The Hive: Part Three (rough draft)

He’s handlers are Thirty-Six and Eighty-One, and both have human bodies, although I have yet to see them. He has told me about them and about the Kennel where he was taken. They were apparently the top breeders for what He calls the Hive, but their main female hasn’t gotten pregnant in years now, so they’re hoping to get another from me and He.

At the Kennel there were more humans like him. Some were nomads like we were, some could speak, and others had been raised alone so they were nonverbal ad being taught. There were who had lived in small colonies, and built lives together before being caught by those belonging to the Hive. Due to the nature of the Hive, once they took over a human body, the body was no longer able to reproduce, hence the need for more. For a while, the Hive just used, never thinking there would be an end to the supply.

The Hive as it was, remained in one central location where He’s kennel had been. Those who did not have a human body used something else like Twenty-Two and Forty do. He told me about this place, a city He said, with buildings as tall as trees, lots of sounds, lots of others around. But it was all the Hive, he and the other humans were kept in the kennel, only taken out for experiments or entertainment.

I feared when my cycle would finish, because that was when Twenty-Two said I would be fertile again to get pregnant. I did not want to be kept this way. He reassured me he would take care of me and stay with me and, together, we could escape. We would try to plan, but sometimes, if the music played, we would get distracted. It’s was frustrating, especially now since He made me aware of the music and the possible influence it held over us. Aside from delivering food to us, we had no contact with those from the hive. They’d left us alone to bond and get used to one another. I wonder if they had any sort of inkling that He and I already knew one another. They had been watching us this entire time I’m certain. If they know, that could be trouble. But once again, the music makes it hard to worry.

“What do they call you here?” He asks.

I barely open my eyes. I have been enjoying listening to the beat of his heart. “Darling. Do they have a name for you?”

“The handlers call me Boots, but in the Kennel, they call me Hemlock.” He rubs his hand up and down my back slowly, comfortingly. “Was there something you were called before all this?”

“My father never gave me a name.” I press my forehead against his chest. “It was never needed when it was just the two of us.”

He kissed the top of my head. “Can I give you a name?”

I sit up to look into his eyes, they’re deep and dark, much like the fertile earth I used to follow. “What would you call me?”

His palm rests on my cheek and strokes down. I lean into that touch, letting him feel as much of me as he wants. “The first time I saw you, you were kneeling in blackberries.”

My father had taught me that if I hide in places with thorns, most of the Others wouldn’t go to look there because of the thornes. I used to get scratched and cut all the time, but I grew used to such places. “I was safe there.”

Sitting up, he places his hand upon my face. His touch is warm and there is a softness to his skin that makes it feel new. “Bramble,” he whispers. “That is what I will call you.”

“Bramble, I say the word romantically.” Aside from Forty calling me Darling I had never had a name before. There had never been a reason for someone to call out to me. There had never been someone to call for me. I stretched out my leg and then pulled myself on top of him. I knew they were watching us, but it didn’t matter to me. Let them, I think. They want for Hemlock and I to be this way, so what is the point in worry? In a way, I want them to see.

“Is everyone like you?” I ask as I run my hands down his body. “At the kennel, do they all want what you have offered?” He has taught me to be careful with my words, in case they are listening. We either speak softly, or change our words.

He shakes his head. “Some are used to this life, they either like it or are too afraid.” His hands go up my hips and to my waist. “Others have just given up.”

Some of my blood is on his thigh, and I am relieved to see it. “Has anyone ever been unhappy at the kennel?” The music begins to play, or perhaps it has been playing all this time and I never noticed it. It is getting harder and harder to recognize that, I fear.

“There have been instances of it.” Hemlock’s hand disappears between us and he places himself inside me. I take him, lowering myself to have all of him. He groans softly, watching me intently with a knit brow. “But the Handlers don’t allow it.”

I lose my breath as Hemlock rolls his hips. I bite down on my lip, squeezing myself tight around him. I can’t explain how satisfying it feels to have him there, to feel this flow of warmth and connection in my body. I had been so lonely without my father, but the need of another person was different from this need of Hemlock’s body. The desire for affection, and the desire to embrace like this are two different things. My body and heart need both, they cry out for Hemlock and his brown eyes.

I wonder if we could find others like us. If once we escaped the Hive and ran away, would we be able to find others? I had been alone all my life, I wanted to be surrounded by people. Even having Forty around me was better than nothing. Despite how I felt trapped, I enjoyed the company Forty gave me.

“You always cry,” Hemlock whispers into my ear. “Does something hurt?”

