ชิ้นChîn: Chapter 5. To Will Thy Body

Charlie is on the floor of his apartment, out cold.

Kate sits at the museum entrance, waiting. They look down at their phone. 10:30 a.m.

They open their text with Charlie.

-Charlie-

40 minutes ago

[Kate] I'm here.

30 minutes ago

[Kate] Slept in, did you?

Now

[Kate] Cool…

Kate opens Ayden's texts.

-Ayden-

[Kate] Well, it seems I've been stood up.

[Ayden] maybe somethins up

try calling?

Kate sighs, annoyed. They call.

Charlie's phone rings, but he is unresponsive.

The call goes to voicemail. Kate hangs up, sighs again with a disappointed frown, and stands. They walk off as they type.

-Ayden-

[Kate] No answer. I'm heading home.

[Ayden] sorry kate

[Kate] Of course, the 'nice guy' ghosts me.

[Ayden] want to come over?

[Kate] Yeah.

[Ayden] omw

-

Charlie's bedside alarm goes off, 11 a.m.

He stirs, pulls himself up, and crawls onto the bed. Still dazed, he turns the alarm off and crawls onto his bed. A crow sits outside the window, looking in.

He curls into a ball again, and everything goes black.

-

His morning alarm goes off again at 11 a.m. It wakes him with a jolt. He sits up and looks over, then turns it off, seemingly confused. He rubs his face, stands, and unsteadily walks to his sink. He rinses off his face, leaning over, propping himself up on the sink with his arms. His stomach growls. He finds a pre-packaged convenience store sandwich in his fridge.

He sits at his table and tries to eat, still out of it. He rubs his eyes, more than half the sandwich still uneaten. His phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out and looks at the notification list.

[Nora Message (2]

[Kate Message (3]

[Kate Missed Call]

[Nora Missed Call]

He reads Kate's messages first, then looks at the clock, 11:07 a.m.

Charlie: "Damn it!"

He calls Kate.

Kate's phone rings on a bedside table beside Ayden, who is asleep in the bed. He is shirtless, back broad and scarred, with toned arms. His hair is a deep ginger red, straight and messy at the top with a tapered shave at the bottom, his ears pierced up to the helix.

Kate steps over, picks it up, and answers it, holding it with their shoulder as they continue stirring their coffee.

Kate: "Hello?"

Charlie, nervous: "Kate! I'm so sorry I'm late, are you at the museum? I can still meet—"

Kate, pissed: "Are you high?!"

Ayden wakes and looks up at Kate. His eyes are a light brown, nearly gold, and his brow is pierced.

Charlie: "What? No, I—"

click

Kate hangs up.

Charlie, confused, goes to their messages and starts to type.

[Im sorry I'm just a little| ]

He spots where Kate's messages say 'yesterday'

Charlie, dread: "I lost a day?"

Confused, he sets down his phone and rubs his face.

Kate tosses their phone onto the bed.

Ayden sits up: "You alright?"

Kate snaps: "I'm fine."

They place their mug on the bedside table with a heavy thud and sit on the bed, arms crossed in a huff.

Charlie picks up his phone again and starts to type.

Ayden chuckles.

Kate: "What are you laughing at?"

Ayden: "You usually don't get upset over being rejected."

Kate, annoyed: "I wasn't rejected."

Ayden: "I'm just saying, it's cute to see you actually interested in someone. Sorry, it didn't go well."

Kate: "Yeah, well… that's what I get."

Kate's phone buzzes, the screen showing the notification.

[Charlie Message (1)]

Kate looks away from it.

Ayden, sly smile: "Gonna check that?"

Kate: "Why should I?"

Ayden takes the phone and gets up, wearing only a pair of silk boxer briefs. He steps around the bed to Kate, holding it out in front of them. They look up at him as he speaks.

Ayden: "Because either it's bullshit and you can get a kick out of it, or it's a valid excuse and you'll give him a chance."

