Satyr Boyfriend: Hael (rough draft)

When you were younger, you had been stolen from your bed while you slept. It wasn’t something rare or even strange to happen, it just was happening. What was odd was what happened a few days later. You and a bunch of other children were hidden on a boat. Since you were one of the eldest, you were helping take care of some of the younger ones. You were telling them stories, hoping they would fall asleep, when you all heard something strange from above. There was shouting and scuffling, and you heard people falling into the water.

You and the other older kids took action, hiding the younger ones deeper below the deck to keep them safe. It wouldn’t be surprising at all that you would be taken from one frying pan and tossed into a boiling cauldron. You and the others stood ready to fight off whoever was coming to protect the younger kids. You didn’t have much except your own will to survive, but you were ready for a fight.

“Don’t worry,” someone said gently. “We’re not here to hurt you. We’re here to get you home.” It was so strange to hear a kind voice after all this time. Being on this ship for so long, being treated like less than an animal, you weren’t sure how to act.

The man that approached you set his weapons aside at the door and held his hands out to you. He had scars on his skin, and his hair was shorn so you could see the base of the horns on his head. Looking closer, you saw he was a Satyr. It was his eyes though, this soft, grey green shade that you focused on. He smiled, offering his hands to you again. You weren’t sure what to do, you started crying as you held his hands. With his help, you and the others were able to escape to freedom and find home again. But he remained heavy on your mind.

It was years later now, and your experiences led you to taking up with a monastery that ran as an orphanage. You helped children, taught them, gave them a safe place to call home. Sometime you took in the sick and wounded that came to your door as well. You started a garden which helped bring in food and money to the orphanage. You kept what you needed, sold the rest, and it taught the children along the way. You were happy and content here.

Then, one night, there was a knock upon the door. You made sure the children remained asleep before you left. When you went downstairs, two of the other monks were holding up a man who had fallen through the door. They dragged him inside, taking him to the library where they rest him before the fire. You went and fetched water, going to help the man drink. Once you see him though, you lose your breath. It has been years now, but you recognize him immediately. His hair has grown long and hangs in a greasy around his head. His eyes open slow and you see that beautiful muted green that drew you in before.

“Here, drink,” you offer quickly.

He touches your hand as you hold the cup, keeping it there as he drinks. “Forgive me,” he pants when he has his fill. “I must have given you fright.”

“We’re prepared for visits like this,” the head monk replies. “Not to worry. You’re in good hands right now.”

The Satyr looks down at you then smiles weakly. “I can just rest for the night. You don’t need to worry over me.”

You wanted to tell him how he saved your life years ago, how he had remained heavy and beautiful on your mind ever since. Instead, what came out of your mouth was a cracky excuse. “Let me make you a bed.”

He nods weakly. “Thank you.”

You stop before leaving and look back at him. “Are you hungry, sir?” You ask. “Perhaps something to eat would help you.”

“I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You are nothing of the sort, sir,” you insist. “That’s what we are here for, to serve the weak and the helpless.”

The Satyr smiles and closes his eyes. “For now I just want rest. I can eat come morning when you are prepared for such things.”

You steal one last look at him before you go to make up one of the spare beds. Your hands are shaking from the excitement. You could not forget his face anywhere, ever since youth he has been in your thoughts, your dreams. You made the bed and returned to fetch him, finding he was half asleep again.

You touch his shoulder, shaking him gently. His body felt cold to the touch. You shake a little harder and he stirs. His eyes flutter then flick open and his hand grabs your wrist like a scared viper. He stared at you, eyes wide, breath shuddered. He then relaxes, moving your hand away before he releases it.

“Sorry, force of habit.” He mutters.

“It's quite alright.” You swallow as he rises. He stands a little shorter than you, which is surprising. You remember him so tall and mighty in your head. “Your bed is ready, sir.”

“Thank you.” He looks at you, his face disheveled, eyes heavy. He looks so painfully exhausted and weak. “Call me Hael, please.”

