My Debt: and how I plan to pay it off with my secret life

Hey all

Read the following story idea i've come up with and rate it from 1 -5 on if you think it has potential.

1 = no potential (this is non starter)

5= Absolutely this needs to be continued

The last of my keyboard strokes are accompanied by a long sigh. Although I don’t find my job all that stressful, it’s my circumstances in which I got to be in the job that make it stressful. Those ‘circumstances’ mean I’m on high alert at all times, and it’s exhausting.

See, about a year ago, I lost my mother to her battle with cancer. She was my everything, and I found myself lost and directionless. It was only me and her and I don’t have any other family that I know of. My father, I know next to nothing about.

It’s one of those situations where my mother wouldn’t want to talk about him, so I stopped asking.

My mother’s death left me with a debt almost impossible to pay. She did her best to shield me from the stress of it, but after passing—it’s all been left to me.

Now, I’m not angry about that. It’s not her fault. What that meant is that I needed to get a job and I needed to get a job quick. Now, if you’re anything like me, you played the ‘class clown’ at school and didn’t do very well. I didn’t go to university and my prospects aren’t great.

However, I did manage to find myself something. Actually, pretty well paid! The catch, however, is I couldn’t apply to this job as regularly old me. I had to get…creative.

You might be wondering what I mean by that. Let’s just say after a year of living my new life, I don’t regret the decision at all. Yes, at times, I’m super stressed about those who work around me finding out. Other times, I’m privileged to work with great people and be privy to parts of life I shouldn’t be.

“And send…,” I sigh in relief as I send the very last email of Friday afternoon. I lean back in my hair and stretch out.

“Layla….!” My buddy in the office says, grabbing my attention.

I look over to a few desks down and give her a big smile. “Yeah, Susie, what’s up?”

Susie gives me a cheeky smile as she tilts her head to one side. “Are you going to stop being so mysterious and join the rest of us for a Friday afternoon drink?”

“I’m not mysterious,” I answer back, knowing exactly what she’s referring to.

Susie gives me a suspicious look. “Yeah, you are,” she answers abruptly. “We’ve worked together for nearly an entire year, and I’ve never even seen you outside of this place! I’m starting to think you aren’t real, Layla.”

“One day you will,” I laugh nervously. “I’m just not much of a people person.”

“No, evidently.”

Brushing hair from my eyes, I stand and straighten down my skirt. Like every day, my high heels are punching and I’m desperate to get changed into something more comfortable.

“So, are you coming?” Susie asks, watching me gather up all my stuff.

Closing my workstation and giving it a quicky tidy, I gather my belongs. Due to my ‘circumstances,’ I have to bring a fair amount of clobber into work. I’m forever getting the same joke from staff here, asking me if I’m going on holiday. I just brush it off with a peal of laughter and then explain I’m going around my boyfriends.

“Are you around Freddy’s tonight?” Susie questions as I pull out my baggage from under my desk.

Freddy isn’t a real person. I made him up to keep everyone off my back. None of them know that, so I just agree with Susie and give her a warm smile. “Yup,” I reply. “We are having a cozy night in.”

“Are you…?” Susie says in a sour tone. “When am I going to meet ‘Mr Perfect’ anyways? You always talk about him, but I’ve not even seen a picture!”

Getting into a conversation I really don’t want to have with her, I shy away from the question. I’ve told her so many things about the non-existent Freddy I’ve started to forget what I’ve told her. She’s going to notice I’m lying at some point.

With the sting of embarrassment on my cheeks, my reluctance to answer has her intrigued. Susie gets up from her seat and comes and stands by my desk.

“What kinda girl are you?” she asks, talking privately so the rest of the office doesn’t hear.

Instantly, I’m spooked by the question and become flustered. Is she on to me!? “T-the g-girl kind!” I reply in an instant in an attempt not to seem suspicious.

Susie folds her arms and rolls her eyes. “Layla,” she complains. “We’re supposed to be work best mates, and I’ve not even seen what your boyfriend looks like.” Susie leans in and begins to whisper. “Most of the other girls on this floor have shown me. I know what a lot of their partner's junk looks like, and yet, you, my best friend, I know nothing!”

Susie leans away from me with a smile on her face. “So,” she says confidently. “Come join me for a drink, or I’m going to start thinking you don’t want to be my friend.”

Between a rock and a hard place, sweat starts to bead down from my forehead. I know I need to get away from the conversation as quickly as possible.

“I er…,” I mumble, unable to look her in the eye. “I erm… need to go toilet.”

“Oh, it’s like that, is it!” Susie chuckles playfully. “What is it you're hiding from my Layla? Why are you so against hanging out outside of work!”

Taking hold of the handle to my wheely language, I start to walk away from her, laughing the whole thing off as a joke.

“Layla!” Susie complains, watching me head towards the toilet. “How long are you going to be. We’re all going to drinks straight from work! Please come out with us!”

“It’s number two!” I shout back. “Don’t wait up for me!”

“Again….?” Layla,” Susie grumbles. “I know it’s good to be regular, hon! But really!?”  

Turning the corner towards the bathrooms, I look back over my shoulder at her and, again, laugh it off as a joke. However, my heart is beating like crazy, I’m sweating hard and my face must be as red as a tomato.

I don’t know how long I can keep up the whole charade. It’s becoming harder and harder as I get deeper and deeper into this new life of mine. But I can’t just quit. I’ve gotta do this.

I push open the door to the female toilets and rush towards the stall at the end. My heels clack loudly as I rush over, but lucky for me, the room is empty.

Closing the stall door behind me, I park my backside on the toilet seat and take a moment to catch my breath.

