Nef

The Seed

I do not like this cover but one of my friends raved and told me I had to post it so I am. I think I can do it better bc I hesitate a lot whether it is noticeable or not. I dont think its terrible or anything I just know it def could be improved but I wont be able to post for two days so here you gooooooooo

STG this is not fake but I think its funny

I need to work more on this song bc its really nice! I like it so far but theres a few parts I am improvising on rather than doing them how they should be bc I forget but when I hear it originally I like the original way better so Ill post a better cover tn!

Dandelion Wine - Gregory

Original extended

okay so I have no concept of if this okay or not bc you cant be objective when something is written by you (i have a hard enough time not hating my covers) I just basically wanna know if you think this has potential. Ill write a million other things in the future so its okay if this one sucks. idddkkkkk just lmk :)

Daylight - Watchhouse

Original???

will work on more but first try at being original like you've been telling me to try

Pink Skies

BRIBING MY WAY TO NYC

I’m in shock because this happened 5 min ago:

I went to the wrong part of dc. I am at my usual bus station that I go to NYC from and was running around trying to find my bus and couldn’t!! with 5 minutes to spare I’m asking every info booth where to go and they’re all saying I’m in the wrong place 25 min away, and there’s nothing I can do but take a late bus. At 3:28 I run up to a bus leaving at 3:30. Mischievous but Kind looking Middle Aged Asian guy was the bus driver. I look at him and plead asking if there’s any way I can buy a ticket. He says yes. “$30 cash only”. I then realize I was bribing him, and handed him a 20,5, and 3 $1 bills(all that was in my wallet). Being the mischievous but kind man he is, he handed the 3 $1 bills from my bribe back and told me to treat myself. Anyways I am on my way to NYC

(New Fave Cover) The Gruge - Olivia Rodrigo

I spent literally the last 3 hours working on this. I will be refining this until it is PERFECT so expect this cover played constantly

Quick Beabadoobie Cover :) Real Man

Not perfect learned this bc its SO CATCHY ykkkk???

Currywurst 🥳

A poem:

No normal Currywurst here

But do not be in fear

It’s secretly käsekrainer my dear

Basically I walked past this German restaurant and I was SO hungry and went in to try it. I SPENT $25 on it 💀 (its max €6 in Austria). Worth it though bc the host switched the sausage to käsekrainer for me and it’s the best Currywurst I’ve ever had.

:3

Pure as the driven snow - hunger games

love this song, love this entire soundtrack

also this is a 1 take so its not totally perfect but BETTER THAN NO POST AMIRIGHT :)

Lacy - Olivia Rodrigo

I had schmex with god and it couldve gone better - Juno Lev

Villain Origin Story

Lmk what you guys think story wise. I need to edit it A LOT, lots of photos etc, but then ill post on YT

Mini Pep Talk on Dedication and Improvement.

I don't really believe failure exists unless you're betting on luck. In my own experience, the only times I have failed have been when I gave up. Ultimately this is all false if you are not willing to put in the effort to achieve your goals, ie. you can't be the best chess player if you never play and only sit around watching others, and you can't have a successful business if you spend your whole day fiddling with your guitar and reading (im looking at myself). 

There is a simplicity in thinking this way that makes it easy to accomplish goals IF no negative thoughts creep in. I struggle tremendously with this overwhelming fear of failure that halts me in my tracks before I can fail WHICH MAKES ME FAIL. I unfortunately know I am not the only one who self-destructs in order to gain control of their failure (even when they wouldn’t fail).

I try to overcome this and these are a few strategies I use.

• I make a ton of steps to complete what I need to do, with rewards for each of them which reprograms my brain into finding joy during the work rather than just in accomplishing the task at the end.

• I take a 3rd point of view perspective and look at the situation and ask myself if what I am feeling is hurting me or helping me which can bring me out of a mental block. 

• I ask for help. Sometimes just having a friend sit with you at your desk and be productive (on a totally different task) can make you work so much harder because you feel less alone. If they can do it I can do it type shiii

• Completing a different task. Sometimes getting my laundry done can give me the confidence to tackle harder tasks because I remember there are things I can do.

This goes for all sorts of things. If you want to be the best out of your sport PRACTISE, and if you are practicing and not getting better, take a different approach, look at the way you are doing it. Why isn’t it working, do you have weak areas that are limiting your overall performance? 

I felt very trapped within my problems/thinking my dreams were unreachable my whole life because I never took a step outside of them and tried to figure them out. The most important thing I do now is making short term plans and being able to slowly check them off of the list. Baby steps still get you where you need to go.

I am definitely talking to myself because I need it right now but hopefully this helps one of you too ♡

terrible riff i spent like 8 hours working on and still cant do

title speaks for itself, but I will say its much progress from where I was. Also I should use a pick but I kept messing up SO much using it so I will eventually use one, I just cannot rn.

