You're Dead: Chapter Three

It felt strange to wake up. I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly, but stirring that morning didn’t feel normal. It took a while for my brain to start back up, to remind me that the day before was not a dream. I died, but I remained. I was separated from everything I knew. I died and now I was a psychopomp. Whatever the hell that was.

The weight of the blankets on me felt heavy and for a moment I thought it was my sister snuggled up against me. When we were young, I woke up so often that way. She would have nightmares, caused by the stress and bullying she got at school. When I saw she wasn’t there, I peeled back the comforter to my bare legs, my naked belly. I was nude under the blankets, and even then my brain hadn’t quite cliked to the reason why.

Besides the bed was the pile of clothes Stevie had given me for when I awoke. I ran them through my hands and the fabric felt strange. They were things I had felt before, fabrics I was familiar with. My skin prickled and sort of arched towards the touch of it. The shirt felt softer than I imagined, the shorts felt lighter. I put them on, but they were a snug fit. I’d have to find something bigger later if I wanted to leave the house.

My brain still hadn’t registered it.

When I stood up I was thrown off balance, my knees gave way and I collapsed back onto the bed. I flopped down then laid there like a sack of potatoes. The thought of potatoes made my stomach snarl and gnaw at itself. I placed my hand over my belly as it grumbled hungrily. I stared up at the ceiling where moths had gathered thick in the corners. They spread out along the edges, going sideways and down. Along those edges it looked like fingers creeping out, as if a child were trying to lift the roof off a dollhouse. I stared at those fingers as they wiggled and stretched. They became wisps of smoke that the wings of the moths blew away, turning them into rings which hit against the ceiling light like and dissipated.

“That’s weird,” I muttered to myself. I tried getting up again, finding my legs were much more solid than before. I walked with a heavy gait, I noticed. My feet seemed to want to clobber the floor as I walked. I left my room finding the hallway dark and empty. My stomach continued to growl in protest. It wanted to be fed but I also needed water for this horrible cotton mouth mout. I couldn’t quite remember where the bathroom was, so I just followed where Stevie had gone last night. As I came to a door with a towel hanging out the side, I heard weeping coming from another room.

I looked across the hallway and saw Stevie sitting in the middle of her room. She was holding something but I couldn’t see it. She was sobbing, bent over and rocking herself back and forth. I didn’t know her well enough yet to bother her, so I went into the bathroom. I closed the door and turned on the light switch. The bathroom light hummed and something scurried from the ceiling and behind the shower curtain. I rubbed my face with both hands as I approached the mirror. I turned on the sink, splashing water onto my face and slurping some down. Something felt odd. I then looked up to see a stranger and I screamed.

I stumbled backwards, as did the stranger. I caught myself on the wall as Stevie started knocking on the door. “What is it, what’s wrong?”

I stood back up, facing the woman in the mirror. “Oh my god!” I clapped my hands around my face, so did the other lady. She had freckles, lots of them. Her hair was curly and mussed up on one side. Her brown eyes gazed back into mine, just as horrified as I felt.

“Daisy? Is that you?” Stevie asked. “If it’s Mrs. Mortimer, please just let me guide you back! Me being a lesbian has nothing to do with it.”

“Stevie?” I whimpered.

She sighed with relief. “Oh good, it’s you. You okay in there?”

I stepped closer to the mirror, gazing that shotgun down the barrel. The shape of the face looked oddly the same, but the contents were vastly different.

“I know what you’re thinking, but that mirror is normal!”

I walked away from the mirror in a hurry, opening the door to Stevie. She smiled down at me. “Hey! Not too bad!” She reached out and touched my hair. “I can show you how to take care of this.”

My brain finally got it. “This is me now?”

“Yeah! Say hello to the new Daisy, or whatever you want to call yourself.” Stevie wiped at her eyes, which looked red and puffy. “I hope you slept, because I did not catch a wink.”

