Linnaeus the Living Statue Part Two (special preview)

As I leave the kitchen to go to the bathroom, I pass by the studio. Inside, I have my paintings lining the walls. One remains unfinished on the easel and there are a few canvases that I have sketched out. I’ve always enjoyed painting figures, especially in the fashion of Reubens where they were fuller. When I was younger, I had been told by an acquaintance of my father that I would fare better if I studied ‘beautiful’ women rather than that. It made me so angry that it was because of him that became my primary focus. Who was he to say these women weren’t beautiful?

I sigh heavily, wishing someone loved my artwork as much as me. More and more, though, I have been wondering if I am painting pictures for another time. Perhaps I am too late to have my works seen and adored. 

“There you are,” Linnaeus whispers gently. He kneels down and puts his arm around me. “If you don’t hurry, Kasper will steal your bath.”

I look up at my paintings and sigh. “My dad was selling out galleries when he was my age,” I lament. “I can’t even sell a single print.”

“Hey,” Linnaeus shakes me. “Stop comparing yourself to your father, it will do you no good!” He lifts me up and claps his hands on my shoulders. “Annemieke, talent is not measured by how many things you sell. It can’t even be measured. It’s abstract. It’s dull to proclaim who is talented and who isn’t.” He cups my cheek. “What matters most in creating art is that it makes you happy.”

I close my eyes and let out a half sob. “I know. I know, but it’s just-”

“Just nothing.” Linnaeus scowls. “This weather really does get you down. Well, no matter, I will pick you up again and again, as many times as it takes.”

I nod and he wipes away the few tears that slip. “I know.”

Linnaeus takes me to the bath where I sink into the hot water and try to let all those stresses melt away to be sucked down the drain. Lounging, Kasper hops up onto the edge and sits there, looking down into the water and swatting at offending bubbles.

Being down on my art isn’t the only thing getting to me lately. Having to work so much and not getting to spend a lot of time at home has taken its toll. I’m run ragged and it causes me to doubt a lot about myself. I worry that I am not good enough for Linnaeus and I sometimes fear I don’t make him as happy as he should be. He seems to try so hard for me, but am I trying hard enough for him?

When I get out of the bath, Linnaeus is waiting in bed for me. He’s watching a video but he instantly closes his laptop as I come into the room. 

“Feel better?” He pulls back the covers for me. 

I crawl into bed and flop down. “A little bit.”

“Oh, nothing much.” He strokes my hair from my face as I nestle down upon the pillow. “Is it warm enough?”

I yawn and nod. “Everything is fine, really.”

Kasper hops up onto the bed and curls between us with an extra loud purr.

“Tomorrow is a new day,” Linnaeus assures me. “Better and brighter than today.” He kisses my forehead.