Weekly Update #21

Recovering, but getting back on track. My drawing pad isn't working properly, so I've had to order a new one, this one should hold out until the new one arrives.

~~Angry rant/vent incoming~~

I know the next update has been taking a while. Messages asking when it will be coming out really aren't helpful. I'm less than a third of my way to my patreon goal, which means I have to spend a lot of my time doing commissions and odd jobs to make ends meet. I can't devote every waking second to the game. I'm just one person. I'm not deliberately withholding the game from people, I work on it as much as I can, every day, all of the time I can spare goes to working on it. Even then, I have to keep cutting corners on content. At this point a good half to 2/3rds of the planned content for this next update will probably get cut, considering how badly people seem to want this next update out. I feel like I'm doing something wrong here. I want this to be something unique, something different, something special. But I just don't know if that's going to work out. I have to cut corners every update to get them out. I feel rushed, and stressed. I need to get more content out there so people will support the game, but if it is rushed and unpolished, why would anyone want to support it? I'm just one man. I can't do it all. I can't just wave a magic update wand and have it working. I need to spend hours everyday drawing, and even more hours writing. Then I have to program it all in. Making a game takes time. A lot of time. All my spare time. I'm seriously wondering if this is going to succeed the way it is going. Should I just cut down on story and characters and have it be a bunch of generic weight gain scenarios? That would probably sell better. Who cares about making something unique, something that leaves my mark on the community. Generic fetish porn would sell better, right? And based on the messages I've been getting, I doubt most of you would complain about that. What's even the point of any of this anymore. I just want to make something nice, something unique, that people can enjoy. But maybe that's not good enough. Maybe I'm spending too much time on things people don't think are important. I think they are though, shouldn't that count for something? Shouldn't I get a say in how my game goes? Should I be forced to work on a project that has turned into everything I despise about the weight gain community, because it would have more support that way?
It's 5:00. I started work at 11:00 this morning. I'll continue till 11:00 at night, same as I've done every day this week. I keep working myself until I get sick and crash. Is that not good enough? I'm trying. I'm really trying. I guess maybe I've just been too ambitious, I don't know. Maybe I should try smaller updates. Would people prefer that? Just a single scene added per update? Never trying to experiment with coding or different scenes? Nothing new or interesting at all? Just "Weight gain scenario #47, here you go!" It's frustrating. People say they want branching paths! Complex dialogue trees! So I write that! And people complain it's taking too long! What am I supposed to do?! I can either keep it simple, boring and you get it quick, or I can spend time on it and make it more complex! I know it doesn't feel like much when you're playing it, because branching dialogue can be over with in less than 5 minutes, but it takes days, or weeks to write and plan out. Every path has to be planned, every tangent of the conversation. I want them to feel like real conversations, like the player interactions matter, but that takes time to write and to code. Not to mention the drawing time! Time I don't have apparently. So I guess I'll be cutting a bunch from this update. So if parts of it feel rushed or sparse, well, people asked for it, so I'm delivering.
Hopefully it will be out by the end of the month, but who knows. Maybe I'll split it in half or something.

To those of you who have been patiently waiting, thank you very much. I hope you don't get too upset by my hostility here. I'm just feeling very burnt out and wanted to vent.