Vintage Misery: Part Five (complete)

How many times was I going to sit in this diner under duress? That was all I could think as I sat there staring at my coffee, while Neil was using Mercy’s body to shovel food into his mouth like a Hungry, Hungry Hippo eats marbles. It was kind of unnerving to see. “That’s not even your body,” I grunted. “You should be respectful.”

“It’s just food.” Neil held a fork heaped with hashbrowns on the end in one hand, while the other clutched a spoon full of cheesy grits.

“I don’t have the time or strength to get into just how many levels of wrong it actually is.” I rubbed at my forehead, where the beginnings of a throbbing headache were taking root. “We need to think of a plan. If Officer Pitbull wakes up, he’ll be after us by dawn. And who knows how many people the Harvey sisters have under their control here? At night, they’re going to come back out again.”

“Let’s just go and burn the place down, like you said before. This guy isn’t in there anymore, it’s fine.” Neil patted Mercy’s chest, then plunged back into his food.

“But what if he’s under the sisters’ control when he comes to?” I ask. “He may try and go back to the house, or worse, try and take me back to the house.”

“What about the Alpha Sigma Alpha house?” Neil asked. “Let’s go burn that down, and open up that murder hole for the world to see.”

“Maybe,” I huffed. “I just wish I could think for five minutes.”

Neil set down his fork and spoon and leaned over the table. “Let’s go find some pot.”

“No. Holy shit, just stop,” I snapped at him. “We are not smoking pot at a time like this! Get that out of your head.”

Neil pouted and picked up the fork again. “This guy feels like what I think shredded wheat must taste like. He must eat nothing but whole-grain bread.” He tucked into some bacon.

I leaned back in the booth. “If I just knew some way to fight these vampires, maybe I’d have a chance. I just get the gnawing feeling fire would only piss them off.”

“Why not call your parents?” Neil looked up at me. “Maybe they know something.”

I gave him a frown. “I can’t call my parents. Do you know what sort of apocalypse that would set off?”

“You’re in danger,” Neil pointed out. “They’ll set aside their issues for five seconds or longer to make sure you’re safe. I’m sure they have an inkling of what vampires really are. I’m telling you, call them right now.” He pointed to the phone booth outside.

“Okay. But look up from your eggs every once in a while to make sure I’m still alive out there.” I got up from the booth and exited the diner. The phone booth was hot, and the receiver felt like lava when I lifted it. I slid in the coins, then hovered my finger over the dial pad. How hard it would be to hear one of my parents’ voices right now. I dialed, pressing the numbers firmly so I didn’t get it wrong.

The phone rang once, twice, three times, four. One more ring and it would go to the answering machine. I braced myself for the tone, and then… “Good afternoon, Young Paranormal Research. How may I help you?”

I stood there, terrified. Last night I had prayed for Dad to show up, and now his voice was right inside my ear. I took a breath and held it as I tried once again to work up the nerve to speak to him. “Hello?” he said.

“Hi.” I finally let it out. “It’s me.”

“Alice!” He was breathless. “We got your message the other day. I didn’t expect you to call back so soon. Is everything all right?”

No. “Somewhat,” I swallowed. “I just have a really odd question for you.”

He chuckled, sounding relieved. “A question? Is that all? Are you sure there’s not something foul afoot?”

There was, but I could never tell him. There’d be no point in making him worry more than he usually did. “Yeah. Uh, it’s weird, but I’m just trying to win a bet.” I cleared my throat. “I know we - you mostly dealt with ghosts. But have you ever heard anything about vampires?”

“Vampire, huh?” Dad chuckled. “Well, it’s not all crosses and garlic and weird European accents. It’s a lot more scary.”

“Dad, I get it. I’m not in your lecture hall,” I scoffed. “What do you know about actually killing vampires?”

“It's a bit grotesque, but the best way to deal with any reanimated corpse is to behead it and then burn it.” He said it so simply.

“That’s it? Decapitate and burn?” I asked.

“Decapitate and burn,” he confirmed. “Why do you ask?”

“A stake through the heart won’t work?” I asked. “I mean, is there any way to kill a vampire without getting anywhere near it?”

Dad paused to think for a moment. “Not to my knowledge.”

“Damn,” I grumped.

“Is there a reason you’re asking this, Alice?” he repeated. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

I frowned. There was a lot I needed to tell him. “No. I’m just curious after seeing a movie. I’ve gotta go, though. Once I’m done here, I think I’ll try and come home for a bit.”

“You don’t need to be afraid to come home, Alice,” Dad said softly. “Your mom and I would love to see you soon.”

“Hopefully,” I swallowed. “Well, I’ll talk to you later. Okay?”

“Yeah, we’ll see you soon, Alice. Bye.”

I hung up the phone and stood there for a moment, hand still clutching the receiver. It was daylight, so I supposed now was as good a time as any to go back to that house. I went back into the diner, finding Neil half asleep in the booth. “Hey,” I snapped my fingers in front of his face. “Up and at ‘em. We’ve gotta go.”

