Lara's Epilouge Story

 DISCLAIMER***

this might be out of context for those who haven't seen the end of Matt's Story. Sorry if its spoilers

Lara’s Story Epilogue (feedback wanted)

The river is calm as the golden hour kisses everything with a gorgeous tint of gold. Usually, I’d love sitting here, watching the trees gently sway and listening to the birds sing. But all I can think about is Jade and her stupid face and her stupid, pretty blonde hair!

I fold my legs and my arms tight and wonder why she bothers me so much. We’ve not been on speaking terms for so long and I thought by now I’d be over her!

All of this recently as only made things more mixed up in my brain! Everything with Barry. Meeting Sonya. Even Matt’s coming out has me a little riled up.

Reaching into the pocket of the school pants I’m borrowing from Sonya, I pull out my phone. I’ve got several missed calls from Sonya. I bet she’s worried about me. I know I’m worried about her.

I shouldn’t have stormed off like that. Now, I’ve left her walking about in my uniform without a change of clothes. She’s going to hate me now!

I ruin everything!

I’m the reason my parents split up.

It’s my fault that my childhood friend hates me.

I was the one suggesting Matt and Sonya join us that weekend. I put Sonya ask risk.

Now I’ve gone and left her all high and dry. What’s wrong with me!?

A tear drops from my face and lands on my phone screen. I don’t even bother to wipe it away. I just sink into the bench, wishing it would all just go away.

Why do I even care? Would it be easier not the care? Why can’t I stop beating myself up?

I’m gay.

Would things be different if I wasn’t?

Staring into oblivion, another tear falls from my chin. I can’t stop myself from sobbing. I can’t stop my heart from aching.

Why is she back in my life again? How did that even happen!?

I wipe the tears from my eyes and grit my teeth in anger. How could Jade just kiss me like that!? After all that happened between us!? How she threw me under the bus and didn’t even take a second to think about how it might affect me!

I look up into the even sky, and the tears stream down the back of my face.

I was just starting to feel like me again. I was starting to smile again. Laugh again. I’d made a new friend who needed me as much as I needed her. Sonya gives me the confidence to be myself and I hope I do the same for her!

I close my eyes tight.

Everyone sees me as a beauty queen. I hate it. Why can’t they see how broken I feel on the inside. Why must I play this character that everyone wants me to be? Why do I give in to their peer pressure to be popular?

Why did I play into it!? Why did I even give Barry a chance? I knew he was a jerk from the first day I met him.

I lower my head and shrink into myself. Slowly opening my eyes, I look down at my lap and my phone that I’m still clutching in my hand.

It’s getting late. I should probably go home. Dad will be lost without me.

Stuffing the phone back into my pocket, I wipe my eyes with my sleeve and get up from the bench. Sonya’s pants are a little tight around the backside, but they are keeping me warm. Much warmer than when I sit here in my skirt.

Allowing my shoulders to sag, I walk, looking down at the floor with my hair covering my face. I don’t want anyone to see or talk to me. I just want to go to bed.

I move slowly at first, but as I get closer to the trial and the cut-open fence, I start moving a little quicker. Dad’s probably worried. Since Mom left, he’s been a completely different person. I want to help him, but I can’t.

Mom leaving him for that other man has ruined him. I know too well just how heartbreaking a woman can be. I feel bad for him, but I’ve got my own stuff going on.

The slightly muddy trail quickly turns back to concrete, and I’m surrounded by suburbia. I don’t want anyone to see me, so I walk just that little bit quicker.

Folding my arms tight for comfort, I walk, staring at the shoes I’m borrowing from Sonya. Seeing them only serves as a reminder of how awful I’ve been as a friend.

That girl looks up to me like I’m her big sister.

I’ve always wanted a sister, so I’m happy to share all my tips about makeup, outfits, and being feminine, but will she want to come over anymore after today? Will she want to hang out and just chat? Will she want me to be that big sister anymore?

Probably for the best she doesn’t? I only make things worse.

“Lara…..,” A voice calls out behind me.

I’m shocked, and it makes me jump in freight. Franticly, I wipe at my eyes to hide the face I’ve been crying. I even start walking quicker in the hopes they won’t catch up to me.

“Oi, Lara!” the familiar voice shouts again.

I don’t stop or look around. Whoever it is, I don’t want to care.

Footsteps get closer behind me. It’s a male voice! God, I hope it’s not Matt. He’s going to moan and whine at me for ditching him and his lover. I really wish he’d make up his mind and decide if he wants Sonya or not.