After a moment or two, I reach up to my long hair and undo my ponytail. I breathe a sigh of relief as my hair falls around my shoulders. I think I might have tied it up too tight this morning. It’s been giving me a bit of a headache.

Rubbing my face, I wonder just how long I can keep it up. Swinging my purse from my shoulder, I dig into it and begin my after-work routine. That involves sitting in this toilet for the next thirty minutes, playing games on my phone until I know everyone in the office has gone.

Crossing my legs to get comfortable, I swipe open my phone and resume my game. You might think this a little weird, but I have my reasons. Plus, after a long day, it’s nice to have some personal space. You could almost say that this toilet stall is like my happy place.

Having completed several puzzles on my game, I know that’s usually enough time for the building to have cleared out. Putting my phone back into my bag, I reach for my stuff and begin to get undressed.

I unbutton my skirt and let it fall to the floor around my heels. Opening my lauage case, I reach in for my more comfortable male trousers. See, I get fully redressed for the ride home.

Stepping out of my skirt, I sit back down on the toilet and gladly remove my heels. Then, I slowly and carefully bunch up my tights and roll them down each leg.

Once off, I run my hand down one leg and winch at how hairy they are. I'm not a fan of shaving them so often. I need to build up the courage to get them waxed.

As I look down at myself, the door to my cubical swings open with a bang and the blood drains from my shave. Instantly, I start shaking in fear as I’m half-dressed, with my secret exposed for all to see.

I can feel the rude person looming over me. I can almost feel them glaring at me. So, I cross my legs as tight as they will go and slowly look up in terror at the person who has burst in on me.

“Layla!” Susie shrieks with her and covers her mouth.

I frown hair at her and try desperately to slam the door closed on her, but she stands in the way. She looks just as mortified as I do.

“You’ve got a….” Susie goes silent for a moment and just stares down at my legs. “P-penis…” she eventually continues, forcing the word from her mouth.

I die in shame, knowing that she’s burst in on me getting changed. It’s tucked away nicely in my gaff, but I supposed without my skirt on, the bulge is there to be seen!

“You’re trans!?” she shouts, flicking both her hands like she’s having a sensory overload.

“Shhhh!” I growl back at her. “Don’t shout out so loud!”

“Is this why you won’t come out with us girls!?” she asks, nervously rocking in her heels.

Looking awkward in any direction, but at her, I nod.

Susie’s demeanor shifts in an instant, and she stuffs herself inside the cubical with me. Closing the door behind herself, she begins to whisper. “I had no idea!” she admits. “Man, you’re one sexy…..man.”

“Thanks…I think.”

“However,” she continues to whisper wagging her finger at me as I remain bolted to the toilet seat. “Having a sausage doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be coming out with your friends!”

“It’s not that I don’t want to!” I explain, wanting her desperately to give me more space. “I had to take this job here as a woman. It’s not my choice to be this way. I’m not trans!”

Susie gives me a suspect expression. She then looks me up and down and gives me a shake of her head. “I don’t believe that for one second,” she says. “What guy would go to this,” she points at my chest, “level of gender transformation just for a job?”

“Me,” I reply plainly.

Susie shakes her head and then brings a hand to her face. “I have so many questions.”

“I only have one,” I reply sarcastically. “Can you leave me alone now!?”

Susie stands and gives me a little bit of space. However, I can see her trying to catch another glimpse of my package through my crossed legs.

“What are you even doing!?” she asks, taking hold of the trousers I was about to put on.

Before I can even answer, she works it out.

“Wait,” she giggles, laughing at me. “You change back into your ‘boy’ self before you leave, don’t you!?”

I remain silent, but I agree with a nod. She’s caught me red-handed. No point in lying.

“Oh, Layla…,” she giggles some more, throwing the trousers at me. “Why?”

“It’s my landlord,” I answer, catching the trousers and gladly covering my legs with them. “He knows I’m a guy. If I come back as Layla, he will ask questions. I’m already in enough trouble as it is.”

“Likely story,” Susie says, reaching down for my office skirt. “Put this back on. You’re coming out with us, and I won’t hear no for an answer.”

“Susie!” I shriek utterly surprised by how mean she’s being.

“Layla…,” she responds like my mother. “Part of me really wanted to believe the ‘boyfriend’ lie. But now I know the truth, you’re coming out with us and you’re going to have a good time!”

“No,” I say petulantly, threading one leg into my trousers. (Pants for you lovely Americans)

“You are!” Susie swipes the trousers from my hand.

As we wrestle with them, she eventually wins and throws them over the cubical wall. With a triumphant look on her face, she snaps a photo of me sitting on the toilet seat, all in my glory.

“I don’t want to do this,” she says, looking down at me with a serious expression. “But if you don’t come out with us tonight, I’m going to create a dating page for you using this image!”

I look up at her angrily. “You wouldn’t!”

“I would!” she grins.

“Fine!” I complain, snatching at my skirt that’s on the toilet floor. “But I’m not saying for long. If my landlord catches me like this—he will kick me out and I won’t have anywhere to live.”

“Nah,” Susie says flippantly with a flick of her wrist. “Use your womanly charms, hon. Tell you what. Me and the girls will teach you a thing or two about how to attract men, Okay?”

“Sure,” I sigh. “You’re paying for drinks, though. You know how broke I am.”

“Yes!” Susie throws one hand up into the air. “I knew I’d eventually work out why you’re like a ghost outside of work, and now I have! My patience has paid off!”

“You waited all that time outside the bathroom, didn’t you?” I ask, annoyed at her but impressed by her dedication.

“Yup.”