“Can’t we just linger here a bit?” Neil whined.

I grabbed his arm and yanked him out of the booth. “No. We’re back to the burning plan. We just gotta do something else first.”

“Oh, really?” Neil yawned as he followed behind me. “And what would that be?”

“We gotta go inside and chop their heads off,” I answered.

Neil ran into the glass door, mistakenly thinking he could still pass through it in Mercy’s body. “Are you crazy? We can’t just go into that house!”

“With any luck, since it’s daytime, they’ll be asleep. We can go in, chop their heads off, then leave and set the place on fire.”

We got back into Officer Pitbull’s car and drove back to the Harvey house in silence. Once there, I parked the car away from the house, and we got out to approach on foot. I saw some people patrolling outside, including Officer Pitbull himself. “We aren’t getting in there,” I murmured. “What do we do now?”

Neil snapped his fingers. “Okay, hear me out. We could start digging, and…”

“No, Neil. Not the plan of a five-year-old.” I sat down on the grass. “Okay, last night while you were looking for Mercy, did you notice anything in the house? A secret entrance? Hurricane cellar doors? Anything.”

Neil pondered for a second, rubbing his chin. He started petting Mercy’s mustache and began to giggle. “Focus, Neil!” I snapped at him.

“Sorry,” he cleared his throat. “I found Mercy in the cellar, but I didn’t see any doors. I did see a big drain and a ladder leading down into it.”

“A big drain?” I asked. “Like one that would lead into those underground caverns?”

Neil glared at me. “We can’t go in there again, Al! It was scary enough the first time, and that first time, I was still dead. I’m not wandering around in some underground labyrinth of death and decay to find a ladder, maybe.”

“That's all we’ve got. We try going in through the front door, Officer Pitbull and the other vampire slaves are going to rip me to shreds.”

“I thought they wanted you alive?” Neil said.

“I don’t fucking know anymore. I just know we need to kill them.” I scoffed as I turned back to the car.

“You know, I keep thinking about it, and now that this Mercy guy is safe… why does it matter to you?” Neil asked.

I froze.

“Why does it matter if these vampires are dead or what happens to this place?” Neil went on, sounding exhausted. “You have a car now. Granted it’s a stolen cop car, but I’ve done that kind of theft before,” he chuckled. “You can leave. There’s nothing keeping you here. Forget this place, let it go back to how it’s always been. You can pretend this town doesn’t exist. Why are you and you alone trying to kill four damn vampires?”

Why was I still here? In a way, Neil was right. Mercy was safe, and once he came to, he’d be able to get himself out of here. Why should I stay and fight for a town where I know only three people, tops? Two of them I hated. I turned and looked back at Neil, and I knew what the answer was. “Because, okay?” I scoffed, throwing my arms out. “Now, move, I need you to carry stuff. We’re just going to leave the car here.”

“Because,” Neil grumbled under his breath as he followed along beside me. “Fine. You get killed. But when you do, I’m the boss! Your ghost boss.”

I filled a duffel bag full of the things I bought last night - the gas, the newspapers, the hairspray and lighters. I put the flare gun in my pocket, as well as a few extra canisters. There was a flashlight in the glove box, as well as a gun. “Unregistered, I assume,” I said as I pocketed it as well.

“Why are we leaving the car here?” Neil pouted.

I stood up and closed the door quietly. “So that when we light this tinderbox, we can run and have our getaway right there.”

Neil looked at me in surprise. “That makes a whole lot of sense.”

The overpass was roped off, and cop cars were parked there, but no one was around. We climbed down to the water, finding caution tape everywhere. The grate was chained with a nasty-looking padlock. “We should have bought a bolt cutter,” Neil tutted.

I took Officer Pitbull’s keys from my pocket and started trying keys on a whim. The third key unlocked the padlock. “How’d you do that?” Neil said in awe.

“Never mind that. Let’s go.” I clicked on the flashlight, pleased to see how high-powered it was. I started going over a map in my head, thinking about which direction to go to reach the Harvey house.

I climbed down the ladder beneath the grate. There was blood everywhere along the walls, huge splatters of it. Viscera and chunks of bone too. Neil heaved. “Oh, god.”

“You’re gonna throw up, aren’t you?” I snapped.

Neil turned away from me and hunkered over, shaking his head. “No.” He heaved again, holding his mouth and then bending at the knees.

“All that food! You waste more food than anyone dead should! Just hurry up, okay?” I kept walking on, hearing Neil spew behind me.

I entered the cavern, feeling those same uneasy chills I had before. The strong flashlight illuminated the entire space, revealing it wasn’t as big as it was in my mind. There was blood in the water, and bits of flesh floating on top. If I wasn’t careful, I’d throw up like Neil. I steeled myself and kept the map in my mind’s eye. The Harvey house was behind and to the left, so if I wanted to find the way in there, I would go in the opposite direction of where I had come the last time. I moved the flashlight down a narrow corridor between the rocky walls. I frowned, really uncomfortable with having to inch down such a passageway.