I shake my head and wipe the tears from my eyes. “I get overwhelmed,” I confess. “Everything comes to me at once, and sometimes I can’t hold them back. Being with you, I don’t want to hold anything back, and when we share each other, I am so happy.”

Hemlock’s smile is soft and sweet. “I was worried, you always seemed at peace afterwards, but the tears-” he sighs as he lays on his stomach. “What do you think about when we are together?”

“Many things.” I stretch my arms above my head and hold the headboard. “I think about life, before and after this moment. I think about the single path ahead of me and how it has split into many.”

“What do you see when you look behind you?”

I close my eyes. “That even though I am afraid with where I am, I don’t want to go back to where I was. I don’t want to be alone ever again.”

Hemlock sits up with a serious expression on his face. He presses his lips to my ear and whispers. “You shouldn’t have said that out loud, Bramble. They can use it now. Remember, you have to be careful! They will use anything to keep you where they want you.”

I look around the room, feeling bewildered. For a moment, I thought we were back in that cave surrounded by blackberries. I thought I had smelled fire and smoke. But I was here in this room. “I forgot where I was. I wasn’t thinking at all. I was…” I swallow back the bile in my throat. “I wasn’t thinking,” I repeat, still confused.

“They’ve been playing the music a lot,” he whispers. “Just come here.” He pulls me to his chest which I rest my head upon. “Just lay here with me. That’s all that matters.”

The music seems so loud now. I close my eyes and try to force it out of my thoughts. I need to keep talking. “What do you think about when we are together?”

Hemlock chuckles. “It’s hard to think about anything else when I hold you. I can’t quite explain it, but as soon as we join together, my mind completely goes blank. Every moment, every breath, everything I am, becomes devoted to you. Until the moment you let me go, I cannot think for myself again.”

I open my eyes and look towards him. “That sounds almost frightening.”

“It can be. I am so used to having to look over my shoulder all the time. To moving and take in my surroundings. It’s strange to have one thing, even nothing, on my mind.” He kisses the top of my head then sighs heavily. “I fear they will bring in others to ensure you become pregnant. I don’t know what I would do if I had to watch you with someone else.”

“Don’t say that,” I whisper.

“I’ll try not to think about it. They chose me for you, so they must have faith I am capable of something,” he laughs. “We just need to be prepared, because it has happened. Multiple mates means a higher chance of pregnancy.”

Forty and Twenty-two had mentioned something similar before. I had tried to push most of what they said aside, but with Hemlock saying it, I paid attention. I picture two Hemlocks holding me and my mind nearly bursts into flames at the thought. I wonder what it would be like to have another?

I wake the following morning, my body feeling strange and my head extremely foggy. I can’t lift my head or arms from the bed because they feel so heavy. I’m not in that little house anymore, but I at least recognize my surroundings. I’m back in my first room, the one Forty and Twenty-Two gave me.

After a while, I’m able to rise and look around. Hemlock is nowhere near me, and I begin to grow afraid. I look towards the glass window, but I can no longer see through it. I begin to shake. I spoke too much yesterday, I shouldn’t have said anything I did to Hemlock. Of course they heard everything we said. Of course it was all too good to be true. I desperately try to get up, but my body is too heavy and won’t allow it. I’m straining so hard to move that I begin to get a headache. I cry out, frustrated and angry, I manage to lift an arm, but nothing else will budge. Forty comes in, carrying a tray like they used to.

“Good morning, Darling. I missed you!” They set down the tray at the table. “It’s been so long. Come give me a hug.”

“Why am I here?” My voice is groggy and slurred.

“Thirty-Six and Eighty-One have some tests they want to run.” Forty comes close and hugs me tight, picking me up and moving me into a sitting position. “Just to make sure that you get pregnant without a hitch.”

“But-” I can barely think right now.

“Don’t worry! We saw how attached you two became. We won’t keep you separated long, Darling. That would be cruel, so don’t fret.” Forty taps the tip of my nose. “Come and eat now, you’ve slept a very long time. I want to hear everything about your time with Boots.”

I look back to the window, wondering if someone is watching us. “I don’t feel so good, Forty. Can I please just lie down again?”

Forty brings the tray over and he mixes up something on the plate. “You need to eat. You’re going to be ovulating soon, and when that happens, you and Boots won’t have much time to think about anything else. Open your mouth and say ‘ah’.” He lifts the spoon towards me.

I shake my head, turning it away from the encroaching spoon. If I eat even one bite I might grow sicker.  “Where is he right now?”

“I told you, they’re performing tests, so Boots is with them. He’s in safe hands I assure you.” Forty’ takes my face in their hand and moves it back. “Come now, Darling. You have to eat something. I promise it will make you feel better.”

