Anna has needs

Inspired by a fan who reached out to me. Hope you guys like it. I hope to have another story up as a Christmas gift for you guys (I know... two stories in a week? It's been a long time!)

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You have no idea how hard it can be to live a lie.

I’ve been living one for nearly my whole life and I only recently even became aware of that lie.

I grew up with a typical life. Mom who loved me. Dad who worked too hard but still found time to lecture me on the weekends and scare off boys. Two brothers that protected their sister (when they weren’t harassing her for idiotic reasons). I was a good girl. I didn’t get in trouble. Played sports but wasn’t a tomboy. I was good in school but it wasn’t easy. Really, I was pretty typical. But underneath all that, I knew something was different.

My first clue was when I discovered masturbation (probably most girl’s first clue!). What a fucking revelation that was! As I got older and I learned how my body worked, I got pretty damn good. I remember sitting in class my senior year and wiggling back and forth until I gave myself a tiny orgasm. My senior year became a hell of a lot more bearable after that. Too bad I learned it with only two months left!

The next clue was in college. Like most attractive girls, I had a lot of guys hitting on me in college. My parents didn’t raise me particularly religiously so I didn’t have any moral qualms about having sex before marriage. But my mother had made sure that I at least liked the guy before I slept with him. So I dated a boy for about three months freshman year. I didn’t really think I was in love with him but I definitely liked him and I was ready. So was he! Maybe a little too ready. He rutted around on top of me for a couple minutes before finally finishing. He was courteous enough to go down on me afterwards but, frankly, it wasn’t as good as my finger.

“That’s what sex is like?” I asked my best friend the next day.

She laughed, “Not always… It can be better… but yeah… most of the time it’s that.”

“Well that bites,” I said in disappointment.

“Well you could always try Tony?” she said, giving me a smirk.

“The ass hat on the third floor?”

“Oh he’s an ass but my God does he know his way around a woman’s body,” she said, a far away look in her eyes.

“I couldn’t do that to Ben…” I said and I meant it. It wouldn’t be right.

“I know… but if things with him don’t work out, give Tony a try. You’ll at least know what good sex can be like,” she said.

I was true to my word and I didn’t cheat on Ben, though in truth I did imagine it sometimes when I was particularly horny and alone. Not surprisingly however, we did eventually break up and when we did, I was reminded of that conversation. I’d been single for roughly an hour when I screwed up my courage and knocked on Tony’s door. I’d put on a short little crop top and tight black yoga pants. I wanted something casual but sexy. Turns out, I probably had spent too much time thinking things through.

“Yeah?” he said, opening the door and looking me up and down.

“Hey, Tony… I… I was wondering if you were free tonight?”

This time, his gaze was even more overt. His eyes lingered on my tits before traveling along my curves. I could almost feel him touching me just with his eyes. “Sure… why not. I like redheads. Be here at 9:00… Plan for at least… hrmm…,” he paused looking at me, “Yeah… three hours should be fine.”

“Uhh… okay,” I said, uncertainly. I was, however, absolutely drenched in arousal. Ben was never like this with me and the way my body was responding was leaving me flustered and confused. He started to close the door but stopped when I asked, “What should I wear?” still unsure what kinds of date plans he had.

He gave me a smirk then said, “Fuck if I care… something sexy, I guess,” then closed the door before I could say anything else.

“Wow… he really is an ass hat,” I mumbled to myself before walking back to my dorm room, second thoughts weighing against the tingling between my legs. About an hour before the date, I started getting ready. I primped and preened myself, trying to look as enticing as possible. Tony didn’t seem to be the kind of guy to go somewhere fancy so I just wore a pair of jeans and a loose, deep v-neck shirt that showed off my breasts. I didn’t see a whole lot of reason to be subtle and if we only had three hours for whatever date he had planned, that didn’t leave a lot of time for this perfect fucking my friend had bragged about.

