Undead Boyfriend: Nemo (complete)

There is a strange hospital on a craggy cliff near where you stay. You have seen people come in and out of it - often they look horribly injured or sick when they go in, only to come out looking happy and normal. You’ve also seen some of the curious staff who come in and out of the place, strange apparitions that come to the doors to take the ambulances in, as well as a bevy of others.

You’ve been living in an abandoned apartment building across the river from the hospital. The place is condemned and is constantly being evacuated by the police, but you make it your home, sneaking back in after the dust has settled from the last eviction. The few possessions you have are mainly books, especially ones that are precious to you. You’ve always loved learning, and any book you find you pore through as heavily as you can. You’ve learned to store your books in a part of the building where the cops can’t get to them. It’s become a sort of library for those who use the place, although you keep the most important books with you.

After one of the evictions, you’re left wandering around until you can return. It’ll probably be night before you can go back, maybe even later. You cobble together what change you have and get yourself something hot to drink. Hopefully it can tide you over. 

You’re standing on the bridge between the building and the strange hospital. As you look up at it, you see something odd - near the back of the hospital, just up the cliff, there is some sort of flickering green light. 

For a moment, you’re hypnotized by the sight as you try to figure out what it is. Then, as you start to look away, you see a young man riding up on his bike. You move to allow him room, but he yells and swerves, not only hitting you, but pushing you so you’re smashed against the railing.

You try to push yourself back up, but the railing snaps and you hang over the edge of the bridge, looking over the river as you try to regain your balance. Then you fall, watching as the ice-cold waters of winter come ever closer. You hit the surface and your body sinks. A deep, all-encompassing pain radiates from your left leg as you go deeper under. The fading daylight grows darker, shrinking to a pinpoint. 

Then you see something from above - a shadow that dances before your vision - before warm arms wrap you up tight. It’s okay to die this way, you think. It’s better than nothing at all. Your vision fades, and all you feel is the last, loving embrace you’ll ever have.

Waking up is a surprise, especially in the glow of a dim light. You blink a few times, breathing in the scent of antiseptic and harsh detergent. Distant noises fade in and out - soft voices, rhythmic beeps - and they blend together to make a sort of hum in your ears. There is something warm in your palm, and as you look down, you see it’s a hand. The hand belongs to a beautiful woman sleeping beside you, her head resting on the blanket of the bed you’re lying in.

Looking around, you realize you’re in a hospital room, with a curtain around your bed and the strange woman resting in a chair beside you. You look back at her. Her waist-length hair is rosy pink, and her limbs are long and roped with muscle. Rising from her scalp are a pair of long, rabbit-like ears - she looks very much like the tribe of rabbit women who live in the woods.

Her long lashes flutter, and she starts to stir. Lifting her head, she tightens her hand around your fingers. She looks up at you with warm, pink eyes and her full lips part.

“Oh good, you’re awake!” She leans in close. “You gave me such a fright. I was worried I had lost you.” She smiles so affectionately at you. Her hand brushes against your forehead, smoothing away your hair. “I’m glad you got some rest.”

You avert your eyes. She’s so lovely that it doesn’t feel right for you to stare at her.

“Are you alright?” Her voice is quiet and gentle. “My name is Asha. I saw what happened to you.” She sits back upright, but keeps hold of your hand. “I brought you here, too. Your leg and ribs are shattered, and Dr. Nemo said he is going to have to operate.”

You tear your hand away quickly. When you try to move, your body feels like it has been jammed full of nails and glass. You cry out in pain and lean over to clutch your leg.

“Don’t move!” Asha gasps as she jumps to her feet. “You need to stay still, relax.” She tries to soothe you with a soft voice and steady hands, and moves the blanket over your leg again so you can’t see it. “The doctor is coming right back. He’s going to explain everything to you.”

You stare at her, wide-eyed and confused. You thought you were dead. Maybe you are, and this Asha is a glorious pink angel. You sit back, placing your arm across your body. Under your hospital gown you can see the bruises climbing up your side, like leaves on a vine.

