Bandersnatch Boyfriend: Amadeus #1 (complete)

The lands just beyond the royal palace are a confusing labyrinth of woods, villages, flower gardens, and a massive lake that changes in size. There are also the chessboard fields, but no one really talks about them since the Queen War ended. Beyond the Rose Garden, there is a village that is more well-off than some of the others. It was a place where the palace staff purchased all their supplies; as such, the people in the town prospered. Just outside of Rose Village, there is Pig Village, a much bigger place with more people and less money. There is a great expanse of woods separating the two towns, as well as the great gate at the edge of Rose Village.  

I pass through that gate every day, sometimes multiple times. I blend into the people of Rose Village, all of them beautiful, tall, shapely, and possessing an air that makes one want to choke it from them. It’s a place of privilege and entitlement, so everyone believes they are better than their fellows. I much prefer Pig Village, where the people all struggle and so all understand one another. I won’t say each place isn’t without its good and bad, but Pig Village is the much more tolerable of the two.

I have been going into Rose Village for some years now, sneaking my way through the gate and making myself one of the Roses. I then rob people blind. Not exactly the best thing in the world to do as a profession, but there are people who do  much worse. Landbarons, tax collectors, politicians; those are thieves who have a veneer of respectability. I want none of that, though. Being a ‘lowly thief’, as people like to put it, makes me feel better. 

Anyway, I steal from the rich and give to the poor. The people of Rose Village won’t miss the bits and baubles I take from them, and if they do, they can easily have them replaced. The people of Pig Village need them more. What I steal, I am able to sell to provide for the hungry, weak, and sick. The Pigs are grateful as well, often giving me things I need. I could live off the garden vegetables and home-baked bread I receive for years, but I always end up sharing. 

For the most part, my job is fairly easy. The hardest part is dressing to look like a Rose every day. The corsets, shoes, and hair are all extremely suffocating. I can see why Roses opt to become housewives and pop out a few children so they don’t have to dress so confiningly day in and day out. After all, raising kids isn’t easy, but dressing up is tough. I’m used to it, though, which makes it easy for me to blend in. Back in Pig Village, my best friend, Alix, makes my dresses and styles my hair. His talent is so great, and yet none of the Roses know because he’s a Pig.

The other hindrance to my job is the High Sheriff, Amadeus. He absolutely loathes me and has sworn to capture me at all costs. I am everything he despises, and we’ve fought multiple times. The old man has lost more to me than he has at poker. 

Amadeus is a Bandersnatch, a dangerous creature in the Mirror Lands. Bandersnatch are born with a curse, sometimes inherited from a distant relative; for others, it just happens. They were employed during the Queen Wars as the highest-ranked knights, and used their abilities to take down enemies with a single stroke. For the most part, Bandersnatch have a normal appearance when they aren’t roused. Amadeus is eight feet tall, and has thick gray hair with black streaks along the temples and from the tip of his widow’s peak. He usually keeps it slicked back, but I’ve seen the veneer come undone and how wild it becomes. He’s got a white mouth that opens all the way to his sharp, pointed ears. His mouth is full of jagged, horrible teeth and a thick, black tongue that’s forked. His eyes are big, perfectly round golden orbs with pinpoint irises dead in the center. Well, the right one is; the left is covered by a patch. I’ve seen the black take over his entire eye before, and that’s never good. His face is completed by a small nose with a dent in the center, and flared nostrils.

Amadeus likes to flaunt his position, showing off his slick uniform while towering over the Roses with his impressive physique. He’s past middle age though, so I’m sure he’s not the force of nature he was in his youth. After all, if someone as tiny as me can knock him on his ass regularly, what threat can he really be?

I suppose I shouldn’t underestimate him though. For all I know, he’s been going easy on me. One more close encounter, and the old fool may snap and show me what he’s really made of. After all, I have seen him activated to a degree, but never in his full Bandersnatch form. I’d best keep my luck close, or there may come a day when I don’t return to the Pigs. 

Recently, there has been an illness spreading through Pig Village. At first, it was the elderly getting sick, then the children. Now, the young and healthy are starting to succumb to it. They present symptoms of big purple rashes on their backs, which then start become scales. The scales itch, causing a coldness where they grow. The body heat lowers and lowers, so the sick must be kept extremely warm at all times. Along with this, the victims grow weak, can barely eat, and suffer horrible dreams to the point where sleep is unattainable. The doctors have been calling it Dragon’s Flu, and the medication for treating it is very expensive. In fact, the cure for it is pure gold; the doctors will submerge a patient in a bath of gold coins and hot water for eight hours. The only problem is that there are only enough gold coins for three baths, and over hundreds of Pigs are sick with the Dragon Flu. 

I’ve been working day and night to get gold in order to fill more baths. I’ve also been joining Rose poker games in order to get as much as possible. I know I’m playing a risky game because the more I steal, the more it gets noticed, and the more it is noticed, the more likely it is that I will have a run-in with Amadeus. I have to walk on eggshells these days, but I would do anything for Pig Village at this point.

One afternoon, as I am walking through the streets of Rose Village and closing in on an unsuspecting girl whose heels are wobbling, I see myself on a poster. I stop following the girl and stare up at the wall, the paper bearing my face and advertising a reward.