When I knocked on his door, I was greeted with a simple, “It’s open.” Stepping inside the dimly lit room I was struck but how utterly unremarkable it was. Spartan and relatively clean for a guy’s dorm room, I found my eyes inexorably pulled to the posters on the wall. Lots of my guy friends had random posters of babes in bikinis or, for the more enterprising freshmen, in the nude. Not Tony. No… his posters were more… explicit. A woman kneeling at the feet of a man holding a leash, her arms cuffed behind her back as she nuzzled lovingly against the longest cock I’d ever seen. Another woman with her legs spread wide as a huge, fat cock thicker than my arm pressed against the almost comically small opening.

I was awoken from my silent trance by Tony’s deep voice, “You clean up nice, babe.”

“Thank you, I…” I started to say as I turned.

“Now take off those clothes and let’s get to work,” he said.

“What?” I started to ask but the question died in my throat. Tony was laying on his bed, stroking a cock longer than the one on the first poster and thicker than the one in the second. “Holy fuck, Tony!” I heard my voice say unbidden.

He chuckled, “Yeah… It’s something isn’t it?” His voice was cocky and his knowing smirk made me want to smack him. But that cock! “Do a good job fucking it and I’ll invite you back for more.”

I should have left. I should have told him to fuck off and walked out. Instead I did exactly what he knew I would. What most sluts coming to get fucked by this stud would do. I worshipped that cock like it was my God for the next three hours. He did things to me that still no man has ever managed to replicate. He made me scream so loud that I thought someone would call the cops. Not that they could have stopped me from fucking that glorious cock. He even took a picture of me kneeling at his feet with a dog collar on my neck and my face covered in cum. That picture is one of my most treasured (and secretive) possessions.

That was the night that changed my life. Oh, not because of Tony as a man. He was everybit the cock ass hole I thought he was. Completely undateable. Not that that stopped me from occasionally fucking him every now and then. No. What changed is that I realized I had needs and that satisfying those needs wasn’t always something my boyfriends could do. In fact, very often, the things I liked about guys I dated were exactly the things that kept them from satiating those other needs. I tried, I really did. Of course it would be better to have the love of your life also be the lover of your dreams. Maybe some girls are that lucky. I sure wasn’t. At first, I resisted the urge to cheat. When the mediocre sex from some sweet boy became unbearable, I would just break up with him and go get fucked for a few weeks.

After awhile, however, I succumbed to my greed and selfishness. I just started cheating on one of my boyfriends. Turned out it was super easy. He didn’t suspect a thing. And when he did get a little suspicious, a sloppy blowjob usually made him forget his worries. Of course, he eventually found out and forgave me… the first time. The second time not so much.

I went through a bit of a depression after that. Was I ever going to find Mr. Right? Or was I just destined to repeat this cycle for the rest of my life?

And that’s when I met Ben. Ben was everything I wanted in a guy, almost. And the sex… geezus. Best I’d had from a boyfriend. He was no Tony (or Dave, Mark, Mack, Lance, Tony #2, or John and his two brothers) but he was really good and he worked hard to please me in bed, learning what makes me tick. In fact, it was after one of those wonderful sessions late one night that I screwed up the courage to tell him what I liked.

“Will you judge me if I tell you what I like?”

“Of course not, sweetie…,” he said. His fingers traced up and down my arms giving me goose bumps.

“Well… if I’m being really honest with myself… and you…,” my voice trailed off uncertainly.

“Of course, babe. Of course. Be honest,” he implored.

I took a breath, “Well… I mean… I kind of like it… a little rough,” I said.

“Rough? Like a spanking or something? That’s pretty kinky.”

I smiled at him and said, “Oh… if you think that’s kinky you might not like the rest.”

“Okay… go on then. I’m not judging.”

I smiled at him and put my hand on his chest, “I know you’re not. I like it when a guy just… you know… takes what he wants. When he’s kind of an asshole. When he just uses me as a toy to get him off. Especially when it’s a guy with a really big fat cock.”

Ben flushed red, “And I’m not?” Ben’s cock was big… really big actually. Not huge like Tony’s or most of the other guys but it was nearly 8 inches and pretty thick. Probably one of the reasons he had managed to keep me sexually satisfied as long as he had.

“Oh, you are. Definitely. It’s not about that really… though it helps. But I just like a guy to FUCK me,” I said, emphasizing the word to try to drive my point home.