I was looking at my hands, flipping them over to examine the palms and backs. I used to think I had such chubby, stubby fingers, but these were more long and elegant. It felt wrong. I decided to ignore it. “Are you okay?” I asked Stevie, hoping her problems would help me avoid my own.

“I’m fine, yeah!” She pointed down the hallway. “You must be starving, how about breakfast?”

My stomach responded before I could. “Yeah, that’d be good.”

Booker was passed out in the living room. He was laid back in the armchair with his feet hanging over one arm, while his head dangled over the other. Moths had gathered in the corners here as well.

“Does Booker bring the moths?” I asked.

Stevie scoffed. “No. They just show up when they want. It’s annoying. I’ll start you off with some cereal while I cook.”

“That’d be nice. I dunno why I am so hungry.”

“It’s your new body. All new, completely empty.” Stevie sighed. “Can you get the milk?”

I opened up the fridge and inside, wrapped around the milk, there was a weird creature. It hissed at me and clung to the jug with these weird pink fingers.

“I got a couple of new cereals to try yesterday. So if you don’t mind leaving me some-” She stopped as she saw me staring. “Oh, that. Just shoo it away.”

I grimaced, both at the strange creature made of pink fingers, but also how nonchalant she was. “What is it?”

“Milk goblin.” Stevie opened a box of cereal. “I usually don’t buy that brand because they’re awful for them, but I was in a hurry.”

My brow pinched. “Because that’s normal?”

Stevie was eating dry cereal from the box. “Oh right! This is your first time seeing one. Wow, your eyes have developed really fast.” She reached into the fridge, slapping away the milk goblin which fell through the fridge and hissed as it crawled along the walls. “It’ll go away eventually.”

“Oh good!” I huffed sarcastically.

“Pissed off cows put them off. Trust me, you’ll get used to it.” She waved me over to the table to sit down. “They aren’t the worst things you’ll come across.”

“I dunno, those pink fingers were pretty bad.” Once Stevie poured cereal into my bowl, all I could focus on was eating. I must have gobbled down four bowls of extremely sugary cereal before I realized it. Even then, I was still as hungry as a bear coming out of hibernation. Stevie had put some breakfast burritos in the microwave, and it was taking all my will power not to eat them half frozen.

“I can still remember that first meal I had after I woke up,” Stevie sighed. “Mara made me eggs and biscuits. She made me a baked apple with ice cream. Then she took me to a fast food drive thru and I must have eaten like fifty greasy hash browns.”

“That sounds good,” I murmured.

Stevie sighed. “Well, best enjoy this morning while you can. Once Freddie gets here, it’s going to be all work.”

“He didn’t seem too happy about it,” I grumbled. My stomach snarled with impatience.

“He’s not happy about much,” Stevie sighed. “And with Mara retiring-” Her eyes drifted off, and her lips fell into a soft pout. She inhaled deeply and held it there while watching the frying pan sizzle.

“I guess she was a pretty big deal,” I muttered.

Stevie closed her eyes and tears were forced out. They fell down her cheeks and once they fell they became suspended in midair.

“What was she like?” I asked.

Stevie shook her head. “I can’t..I can’t talk about her right now.” She cupped her hand over her mouth and took another deep breath.

I averted my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault, Daisy,” Stevie exhaled. “It couldn’t be avoided. If it wasn’t you, then it would be someone else. We all retire eventually.”

The fridge door flew open and the milk goblin flung itself out screaming. As it fell out onto the floor, Stevie kicked it into the living room. Booker started screaming and there was a loud ruckus.

Stevie sighed with relief. “That makes me feel better.”

I was still too hungry to focus on much. Once I was able to eat something else, that was all that mattered. I was halfway through a burrito as Booker came stumbling into the room. He glared at Stevie then walked around the table so I was between them.

“Good morning,” Stevie huffed.

“Stop buying that brand of milk,” he grumbled. “You know they're bad for those things.” He rubbed his neck. “Why’d you let me fall asleep like that?”

