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Hypnotic Ritual (Article)

Added 2021-11-26 22:10:28 +0000 UTC

Hypnotic Ritual by sleepingirl

Rituals are a part of our days in a number of ways unique to the way that we go through our lives. Some of us participate in religious or spiritual rituals, others have certain routines that they go through that contain some element of conscious intention. They can be complex or as simple as watching a TV show with dinner. We can use concepts from ritualistic actions to add power and intention to the hypnosis that we do with our partners -- after all, hypnotic practice and kink in general can be reflective of these patterns. In this essay, we’ll explore what rituals are, how we can make our own, and how to bring magic from them into our trances.

What is a Ritual?

A ritual is any action or set of actions that is performed with purpose and intention. The purpose of a ritual can vary -- in magic and spirituality, rituals are often meant to bring us more in touch with a force larger than ourselves. It could also include creating an altered state, or specific desires that we’re creating in the moment (“casting a spell”).

Repetition is important to ritual, but not necessary -- the first time that we perform a ritual, it’s still a ritual. We could say that rituals benefit from at least the intention of being repeated, or from taking aspects from things that we have already experienced. For example, perhaps two partners take a vacation and end up really enjoying a relaxing shower together. They might bring that back with them and occasionally shower together at home as a way to spend intentional time.

Heterotopia in Ritual

A “heterotopia” is a concept made known by French philosopher Michel Foucault referring to a type of space that is somehow “other”: A verbal, real, or imaginary space that is both separated from and contrasts with what surrounds it. Generally, heterotopias have their own “rules” -- for example, a school is a particular environment where students enter and abide by norms that are different from society as a whole.

A vacation like in the previous example could also be considered a heterotopia. It’s distinct from normal life and changes the feelings and behavior of those taking one. Thus, the ritual of bathing together that the partners bring home is an attempt to create a similar, unique situation. Rope educator Georg Barkas teaches about the heterotopia of a kink scene, wherein by participating at an event or in an intimate encounter, the individuals create a space together where they can express themselves differently.

Rituals can be heterotopic as well. The nature of a ritual itself, where behaviors are outlined in a certain way, lends them to changing the emotional experience of participants. In fact, emotional change is often one of the goals of ritual -- we want to feel something special, something that we can only really feel within specific boundaries.

Ritual in Hypnosis

Kink in general is ritualistic -- we often follow similar patterns in order to chase intimacy. For some people, negotiating in a particular way or doing certain activities in play fulfils a sense of familiarity that lends itself to this. Others in D/s relationships may have rituals built into their partnership, like referring to each other by specific titles, kneeling at special times, or other acts of submission or dominance that are sacred in some way.

Hypnosis is also ritualistic, but we don’t want to think about this in terms of sheer repetition. Doing the same rote induction or patter every time you do trance is bad practice -- it’s limited, boring, and it doesn’t allow for much exploratory growth. While we’ll explore repeating certain artifacts in terms of trance later in this article, it’s helpful to think more in terms of the kinds of feelings we evoke.

The feeling of going into trance is naturally ritualistic. Often, our learning process of how to go into trance involves becoming more familiar with what trance feels like: The way our bodies feel and the way that our internal process feels. Going into trance can become a reliable act, one where the shift in the way that we physically feel cues a shift in the way that we feel emotionally. In heterotopic terms, there are “rules” about how we behave in trance, in that we understand how we act as a hypnotized person, how we act with our partners when we’re being intimate. Importantly, part of that is that we are able to accept the responses we have as being always valid; it’s a quality of openness and curiosity rather than a limiting expectation of what hypnosis can do.

Similarly, the hypnotist has their own feelings when they are putting their partner into trance. There is a concrete emotional response to seeing an intimate partner surrender or be hypnotized, and the simple intention to play with someone changes the way that we behave. Our thought process changes and we’re familiar with this idea of “top space” that we get into when we mindfully decide, “I’m going to do this,” or get really into the zone.

Elements of Ritual in Hypnosis

We know that scenes can be naturally ritualistic, and we know the value that ritual brings to kink. But what are some further considerations to bringing more ritual into our lives during intimacy?

Sacredness

It’s hard to extricate the concept of “sacredness” from ritual, as we’re very used to understanding it from a spiritual or religious perspective. While incorporating a sense of connection to something larger than ourselves can be a thrilling practice, this doesn’t necessarily have to be about the divine or metaphysical.