I swing my arm and knock the spoon from his hand. “I don’t want to eat anything! Leave me alone!” The music swells in the room and I clap my hands over my ears so I don’t want to listen. I want to be angry! I want to be upset!

Forty goes still and quiet. They move close to me, looking down as I try to keep my hands as tight over my ears as possible. “Did you ever miss me in there?” They sit on the edge of the bed. “I missed you, Darling.” They take hold of my wrists, trying to pry them away.

“Let me go!” I try to wrench away from them, but it makes my hands come lose. “Don’t touch me! Stop it!” The music grows so loud I can now feel it vibrating through the bed and over my skin. The pulse and volume of it rattles my teeth and I can’t avoid it anymore. I cry in frustration, letting Forty pull my hands away.

Forty places their hand upon my face. “Darling,” they say sternly. “Be a good girl for me now. Don’t fight it.”

The music has become quiet and faint in the room again. I start to wonder if it’s even there at all. I can’t remember, I can’t focus on it long enough to be sure. I look into the dent on Forty’s face, wishing there was a way I could see their eyes, their expression. I wanted to know what they were feeling and how they saw me. I wanted to decipher it, but they were blank, they were unknowable.

Forty moves in closer. “Seeing you and Boots together, it made me feel a little strange.” They shake their head. “Each time he held you, each time you reached for him, I found myself wishing it was me.”

I place my hand upon Forty’s face, smoothing my fingers up until I touched the hole near the top. I knew Forty held a fondness for me that Twenty-Two didn’t, but I wonder if it was much different than even that.

“If I had a human body,” Forty breathes. “I would share it with you.”

I swallow back the nervous lump in my throat. “Can Twenty-Two hear us?” I ask.

Forty turns to the window, looking at it for a long time. They say nothing, but that is an answer too. They then turn their head back towards me and their hand grips down upon my shoulder.

I look up at them, wishing again that they had eyes I could see into. Wishing I was looking at Hemlock. “Do they know how you feel?”

“I’m able to keep certain things hidden, even though we are close,” they say quietly. “But Twenty-Two knows everything. They know me most of all” They take hold of my hand again. “Twenty-Two and I are...different,” they say hesitantly.

I cannot say anything else before the doors open and Forty stands to attention. Twenty-Two steps in, followed by the others. Eighty-One and Thirty-Six have human bodies they inhabit, but it is still strange seeing them. As they come close to me, I see both are male, although one is more childlike, while the other is quite large in size and much older than the other. I cannot see them well though as they are standing in the shadow of the door.

Twenty-Two looks directly at Forty and shakes their head. Forty then stands and moves away from me.

The smaller one comes forward, lifting a gloved hand and pointing at me. “She should begin to ovulate in a few days but, to ensure a birth of multiples, we need to administer some insurance. Eighty-One, give her the shot.”

“Yes, Thirty-Six.” The voice of Eighty-One sounds familiar, hauntingly so. As they approach and step into the light, I almost faint and I start to shake again.

“What’s wrong with it?” Eighty-One asks. “It looks sick!”

Forty rushes up to me, but I have become numb to everything around me except for the shock. I know Eighty-One, at least, I knew him before he was Eighty-One. He had once been the only person I knew. I begin to scream cry as Forty’s arms tighten around me.

“What’s wrong with it?” Eighty-One snarls. “Make it sit up so I can give it the shot.”

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Forty pats my cheek. “Speak to me.”

“Father,” I whisper. Looking up at Eighty-One, that was all I saw. This thing was in the body of my father. I thought he had died! That is why I left him. He told me too.

“What did you say?” Eighty-One sneers.

Forty holds me close. Had they not been made of metal, it might have been a comfort then. Instead, their embrace slightly hurt.

“She called you ‘father’,” Thirty-Six laughs.

“He is!” I scream, suddenly wrenching up. “You’re in my father! That’s my father!” I lunge at Eighty-One, but Forty pulls me back.

“Calm down!” Forty puts me in a headlock, but I continue to kick and scream. Music begins to pour into the room again. I hate it! I want my anger! I want my fear!

Eighty-One and Thirty-Six begin to laugh. “This body was found half dead,” Thirty-Six replies. “But we had never assumed it had fathered anyone.”

No wonder my father forced me to leave him where he was. Had I stayed, I would have been taken as well. I probably would already be in that kennel, making babies for the Hive to take over.

“I think it’s best you leave then,” Twenty-Two speaks up. “I’ll administer the insurance to her. Having you here will only stress her out and decrease her chances of pregnancy.”