You never knew his name, and knowing it makes you smile. “Yes, Hael,” you breathe. “This way.”

You barely sleep after that, knowing he is there makes you crawl with excitement. You grin in the morning as you help to prepare breakfast. You get the children to wash their hands, singing rather than prattling through the regular prayers. At the breakfast table, you get the kids settled and fed before you go to check on your guest.

Hael is sitting on the edge of the bed, rubbing his hands between his hands.

“Good morning.” You bite back all the excitement within you. “We have plenty of food if you’d like to come and join us.”

Hael sighs heavily. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this was an orphanage.”

“It’s alright. Really. We’re here to help everyone in need.” You approach him and offer out your hand. “Come and join us. I insist.”

He looks over your hand and brushes it aside, standing on his own. He begins to pull on his tunic when you notice a bloody bandage on his back. “Are you hurt?”

Hael pulls away from you, hurriedly tugging down his shirt. “Once I have a meal, I promise I will be on my way.”

You frown after him as he heads towards the door. You take him into the dining hall, giving him a seat then filling his plate with food. The children look back and whisper. Strangers are not new to them, but still, children love to whisper.

Hael eats his food slowly, savoring each bite like he hasn’t had a warm meal in ages. He sighs heavily, seeming uncomfortable in his seat. After his plate is empty, he sits there, gazing across the room, watching the children as they go to watch their own plates then hurry off to tend to their duties around the monastery. You approach him again, taking his plate.

“Would you like seconds?” You ask.

He shakes his head. “Are you sure the kids have eaten enough?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” you chuckle. “That is why I am asking if you have had enough.”

Hael barely looks at you, his stare going distant again as one of your youngest takes her chair to the sink so she can wash her dish. He smiles softly. “It looks like the kids are happy here.”

“We try to make it so. I know what it’s like.” The chance to thank him arrives again. The opportunity to tell him he saved your life. But you grow nervous again.

“Do you?” Hael sighs.

You nod and hum your reply. Why can’t you just say something to him? Hael stands up, and on his back you notice he is bleeding through his shirt. He winces, touching the bloody patch and he bends over the table.

“Come now.” You put your arm around him. “Let me see to that.” You take him back to his room where you attempt to take care of it.

“Just put a bandage on it,” he argues. Fighting as you try to move the old one away so you can see whats wrong.

“Keep your hands still,” you fuss at him. “It’s bleeding a lot, it needs more than a fresh bandage.” Once you’re able to move the old one away he cries out in pain. Skin goes with the bandage as it had crusted over at the edges. His knees buckle and you manage to get him laying on the bed.

“This needs to be cleaned,” you huff. “It’s looking infected. Stay here!” You say commandingly. “Let me go get my kit.” You go into the hall and have one of the elder children go keep an eye on Hael so he didn’t try to leave. You fetch your medical kit and return. You take off your robes and sit down by the edge of the bed.

“Oh,” Hael murmurs. “I thought you were a woman.”

You glance into his eyes then back to the wound which you are carefully trying to clean. “I don’t really consider myself anything. Just a vessel to spread some kindness into this world.”

Hael sighs and closes his eyes tight. “A vessel,” he laughs. “Didn’t realize vases had such pretty faces.”

Your cheeks grow warm. “Now, now, just try to breathe. I know this hurts.” From the looks of it, it appears to be a shallow stab wound, but do to the infection, it’s hard to tell. You manage to get most of the festered skin away and have cleaned out as best you can. But now, you will need to pour the alcohol into the wound.

“Take my hand.” You tell him. “This is going to hurt.”

Hael chuckles. “Try me.”

You keep your hand out to him as you pour the undiluted alcohol onto the wound. He screams, nearly thrashing, and he grabs tightly onto your hand. He squeezes tight, whimpering as the sting goes down. You keep a clean cloth pressed there, giving the alcohol time to work.

“I thought I knew pain,” Hael whimpered into the pillow.

You finish by applying balm to the wound and have him sit up so you can wrap the bandage around his waist. “Stay here as long as you need. We have the room and supplies to take care of one more.”