“You fell quite a long way.” Asha sits back down beside you. “It could have been much worse, but I think you’re very strong.”

You look at her in disbelief. You? Strong? You’d never thought of yourself as anything more than ‘existing’. 

“Cat got your tongue?” Asha giggles. “That’s all right. Nemo says I have enough to say for the rest of the world.” She smiles at you again, her long ears flexing so the tips stand straight up. “I’ll keep you company until Dr. Nemo comes back. He had to get a few things ready for you.”

You glance cautiously at her from the corner of your eye. “Get what ready?”

Her smile grows as you speak, and she leans in closer to you. “What a pretty voice.” There isn’t a hint of mockery in her tone, but you still have a hard time believing her. “It’s better if he explains - being the doctor and all - but he’s going to take care of you.”

You furrow your brow at her. “OK, sure,” you mumble. 

“You’ll be right as rain in no time, you’ll see.” Asha’s ears flick sideways, and she turns her head as the curtain opens.

You feel cold in an instant, as if an icy hand has wrapped around your throat. You keep your eyes down, breathing shallowly as your heartbeat accelerates, and grip the sheet as footsteps approach the side of the bed.

“Oh, good.” Gravel falls from the visitor’s mouth rather than a voice. “You’re awake.”

“It’s not been that long, but she’s very alert,” Asha says brightly.

You wonder how someone like Asha could speak so happily to someone like the man standing on the other side of the bed. You can’t bear to look at him. His presence wraps a horrible fear around you. Something isn’t right.

From the corner of your eye you see a flicker - something dancing along the curtain. The way the light hits it, you know it can’t be a shadow, and yet that’s all it can be. You catch the hint of a green glow within it, and hurriedly look down at your own hands gripping the blanket.

“Everything is going to be alright,” Asha says softly. “Dr. Nemo is going to get you all fixed up.” As she reaches out to touch you, you whip your hand out to grab hers. You don’t want to be left alone with this man.

“There’s nothing to worry about.” His deep, rasping voice barely seems human. “You only need a simple operation to reset the bones. Any doctor worth their salt could do it in their sleep.”

You risk a sideways look at him. He’s tall, standing over you like a shadow, like a curse. His white coat is so crisp and clean it makes his light brown skin look faded and grey. He has no eyebrows to speak of. His white, chin-length hair is mostly combed back, except for one long segment that falls down the side of his face. The lower part of that face is covered by a black medical mask - nothing strange there - but his eyes make cold sweat prickle along your skin. They are an unearthly green, sclerae and all, and they suck you in like whirlpools, swirling deeper and deeper into an endless void of nonexistence. The hair at the nape of your neck stands on end, and you cling closer to Asha.

“It will be fine.” Asha tries her hardest to comfort you. She strokes her hand down your back and through your hair. “If anything bad happens to you, I’ll pummel him into the earth. How does that sound?”

You know she’s trying to make you laugh, but you can’t help but wish she would do that right now. 

Asha’s radiant smile warms you. “I promise. Can you trust him, for me?”

You don’t even know Asha, but you never want her smile to go away. “Will you stay with me?”

“For as long as possible.” Asha looks over to Dr. Nemo. “You be gentle with her, got it? Your bedside manner is terrible.”

“Keep your peace, Asha. It’s obvious she’s already attached to you.” Each word he speaks echoes with the scrape and grind of rock and soil.

Together with Asha, Dr. Nemo moves you onto a gurney to transport you to the operating room. Asha walks beside you until you come to the double doors of the surgical theater. She halts, and you reach for her, but the gurney keeps moving.

Asha waves to you. “Everything is going to be alright. I promise.”

You would leap up and run to her, but the searing pain in your side and your leg knocks the breath from your lungs. Tears sting the corners of your eyes as you lie stiffly on the stretcher.

“I would recommend staying as still as possible.” Dr. Nemo’s voice cuts through your thoughts like a winter chill. “I don’t think you realize the extent of your injuries.”