“I can do that,” he said with a mischievous grin. He tried, he really did. And our sex did improve even more. But it still wasn’t the same. I knew he was holding back. I knew on the inside he cared about me. And that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted a guy who didn’t care about me. I know it sounds fucked up but it’s what my pussy wanted. That’s when I started to engage in, what might be considered, self-destructive behavior. I started an OnlyFans account and started flirting with every guy that subscribed. I wasn’t doing it for the money, that was just a way to gatekeep out the people who weren’t serious. I wanted to get FUCKED. I started chatting with several of them, got deluged by a disturbingly large number of dick pics, and finally found a couple prime candidates (thanks to said dick pics… just because they were unwanted and unsolicited didn’t make them any less useful for my purposes!).

I found myself sexting one of them almost every night. I think, in the back of my mind, I wanted to get caught. This was probably just some new way to break up with a boyfriend but it turned out to be a yet another drastic change in my sex life. The best one yet, actually.

“Who are you texting?” Ben asked as I typed away in bed. I angled my phone away reflexively before quietly answering.

“Just a friend from work.”

“A friend named, ‘Stud’?” He’d obviously seen a little more of my texts than I’d realized. I held my breath, waiting for the eruption I knew was coming.

When he said nothing more, I decided to plunge on with the lie, “Just a little harmless flirting… sorry.”

“No worries. Just so long as you come home to me afterwards, I’m fine with it.”

I looked over at him, his words confusing me, “Of course I’d come home to you.”

“Even after he ‘fucks you so good you can’t think straight’?” Ben said. Apparently he’d seen a lot more of the texts than I realized.  I was silent. I had no idea what to say. Even though I’d sort of thought I’d be caught, I’d expected it to be an argument. Shouting. Yelling. Not Ben quietly reading a book and… teasing me?

“You’re not as mad as I thought you’d be…” I said carefully.

“So you were thinking about my feelings when you starting sexting him?” his words were flat. Was he being snarky? Concerned? Angry? I had no idea.

“I don’t know… I just… This is something I need,  Ben,” I said, finally deciding to be truthful. Ben silently nodded, saying nothing as the words hung in the air. “I’m sorry.”

He looked at me, setting his book on the nightstand as he took my hand in his, “Don’t be sorry. I get it. You have needs. Just come back to me, okay?”

I bit my lip and nodded. The whole conversation had me flustered and, for once, not in a good way. I put my phone down, sexting pal forgotten, and snuggled up to Ben, “I don’t deserve you,” I said.

“Maybe I don’t deserve you,” he said. I couldn’t tell which sense of that he meant it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

After that night, I kept flirting with the two guys before finally settling on one of them. I shouldn’t have. I should have kept talking to Ben, but I just couldn’t help myself. I had to scratch that itch. About a week after that bedroom conversation with my boyfriend, I told him I was going our for “girl’s night”. He knew it was a lie. I knew he knew it was a lie. But he just said, “ok” and watched me put on the trampiest dress I owned and head out the door to get railed by a virtual stranger.

And boy did I. This new guy, Vince, was a fucking maestro with his cock. It wasn’t nearly as big as some of the ones I’d had before. It was actually slightly smaller than Ben’s. But he fucked me like he hated me and I went absolutely crazy for it. He threw me around the room, slamming me into the wall or holding me down on the bed. He tied my hands behind my back and fucked me every way imaginable. He fucked me over and over and over until I simply collapsed on the bed, writhing and twitching from the latest in a long string of orgasms as I muttered, “ThankyouThankyouThankyou.” Then he simply walked out the door, leaving me alone in the seedy hotel room he’d got for our tryst. I took a shower and tried to calm myself down. Was Ben really going to be okay with this? Surely he was going to just dump me and I’d have to start over. I felt sad… and angry… not at Ben but at myself. I should be more upset by this but dammit the soreness between my legs wouldn’t let me even be that upset. The glow of a good fucking was just too much for me.

