Pur-Ling & the Mystery of the Missing Gunge - Part 4

“Okay, hello everyone and welcome to the show. Now, I must point out that there are no actors or stooges used in this show, this isn’t magic or hocus pocus or hypnotism or anything, this is purely manipulation of the mind and me being a smug smartypants!”

Feral Brown’s introduction got the TV audience buzzing. At the Catnab Club, Catrina, Tabi, Chateaux and Whiska were sitting around in the chilling lounge watching the show on their new HD TV. Reeow walked in to join them, finally out of her cop costume and into her regular clothes. She plonked herself down beside Whiska and handed out some popcorn.

“Any idea where Sassy is?” She asked.

She was greeted with a collective mumble and shake of heads.

“Ah well,” Reeow settled down. “Her loss. I’ve heard this is going to be a good one.”

“Yeah and me,” piped up Tabi. “Kinda amazing he’s done it in our town too. So cool!”

“Glad I’m not on it though!” Catrina said. “Who knows what weird stuff he’d make me do!”

They turned their attention back to the TV where Feral was now walking around an abandoned warehouse.

“Hey, I think I’ve been there!” Exclaimed Reeow.

“SShhhhh!” the others hissed at once.

Feral walked past some graffiti and then grinned at the camera in a slightly creepy, sinister way. “Sometimes of course, the mind doesn’t see what is right in front of the eye!”

Then he changed his expression completely and acted all buoyant and playful. “Right!” he said. “On to the star of the show! Not long ago I met this catgirl at the studio… ”

“HEY! That’s Pur-Ling!” Shouted Whiska

“She didn’t say she was on this…” Tabi said, confused.

Feral continued. “So, I had a nice meal with Pur-Ling and then we went for a bit of a drive. This is what happened….”

The girls watched in surprise at what happened next.

Pur-Ling casually walked up to a van parked in the car park outside the studio with Feral beside her. Then, as cool as you like, she unpicked the lock, opened the door and climbed in the driver’s seat. Feral climbed in the passenger seat and Pur-Ling managed to start the van.

“And how long have you had this van then Pur-Ling?” he asked innocently.

“Oh, I’ve had it for about five years.”

Feral nodded as if interested. “And you always have to break into your own van like that?”

“Yeah,” Pur-Ling replied. “It’s funny like that.”

“So, where we going?” Feral asked.

“Oh I just need to pick something up.” Pur-Ling said casually.

Reeow and Co watched in amazement as the van pulled up outside a factory. Pur-Ling and Feral got out of the van and were met by the foreman, a Mr Tufty. Feral gave the audience a knowing glance as Pur-Ling began talking to Mr Tufty as they headed for the security office.

Feral then joined the conversation.

“So, Mr Tufty, you don’t get visitors here then?”

“No, no,” replied Mr Tufty. “Don’t see why anyone would want to come here anyway.”

Feral laughed, “Of course not, no-one would come here would they? No, of course not. And even if they did, I’m sure you wouldn’t remember them at all.”

Now in the security office, Feral quickly turned his attention to the security screens. He casually looked at a button on a control panel. “Er, what does this do? You happy to show me?”

Mr Tufty pressed the button. “That stops the cameras filming I believe.”

“Ah well, no one would press that then would they?” Feral said. “You certainly didn’t did you?”

Mr Tufty shook his head. “Nope, I wouldn’t press that button, that’s more for security so not my job really.”

Feral turned to Pur-Ling. “You said you had to pick something up? Are you picking something up from here from Mr Tufty, who is ready to give it all to you now?”

Pur-Ling nodded. “Yes I am.”

Mr Tufty nodded in agreement and led them all to the factory floor. There, he instructed the workers to start loading all of the gunge they were making onto a few large crates. He then directed a fork-lift truck driver to load the crates into ‘Pur-Ling’s’ van.

With the gunge loaded on the van, Feral then asked to speak to everyone so Mr Tufty gathered them all together on the factory floor.