Kate glares at him and takes the phone. Ayden grabs some black cargo pants from a chair in the corner of the room and walks out. Kate looks at the phone.

-Charlie-

[Charlie] Kate I'm really sorry. I swear I'm not high or anything I just lost track of time. Im just really stressed out I guess.

[Charlie] Can I still take you to the museum today? :pleading:

[Kate] While they're closed on a Sunday?

[Charlie] Then let me take you somewhere else, anywhere. Your choice.

Kate sets their phone down with a sigh.

Charlie stares down at his phone, waiting for a response.

[Kate] You'd better have a good excuse for standing me up. I'll be there in half an hour.

Charlie jumps up, "Yes!" and rushes to get ready.

Kate walks into the dining room of Ayden's house, where Ayden is making himself coffee.

Kate, still upset: "Can you give me a ride?"

Ayden grins: "Valid excuse?"

Kate pulls on their coat.

Kate: "That remains to be seen."

-

Charlie is sitting on his bed, pulling on his shoes with his toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. He stands, pushes his arms through his hoodie, and heads for the bathroom. He spits in the sink, then shifts uncomfortably. He tugs on his shirt collar and sees the tag at the front.

Charlie: "Damn it."

He pulls his shirt and coat off.

Ayden and Kate, in a red compact pickup truck, pull up in front of Charlie's apartment building.

Ayden smiles: "Have fun."

Kate, still annoyed, side-eyes him and grabs their mini backpack.

Kate: "He's lucky he's cute."

Ayden chuckles.

-

Kate steps up to Charlie's door. They knock.

Charlie rushes to open the door but stops, his hand on the handle. He looks down at his now complete middle finger. He pulls off the tip, slips it into his pocket, and then opens the door.

He smiles awkwardly and nervously greets them—

Charlie: "H-hey, you!"

Kate, stern: "Ready?"

Charlie's smile drops: "Yeah."

He steps out and shuts the door behind him. Kate is already walking away, arms crossed.

-

The two of them walk down the street. The weather is overcast. A crow flies over them.

Kate: "So—"

Charlie looks over to them, Kate eyeing him.

Kate: "What's the excuse?"

Charlie looks away: "Uh, I don't really know how to explain it. It's… been a pretty fucked up couple of weeks. I guess it all just got to me and I slept away a day—apparently."

Kate listens but stays silent.

Charlie, nervous: "So… Where do you want to go?"

Kate sighs: "I don't know, I'm sure we'll find something. If nothing else, there's a nice cafe a few miles away."

Charlie smiles: "Sounds good."

They walk by the flower shop while Anwir sets some flower bundles outside. Charlie glances back at the flowers, and Anwir spots Charlie, waving with a warm smile.

-

They walk past the park with the basketball court. Kate looks over to Charlie and grins.

Kate: "Come on."

Charlie, strained wit: "Did you know you have a very high chance of getting struck by lightning in parks?"

Kate raises a brow.

Charlie: "Yeah, I guess Thor really hates public spaces. So—maybe let's skip parks today?"

Kate, sly grin: "You said anything I want."

Charlie hesitates and follows, his demeanor becomes cold and closed off.

Kate: "The park at the north end of the city decorates every year for Christmas. It's beautiful."

Charlie: …

Kate leads him to the ball court. Charlie's expression is anxious dread. Kate picks up an abandoned basketball from a bench. They walk up to Charlie with a smile.

Kate: "Ever play ball?"

Charlie flat: "No."

Kate: "It's never too late to learn."

Kate grins and tosses the ball to him.

Charlie reaches up belatedly to catch it. It slips past his fingers and bounces off his chest.

Charlie's voice cracks: "Can we leave now?"

Kate, agitated: "Fine."

They walk away from the ball court and out of the park.

Kate crosses their arms.

Kate, short: "Cafe then?"

Charlie doesn't respond, staring down at his feet, face pale.

Kate glances at him, then looks away, annoyed.

-

They reach the cafe, the crow is perched in a tree in front of the building.