“Sacred” means something to be revered or respected. We emphasize the idea of treating our partners with respect in kink, generally thinking about their agency, emotions, and identity. We also are familiar with a different kind of respect that some submissives have for their dominants, where power imbalance is what drives intense reverence.

But bringing in more of this to our scenes, mindfully, can help to create an environment where both partners are more able to focus on one another and the awesomeness of play. Really thinking about this -- as in, a sense of awe -- can put us into this space where our actions are both more intentional and also less restricted or conscious. We can do this by putting our play into context: Thinking about what we’re doing as a whole, taking a step back. Sometimes we can get used to the patterns of hypnosis and end up looking narrowly at our experiences as ones that are expected and mundane. But hypnosis itself and hypnosis in the realm of intimacy is an incredible thing -- not just when we create flashy things like orgasms but the very simple ability to change our perspectives and focus with tiny shifts and words. Reminding ourselves of that can automatically change our approach to one that is more attentive. We can also incorporate this into our hypnotic patter for our partners: “For a moment, really allow a part of yourself to zoom out and see this experience as something that’s unlike anything else, something that’s really special and crazy when you think about it.”

We can also direct that reverence towards our subject partners: Being able to see the person you’re with as someone who is doing something amazing, who is an amazing person. This may seem similar to the perspective of submission being a gift, but this doesn’t have to imply that if your relationship or scene is more about objectification, degradation, or other kinds of erotic disrespect. You can see sacredness in submission itself -- the power and intensity of it, the way that it can reduce a human being in kink. Again, you can encourage your partner to see this as well.

How to Show Respect

We might want to think about what we can concretely do in order to respect something and bring more of this quality of reverence into our scenes. Respect is a complex nominalization -- it’s a word and concept that doesn’t have a singular, solid meaning.

When we want to show respect for a person outside of kink, we may speak more carefully as well as listen more actively. We have a quality of openness when we’re engaging with someone that we deem respectful that allows us to be more patient and understanding, even of ideas that we’re unfamiliar with or don’t even necessarily agree with. We can bring this to our play -- if we think of hypnosis as a conversation, we want to really listen to our partners, allow them to express themselves both verbally and through their nonverbal or internal responses. We want them to know that we’re listening and giving them a special opportunity to be true to themselves.

This kind of listening calls for giving space -- you need to let someone talk in order to listen to them, as Barkas says. Instead of constantly talking and attempting to fill all of the silence with hypnotic patter, remember to pause and let your partner breathe and give full expressions. Really observe their responses and periodically wait for those responses to fully end before continuing. Let their sigh go all the way out; let the shift in their body complete until they’ve settled, and then let them know that you “heard” and respect that response (perhaps with a simple, “That’s right”). The speed and pace of trance is an important ingredient in scenes, and it’s important to ensure that you sometimes really slow down to appreciate the moment.

Really giving full attention facilitates these sorts of spaces, which can be as simple as facing and looking at our partners and letting our time together take precedence over other things. Be mindful about what you’re saying and try not to just go on autopilot -- see how your process changes when you purposefully observe it in tandem with your partner.

Uniqueness

A heterotopia is dependent on its contrast with the world around it. Thus, we can strive to create a distinctiveness to our scenes such that they are more clearly a space where special things can happen. So how do we facilitate this sort of uniqueness?

The ideas we’ve discussed so far -- changing the way that we pay attention -- already tend to make this happen. Remember that a heterotopia is a space that has its own rules, and in this case, we’re creating an environment where our partners know that they’re allowed to enjoy things and focus in a way that they’re not usually able to do.

You can also emphasize contrast by being conscious of physically where you are. This could mean the space that you are in -- being in a specific room, at a play party, on a bed -- or how you manage the space between you and your partner. Entering into someone’s personal space can send a strong message, and tends to communicate that you’re engaging with them intimately -- not keeping distance, as we usually do in everyday life.

Symbolism

Rituals generally contain symbolism; in magic, tools and sigils are symbolic, for example. But if there is a spoken word component, those words tend to be representative as well, and so are the actions that the participants take. The role of symbols in ritual is to highlight and enhance the purpose of the ritual itself. For example, in a spell, one might stir a cup of tea clockwise to symbolize growth.

These symbols build on each other to create the foundation for a ritual. You can think of it like storytelling -- symbols are metaphors, after all, and we’re familiar with the idea of building a metaphor that contains symbols throughout, each serving a purpose within a narrative. That narrative in a ritual is its full expression -- what is this ritual meant to evoke? For example, a common ritual in magic is casting a circle, which may involve using tools in a particular way, calling upon elements and/or divinity, and going through the motion of drawing a circle in space in order to facilitate a state of mind and good “working space.”

