedly repeated with continuous nods.

“Well, that was a bit longer than expected. Now for the other announcements. I will be creating a small city-state at the southern end of the human continent, just west of the Spirit forest. There is not much there for now, but I hope to make it a thriving place in due time. I will be looking for someone to help me with city planning and administration shortly. All undead welcome.”

“A city state?” Bookie repeated.

“Yes, like a small country I would be the ruler of. I always wear a crown a scepter and a cape, after all, so I already dress the part. I’m still a bit weak for the job, I suppose, but I assume I can reach level 400 by the time the city is up and running.”

Sofia stopped to think for a bit.

“I also would like to remind all divinities watching once again that I am looking for more divine essence. I can also offer my services to clean up any corruption sprouting from the remains of a dead god, no matter which plane it’s in, Speed can vouch for my abilities on that front, price negotiable, just send me a message. It will be a surprise to no one, but I am also interested in buying skeletons…”

Sofia finished her main speech by advertising her friends’ business like Alith’s potions and Zerei’s school, and spent the rest of the time just having a casual chat with Bookie and Pestle.

When the cursed water just about reached her waist, it was finally time to stop as the rats had found the exit.

“That’s enough chatter for today, let us resume this event, Er’Gakk must be getting impatient.”

As Sofia stood up, she checked the number of spectators a second time.

Wait, it actually went up?

I just spent half an hour sitting and talking about random shit, and the number of people watching rose by three thousand? What is wrong with these people?

In another place, a certain red-skinned orc was drowning under endless text messages.

[Unclean lord]: I swear, every time she says ‘lord’ I look at my nickname and feel like a fraud. It might be time to change it…

[|||||]: ( •o•)

[Twistyface]: Calling yourself a lord, what could possibly go wrong?

[Unclean lord]: Hey I picked this name before I even knew they were a thing! Lord is an actual word you know!!!

[TheUnJailed]: I don’t think it matters too much as long as you don’t mess up like I did…

[ResoundingEchoes]: It’s fine, who here wouldn’t try to FUCKING BREAK CAUSALITY to save their cute avian daughter, AM I RIGHT?

[TheUnJailed]: I REGRET NOTHING! MY DAUGHTER IS THE CUTEST!

[Daddy Hatred]: STOP WRITING IN ALL UPPERCASE YOU FREAKS, YOU POLLUTE CINTHIA’S CHAT!

[Unclean earl]: I guess that will have to do…

[Crybaby]: So… Is anyone going to donate?

[Halfsies]: Paid my due already.

[Crowface]: I might, I have to admit your daughter has good tastes. Why do you yourself not give more, though?

[Crybaby]: It would be bad with how I managed her Apostle form… But I will be able to as soon as this trial is over!

[SleepyMess]: Are we finally going to see if bars is right about what the quantic transposition skill is?

[|||||]: (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)

[TallBro]: *Puts on glasses* I’m more curious about the Looming situation, it’s been a long time since we’ve had a new stable presence.

[|||||]: …

[|||||]: About that…