Poor Sonya. I know how much she worries about hurting him and losing her best friend.

“Oi Stop,” the voice growls, standing directly behind me.

I look around, knowing exactly who’s voice it is. I’m scared.

“B-Barry?” I say, turning around but hiding my face.

“You death now as well as dumb?” Barry huffs, turning up his nose. “I’ve been calling out to you.”

I look away and down at the floor. “Leave me alone,” I reply, holding back the tears.

Expecting Barry to react negatively, I’m surprised when he just lets out a long sigh. I look at him, and he’s not puffing out his chest like usual, trying to make himself look bigger.

“Lara,” He says with a long breath. “Just listen to me.”

“I don’t care what you have to say, Barry,” I snarl, gritting my teeth. “Leave me alone.”

With a flick of my long hair, I sharply turn away, hoping he will do just that.

“Wait!” Barry pleads desperately. “Please.”

With my back facing him, I stop walking and just stand in the middle of the pathway. Still staring at Sonya’s shoes, I do and say nothing more. He steps up behind me but doesn’t touch me.

“I always…… knew,” Barry says reluctantly like it almost hurt him to speak. “I knew our relationship was forced, Lara. We both wanted something from each other.”

My heart almost stops I’m so surprised by his words. Still with tears in my eyes, I turn to look at him, and his trademark smugness is gone. Replaced by genuine sorrow

“W-what do you mean?” I ask, wiping the tears away as I look up at him.

Barry leans up against a nearby fence and stuffs his hands into his pockets. “We both needed each other to keep up appearances,” Barry replies, kicking a stone across the path. “I always knew, but I never meant to hurt you.”

I grit my teeth and remember how much Sonya was shaking when I found them that night. Had I been any later, I dread to think of what he might have done to the poor girl.

“Never meant to hurt me….!?” I scoff in reply, thinking I should turn and walk away. “That’s crap, Barry. You knew what you were doing.”

Barry huffs angrily in response. I watch him hold his hands in his pockets, forcing himself to remain calm.

“Yes,” he answers, lowering his head in shame. “I did know what I was doing. But then, so did you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” I gasp.

“I needed a girlfriend. You needed a boyfriend,” Barry replies bluntly. “We both did what we needed to do to stop the rumors. I always knew, Lara, so don’t deny it.”

I instantly look away, knowing he’s right. How low I’ve fallen.

“Look,” Barry says plainly. “I’m sorry for those times I pressured you to do stuff with me. I just thought you’d be just as keen to squash those rumors as I was. How was I to know you’d end up inviting a ‘girl’ to my family cabin that you clearly had a crush on.”

Barry kicks again at the floor. “Then all you wanted to do was spend time with her. Like I wasn’t good enough, leaving me with that dork. I told everyone we were going to the cabin that weekend to make love, Lara.”

“That’s disgusting, Barry,” I say in revulsion. “Also, shut up. I didn’t invite Sonya because I had a crush on her, Barry. I invited her because I was lonely!”

“Lonely?” Barry scoffs, throwing me a quick but filthy look. “All my buddies adore you! Also, what about all those girls at school who were desperate to be close to you? I’m not buying it, Lara. You weren’t lonely. You were horney.”

“No, I wasn’t,” I sneer.

“Yes,” Barry replies flippantly. “You were.”

“Oh, fine,” I huff in frustration. “Yeah, so I did have a slight crush on Sonya. But that really wasn’t the reason I wanted her there! She seemed so different and innocent from the girls around me, and I hoped she could be the change I needed in my life.

“Different?” Barry laughs in mockery. “Sonya certainly was that. It still pisses me off knowing that she’s actually a he.”

Barry lowers his head and sighs. “So you weren’t planning on getting it on with ‘Sonya’ that night?”

I narrow my eyes and glare. “No.”

Barry sighs again in reaction and covers his face with both hands. “Great,” he laughs anxiously into his hands.

“I won’t forgive you for what you did to her that night, Barry,” I say with venom.

“Stupid, wasn’t it,” Barry admits, lowering his hands from his face. “But I’m sure you, of all people, would understand why I did it. I have to be seen a certain way, and I thought you were about to humiliate me. I thought I’d get in first before you did.

I look at his eyes, and he’s starting to cry. Good. I hope he does feel bad about it because he should! What he’s saying it’s just abosultely ridiculous. He can try and justify it however he wants, but at the end of the day, he needs to own up to it.

