Chapter 06 of Broken Dreams is out for Squires
Added 2025-08-04 19:22:05 +0000 UTCWhew, that was one long chapter. Nothing quite big happened, but somehow, this was the chapter I struggled with the most for years. Anyway, I'm rather happy with it, but do let me know what you think.
Feedback is essential to me, especially in the early phases, where I can easily adjust and help me clean-up plots, characters, and interactions.
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You can read the previous chapters in the collection.
Comments
Great ending! The chat about jon future gave me hope about the direction of this story.
Pedro Eugenio de Lima
2025-08-05 23:38:17 +0000 UTCExtremely sus about those beads, 13 beads for the betrayed lord commander? Wonder if that was an accident or not, if it wasn't that's a pretty sweet little reference
Joshua
2025-08-05 12:05:46 +0000 UTCThis was very well written. Great chapter.
Perraup
2025-08-05 02:01:16 +0000 UTCBloodraven is just a taller Yoda lol. Tyftc
Yeno .M Evig
2025-08-05 01:31:24 +0000 UTCHmmm.. realized the incorrect grammar in my post. Not transition between character POVs, but the characters being interacted with had more agency, giving them more depth and influence on the course of thought and events. My bad.
John Pinson
2025-08-05 01:30:00 +0000 UTCI noticed in this chapter there was a much smoother transition between character POVs, allowing for a more complete 1st person perspective, acknowledging secondary characters perspective influence on the story more than usual. This might have been the struggle, arrogant assumption on my part, but I'll put it out there. Well done, it felt more complete this way.
John Pinson
2025-08-05 01:26:41 +0000 UTCThank you, and it seems like the Red Priestess is trying to spread her influence and claws. Let's hope Rhaella can survive or gain some influence. However, it also seems like she stumbled upon something big while in the body of the Raven. I am curious, was it Bran or maybe a young Garth Greenhand? I do hope the Old Gods do give Rhaella a fighting chance against this 'Melony'. I feel like things will become far more interesting. I do hope Aegon isn't doing something foolish with Melisandre. I like the idea that the Unlikely wouldn't cheat on his wife with someone else. I like how Jon is starting to learn and become a better version of himself under Bloodraven's mentorship. I am curious what sort of Jon we will see once he goes South. Great job as always, and I can't wait to see what happens next.
FallenMetalGod
2025-08-04 21:44:23 +0000 UTCAlso it's obvious that melony of lys is definitely Melisandre right? By most definitions, including mine, she's kind of evil and deserves death. She is usually a great pain in ass anyway, and i doubt she is going to believe that Others got ganked without her direct or indirect interference. Not sure if she's responsible for all the dead servants. Could also be that they were all spies anyway, not enough information yet make a decision. Am I missing anything there?
Michael Rojas
2025-08-04 21:31:53 +0000 UTCWhy do you test me? Every week I wait 168 hours between chapters for a 30 minute read. I NEED MOOOAAAARRRR!!!!!
Daniel Morgan
2025-08-04 21:29:02 +0000 UTCCurious about who the two conspirators are. My first thought was varys and Co but they're far too young. Regardless solid chapter some solid groundwork for what is rapidly becoming something I look forward to reading every week.
Brewt
2025-08-04 21:24:31 +0000 UTCThat new maid from Lys is pretty sharp! Is it sharp enough to cut? Remains to be seen.
Eric Lachance
2025-08-04 21:09:37 +0000 UTCI love it. The story and pacing is good. And the plot with its eldritch undercurrents has me hooked :D
Bovragor
2025-08-04 21:06:13 +0000 UTCDon’t know , just don’t feel it ! Is not like the story is bad I just find the whole importance of rhaella unnecessary or should I call it underwhelming?! To much mysteries in the Targaryen family , but where is the base for that ?? Cause canon is for sure not !! What change so much so Melisandre came to the king ?? Is just feel random out of context!
nikos konteles
2025-08-04 20:34:31 +0000 UTCThe plot thickens. I'm curious about the differences and similarities between Bloodraven and Whitedream. It seems as though Whitedream was Bloodraven's predecessor. Someone who fade into the weirwood roots leaving a spot for Bloodraven to take over, which bears the question if he's the original three- eyed crow. i'm loving the development of this and how Rhaella and Jon are being taught by different masters very useful skills better to steer destiny with or be steered by it.
Forest
2025-08-04 20:01:42 +0000 UTCGreat chapter. Aegon apparently is deep into his delusion that R’hllor can help him wake dragons. His arrogance is astounding. Jon being trained by Bloodraven is very cool. But it is very suspicious that Brynden Rivers appears so honest. He’s direct and to the point. Like a Northman. Where is his scheming? What is his plot? Both Rhaella and Jon are in close proximity to sorcerers. Neither is a good thing for long term mental health.
stevem1
2025-08-04 19:43:41 +0000 UTC