Eighty-One laughs as he hands over the syringe to Twenty-Two. “Fine then. But don’t forget, once she’s with child, she becomes our property, and you’ll be given your bodies.”

“I know,” Twenty-Two seethes. “Now please go. Can’t you see there’s only so much the music can do?”

“Can’t keep us away from her forever,” Thirty-Six taunts.

Twenty-Two waits until the other two are gone then squeezes out the contents of the syringe onto the floor.

Forty watches them, looking back up once the syringe is empty. “Are you sure this will work?”

“I am only sure that I am going insane.” They then take off their head and reach inside their hollow neck. “Her, give this to her.” Twenty-Two passes off another syringe to Forty.

Forty releases me from the headlock as they hold the needle. They look at me hesitantly. I move away from them, still shaking and trembling. My father was dead, but I saw him moving around me. I clasp my hands around my head, trying to remove that image of him from my mind. It wasn’t him. He died a long time ago. The person who had been here was no person at all. My mind felt ripped apart, and I was just trying to hold it together.

“Look at her. This isn’t how humans are meant to be treated. Kept like this when all her life she was free. It isn’t fair. It isn’t okay. They aren’t meant to be kept like this.” Twenty-Two snarls. “They shoved us all the way out here, knowing we wouldn’t find anyone. Because we dared to say humanity deserved to be saved and not just repopulated. They treated us like raving lunatics, Forty!” Twenty-Two approaches and reaches for Forty. “Now that we have found this miracle, they’re doing everything in their power to make sure we stay with our score of zero. We found Darling, and we are not going to lose her.” It is the first time I have ever heard them, or anyone here, raise their voice. They have always been so cool and even tempered, too happy in a way. They walk around the bed and kneel down before me. Twenty-Two untangles my fingers from my hair and holds them gently. Twenty-Two had never held my hands before.

“I need you to trust me, Darling. Forty and I have nothing but your well being in mind.” They then stand and look down at me. “It will all work out in the end, Darling. You’ll see. Forty and I weren’t lying when we said we wanted the best for you and the rest of humanity.”

I manage to catch a breath. “What are you going to do? What about Hemlock?”

“I can’t explain everything I have planned now, Darling,” Twenty-Two answers. “You’re just going to have to trust our intentions are better than theirs.”

Forty slips their arm around my shoulders. “Hold still, Darling.” They stick the needle into my neck. My body seizes, feeling tight and pulled all at once. I then begin to relax and I let out a long breath. “My father-” I whimper.

“I’m so sorry, Darling,” Twenty-Two whispers. “Just close your eyes for now. Forty and I are going to take care of you.”

I slip away from this world, tumbling and falling through darkness until there is no way I could ever reach light again. Even in sleep I have some awareness, but here I might as well be dead, except I can still hear that music in my head.

I always knew that my father was afraid of the world. He rarely told me about anything beyond us and outside of what we needed. He barely spoke about my mother and other people. He only ever called them ‘the others’. The only thing he said was that I needed to be careful of the others, that I couldn’t tell a good person from a bad person, and it was safer if I stayed alone.

This only enhanced my curiosity about the others around me. The villages we passed through, filled with others hiding themselves. I wanted so badly to be able to meet another person like myself, but I was too terrified at the same time. Even when I met Hemlock, I, at first, was too afraid to do anything.

I don’t know if my father knew about the hive, or just knew there was a threat to us out there, but he never talked about them either. He only said that if we were still, they would find us. I wonder now if he had any idea, or if he was being vague as a way to protect me. Maybe he knew I was a rarity, and exactly what the hive were looking for.

I tried to keep the lessons my father taught me close to my heart. The books he gave me stayed with me until I had to leave them behind. When it came down to survival, the books and their pages didn’t offer me anything, aside from an escape from the world I lived in. But I had memorized many passages and stories from inside them, and on nights when the moons were passing, I would recite them to myself. But even after time passed, the memory of those passages began to fade. I kept them with me, but sometimes the words changed, or I confused them with others. I suppose they are now my own words more than what they were before. Even with memory, is there anything remaining from the past?

Twenty-Two asked me to trust them, but after everything that has gone on, I am not sure what to believe. I trust Hemlock and his vows because he’s the only one who understands. Forty and Twenty-Two are part of the hive, how can they hide from them? Then, there is Thirty-Six, and Eighty-One who has the body of my father as his own. After seeing that, I do not think I can trust Twenty-Two or Forty at all.

They say they have a plan for me, that they want to save humanity. I feel as though I don’t know anything. Before, I had been so certain about my journey and my place in this world, I knew to keep moving forward, to protect myself. I never had to rely on anyone else. Now, I didn’t have any of that, and now there’s music.