Kate walks in, and Charlie follows through the door, entering Daniel's trailer. He stares at Daniel's body, beginning to panic and hyperventilate. He drops to the floor.

Kate looks back and sees Charlie. They rush over to him.

Kate: "Charlie? Are you alright?"

Charlie starts to shake and whimper.

Kate: "What's wrong?"

Charlie pukes and drops, everything going dark.

-

Charlie wakes up in a hospital, Kate sitting in a chair in the corner of the room on their phone. He reaches a hand up to rub his face. Kate notices him move and gets up to step over to his bed.

Kate, softly: "Hey… You alright?"

Charlie rolls over and looks at them.

Charlie: "Oh yeah. Never better."

Kate, weak smile: "Well, if this is your best, I can't imagine your worst."

Charlie weakly chuckles, then looks up.

Charlie: "Why am I in a hospital?"

Kate: "You kinda started freaking out and went unconscious."

Charlie: "Sorry."

Kate: "They said you probably had a panic attack. They gave you some medication to help."

Charlie sits up: "I want to go home."

Kate: "I'll get someone."

-

Kate is in the waiting room.

Charlie is still in the hospital bed getting ready to leave, the nurse unhooks his IV.

Nurse: "Do you mind answering some questions before you leave?"

Charlie, hesitant: "I guess?"

Charlie pulls his jacket on as she talks.

Nurse: "Over the last 2 weeks, how often have you been bothered by any of the following: Feeling nervous, anxious, or on edge?"

Charlie: "Uh—sometimes…"

Nurse: "Would you say 'several days', 'Over half the days', or 'Nearly every day'?"

Charlie, meek: "Nearly every day…"

Nurse: "Trouble falling or staying asleep, or sleeping too much?"

Charlie: "...Nearly every day."

Nurse: "Poor appetite or overeating?"

Charlie hesitates, ashamed: "Uhm… Nearly every day."

Nurse: "Feeling afraid as if something awful might happen?"

Charlie: "Every day..."

Nurse: "Thoughts that you would be better off dead, or of hurting yourself in some way?"

Charlie grimaces: "..."

-

Evening

Charlie is checking out, the nurse hands him a few papers.

Nurse: "Here's your bill, visit summary, and prescription. You can fill it at your local pharmacy."

Charlie hands the prescription back and walks away.

They leave the hospital.

Kate: "Why didn't you take the prescription?"

Charlie: "I can't afford meds that don't even work."

-

The two walk down the street,

Kate: "Are you alright?"

Charlie: "I'll be fine. Sorry that just kind of happens sometimes."

They walk in silence for a moment.

Kate: "Passing out?"

Charlie: "No, I just…"

Kate listening.

Charlie: "Feel like I'm somewhere else, sometimes—I guess."

Kate's brows furrow in sympathy, and they look down in thought.

Kate: "Is one of those episodes why you missed our date?"

Charlie, looking down: "Yeah."

-

They reach his apartment and go inside. Charlie sits on his bed, only turning on his bedside light and pulling his shoes off, looking exhausted.

Kate: "You alright? Do you need anything?"

Charlie: "I'll be fine. Thanks."

Kate nods and walks to the door. Charlie lies on his bed with a shaky sigh. Kate opens the door and pauses, glancing back at him. They close the door and walk over to the bed.

Charlie looks up at them.

Charlie: "I'm fine, you can go home."

Kate: "Do you want to be alone, or would you rather I stay?"

Charlie's brows furrow, and he looks away.

Charlie: "I—"

Charlie, masking grin: "I would never say no to your company."

Kate gives a soft smile and stands up, walking over to Charlie's dresser and grabbing pajamas.

Kate walks back over in Charlie's clothes and crawls into the bed beside him, face to face.

Charlie looks at them with a weak smile.

Charlie: "Sorry I keep fucking up our dates."

Kate smiles: "I suppose you're just going to have to keep making it up to me."

Charlie smiles and closes his eyes.