“Because I’m not your mother,” Stevie fussed at him. “Besides that, you don’t even live here!”

Booker pointed at me. “Neither does she.”

Stevie just glared, she didn’t even both adding to the argument.

“Who are you?” Booker leaned forward on the table.

I took another bite of the burrito as he watched me. “I’m not helping you,” I said with eggs and cheese in my cheek.

Booker snapped his fingers. “You got your body! Good for you. You look good.” He laughed. “How are you liking it?”

“Barely.” I took another bite.

“Takes time. But at least you’re cute. It’s easier to get used to that way. Trust me, I know.” He stretched and preened.

“Gag,” Stevie grumbled.

“I’ll let that slide,” he huffed. Booker leaned back over the table. “Everything is different now, I know. Everything feels strange, even the way your teeth bite into things. It all is awkward at first, you’re just learning how to exist again.”

I licked my lips. I hadn’t paid it much thought due to just wanting to eat. Each bite felt strange, the way I chewed even felt weird. “But, if everything's the same, then why am I different?”

Booker smiled. “Because you are. You’re different now, but that’s the point.”

Stevie set down a plate on the table. “Don’t freak her out too much, she still has to deal with Freddie.”

Booker sucked air through his teeth. “I may have to leave then.”

“Good!” Stevie huffed.

I looked over at Booker with a frown. “Is he really that bad?”

Booker frowned and shrugged. “I wouldn’t say bad. But I wouldn’t say good either. Just just...has his own way. Ever since he had that bad break up, it’s just gotten worse.”

Stevie gave him a look before she sat down at the table. “Where’s Iggy?” She was obviously changing the subject.

“He’s around I’m sure.” Booker glanced around. “Probably hiding from Freddie.”

Stevie then pointed at me. “Do you still have those scissors?”

I frowned. “Scissors?”

“Mara’s scissors,” she insisted. “You do still have them right? If not you need to go find them right now.”

I couldn’t remember. So much had happened and was happening I couldn’t keep track of even breathing. “What’s so important about the scissors?”

There was a knock at the door.

“You might be screwed,” Booker whispered. He rose from the table. “I’ll see you later, new kid.”

Stevie got up and answered the door. Freddie was standing there, dressed in a dark coat and shirt, but wearing striped red and black pants as well as a pair of very expensive looking boots.

“Good morning.” Freddie’s tone was chilled. “This is my day off, so I’d like to make this quick.” He walked in and his eyes fell upon me. A chill ran down my spine and i swallowed hard.

“Good morning,” I mumbled.

“Make sure you eat enough. It would be a waste of time to go out there and you still be hungry.” Freddie took off his coat and there was something missing.

“We’re just getting going, but she’s eaten quite a bit. Do you want anything?” She offered.

“No.” Freddie caught me staring. “You can count to one right?” He slapped his left shoulder where there was nothing attached. The Sleeve of the black shirt was rolled up and pinned  so it didn’t flap.

I flinched and was unable to speak.

“Yes. I only have one. Which means I can’t hold your hand through this process. You’re going to learn and you’re going to learn quickly. Understand?”

I nodded.

“Calm down,” Stevie fussed. “She just got her body, it’s not even been twenty-four hours for her yet. Can’t you at least try to be compassionate?”

Freddie cut his already sharp eyes at her. “That’s what you’re here for. I’m showing her what has to be done, and then you will reinforce it. I’m not a babysitter.”

“Neither am I,” Stevie argued back. “Neither was Mara, but she still did the job. She taught you, she taught me. Hell, she even somehow managed to teach-”

Freddie glared at her and Stevie went quiet. “The point is without Mara, you’re the only one we can turn to now.”

“What was your name?” Freddie turned to me.

“Daisy,” my voice squeaked. He was good looking, which was scary scar enough, but he was intimidating on top of that. I didn'tddidn’t know how I was going to deal with him.