Your breath shudders, fluttering in your aching chest as more tears gush out of your eyes. You turn your head to avoid catching a glimpse of him, and once again the shadows move. They seem to hover just above the surface of the walls, walking alongside you as Dr. Nemo pushes the gurney. You note that Dr. Nemo is closer to the foot than the head. Like Godfather Death. You gasp, then quickly bite down on your cheek to silence yourself.

You come into the operating room, and all around you there are whispers. You can’t make out what they are saying, but they sound both close to you and far away. Dr. Nemo comes up beside you, still with his face covered. His green eyes gaze down at you as he moves the blanket away from your leg. 

His hand sweeps up, and he presses his palm against your forehead. “Go to sleep,” he whispers in his strange voice. “There, you will be safe.”

You try to raise your hand to swat him away, but your arm feels so heavy. “I don’t want-” Your words slur, and your eyelids droop. With a final breath, you fade into a deep, deep sleep. Your body sinks, you drift away, and you fall down... down... down.

You wake with a start, breath rushing through you, but something doesn’t feel right. You look around and see you’re still in the operating room, facing the door. You turn. Behind you is the gurney you came in on, with you stretched out on it.

You approach, not in fear, but in curiosity. You’re still breathing, so you’re not dead. Looking down at yourself feels like staring into a strange mirror. Then you become aware of another occupant in the room - a grotesque shadow standing at the foot of the gurney. Your jaw drops open as it moves closer, towering over your body on the table.

The shadow’s long hands move down the center of your chest, slicing open the flesh on the left side of your rib cage. The slow, even pulsing of the shadow hums through the room as it reaches inside you. You lean forward, watching as your broken ribs are moved back into place. The shadow plucks out fragments of debris that look like shattered glass, placing them on a tray.

The beating of your heart is soft and peaceful as the shadow continues to work, feeling around your ribs, checking for organ damage. You look up at the shadow, and its towering form suddenly shifts like static on a TV. It wavers, then splits, and a second shadow moves away from the first, leaving the operating room through the wall.

You stare after it before returning your attention to the surgery, watching as the first shadow stitches your chest back together. The parted skin slowly closes again as glowing green thread moves in and out, in and out, until the incision is sealed completely. 

The shadow then moves down to your leg, gently manipulating the broken and bruised limb until it sits straight on the table. Once again, the flesh is opened up, the muscle peeled away, and the broken fragments of your leg are revealed.

Watching as the shadow operates, you feel more curious than afraid. For some reason, seeing yourself this way, methodically operated upon so that your body heals properly, you feel a deep sense of calm. 

The shadow moves slowly, taking its time to care for the bones. Where the bone is broken, the sharp uneven edges have a green glow to them. As they are mended, the glow sizzles and fades away, leaving a soft hue behind. Once the bone is in one piece, the muscle is replaced around the bone, slipping along it and weaving together. Then the flesh is stitched by the green thread, slowly closing back together.

You look back up to the shadow’s face, and notice it is looking back at you.

“I thought I told you to sleep.”

With a gasp you wake, gazing up at the ceiling and the faint golden glow of the lights. It was a dream. Wasn’t it? You can’t be sure. You take a few breaths, and the deeper you breathe the more your chest aches. You sit up, but your entire chest is on fire. Looking down the neck of your hospital gown, you see the same stitches from your dream.

You settle back into the bed, but you feel cold, and it’s uncomfortable being in your skin. All you want is a bath, even just a wet wipe for your armpits, but you can hear the breathing and soft snores of sleeping patients around you. As much as you want to call out, to have someone come to your bedside and help you, you can’t move. Your leg and chest hurt far too much to allow you to move on your own.

Suddenly, your bed jerks as the backrest is tilted up. The shadow from your dream is standing over you, with a faint green haze where its eyes should be. You’re no longer curious to see it - you’re terrified again.