Song by Mehro (im scared bc title of song is a swear word)

I love every song by this artist with my whole heart and saw them in concert last fall and I'm actually just a massive fan

(Work in progress) Indigo Cover

This song is way harder than you think so im struggling but I think it is so pretty. I found it last night and its been ON REPEAT since.

Mean It - Gracie Abrams

Did you catch I didn't post yesterday (oops) Anyways I am starting to play with audio editing so let me know what you think. I did a whole lot to this but I think that I have a ways to go. I also feel like it could be fun to make little music videos

First ever full cover (Medusa - Cameron Whitcomb)

(look at that, day 2 of posting consistently AND trying new things.)

Oct-Dec in NY then saying Goodbye

Okay so idk where we left off. You've missed a lot which is entirely my fault. This is gonna be a barf of where I'm at in life and then tomorrow I'll posting artsy fun stuff. Lets start in October and just roll from there.

October 2024:

Mid 2024 I finished my first official month in NYC and I think I new I loved it by then. I have never stayed in one place long which means I never really connect to a city but somehow I felt it instantly here. I think the perks of being an influencer in the city definitely make it a lot more enjoyable but I also just love a good skyline view walk (as pictured). My friend who also goes by Ari came to visit me for a few days which was cool and I got to take her to get free food and drinks which is my favorite thing in the world. I think October was pretty boring but it was refreshing and productive so no complaints!

November:

We started off strong, I got to go to a crazy hotel which hosted a Halloween party throughout all of it!!! I also met another influencer there who was pretty legit which I thought was cool. THEN... I went to TEXAS for my first ever work trip. If you haven't ever heard of The Lizardman google him now. I went to Texas and interviewed him which was such a cool experience and that will be up soon. Learning how to interview is definitely a process but I think I'll definitely get better with time. I also stayed with a friend of mine that I've known for years but never really known(?) and I enjoyed learning more about them. They also have the cutest dog on the entire planet and I am obsessed with him. He is a behemoth of a corgi. It had to be 50lbs and never stopped moving the entire 2 days I was there. After that trip I got back to NYC and realized I had to come home for a bit. I RAN THE MILK MILE. To those of you who don't know what it is but have a strong stomach, check out my youtube bc its on there. And then I went back to NY. I'd told everyone I was leaving NY forever at that point but I couldn't actually get myself to go so I extended by an extra month. Now here is how I hold up to my name. I snuck into a Spotify event!!! I had an influencer friend send me the details and I showed up and just acted like I was supposed to be there. It ended up being a fantastic event and there were a few free seats so I didn't feel that bad for crashing and nobody ever knew so it was fineeeee. Genuinely met so many cool people there as well despite it being a tech related event too. Last big thing of November, I had T-Shirts made for my parents company and the samples finished. It was unreal watching all the pieces come together and it made me feel like I am doing something right.

December:

November was interesting but December was draw dropping. Chill start, mostly going out with my new temporary roommates who are super cool. The 6th happens which is the 30th anniversary of my parents company and I threw a party where SO MANY people showed up. I was so proud and astonished that it was a successful party!!! After that things get wild. I get a text from someone I had met about 8 months ago and had never really spoken to asking me to dinner. I said yes because it just kind of felt like I should. The date rolls around and I get a text saying "hey sorry my flight got cancelled". I was bummed but I didn't know them so I wasn't crushed that we weren't going. You'd think it would end there. Nope. I get invited to Miami for a week by this person. I think red flags and alarm bells should have gone off in my head but they didn't. Next thing I know I am sitting in a first class seat heading south. Also I had 0 summer clothes with me bc it was freezing in NY which was rough. I arrive and the person introduces me to everyone else on the trip and everyone was my age or younger. I think I played it cool but I was in shock the whole time because we were staying in basically a mansion in Fort Lauderdale, driving Ferraris and McLaren's, eating $3,000 dinners, and partying on a 3 story yacht. ALL THE WHILE I HAD $75 IN MY BANK ACCOUNT. I really just can't believe there are people with that kind of money out there in the world and I have so much respect for the work they've put in to get there. I heard their stories and they all started working so young to get where they are now. What is probably the craziest part about all of this is that the person and I ended up going on this trip as friends. There wasn't really any sort of romantic vibe which is the absolute last thing you'd expect from a trip like this and definitely not what I expected tbh but it ended up so nice. I also became really good friends with the other girls there which is such a huge plus. Anyways I think the whole thing was like a fever dream and I only half believe it happened despite me being the one who went. After that I headed back to NY and packed up my stuff and went to Canada for Christmas. I cant say much about that trip because we all just basically couch potatoed for 2 weeks.