He nodded and his lips parted. “A small flower,” he murmured. “Where are your scissors, Daisy?”

I gulped. “Scissors?”

“Mara gave them to you, correct? She had the ones that looked like moth wings.” He pulled a chain from inside his shirt. Attached to the chain was a pair of silver embroidery scissors. The handle looked like the head of a bunny while the blades made up the ears. “These are important. You cannot lose your scissors. They are our greatest and only tool. They are attached to the living world as well as the afterlife. They are extremely dangerous if in the wrong hands. So I suggest, Daisy, that you find them.”

Stevie tossed me her food truck’s keys. “They’re probably still in the truck still. Go get them.”

Freddie tucked his scissors back into his shirt. “I agree. Go get them.”

Standing up I felt uncertain. “Fine, I’ll get them.” I tugged down the shirt I was wearing as it was riding up. Walking past Freddie he grabbed hold of my arm, making me nearly jump out of my new skin.

“What?” I yelped.

Freddie’s eyes narrowed upon me and his little scowl became much more severe. His hand went down my arm then let go. While his eyes were sharp upon me, I felt his dagger like gaze could be much worse. “Who the hell dressed you?”

I was struck silent.

Stevie rolled her eyes. “I knew you’d say something about it. I gave her some of my clothes.”

“Look at her, what about her is going to fit into your workout gear, Stevie?” Freddie clicked his tongue and let me go. “We’ll deal with this later. Go get your scissors.”

Was he saying something about my weight? I didn’t like him even more. I gratefully went outside towards Stevie’s truck. I was fumbling with her keys, barely paying attention, when I heard something strange. Something was clicking and chittering, almost like a frog mixed with a beetle. Something wet splashed onto my face. I thought it might be rain, but as I touched it the substance stuck to my fingers and turned into a bright red color. It was growing hotter and hotter by the second. Sitting on top of Stevie’s truck was some strange looking creature. It had long, long arms and a skeletal mouth for a face. It spit at me and I dodged, landing hard on my ass. The creature clicked and gurgled, spitting more red at me. My hand was still partially attached to my face, which made it hard to get up. I struggled and kicked, but the monster was coming at me. Their long body slithered down the side of Stevie’s truck. Inside, I saw Iggy perk up and wave my scissors around.

The creature plopped down off the side of the truck and made a gurgling laughing sound. It’s teeth chattered, jiggling in the socket of the weird face-mouth. Iggy was tapping the scissors against the glass then dancing on the seat.

“You need to get your scissors, Daisy.”

I looked back at Freddie standing in the doorway with Stevie watching on. I was still trying to remove my hand from the sticky fluid which was still burning. “What is that?”

Freddie tilted his head down. His look was serious, but it wasn’t daggers. “It’s our job as psychopomps to take care of the souls of this world. We guide them to a peaceful afterlife, but sometimes souls linger, and when souls are forced to remain on this mortal ground they change.”

The creature lunged at me and I rolled away. The tight workout shirt rolled up under my boobs. I braced myself up just as the chattering teeth came close to me. “This is a lesson?” I screamed at Freddie.

“Yes! What better way to learn than hands on?”

“A pamphlet!” I ran around the truck while the red spitting creature gave chase. I was able to jump into the truck with Iggy who happily clapped his hands then thrust the scissors at me. “Don’t you start attacking me too!” I snatched the scissors from him. “What the fuck do I do with these?”

Iggy held out two fingers, mimicking the cutting of scissors.

The red spitting creature threw itself at the window. It’s long body crawled along the glass, slipping and sliding around.

“That’s my truck!” Stevie yelled.

Iggy continued making the snipping motions. I remember Mara snipping the scissors in my face. After that, she gave me these scissors. Was this like Greek mythology? Rather than waving a sickle about, was there just a thread that tethered us to this mortal coil?

“Get out of the truck!” Stevie continued to yell at me.