-

late Night

Kate is sitting up in the bed, Charlie's head and arm in their lap while they're on their phone.

-Ayden-

[Ayden] checking in

[Kate] We had to stop at the hospital.

[Ayden] what r u ok?

[Kate] It was for Charlie. He had a panic attack.

[Ayden] O. shit

Kate looks down at Charlie, restlessly sleeping, face occasionally twisting into fear or pain.

[Kate] I think he has PTSD.

[Ayden] O. damn

[Ayden] u do like them kinda fucked up huh

[Kate] Fuck you.

[Ayden] <3

[Ayden] valid excuse?

[Kate] Valid excuse.

-

Charlie, sleeping restlessly, wakes up with a sharp gasp. His breath calms, and he sits up, seeing Kate sitting by him on the bed with their phone. Kate looks down and smiles.

Kate: "Morning."

Charlie, weak smile: "Morning."

-

Kate sits at the table with a coffee, watching Charlie as he fixes a cup of his own.

Kate: "So.…"

Charlie looks over, curious.

Kate: "Your panic attacks, do they happen often?"

Charlie tenses and looks away again.

Kate: "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Charlie sighs: "No, not usually, but they have been happening a lot more lately."

Charlie: "Sorry for being an ass at the park yesterday. I just—"

He looks away.

Charlie's voice cracks: "I guess it just—uh—."

Charlie's hand shakes by the cup's handle.

Kate: "Brings up some bad memories?"

Charlie: "Kind of."

Kate stands up and hugs him from behind.

Kate: "It's alright. Thank you for telling me, though. I did think you were being an ass."

-

Charlie sits across from Kate and places two plates on either side, several pancakes on his, and one with some eggs on theirs.

Kate looks from the food to him and smiles.

Kate: "Keep this up, I'm going to think we're dating."

Charlie: "Are we—not?"

Kate: "We could be, but what do you want out of it?"

Charlie confused: "What do you mean?"

Kate: "Do you want something casual, a fuck buddy, marriage? I prefer to know what's expected of me."

Charlie: "I'm not sure."

Charlie thinks for a while as Kate eats.

Charlie: "I just know I like you, and I want some form of intimacy. But I've been avoiding that for a while, so I'm probably really bad at it." He finishes speaking with a nervous chuckle.

Charlie watches Kate expectantly, but they don't respond, looking away, pondering.

Charlie looks down at his food, nervous.

Kate: "I like you, Charlie– so far. So if we're going to continue, then I need to set out some boundaries."

Charlie looks up, full attention.

Kate, strict: "I don't do marriage, and I don't do monogamy. I have a boyfriend, he's protective but not the jealous type– I don't do jealous types. I'm not his, and I'm not yours."

Kate's tone softens, and they give a coy grin.

Kate: "But if I like you, and you like me, then we can spend plenty of time together."

Charlie smiles: "That's fine with me."

Kate: "Good, just say something if that changes."

They go back to eating

Kate: "Oh—One more thing."

Charlie looks up again.

Kate: "If we're going to continue to have sex, I prefer we share our 'medical history'."

Charlie: "Oh, like STI—stuff?"

Kate nods.

Charlie: "Sure… Uhm—"

Kate: "If cost is an issue, I know a reproductive health clinic with a sliding fee."

Charlie relieved: "Great, send me their info."

-

Kate goes to leave, but they stop and turn back to Charlie, pecking him on the lips.

Kate: "See you later."

Kate smiles and leaves. Charlie turns away with a giddy expression.

-

Charlie tidies up his apartment, coming across the hospital bill on his coffee table. He stares at it for a moment before picking up his phone and opening his and Nora's texts.

-Nora-

2 Days ago

[Nora] Are you ok?

Yesterday

[Nora] Please call soon

Charlie types out:

[ I'm fine. I had to go to the hospital and idk if i can pay| ]

He hesitates, then backspaces and sends:

[Charlie] I'm fine.

Charlie steps to the kitchenette, tosses the bill on the counter, and grabs a drink.

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