The shadow pushes your bed into the corridor, which is lit almost as dimly as the room. It’s silent there, and you can hear yourself breathing. Behind you, the shadow is humming. The tune is faint, melodious and strangely familiar. As you are moved down the hall, you see more shadows flicker in and out of view. Some leave rooms or walk into them; others are tending to patients. If the patients look scared, it isn’t for long. Their faces quickly take on a look of peace, of ease in the presence of the shadows.

The shadow takes you into a room where there are shower stalls and deep bathtubs. It picks you up from the bed and carries you to one of the tubs, setting you down on the padded ledge inside it. The shadow helps you remove the hospital gown, slowly moving it away from your body so it doesn’t come in contact with the sutures. You cross your arms against your chest as water sputters from the spout and begins to fill the tub.

The shadow leaves, and you are alone. You let out a soft breath of relief and stretch out your good leg so your foot is under the rushing water. The warmth feels good, and you grow excited to wash the tacky sensation from your skin. You find a sponge on the edge of the tub and start rubbing it over your skin.

The shadow returns soon to help you dry off, ease back into your bed and return to the hospital room. You manage to sleep after that, feeling as though you can finally relax. When you wake again, you find not a shadow, but Nemo standing by your bed. 

“Welcome back.” He slips the chart under his arm. “How are we feeling?”

You blink a few times as you look up at him. “Good,” you murmur. “I guess.”

“The pain medication seems to be working, then. But don’t be surprised if you feel discomfort later.” He carefully lays the blanket back over your leg. “Just rest for now. Asha will be by later to see you.”

You look him over, and see a shadow moving behind him. You blink through the haze of the lights. “Was I dreaming?” Your voice cracks from sleep. “The shadows… Am I seeing things?”

“I was surprised when you were able to wake in your dream. Not many people can do that, and even fewer tend to watch like you did.” He turns, glancing to the side as another shadow wheels a bed from the room. When he glances back down at you, his vivid green eyes have a glow in them. “But they are no vision - merely an ability I possess. I believe that if I have it, I should use it for the good of the people here. I can’t be in all places at all times to help my patients, but they can.” He places his hand on your forehead, moving your hair away like Asha did. His skin has a strange texture to it - soft, cold and smooth.

“How long will I be here?” Your voice comes out weak and breathy. 

“For as long as needed,” he replies curtly. “I want to make sure this,” he points to your chest, “heals properly. Your leg, I believe, is in excellent shape. It just needs time for the ceramics to integrate with the bone.”

You lay your palm over your chest, glancing down to see the top of the sutures peeking from your hospital gown. You still feel uneasy around Nemo - he’s strange and different, but you suppose it’s human nature to be afraid of those things.

The curtain opens, and you see a flash of pink. Asha waltzes in, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and instantly it is like a summer breeze has washed over you.

“Look at this, now! Someone seems much better than I last saw them.” She comes to your bedside and clutches your hand in both of hers. “Didn’t I tell you? I promised, right?”

You feel shy and unsure all over again. How does such a radiant beam of light exist in such a place? “You did,” you answer bashfully.

“Dr. Nemo is wonderful, isn’t he?” She pets your hair and tucks a loose lock behind your ear. Then she smiles up at Nemo, and you see a change come into her eyes. As she looks at him, and he at her, there is a softness to the air, a lightness to the room.

Nemo glances shyly aside. “I just did my job, Asha. I took care of my patient, and I will continue to do that as long as she needs me.”

“I know. That’s what makes it wonderful.” Asha sits down beside your bed, still holding your hand. 

You think it’s strange, sitting there and having people around you. This warmth you feel, this strange feeling of comfort - you worry it will be fleeting. But the warmth from Asha’s hand feels more permanent than that, and you cannot explain why. Nothing has been this grounding for you before. You squeeze Asha’s hand, hoping to keep it close for as long as possible, even with your uncertainty.

Of course, recovery takes time. Staying at the hospital isn’t horrible, but sometimes cabin fever sets in. You feel cooped up and more than a little restless, but you can’t exactly move around on your own.