“He’s back.” Neil floated in front of me.

I turned around, accidentally shining the flashlight in Mercy’s eyes. He yelled, and I nearly dropped it as he wiped at his sweaty face. “What happened?” he groaned.

I came closer. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m not sure,” he grumbled. “One second I was talking to that girl, and then I woke up vomiting.” He turned and spat. “When did I get here?”

“It’s hard to explain. In fact, it may sound crazy. But I’m just glad you’re okay. I was worried.” I smiled uneasily at him. There could be a small chance he was under Beth’s control, like Officer Pitbull.

“After meeting you, nothing seems too crazy these days. So tell me, what’s going on?”

“Vampires,” I stated simply.

Mercy’s eyes widened, then narrowed. “Vampires?”

“The Harvey sisters. I think Beth, the girl I asked you to check on, is their leader. They also may be the Herve sisters that you researched. In fact, I’m almost certain about that. I met the ghost of Louis in the jail cell, and he all but confirmed it.” I fidgeted, wondering if I should continue. “Oh, and your boss is being mind-controlled by them.”

Mercy frowned and rubbed the back of his head. “That actually explains a lot of the closed missing persons cases.” He took a deep breath. “Alright, then. What do I need to do?”

I was relieved, but still scared for him. “The house is surrounded, but there’s a way to get into the Harvey house from here. We need to get into the house before nightfall, chop off the vampires’ heads and burn the place to the ground.”

That’s when Mercy grew apprehensive. “I’ve… I’ve never had to kill anyone before.”

I took hold of his shoulder and squeezed. “These aren’t exactly anyone, Mercy. These are vampires who have killed thousands of people in this town since the nineteenth century. They’re predators, actual monsters. They killed those two girls and two officers last night, maybe more. This is a question of preventing more deaths.”

“Maybe.” Mercy looked green around the gills.

“Just follow me, I’ll do the beheading.” I turned the flashlight back on and pointed to the corridor, then took out the flare gun. “I think we have to go that way. Maybe we should shoot this out and see what we’re dealing with ahead.”

“No!” Mercy took the gun from my hand, and I saw it was the actual gun. “How’d you mix that up?” He put the gun into his own back pocket.

“Sorry.” I took out the flare and handed it to him, letting him aim. The flare struck the roof, but it illuminated the entire cavern. There was a fresh arm dead ahead, which made Mercy throw up the rest of Neil’s breakfast.

“I see what you’re saying now,” Neil said. “That really is a waste.”

“No shit.” I waited until Mercy was done, and we continued on ahead.

We had to wade into the water in order to go through the corridor, which was wide enough for just one person. I sent Neil ahead, despite his protests, just to keep an eye out should anything be waiting for us. The further we went, the deeper the water became, rising up my legs to my knees. Further in it crept up my thighs, then to the waistband of my pants. Surely it couldn’t be much farther now.

“Wait, stop.” Mercy grabbed my arm from behind. “Do you hear that?”

The sound of water had been almost all I could hear. But I stopped and paid attention, and heard a sort of raspy, nasal breathing. “What is that?” Mercy whispered.

I shook my head. “I don’t know.” I looked ahead to Neil, who hadn’t noticed we had stopped. I aimed the flashlight at the ceiling, and what I saw there almost made me drop the flashlight into the water. All along the ceiling were huge, grotesque batlike creatures, wrapped up in leathery wings. Their humanoid, pug-nosed faces were twitching and stirring, obviously bothered by the light shining on them and the flare we had shot.

“Oh my god.” Mercy pulled my arm, making me move the flashlight away. The creatures seemed to be the size of humans, but from the brief, terrifying glimpse I got of them, I couldn’t tell what was real and what my mind was exaggerating.

“That explains why they drop the bodies down here. Those things must dispose of them,” I rasped.

“What are they?” Mercy hissed.

“Children, maybe? How should I know?” I grabbed his hand, pulling him along. “Let’s just hope none of them wake up.”

“What if there are more up ahead?” Mercy trembled.

“Then I guess we’ll die.” I gave his hand a hard squeeze. “But hopefully that won’t happen.”

We came out of the corridor, wading waist-deep in the water. I shined the flashlight ahead, too afraid to point it at the ceiling and see what was up there. “There’s a ladder up ahead,” I heard Neil call to me. “I think this is it.”

“Just a little bit further,” I said to Mercy. “I think we’re almost there.”

There was a chittering sound behind us, and the sound grew from one to many, a cacophony of screeching. The rustle of wings and bodies moving followed. I shined the light down the corridor, and the exit doorway had grown black with all the bodies of the bat-like creatures crawling out. I grabbed Mercy, pulling him under the water with me as they lunged.