“I shouldn’t,” he whispers.

“You should. Trust me, you need to rest and allow that to heal. Plus, you won’t find better care anywhere else around here. Trust me. Outside this monastery they would just insist on cutting it off.”

He chuckles again. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You won’t.” You insist. “But, if you feel you must do something, you can always participate in some of our chores. But I would insist you stick to light ones, such as washing vegetables.”

“It is a simple wound,” he insists. “I can pull my own weight if I must.”

“Yes, but then that means you are not resting.” You give him a smile as you put your robe back on. “Take time to heal, Hael. You deserve it.”

His eyes go distant and his jaw goes stiff. “How do you know what I deserve?”

“All living creatures deserve kindness,” you implore. “So, if you would like, I can get you some warm water for a wash. I can even get you a razor if you’d like to shave.”

Hael rubs his jaw. “It has been a while.”

“Just stay here and relax. I’ll be back soon with everything you will need.” You close the door to his room behind you. You touch your face, wondering if he saw you blushing. He said you had a pretty face. Often the children called you that, but it had been a long time since someone else complimented you in such a way.

When you returned to Hael’s room, you had soap, a razor, and hot water for him to wash. You placed the things on the desk and offered him a clean towel. “I just ask you to take care of your own supplies,” you tell him. “Here, we teach the kids responsibility and life skills by having them take care of their own belongings. So we lead as adults by doing the same.”

“You don’t need to explain to me.” Hael took the towel. “I will do my part.”

You nod. “I’ll leave you be for now. If you need anything, I will be out in the garden.”You have a chance again to speak up and tell him everything. But instead you turn and leave, questioning why you can’t say anything to him.

You work hard in the garden that afternoon. You’re preparing for a harvest as well as planting crops for the winter months. The kids are excited, planning what they will do when you take your supplies to market. They kids are always in charge, all you do is set prices, but the kids are the ones who eagerly anticipate dealing with customers, creating signs, and taking care of the stall. They always do a wonderful job, and sometimes, it even helps to find them homes. You just wish you could do it more often.

That evening at supper, Hael comes into the dining hall himself. He has washed and shaved. His hair is quite long and silvery blonde. It hangs in tousled waves which he pushes back shyly from his face. You approach him with an offered plate.

“You look shiny and new,” you say to him.

Hael’s smile is faint. “I didn’t realize how bad I had gotten. Thank you.”

“No need to thank me. Now, go fill your plate, we have something special tonight from the garden prepared. I think the kids are excited to see you try it.” You go back to your seat, occasionally watching Hael. He goes to sit and eat on his own, having gotten a hefty helping of the fresh tomatoes the kids harvested that day. That’s when you notice the youngest girl gets up and takes her plate to join Hael. He smiles at her, uncertain by her presence. She chats away happily, offering him bites from her plates which he kindly refuses. It’s quite the sweet scene, especially when he warms up to her presence.

You go to the table after you finish eating. “Mera, did you enjoy your meal.”

She nods excitedly. “He was eating alone.”

“You did very good, thank you for taking care of our guest. Why don’t you get washed up for story time?”

Mera stares up at Hael. “Will you be joining us?”

“I-” he flinches. “Maybe.”

Mera takes her plate and hopes off her chair, taking it with her so she can reach to wash it. You smile and turn to Hael. “Making friends already.”

“Very sweet girl,” he murmurs.

“She is.”

“How did she come here?” Hael asks, his voice low and quiet so the other children do not hear him.

“She was left here as a baby,” you answer. “We’re all she’s known.”

A stricken look crosses his face and he rises. “What is story time?”

You smile. “We all gather in the library and we read together. You might like it.”

Hael takes his dish and silently goes to wash it. He leaves the dining hall to go back to his room. Once you’ve finished cleaning the kitchen, you go to the library where the kids are waiting. Some are reading to themselves while others are waiting for you to begin ready aloud.