“Thank you for all your help everyone, you do a lovely job here.” Feral said. “You won’t remember this but you’ll see it’s all put to great use and we can only thank you for that. As I was saying to your foreman, you don’t get visitors here and this isn’t a place myself or Pur-Ling would be but we would like to thank you so much for your help and don’t….” he hesitated as if forgetting what he was about to say before shrugging it off and carrying on. “Remember Pur-Ling and myself um…really appreciate your help. Not that you’ll ever have to think of us again of course.”

With that, Feral started walking back the way they’d come with Pur-Ling and Mr Tufty. As they passed the security office, Feral paused for a moment and looked at the button from earlier. He pointed to it and looked at Mr Tufty.

“Is that the button you wouldn’t press?” He said as he pressed it himself.

“That’s right,” said Mr Tufty.

Feral looked apologetic. “Oops, forget I did that then!”

Mr Tufty laughed.

“Shall we leave?” he asked Pur-Ling. “Got everything you wanted?”

“Yes,” said the detective. “I’m good to go.”

The show then went to a commercial break.

The girls sat watching, glued to the screen, baffled that their friend had just been on the show and driven off with a van full of gunge. Without taking their eyes off the screen they passed around popcorn and stuffed their faces while the adverts rolled.

When the show came back on, they watched as Feral and Pur-Ling delivered the gunge to none other than Mr Catnap’s ‘mansion’.

“Gee, he’s on the show too!” Said Catrina. “Why wasn’t I?”

“Thought you said you wouldn’t want to be?” Said Tabi.

“Oh well, no I wouldn’t,” replied Catrina. “But why is he on it now too?”

They soon got their answer as they saw Clawdia tied up in the gunge tank.

“Ooooooooooooooooh,” said Whiska, “makes sense now!”

The show cut back to Feral in the warehouse presenting his show.

“Not long after that we arranged for Pur-Ling to be put on the case of the stolen gunge,” he said.

Video of Pur-Ling visiting the Funky Gunky factory played and the audience watched as she met Mr Tufty ‘for the first time.’

The girls watched as Pur-Ling spoke to the workers, looked at the CCTV etc. Then, before she left, she paused and used the phone in the factory office to make a phone call.

“Hello,” she said. “Alleycia? Can you and Gypsy meet me at the rehearsal studio please?”

Reeow looked confused. “Why would she do that?”

The video carried on.

“AAAhh man!” Catrina exclaimed. “Now Alley and Gypsy are on the show too!”

“I’ve found this great warehouse I thought The Catastrophes could use as a filming location!” Pur-Ling told Alley. Shall we get Reeow and show her?”

In the lounge, all eyes turned to Reeow. Especially, Catrina’s. She glared at Reeow. “YOU’RE going to be in this too?!?”

Reeow shrugged. “Er…I…I dunno.”

Reeow then sat open mouthed as she watched Alley, Gypsy and Pur-Ling interrupt her playing dress up with Sassy…

Catrina did not look impressed.

Alley, Gypsy, Pur-Ling, Reeow and Sassy, all went to the warehouse. While Reeow and Sassy went exploring, Pur-Ling gave Alley and Gypsy a drink. Shortly after, they were both fast asleep. Then Pur-Ling snuck up behind Reeow and grabbed her.

Back in the lounge, Reeow was looking really confused. “Could have sworn that was Alley!”

The show continued. Sassy was quickly captured too and tied up back to back with Reeow.

Pur-Ling left her captives in the warehouse and went back to Alley and Gypsy. She put them in the back of ‘her’ van and took them back to the rehearsal rooms…

********

Meanwhile, back in the cinema, Pur-Ling was watching the same show on the big screen, looking bemused. Beside her, Sassy was now fast asleep.

Just then, Mr Catnap appeared. He strode over to Sassy and lifted her over his shoulder. As he walked past Pur-Ling, he gave her a wink and ruffled her hair. Then, he left.

On the big screen, Feral announced that the show was now live! He was now presenting it from somewhere else. He was behind the scenes at Mr C’s mansion. Behind him, the viewers could see another of their favourite TV stars sitting in a gunge tank.