As I drove home, I rehearsed what I was going to tell Ben. I loved him. He was everything to me. I was determined to do better. To figure out a way to keep him. To be worthy of him. I knew it was a lie but it was a lie I needed to tell myself. I walked into the dark house and called out, “Ben?”

“Up here,” came the response from our bedroom upstairs. I took off my shoes and walked up the stairs. As I pushed the door open, two powerful hands grabbed my upper arms. “Did you get what you need, bitch?” The voice was feral in my ear. A hissed whisper in a tone I’d never heard from Ben.

“Ben… I thought…”

“You really thought I’d be okay with you whoring yourself around town? What a dumb fucking cunt you are, Anna!” He threw me forward onto the bed and I bounce on it, turning to look at him. My protest died unspoken in my mouth. I’d never seen Ben like this. My eyes were wide. He was completely naked, his cock pointing angrily out at me and looking harder than I’d ever seen it. “You belong to me!” he said, thumping his chest as he stepped towards me.

I was scared. I’d never seen Ben like this. He wasn’t scarier then some of the rougher guys I’d fucked in the past but somehow seeing Ben… my sweet Ben, angry at me had me terrified.

And insanely, absurdly, ashamedly… I was soaking wet. I couldn’t help myself, I spread my legs wide and scooted back on the bed.

“What a fucking slut!” he snarled again, leaning over me as his fingers probed roughly at my gushing snatch. “I yell at you. Call you names. Practically threaten to rape you… and your response is to spread your legs?”

His words cut deep into me. Part of me was devastated that he saw me that way. That he saw the real me. Part of me was grateful too. Grateful that I didn’t have to hide anymore. But the biggest part of me was the part that was screaming, “YES! FINALLY!” I said nothing, simply biting my lip and nodding as his fingers stabbed into me. My hips humped up against his hands, involuntarily telling him that I needed more. He obliged, manhandling me without a care for my pleasure which was exactly what I craved. A lustful moan escaped my lips.

Ben just laughed derisively. “Never heard you make that noise before, slut.”

“Fuck me, Ben. Show me what you think of me.”

He looked at me, a mix of emotions washing over him. For a second, I thought he was going to break and do something lovey dovey like hold me and try to ‘make love’ to me. Instead, a sick grin cracked across his face. “Turn around. I’m fucking your ass tonight, bitch.”

I gasped. We had anal sex rarely. I really liked it though I didn’t do it very often. Ben seemed to like it to but never asked for it. I always thought it was cute. Like he really liked it but didn’t want to ruin it by asking for it too often. Tonight, he wasn’t asking. I flopped over and he smacked my ass. Hard. I yelped but didn’t attempt to ward off further blows. He smacked it twice more before I felt his lubed up cock begin to press against my ass. He must have grabbed the bottle of the nightstand and used his free hand to get himself all slick. He slid into me, one long smooth stroke which made me moan again.

“Now that moan I’ve heard before,” this time it was closer to Ben’s voice. A little less of an edge. I guess having your cock buried in your girlfriend’s tight ass helps mollify your anger. His fingers dug into my hips painfully and he started slamming into me, hammering me so hard it was like he was trying to drill me through the bed. My cunt got just enough friction grinding against the bed spread that I could almost feel an orgasm coming. But frankly, I didn’t want it. I didn’t deserve it. I wanted him to fuck my ass and use me for himself.

After about fifteen minutes of slamming my ass harder and harder, he finally screamed out, collapsing next to me as I felt every tense muscle in my body finally relax as well. My hand went instantly to my cunt, brushed my clit twice and set off my own orgasm leaving me flailing on the bed mindlessly. When I finally came down from the explosion, I heard Ben’s voice next to me say, “I love you.” It was like a dam broke inside of me. I felt my insides melt and tears started streaming down my eyes.

“I love you too. I’m sorry,” I said.

“Don’t be. That was the best sex we’ve ever had, right?”

“Ben… I don’t… This is so fucked… That was the best sex I’ve ever had… period.”

“Good… then when you do it again, I’ll do this again,” he said. I looked at him, dumbstruck, “Or maybe worse.” A smile crossed his face as he watched me.

“Promise?” I smiled back and I suddenly felt like everything might actually turn out alright.