You had been taught here at the monastery how to read, so it had been a passion for you to teach the children. Not many got the privilege to do so, especially in these areas. So you worked hard to pass around the knowledge. As you read, you looked up, seeing Hael watching from the doorway. You smiled towards him, continuing reading while feeling a sudden shyness prickle over you.

Hael left before the story was over, but his presence still made you feel slightly shy. You took the kids to bed, making sure they were tucked in and warm before heading back downstairs. You returned to the library, picking up the book you had been reading from. You took off your robe and sat down before the fire. You leaned back, relaxing and slowly drifting.

“Oh, you’re still here.”

You look up, rubbing sleep from your eyes as Hael stands in the doorway again. “Is everything alright?” You ask.

“Don’t worry,” Hael murmurs. “I just-”

You rise from your seat. “No, go ahead, I’m here to help.”

Hael looks around the library. “Do you have any maps here?”

You nod, going to a corner where you had some folded up behind the books. “Just a few. Is there something you are searching for?”

“A village,” he says quietly.

You take out the maps for him. “They’re quite old.”

“That’s fine.” He clutches them in his hand and nods gently. “Thank you.” His eyes look into yours and instantly, you face grows warm. “Maybe, I could just ask too.”

“Are you looking for something?” You ask.

He goes over to the table, laying out one of the maps. “The village, I believe, is called Clercourt, it’s surrounded by the Cler river. It’s known for its fishing trade.”

“I know what you speak of,” you murmur. “I’m afraid Clercourt was burned down ages ago.”

“I know, I just need to know where it was.”

You furrow your brow as you look at him. “It’s south of here,” you say. “The old bridges have been burnt down, but some thieves and drifters have built makeshift ones to scavenge the ruins.”

“That’s fine.” He keeps quiet, even distant.

You approach him, wanting to thank him for saving you all those years ago. You want to tell him, you need to, but it keeps getting stuck in your chest. You’re unable to push it out, and it’s frustrating because you don’t know why.

“How long would it take to get there?”

“A day or two. But you aren’t in any shape to travel right now.”

Hael scowls and rubs at something hanging around his neck. “It’s taken too long as it is,” he growls under his breath.

“What has?” You whisper. “Maybe I can help.”

He cuts his eyes at you. “Someone I owe a favor to lived there. I made a promise before they died.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” you whisper.

Hael’s eyes become distant again as he folds up the map. “Nothing to worry over. Not for you anyways.” He hands the map back to you.

You take the map and nod. “I understand. But if there is anything I can help you with, please, let me know.”

Hael’s eyes narrowed upon you and he tilted his chin up. “You said so yourself you teach the kids by giving them their own responsibilities. So why worry over mine?”

“Because-” You say breathlessly, begging that whatever power is holding your mouth shut will let you speak. “Because I-” You fidget with the map in your hands.

His stare turned into a sharp glare. “Because?”

Your breath shuddered and you had to set the map aside, afraid you might tear it. Looking away from him, you felt a sense of relief. “Because I owe you my life.”

Hael’s glare softens again. “For what?”

“It was a long time ago. I was young, and I had been kidnapped. I’m not sure exactly who it was, I just know they planned to sell me and the other children they had taken. You saved us, or at least, you led the charge that saved us.” You start to shake. “I would recognize you anywhere.”

Hael’s eyes grow large and he lets out a long sigh that turns into a slight sob. “I see.” He smiles. “You don’t need to thank me for that.”

“But I do, I’ve been dying to! It’s just-” You have to laugh. “I haven’t been sure how to say my gratitude correctly.”

“Seeing what you do here, it’s enough.” Hael still sounds breathless. “You needn’t say more.”

“But I want to help you,” your voice warbles. “Please.”

Hael looks at you with those beautiful eyes, making your heart skip and your smile grow. “Take me to Clercourt. That’s all I ask.”

You break into a big grin. “I can do that. But only once your wound has closed. That is all I ask you to wait for.”

Hael grimaces but nods his head. “Fine. I will wait for then, and only then. I cannot wait on this much longer.”

“I promise.” You hold your hand out to him.

He takes it and squeezes.