You’re extremely grateful for Asha and her visits, her smile and warmth. Usually, she takes you wherever you want to go in a wheelchair. There’s a lush communal garden that you enjoy, planted in the courtyard at the center of the hospital grounds. There’s also a common room in the tower at one corner of the building, with high windows that have long benches with cushions under them. The long-term patients can borrow books and use the computers here, or just lounge somewhere that feels homey.

One day as you sit together, you notice Asha studying the pages of a cookbook, her ears flicking up and down as she does. “What kind of foods do you like?” she suddenly asks.

You look up from your own book and think carefully. “I’m not too sure.”

Asha’s eyes turn to you with a concerned gleam in them. “Nemo said he’s worried you’re not eating enough. I was just wondering if the hospital food wasn’t to your taste.”

You look back down. “It’s not that, exactly. The food here is fine.” You rub the page between your index finger and thumb, slightly embarrassed by the attention she gives you. You’re not used to someone caring so deeply for your well-being. Living alone for so long, and homeless at that, you’ve gotten used to getting by on barely anything.

“What if I made soup?” Asha asks. “Once you get a little bit better and Nemo says it's OK, I’ll cook something nice for you.”

Your heart patters with a sudden lightness, almost flipping in your chest. You keep your head down. “Thank you, but you really don’t have to do that.”

“I’d like to. There’s a difference, you know. I like to cook, and I don’t get to do it as much as I want.” Asha lifts her eyes and closes the cookbook. “Good afternoon, doctor.”

You flinch, feeling a chill down the back of your neck, and glance up as Nemo comes to stand behind you.

“I was wondering where she went.” Nemo’s hand rests at the back of your wheelchair. “I was going to do a quick exam, and I find my patient is missing.”

“I stole her,” Asha jabs playfully. “She needs to move around a bit.”

“I agree,” Nemo replies. “Which is why I was going to give her the exam. If things are healing well, I was going to suggest she start physical therapy, perhaps try walking a bit.”

Asha’s smile brightens. “That’s such good news to hear.”

“Are you sure?” you ask timidly. “It seems so soon.”

Nemo nods. “You’re healing well, but there are some other things I am concerned about. I want to keep you for observation still, but I think it’s time you start progressing.”

Asha leans forward a bit. “Tell me, Nemo, when would she be able to leave the hospital, even just for a visit?”

Nemo has a flash of confused silence. His eyes widen ever so slightly, and his body goes tense. In the next second he sighs. “What is it you want with her?”

“I want to make her dinner, and I thought it would be a good chance for you to come by as well.” Asha is putting on the charm, and you wonder if it’s really just for Nemo.

“It may be a while,” Nemo grumbles. He seems uncomfortable, almost flinching as Asha looks at him. “It all depends on her, though. I will keep you updated on her progress.”

“Strange answer,” Asha titters. “I figured you’d be excited for her to have a wonderful, home-cooked meal. I know how much you like that as well.”

Nemo clears his throat and anxiously shifts in the direction of the door. “You don’t need to worry about me, Asha.”

A soft pout appears on Asha’s face as she watches Nemo. “You say that all the time. It gets boring.”

“Yes, well.” He steps back. “I have to return to work. Let me know when you bring her back.”

Asha’s brow knits as he walks away. “Is something wrong?” you ask her.

Asha sighs. “No. Not exactly.” She cups her cheeks in her hands and leans forward on the table, then smiles at you. “But that’s all good news, right? If things go well you’ll be able to walk around on your own in no time.”

You return her smile, albeit a bit more shyly. “It’ll be nice. Then I won’t have to bother you with taking me places.”

A scowl crosses Asha’s face. “You think this bothers me?” She lifts her head up. “I do this because I like you, not because I feel some obligation. I’m excited for you to get better, and to be able to share more things with you.”

You could almost cry. You don’t deserve this, least of all from someone like Asha. You nod your head, wanting to end the conversation then and there. You really aren’t used to this, and you aren’t sure how to get over the unfamiliarity.

After that, Nemo gives his approval to start physical therapy. It’s hard work, but each day you walk along the exercise bars, you get a little more confident on your feet. You use a crutch at first, but very soon you’re able to walk around on your own.