Goodbyes to NY:

Ugh. I just got back a few days ago. I went to NY for the second week of January and had all of the good food and saw all of my friends. I love this place and I say I wont go back until Spring but I don't know if I'll be able to stay away for that long.

Anywaysssss

So much more happened but this was a general summary of the crazy stuff I had to include for now. Stay safe and I will see you guys tomorrow (bc my goal is to post every day even if its just a short little poem for 1 whole month). I am also really excited to start sharing more music. I feel like it will be less scary to start small and then work my confidence up to doing it publicly

- Ari

Living in NYC

Okay, I might like NY so far but here's an honest breakdown of how it has been going.

I got here September 22nd with two 60lb suitcases. I took the bus unreasonably early and got into the subway once I arrived. Unfortunately, most subway stops are NOT accessible and I ended up stranded at a station near my apartment stuck in the station because there were 4 flights or smth of stairs. I was wary of strangers in NY after all the stories I had heard (punching women and throwing them in front of the train) but a young man walked up to me and offered to help me bring the bags up which I had to accept. I ended up Ubering the rest of the way back because the bags were too much. I live in a walkup so it took me about 30 minutes and a lot of sweat but I got them into the apartment. I had never seen it in person and was quite nervous that it would look as good in person. Luckily for me, it did. I took some time and decompressed which was nice. I grabbed a sandwich for dinner and am still upset because it was 50% cilantro (see photo for reference).

The next day I met with someone from Facebook marketplace who had my dream guitar. It is originally 1300 dollars but he sold it to me for 300. It has some damage but nothing crazy. The next day I bought an AMP and started streaming for you guys.

My roommate invited me later that week to go to a rooftop party with some of his friends. It was a really nice invitation, and I went. I had a good time but I got major imposter syndrome because they were a lot older than me and I felt a bit out of place. I think I can easily get along with anyone, but it is weird being the only 21 year old when everyone else is in their late 20s.

My first week in NY was very chill though and I went on a bunch of random Hinge dates because I thought it would be fun (not actually to date) and I had some REALLY WEIRD experiences.

The first date I went on only answered in riddles. Not literal riddles, but was incapable of a straight answer. It was very weird and lasted under an hour. The next one was a super nice guy but weighed at least 100 pounds more than his photo. The next was great and I enjoyed dinner but he started to text me like crazy after. Luckily I am not looking to date in NY and also don't have the time anymore. Basically I just had extra time my first week and was filling time. Definitely fun to see dating is as crazy in NY as they say.

The last 3 weeks have been insanely work-heavy with our launch coming up. Scheduling this kind of stuff and doing research on all of the legal needs of an actual company is so difficult when you have no experience, but everyone has to get it somehow. I think it is better to learn from doing rather than reading from a book so I am glad I am in this situation but it is stressful! What comes with a very controversial company is dealing with a lot of legal complications so we need all of our bases covered. I think it is funny because I am 21 years old but everything that comes out of my mouth when talking about the company to people makes me feel so old and official. I feel like I should be puking in a pub bathroom somewhere rather than writing emails, but I am happy to be doing what I am doing whether or not I feel 'old enough'.

I went to a tattoo convention the past 2 days, I am supposed to be there today as well, but I am sick. The first day was so unbelievably overwhelming. I felt like a minnow in a swarm of sharks. It is valid I was stressed because it was my first convention, but it should have settled once I realized how nice everyone was there. Everyone I talked to was very kind and listened to what I had to say whether or not they knew about my parents' company. I spent the first day going around to each table and getting a sense of who everyone was. The next day I went and did 3 interviews with different people and making solid connections. I don't want to spoil it but I got an amazing opportunity (maybe multiple) from going to this convention so I am very glad I went. Day 2 was almost no stress, and I felt very satisfied with the day. I felt very sick and exhausted when I got home but I crawled in bed and had a relaxing evening.

Today I write proposals and other fun(not fun) emails, and tomorrow my first interview of me for the company!

There are many stressful things I am not mentioning but I am looking forward to the way things are going and I will make it work.

Lets Rewind...

Where have I been all year, what happened, why am I always moving? Life sweeps me in different directions and I have no roots keeping me in one place. When I feel the urge to explore a new city, I can't stop myself from going.

January-July of 2024:

After nearly a year of sulking in America, becoming at peace with leaving Europe, I decided it was finally time to go back and face the world. My friend Mila generously offered to host me in Los Angeles. Initially, it was planned to be long-term, but I was called to the heart of the city. By heart I mean Glendale. I didn't know the geography and with no car, I was stranded. I found out Glendale is basically Ohio to downtown LA and it took hours to get there without a car. But life was calm there, I would go on walks with my dog, cook for viewers on stream, and go out to dinner with my (now ex) boyfriend on weekends. What I couldn't shake was the constant ache for purpose. I felt empty in LA, whether it was the monotony of a boring relationship or the loneliness of few friends I couldn't tell, but I was always yearning for something else.