“That’s not a strong enough word for it, Barry,” I reply candidly. “You are trash and always will be. Anyways, are we finished? Can you just leave me alone now? I don’t ever want to talk to you again.”

Barry doesn’t react angrily. He barely reacts at all to my words. He just stares lifelessly at the floor, clearly deep in thought.

“Nathan’s parents found out about Sonya,” Barry says slowly. “They aren’t happy. Nathan’s father almost knocked Matt out. They’ve now since both ran away.”

Shocked to my core, I don’t even know what to say. My heart starts racing, and I feel panic building up inside me. Was this my fault!? Did they find out about Sonya because I’ve stormed off in his uniform!?”

“W-w-what…?” I stutter, feeling weak at the knees.

“Don’t look so worried, Lara,” Barry laughs obnoxiously. “I know you think everything is your fault, but this time it’s not. He’s not been caught crossdressing because you’re wearing his uniform.”

“Where are they now!?” I ask, eager for an answer.

“I don’t know,” Barry replies with a shrug. “After Jade ran off crying, Matt and Sonya soon bolted for the exit. It got pretty heated, Lara. Nathan’s parents are scary AF. His mom is fully unhinged. You should have heard the hate she was spouting. I almost felt sorry for him.”

“Oh my god!” I gush as tears bubble in my eyes once more. “What happened!? It was that bitch of a sister Kayleigh wasn’t it! The stick you’ve been hanging around with. She ratted Sonya out, didn’t she!?”

Barry laughs nervously and looks up at the sky. “The apple didn’t fall far from the tree with that girl,” Barry answers. “She’s just a psycho as her mother. No, it wasn’t Kayleigh who told. She’s an even bigger user than you are, Lara. She was only getting all flirty with me because she thought I’d leave her brother alone.”

Barry laughs again, and it makes my blood boil.

“She dumped me the second I was no longer any use,” Barry admits with a smirk and a single shake of his head. “You haven’t seen her, have you? I want to talk to her and hopefully persuade her not to dump me. Not until I’m ready, anyways.”

“I haven’t seen her,” I answer plainly. “So, if it wasn’t Kayleigh, it must have been Jade?”

Before Barry even answers, I clench my jaw shut tight and feel a new level of hatred for Jade. How could she do it a second time!? Throwing her own sibling to the wolves just for a bit of attention!

“Do you hate Jade, Lara?” Barry asks, clearly trying to egg me on. “What you go confront her if you knew where she was hiding?”

I say nothing. I’m blinded by rage. If it wasn’t bad enough the first time. But to out Sonya to transphobic parents is so wrong. So very wrong!

“Tell me where she is!” I growl furiously in Barry’s face.

Barry looks me directly in the eyes and grins. “She’s down by the rail tracks. She looked pretty upset when I walked past. Maybe she’s still there, sitting and…. waiting.”

I know that’s not far from here. I think it’s about time I punch that girl in her smug little face. I don’t care if we were friends as kids. She’s overstepped the line one too many times with her gossiping. She needs to learn she can’t treat people like her own personal soap opera!

“Lara….,” Barry chuckles, pointing in the direction I need to travel. “I’ve not seen you this angry since well…. the other night. Are you going to beat her up for what she’s done to your precious Sonya?”

“What I do is none of your business!” I snort, moving past Barry to walk towards the rail tracks.

Angry driving me, I don’t even look back as I walk away from Barry. I can only think about what I’m going to say to Jade when I see her.

“Lara,” Barry shouts out. “Just remember this! Sometimes, our closest friends are actually our worst enemy, and our worst enemy is actually our friend!”

I look back over my shoulder and glare. “Get over yourself, I shout back.”

Barry laughs as I walk away. “If I find Matt and Sonya, shall I tell them you’re looking for them?”

“Go home, Barry.”

I turn away from his stupid face and march in the direction of the train tracks. They aren’t too far from the river. I hope I can catch her.

“I’m going to the skate park, Lara!” Barry shouts, not knowing when to stop. “Maybe I’ll see you there later?”

“Not likely,” I mumble under my breath, now some distance away from him, still leaning against that fence.

Forming fists, I don’t know what I’m going to do when I find her. My heart is thumping with such rage I’ve never felt before. I can just about handle what she did to me, but I won’t stand back when she’s hurting my Sonya. She's too innocent and sweet to have to deal with a witch like Jade. I’ll do it for her.

NOT FINISHED YET> I Just thought I’d post for feedback and thoughts

Let me know in the comments. (does this make sense for Lara?)