You start helping with other patients, spending time with the ones who are stuck in bed, or simply talking to the ones who need company or support. It helps you to keep your mind off things. You also notice that Nemo seems pleased. The medical mask still hides his lower face, but there is a lift to his eyes when he sees you moving about the hospital.

One afternoon a young boy is brought into the hospital by his teenage sister. He looks weak and pale and is complaining of pains in his abdomen. He’s rushed off, and his sister is left sobbing in the lobby.

“Dr. Nemo is a good doctor,” you assure her. “He’ll find out what’s wrong.” You sit down beside her, handing her a box of tissues.

“We can’t afford this. We’d been putting it off so long, I’m worried he’ll-” She blubbers into the tissue.

You think for a moment and shake your head. “I don’t think that actually matters here.” You’ve never really been sure about payment. It was never brought up to you, and you didn’t ask, despite your worries.

The sister hiccups and shivers. “He got so weak I couldn’t stand it.”

“It’s OK.” You put your arm around her. “You did the right thing bringing him here. Now we’ll do everything we can to keep him safe.” You sit with her until evening, when Dr. Nemo comes to take her to her brother.

A few hours later, you round a corner and find Nemo standing there. He looks towards you and approaches, takes your hand without a word, and starts checking your arm. Then he cups his hand over your forehead. “How have you been feeling today?” he asks brusquely. “Any discomfort? Fever?” 

“No,” you murmur. “I’ve been fine. Is something wrong?”

“The siblings that came in today - the boy had a parasitic illness, and his sister did too. I treated them both, but she could have been contagious.” His eyes narrow at you. “You’re telling me the truth, right?”

You nod, wondering why he seems so intent about it. “If I feel any different, I’ll let you know.”

He nods in return. “Good.” He slowly turns, as if reluctant to leave you. “You should be in bed now. It’s getting late. I know you’re tired.” As he walks away, you see some of his shadows slip towards him, moving back into place to merge with him.

It seems strange to you that no matter what is happening there, no matter what patient he sees, he still worries over you. You think that surely there are others who need his attention more than you, people who are worse off. Yet he’s always there, always beside you when you’re too afraid to ask for help.

One day Asha strolls in, carrying a bag full of beautiful vegetables. She takes you towards the back of the clinic, where you find Nemo in a small living space with a kitchen. You hadn’t realized it was there, but you suppose it makes sense that Nemo would live close by.

Asha pulls her hair up into a ponytail and sets the vegetables in the sink. “You can wash, I’ll peel, and Nemo here can start chopping.”

“There’s so much,” you marvel. You carefully start taking things from the bag, scrubbing them clean before passing them to Asha. She peels carrots and potatoes, and breaks cruciferous stalks before handing them to Nemo.

“I figured we would share what we don’t need. There must be others here who need a hearty, healthy meal.” She looks up to Nemo with a smile. “It will be a treat for everybody. Right?”

“Right,” he grumbles under his breath.

You look up from the sink and note how close Asha and Nemo are standing to one another. When she passes something to him, their hands linger and her eyes light up. There’s also the way that Nemo looks at her - soft, sweet. You like that expression on him.

Asha comes up next to you. Her warmth feels nice, and when she touches you your heart leaps. She plays with your hair, and wipes a speck of something from your cheek. You realize that this is the most peaceful you’ve felt in so long. You can’t even remember a time you felt this way. You start to smile - really smile - and your warmth is reflected in Asha’s face, her posture.

Asha has you saute and puree the squash and the potatoes, and then she fills a massive pot with bone broth before adding some aromatic herbs. She lets this come to boil, and you dump the pureed and chopped vegetables into the pot.

“And now, we wait.” Asha wipes her hands on her apron, then places her hand on your back.  “If you want to rest, I can keep an eye on things.”

“I might sit down for a moment.” You really don’t want to leave the room. You want to stay with them, but your leg is hurting a bit. You sit down at the kitchen table, so you can give your leg a rest while staying close to Asha and Nemo. As the soup simmers, it fills the kitchen with its heavenly aroma. You’ve never been so excited for something in your whole life. 