Feral looked at the camera, a bit uncertain. “In a minute, we’ll see if this has all worked. I know this has been incredibly elaborate and, I’ll be honest, rather bonkers but it will be interesting to see how this pans out!”

Just then, there was an announcement, “Please put your paws together for his Lordship, Mr Catnap!”

Mr Catnap came back to his mansion to the roar of an eager live audience. With him, he had a now untied Sassy, now wearing a fancy dress. Mr Catnap turned to his audience, as Feral held up his crossed fingers to his.

“Okay Clawdia!” Mr C began, turning round to the damselled hostess. “Do you think your knight in shining armour managed to get all the questions right and spare you from a gunging?”

“He’d better have done!” Clawdia said looking up nervously at the gunge above her head.

After a dramatic pause, Mr Catnap looked at the answers.

“I’m afraid…” he said. Clawdia looked despairing, “I’m afraid that, I don’t get to gunge you, he got the ALL right!”

The audience cheered and Clawdia breathed a sigh of relief.

“So, I suppose, you can go. And who better than to let you out than your own glamourous assistant Sassy.”

Sassy smiled as she stood next to the control panel for the gunge tank. The camera cut to the panel clearly showing two buttons, one marked ‘doors to freedom’ the other marked up ‘GUNGE Trapdoor’.

“Go on, Sassy,” Mr C said. “Let her go.”

The camera cut back to the panel and everyone watched in disbelief as Sassy confidently pressed the button to release the gunge. Suddenly, alarm bells and sirens rang out, Clawdia looked up in despair as lights flashed all around her then suddenly the trapdoors opened above her and she was drenched in gunk! Sassy looked horrified at her mistake. Feral, on the other hand, gave his own audience a thumbs up.

“Well,” he said calmly, “Seems it worked.”

In the Catnab Club lounge the girls looked amazed at what had happened.

“How….wha…?” Tabi said, baffled.

“All that to gunge Clawdia?” said an equally confused Whiska. “I don’t get how he did it.”

“I do.” Came a voice from behind.

The girls turned round to see Pur-Ling standing there.

“I’ll explain.” She said as she sat herself down and helped herself to what little popcorn was remaining.

“Feral used his mind manipulation to get me to ‘steal’ the gunge. I had literally no idea I was doing that, I don’t remember any of it! And he’d used his words and subtle gestures and things to make sure everyone at the factory forgot we’d ever been there. That’s why they didn’t remember me when I went back to investigate. I don’t remember making that call to Alley, going to the warehouse, capturing them, Reeow, Sassy. None of it.”

The girls looked intrigued as Pur-Ling continued.

“I worked out I’d stolen the gunge while I was at the cinema. There were ‘random’ words flashing up on the screen that were all anagrams of ‘Pur-Ling stole the gunge’. Also, there was a song playing at the rehearsal studio when I went to find Alleycia and Gypsy that kept saying ‘you did it”. That was meant for me. Then, when the show went live, I remembered meeting Feral.”

The girls looked confused. “But, why did Sassy press the gunge button?” Chateaux asked.

“Feral made her do it. While she was tied up in the warehouse there was some graffiti on the wall facing her that said ‘Press the wrong button”. When we were tied up together in the cinema, there were images of crows that kept pressing a particular button to get treats. The button looked the same as the gunge button. There were images that were set up to make her think of Clawdia getting gunged. Cats under waterfalls, ice cream that looked the same as the gunge dripping from a cone, and a cat, that looked a bit like Clawdia, cleaning an expensive looking dress. Then there were words flashing up like ‘do it’, all of which would have made her unconsciously press the gunge button.”

“So, she couldn’t help it?” Catrina asked. “Sneaky Feral. Never trusted him!”

“No, it was all a set up to get Sassy to gunge Clawdia.” Pur-Ling replied.

“With gunge YOU stole!” Whiska laughed.

“Yes, yes!” Said Pur-Ling, “With gunge I ‘stole’!”

“Well, well done for working it out,” giggled Reeow. “Even if it was a bit too late for Clawdia!”

Pur-Ling shrugged. “Yeah, aw well. I wonder if anyone else worked it out.”

********

Well, did you? 😉