The creature was beating against the windshield. I quickly opened the door and threw myself out, rolling and nearly splitting the leggings. The creature saw me and jumped on top of me before I had a chance to get up. I stabbed it with the scissors and it cried out. I stabbed it again and something sounded almost human about its cries.

Freddie whistled loudly. “No! What do you use scissors for?”

I was just barely keeping the creature out of my face with my elbow. When I looked under the mouth I saw a thin wispy string hanging out. I cut at it and the creature turned to steam. I laid there, hoping this would be the moment I actually woke up. My eyes were burning like that time I had accidentally rubbed pepper into them.

Stevie ran to her truck, inspecting it for any damage. Freddie walked out and offered his hand to me. “Good, you saw it.”

“What if I hadn’t?” I snapped at him.

“Nothing bad would have happened.” Freddie tugged down my top for me. “Souls aren’t meant to linger on this plain forever. They become warped and change. Bitterness and anger turn putrid. And sometimes, even those with the brightest lights can burn too brightly. Our job is to assure no souls have to suffer like that.”

“So that thing was a soul?” My eyes were watering and stinging.

Freddie smoothes back my hair. “A foodie from the looks of it. Stevie’s truck often attracts souls like that. I was just lucky I found that one this morning. This one seems to have enjoyed the spicier things in life.”

“My eyes feel like they’re full of cayenne!” I whined.

Stevie stormed up beside Freddie and gave him a shove. “I know you helped pay for that truck, but stop using it for this shit!”

Freddie huffed. “The quicker she learns, the better. I was planning on taking her out for a walk, but not in that outfit. She almost went nude fighting that soul.”

Stevie grumbled under her his breath. She pushed her hair back away from her face, flexing her arms at Freddie in a threatening manner. “You’re the one with the closets. You get her some clothes then.”

“She’s far too voluptuous to fit any of my garments,” Freddie laughed.

“Then I guess I’ll run around naked!” I snapped. “No one wears oversized shirts anymore?” My eyes weren’t burning anymore, but my skin where that goop landed was beginning to itch. I sat down on the ground, rubbing my cheek. “Is this really what I have to do?”

“Yes,” Freddie knelt down near me. “This is what the role of a psychopomp is. Sometimes it’s easy, other times you come across warped souls like that one. It may not be a perfect life, but it’s all we have.”

I was feeling angry after that ambush. “What if I just don’t?”

Stevie went tense and stepped away.

Freddie’s eyes turned to daggers again. “It may not happen as quickly as regular souls, but you can still warp. It’ll just happen faster if you don’t do your job.”

My chest squeezed tight. I could barely look at Freddie, but I knew I had to. “But I thought-”

Freddie placed his palm against his chest. “These aren’t mortal bodies, Daisy. We are dead. The pomegranate seeds inside us give us our abilities, our form, and lengthen the time it takes for our souls to warp.”

I looked him up and down, my mouth falling open. “Then what’s the point?”

“I told you the point. It’s our duty.”

“Just to become mangled and turn into monsters?” I snapped at him.

Freddie scowl darkened. “You need to listen to me.”

I pushed myself off the ground and stood up. “Why? So you can keep yelling at me? You said so yourself you didn’t want to deal with me. So don’t!” I threw my hands up. “Leave me alone. Go back to whatever you do. I don’t want to do this!”

“None of us do!” Freddie yelled over me.

“Except Booker-” Stevie said weakly, trying to break tensions.

My chest heaved and tears came to my eyes. “I hate it-” I started crying.

Freddie sighed. “I know. It’s hard. I won’t lie to you and say it gets easier. You simply learn to exist.”

Stevie and Freddie took me back inside, I wept as I ate another burrito and some of Stevie’s cooking. Freddie laid out some things on the table. There was a planner that looked super fancy. I had seen some of the rich clients at the accounting firm carry them. He also laid out a brick of a flip phone. Then a money clip.

“You have a grace period of three weeks.” Freddie’s tone was cold and stern. “I suggest you start looking for a job and a place to live. We don’t need another Booker.”