I think I moved to LA because the trips I had out there were spectacular. Unfortunately, I lost contact with the person I was most excited to see (we just drifted nbd) and I don't think there's a person in the world as exciting to be around so that was a little disappointing but fine. Eventually, I met some really cool people who I loved being around but I decided LA didn't meet my expectations and moved back to the East Coast.

(mini thing I need to mention from mid-February: Another thing I love about LA is the car scene, but being there and spending a considerable amount of time around those people, I began to hate it. When I was with family and respected people in the past I was treated as a human, but when I went alone people wouldn't speak to me and were just extremely disrespectful which was super disappointing.)

July-September of 2024:

I won't soften it, I had probably been quite depressed for the last 6 months or more. I moved to LA with hopes it would fix everything, and when it didn't I lost a lot of hope. I spent my time in DC(home) practically always alone, and then in LA alone except on the weekends, and I completely lost all of my social skills. I realized I wasn't happy in my relationship so I ended that and went to Austria. I was unbelievably excited to see my best friend Ana. I wish there wasn't a but, but there is. I was ecstatic to see Ana, but the way I treated her did not reflect that. Ana is one of the kindest loving and forgiving people I know. I am lucky that she is but it also let me be a bad friend to her. It wasn't just to her, but I spent most of my time with her, so I think she felt the brunt. I was snappy and rude, and I couldn't find the words to ask anyone a single question about themselves. I would feel terrible after every hangout with anyone because I felt like a jerk. It was uncontrollable and I don't know where it came from. Eventually, Ana and I talked about it, and I think bringing it out into the open made me realize I had to try harder. It was a weight off my shoulders in a sense because I was convincing myself there wasn't something wrong, but her noticing made it real and my emotions valid? I had an amazing time being back in Austria as well, and I genuinely love all of my friends there so much. It was sad to go, but despite the social anxiety or whatever that I developed, they mean the world to me.

Now... (October 2024)

I had always told myself, NY LA or not in America, so I figured it was time to give NYC a shot. I did a deep dive through Facebook marketplace and found a DREAM apartment!!! What is funny is I am living with a guy. I had never thought I would, because as a girl I just couldn't ever imagine that, but I am. He is very clean, respectful, and nice. No weird vibes *celebration emoji*! I moved to the city with no plan, and a few thousand in savings to pay my rent. I have had the most INCREDIBLE time here so far (on a budget). I want to let you guys in on a little influencer secret, which I really don't know if it is correct to share but you may as well know: Nearly everything I eat is free. I am a part of OTH which actually does advertise this publicly, but if I post on my story about the food I get, it is compensated. As a very broke 21-year-old in NYC, this is saving my life. I would be living off of bread and butter otherwise. (I do want to say though regardless of any of this I am very grateful for my life and I know it is better circumstances than other people have so please don't take it the wrong way)

But now I have a plan! I inherited my parents' company BME, which is a body modification website. if you have any interest in tattoos, piercings, scarification, etc go check it out! I have a lot of dreams for the company, but the first step is our relaunch!!! Eventually, I imagine interviewing people around the world and sponsoring a lot of educational events about culture and safety in this community. My parents inspired people everywhere and created so much change that they were too humble to even claim as their own. I love New York, but maybe what makes me feel good again is having a purpose. I want to carry on the torch and become a changemaker like my parents were.

Before I go:

That's a not short, but short update on most of what has happened in the past year and where we are headed now. I am really looking forward to life right now and have hobbies friends and a career <3 I thank you guys because I don't know where I would be without the confidence social media gave me. I didn't believe I could walk in a straight line, let alone work full-time as a content creator for 2 years, so truly thank you.

I want to blog on this Patreon about whatever random stuff I feel deserves a paragraph. I also want to give lengthy answers to questions you guys have, whether it be about me or different industries and things happening in the world. I will show you all my music progression, give you early access to whatever YouTube videos I am working on, and who knows what!!! Currently, I have a thing to send out postcards to the $50 tier(which I don't expect anyone to sign up for; it's just an option, lol), but I want to figure out some other perks I can give you guys, so LMK if you have any ideas!

Lovvveee,

Ari (aka Nefarious Larratt)

P.S. Attached are just a ton of different photos from this year that I think are funny or cool! Also maybe it's too cliche to point out but I look really happy in some even while being in a bad mental place so like don't believe what you see on the internet or something??? But I'm doing great rn so don't stress about that detail