At last, Asha scoops you a bowlful and lays it on the table in front of you. 

“Eat slowly,” Nemo suddenly warns. 

You look at him in alarm, but nod gamely. You take your first taste of the soup, letting the savory broth linger on your tongue. You bite into a mushroom, and it bursts with the flavor it absorbed in the pot. You almost feel like crying again. It’s like eating Asha’s affection with a spoon.

“Is it good?” Asha asks hopefully.

You nod emphatically. “Yes. Thank you.”

Nemo steps towards the door. “Take your time eating, and don’t overeat.” Then he turns to Asha. “I’ll be right back.”

He leaves as Asha joins you at the table. “I’m so happy you enjoy it!” She blows on her own spoon to cool it before taking a sip. “I’ll leave some extra in the fridge just for you.”

The idea of having your own portion, when she could give it to anybody, causes your heart to leap again. You smile brightly at her. “Thank you, I’d like that.”

You have a hard time eating large amounts. Being malnourished, it could take you time to be able to digest properly. But as you try to sleep that evening, you keep remembering Asha’s soup. That first taste of it, even just the memory, makes you feel warm and comforted all over. She left you some in Nemo’s fridge, just for you whenever you want it. What could it hurt?

You sneak out of your room head back towards the kitchen and open the fridge, finding the container with your name taped to the lid. You pour some into a mug and heat it in the microwave. You feel a bit greedy, but your excitement drowns out the guilt. 

You sit down to enjoy your midnight treat, but as soon as you finish it, you feel sick. You realize you’ve made a mistake, and eaten too much today. The nausea sweeps over you, and you hurry to the sink. When you retch, it makes your chest burn. You press your palm to the place the sutures had been, fearing something will tear. You cough a few times, spitting into the sink. You turn on the faucet to wash away the vomit. With tears in your eyes, you sink to the floor and sob into your knees.

From the corner of your eye, you see a shadow in the doorway. It ripples in the air as it approaches, and when it reaches you it stoops and places a hand on your head. Usually, the shadows have a way of making you feel better, but now you can’t help but feel overwhelmingly terrible. Nemo saw what happened. He knows. 

The next day, you try to stay busy to keep your mind off your misbehavior. You spend some time with the young boy and his teenage sister, and they both eat bowls of Asha’s soup with gusto. It makes you glad that someone else can enjoy it, but the guilt creeps back over you.

As you leave their room to let them rest, you come across Nemo in the hallway. He glances towards you, then quickly looks back down at the folder in his hands. You start to walk past him, not wanting to make any mention of last night.

“How are you doing?” he asks briskly. He lowers the folder and his eyes focus on you. “How do you feel after physical therapy today?”

You nod, remembering the taste of bile on the back of your tongue. “I’m fine. Everything is going well. You know that.”

He sniffs and nods his head. “I like to hear it from you, not just charts.”

You glance back towards the siblings’ room. “There must be other people to worry about,” you insist. “People who are worse off than me, people who need you more. I’m recovering fine. You know that.”

Nemo sighs heavily. “It isn’t about who is worse or who is better,” he says sternly. “It is a fact that everyone here is suffering.”

You lift your eyes only slightly, then glance back down.

“It doesn’t matter to me if someone has a mild infection or a cancerous tumor. What matters is that my patients suffer.” He shakes his head. “I hear them cry out, even when they’re silent. I hear you, too.”

You look up at him, and you swear you see the same softness in his eyes that he gives to Asha. “I’m sorry,” you murmur. “I don’t want you to worry about me.”

He bows his head slightly. “It’s my job as a doctor to take care of you, to lift that suffering no matter its weight. So you don’t need to worry about that. I’ll worry about it.” His voice is firm, but his eyes still seem sad. “Until the day your suffering is over, I will worry.”