I sniffled and clapped the phone shut. “How can I find a job if I’m dead?”

“Everything is in the planner.” Freddie tapped the leather cover. “That money there will last you your three weeks.

I opened up the flip phone which was a blast from the past. “What if I need to go to the hospital?”

Freddie pointed to Stevie. “You call her. Once you’ve proven yourself you can get a better phone. But right now you cannot be trusted with it or the internet. That phone is there for emergencies only. It will only call me or Stevie. We can’t risk you calling up people you know and trying to get back in touch with them.”

“Is it over?” Booker came walking through the door.

Stevie seethed, sucking air through her teeth while tensing her jaw. “I locked that door.”

“I opened that door.” Booker came into the kitchen then held out a bag to me. “I brought you some of my old things. Thought they’d suit better than Stevie’s stuff. Oh! Cool phone!” He took my phone from my hand as I opened the bag.

“I’m surprised, Booker,” FBreddie sounded amused. “You’ve never been this proactive before.”

Booker was tapping away at my phone. “Daisy’s cool. She’s not a killjoy like the two of you.” Both Stevie and Freddie turned annoyed real fast.

Inside the bag were some t-shirts, a pair of slides, a pair of joggers, and some tattered jean shorts. “Thanks, Booker,” I murmured.

“Go get changed then,” Freddie huffed. “I’ll show you around so you can see the city with your new eyes.”

I took the bag with me to the bathroom. I set it down on the counter and I caught that stranger in the mirror again. I held my gasp in my chest, staring at myself, but feeling I was looking at someone else. The eyes looked familiar and sad. They were also bloodshot from earlier. The cheek was puffy and red as well.

I traced the face, taking my fingertips down around my jaw. I felt a softness there, but not so much that I couldn't feel the rigid jaw line beneath. I went up the cheek where it felt soft and plump. The lips were fuller than before. The nose was rounder when before it had been hooked. And there was no scar from a nose piercing made in bad judgement. The eyes were brighter, less droopy, and the brows were thicker. This was me now, and I hated looking at her.

I got dressed in the joggers and a t-shirt that was blue tie dye with a giant shark’s head. I looked at the stranger one last time, watching them as they wiped the tears from their bloodshot eyes. I walked back out into the hallway and Booker was standing there.

“The clothes fit,” I sniffled.

Booker gave me a smile, then he gave me the first hug I received since I died. I clung to him, holding onto that feeling of comfort more than him. I pressed my face into his chest, trying not to cry and failing. His big hands rubbed up and down my back. “You got this. You’re not as small as you think.” He placed my phone back into my hands. “I added my number.”

I cried a little more just from Booker’s hug. “Thank you,” my voice cracked.

“Just don’t tell, Freddie,” he whispered. “He’d kick my ass if he knew”

I smiled at Booker. “How come you’re being so nice to me?”

He shrugged. “Good question. I’ve got no clue.”

I used the hem of the shirt to wipe my face. “What do you mean?”

“Like I said, I have no clue. I’ve never been a helper. I’m more of what you’d call a hindrance. I like to do things my way, and Freddie has his way. I tend to stay out of it, but I stick around them because it’s hard to find like minded people.” He then huffed and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Iggy likes you so-”

“Is he still in the truck?”

Booker turned around and looked towards the door.  “Oh crap is that where he is?”

I smiled at him. “Thanks. I could really use a friend right now.”

“Are you ready?” Freddie called me.

I walked out with Booker and Freddie got a look on his face. “I suppose this will have to do for now.” He sighed over the outfit. “At least it keeps you covered.”

“Why are you so picky about what I’m wearing?” I scoffed.

Freddie arched his brow which tugged strangely due to his scar. “I have a lot to say about what people are wearing. But I hate to see a cute person dulled by bad clothes.”

My cheeks burned, but for more than what that warped soul spit at me. Did Freddie call me cute just then?