We can take from this model and use it in our hypnosis. Certainly there is a lot of overlap between metaphor and storytelling and hypnosis -- hypnotic metaphors are well-explored. But we can just as easily view any scene as ritualistic/narrative in nature when we pay attention to the symbols that we are playing with. Kink is also filled with symbols -- we have things like D/s symbols of kneeling or the lowering of the head, and we also have tools. In hypnosis in particular, we tend to fetishize our tools; spirals, pocket watches, hypnotic stares can all be an integral part of our kink.

We also can find symbols in our behavior -- we’re familiar with using downwards or careful motion to indicate or produce trance through touch. Words, of course, are naturally symbolic as well, especially the ones that we use in our trancing. Words are already symbols for concepts -- when we say a phrase, we are evoking a set of ideas and feelings. Anchors and triggers are words that carry special associations within a relationship.

The key is to think about what your symbols do or can represent. In magic, there can be a gendered emphasis on tools or actions, like the masculine ritual knife or the feminine chalice. (Some schools of magic are unfortunately quite heteronormative -- your interpretation of symbols doesn’t have to be.) We also see this in areas like color or herbal correspondences, where “red” may indicate sexuality and power, or lavender might be associated with calmness. Interestingly, all of these associations are what might be considered secondary metaphors: Usually, to perform a ritual or spell, you choose items that have a metaphorical quality that will work within your larger metaphor. We can use this framing in our hypnosis: What kinds of associations do our symbols carry, and how could they serve to holistically express what we want?

Repetition

We might think of repetition as an essential ingredient to rituals, especially when we think of examples outside of our kink sphere. As we discussed, ritualistic repetition in hypnosis is not about doing the same thing over and over. It’s about acknowledgement, respect, and associations.

Repetition has an impact on memory and associations. It’s one of the primary ways that we learn things and build habits. In hypnosis, we know that getting better at going into trance often involves learning what it feels like through repeated experience -- familiarity enhances all hypnotic artifacts, from trance itself to behavior modification to anchors/triggers.

Familiarity also breeds intimacy. Part of growing closer to someone is the building of a shared history together, and acknowledging those memories by revisiting them can strengthen those bonds. The role of this in ritual is to strengthen the bonds between participants as well as the sense of connection between oneself and the activity, energy, or divinity that you are making space for.

We can consider that rituals might be about doing similar things in each iteration, but they’re not usually about feeling the same things. No two rituals are identical. We are effectively different people every time that we engage in a ritual, because we are in a different place in our life. Our experience is made up of the sum of all of our past experiences, and having performed the ritual before adds that to our pool of identity. Rituals identify behaviors and symbols that are significant, and then use them to facilitate some sort of change that is revisited over time.

In hypnosis, we want to do this in the same spirit. When we bring back elements that we’ve played with before -- whether that’s in mood, tone, induction style, or activity -- we want to acknowledge and allow for a difference in experience. You can call back to previous scenes as well as make this clear: “Do you remember the last time I brought out this watch? I know it’s your favorite trope, and it’s always very special -- can you feel the difference, now, that we’re doing it while you’re here with me in this moment?”

Building Hypnotic Rituals

Now that we’ve discussed elements therein, let’s take a brief look at a framework for creating a hypnotic ritual.

Understand the purpose
- Strive for a purpose in your ritual. This could be as simple as a desire to further intimacy, or increase your partner’s feelings of submission, or it could be something more specific. For example, your ritual could center around appreciating a particular anniversary, or it could be based on an aspect of their personality or behavior that you’re looking to enhance.
Create the space
- Acknowledge that you and your partner are engaging in something out of your norm. Do this with words and actions -- be mindful of the way that you are paying attention to them, and really create an appreciation within both of you for the moment that you are in.
Tell your story
- Think about the elements and symbols that you have at your disposal and how you can weave them together to support your purpose and intentions. If you are intending to create a stronger feeling of power exchange, what are some words or actions that you can highlight as significant to enhance that sense? What is meaningful to you and your partner? What other models can you draw from in your life that carry metaphorical associations?
Create repetition
- Identify moments in your play that you can pay homage to later, allowing for change in experience but offering respect to your ongoing process. A ritual is something that is living and something that is kept up by mindful practice. Emphasize this to your partner and yourself. Don’t be afraid to change the aspects of the ritual that would benefit from updating, and give respect to the iterations of the ritual that you have already incorporated into your personal histories.