You are graced with a bright and sunny afternoon. Asha invites you out with her, offering the prospect of shopping for new clothes. It seems like a good respite from being cooped up in the clinic, just for a little while. As she leads you outside she takes your arm, clasping it tightly in both of hers. 

“What are you doing?” you gasp.

Asha glances at you in surprise. “Oh, I’m sorry! Am I making you uncomfortable?”

You shake your head. “No, I-” You touch her bicep with your free hand, fearing she’ll pull away. “I’m just confused about why you’re doing it.”

Asha’s smile is soft but beautiful. “Because I want to be close to you.” She continues walking. “I rarely get company out anymore, and Nemo doesn’t do too well in sunlight. So I figured I would snuggle up to you today.”

You don’t want to push your luck, but as you walk you squeeze in closer to Asha. Her hair brushes against your cheek, and you can smell the forest on her - the cool scent of earth and trees, mixed with summer rain. 

“I’m glad you’re there, at the clinic. I feel like you keep Nemo company when I can’t come by.” Asha’s tone is thoughtful.

“Me?” You almost laugh. “I’m just a patient there.”

“Hmm,” Asha hums as she stops before a shop window. “I think you’re more than that, really. Nemo expresses himself more subtly - kind of like you.” She looks from the window and back into your eyes. “I think when you’re there, he feels better. Less lonely.”

She tugs you into the shop, where she starts enthusing over the fashions. You don’t say much - you’re just happy to have clothes on your back - but you enjoy picking out certain outfits and modeling them for her. Asha eventually buys quite a haul, then hands you one of the bags.

“Do you want me to carry more?” you ask.

“No, silly, it’s a gift.” Asha clutches your hand again. “I thought these would look really cute on you. You have a new pair of shoes as well, and-” She stops and her smile fades. Then she cups her hand around your cheek and wipes away the tears spilling down your face. “Oh, please, don’t cry.”

“I’m not! It’s just...” You lean into her palm, happy for the warm touch. “I’m happy. Just give me a moment.”

Asha wraps her arms around you, giving you a warm and sorely-needed embrace. “One day, when you’re back to full health, I’ll take you home with me. I’ll show you my home and all my people. I’ll take you riding into the woods with me, and we’ll have so much fun there.” She pulls back and cups your face again. “I promise you’ll never want to leave once I show you my world.”

You nod gratefully, taking her arm again as you walk. You don’t let go of her again until you walk through the doors of the clinic. Nemo is at the entrance, but when he sees the two of you together he bows his head and excuses himself quickly.

“I think he was worried,” Asha giggles. She hands you your bags, then gives your hand a final squeeze. “I hope you’re not too tired. If you liked today, I can make plans to take you out again.”

You smile shyly, not wanting to leave her side for a moment. “Next time, do you mind if we visit a bookstore?”

Asha appears as excited as you want to feel. “Not at all! Is there something in particular you want?”

You feel silly, but if there is anyone you believe won’t laugh at you, it’s Asha. “Biology,” you quip nervously. “And, um… maybe something about nursing.”

Asha comes close, laying a soft kiss on your cheek. “I’ll start planning. You should get some rest. Oh - if any of the clothes don’t fit, we’ll go back and find something else. OK?”

You hug the bag to your chest. “Yes! Thank you again.” As she turns to leave, a jolt of regret goes down your spine. You don’t want her to go. You want to be with her. You want her to touch you. Slightly ashamed of these selfish longings, you turn to see Nemo in the hallway. You remember Asha’s words, and you wonder if he was missing you today.

“Go get some rest,” he repeats. “No shame in needing it.”

You wonder if he means more than a nap. You gather your courage. “What about you?” 

Nemo chuckles. “What about me?” He breezily walks away, still chuckling, and leaves you in shock. It’s the first time you’ve ever heard him laugh.

“Oh, wow,” you whisper to yourself. You go back to your room, lay out the beautiful clothes that Asha bought for you, and you let a genuine smile spread on your face. Your cup your hands around your cheeks, remembering how softly and lovingly Asha touched you. You think about Nemo’s laugh. In that instant, you realize you’re happy.