“Holy shit,” I whisper in awe. “He’s actually gone and done it.” I rip down the poster and gaze at the reward. “I haven’t even stolen this much,” I grumble to myself.

A hand slams beside my head on the wall. “I just put that up. What’re you doing tearing it down?” The low snarl vibrates against my ear as hot breath billows against the nape of my neck. 

I turn to look back at Amadeus standing behind me. He takes the poster from my hands and slaps it back onto the wall. 

“I wanted a closer look,” I tell him.

“I understand. Hard to believe such a pretty face could be causing so much trouble here.” Amadeus moves to stand beside me, and I have to tilt my head back to look up at him. 

“You think this face is pretty?” I point at the poster.

Amadeus scoffs. “It is what allows her to get away with her crimes. No one mistrusts beauty, so she is able to get close and take everything.” He glares down at me and his eye narrows. I quickly turn my head away so my hair falls into my face.

“Such a shame, isn’t it?” I’m trying to keep my smugness at bay. I turn to leave, walking slowly away from Amadeus. I keep my pace smooth and even so as not to arouse any suspicion. 

A hand then claps down on my shoulder. I glance down at the long, knobby fingers gripping me. The fingers have a fine black fur on them, while the joints are pink and knobbly. Amadeus lowers himself down, nearly bending in half to whisper into my ear.

“Just where do you think you’re going?” he snarls.

“Sir, you’re hurting me.” My lip curls.

Amadeus chuckles. “There are many ways I could hurt you, Dinah - ones that would be much better than grabbing your shoulder.” His other hand wraps around my waist. “Ways that would be much more enjoyable.”

“You cad,” I scoff and tilt my chin up.

“Did you think I wouldn’t recognize you?” He whispers. “Did you not think I haven’t memorized your scent?” He rubs his nose against my hair, or well, my wig. He grimaces and tries to grab the wig off my head.

“Ow! Ow! Pins!” I scream at him and stomp my heel down on his toes.

Amadeus roars as the spike in my heel slices through his shoe and into the top of his foot. I whip around while his grip is weak, and punch him in the chin while his head is down. Then I grab his big head and bring my knee into his jaw. Amadeus grabs my leg and swings me around, knocking me into the wall. He roars again, hunching his back and letting his hair loose into a wild mane around his head. The pinprick pupil of his exposed eye is growing wider.

I take out the sword hidden in my dress and brandish it in front of me. “You really want to do this here, Amadeus?” I smirk at him and pop my neck. “Wouldn’t you rather go at this like a gentleman and take it somewhere private?”

Amadeus is stalking on all fours towards me. The back of his jacket has ripped open, and spiky fur is spilling out. “Doing it in public is more fun, Dinah!” he cackles. 

I look around as people are screaming and running away. “You’re supposed to protect the public, and look at you,” I scoff. “You’re indecent, Amadeus.”

Amadeus stands up, ripping away what remains of his coat and shirt. There are thick black scales on his chest and shoulders that look like chunks of armor. He chuckles darkly, and his tongue licks across his teeth. “I thought you liked it.” He paws his hand down his chest.

“You’re an old man. What is there to like?” I charge forward, but he knocks my sword aside. I lunge back, but his tail grabs my ankle and hoists me high into the air. 

“You think you can run away forever, Dinah?” he snarls. 

I swing my sword and slice across his cheek, cutting into the flesh and taking off his eyepatch. As he glares up at me, I see there is a keyhole in the center of the eye underneath. Amadeus tosses me before I can register what I’ve seen. He throws me high up into the air, then lunges and pins me to the roof of one of the buildings. The tin roof is hot, and my skin feels like it’s melting off. I kick into his stomach, stabbing him with the sharp heel of my shoe. I manage to scramble away for a moment, but he grabs me again. He holds me against the chimney with his hand around my throat.

“I’m not letting you get away so easily, Dinah. I finally have you where I want you,” he moans into my ear. “You’re finally mine.”

I grab hold of his wrist while laughing in his face. “Do you want to kill me or fuck me, Amadeus?” I struggle against him, but I know he’s gotten the upper hand this time. 

Amadeus grins in my face. He rips the wig off my head, but as he does, it explodes. Smoke surrounds us, and the shock makes him trip and fall off the roof. In the middle of the confusion, I manage to escape. 

For the moment, I feel victorious and smug again. As I reach the gate, I go back to Pig Village. Once I’m safely inside Alix’s house, I start to strip off the Rose clothing.

“What happened?” Alix gasps.

“Amadeus almost got me,” I laugh.

“Oh, thank cards you’re ok!” Alix sighs.

I shrug. “Yeah well, I’m going to need you to take me back to him.”

Alix stares at me like I’m insane.

“Look, he has a reward out for me, and the reward is more than I could steal in a year. The gold you’d get from turning me in would help save Pig Village.” I put on my regular clothes and wash the makeup off my face.

“Dinah, I can’t do that!” Alix gasps.

“You’re gonna. So don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Amadeus isn’t going to let me go so easily. He’s going to keep me just to bat me around and have his way.” I start to laugh. “I’ll be fine and alive for a while.”

Alix scowls. “What makes you so sure about that? What if he does kill you?”

I turn and look back at him. “Then we’ll see,” I say with a shrug. “But for now, the reward on my head will save the village, and that’s way more important than me.” I grab some rope and hold them out to him. “Tie me up and take me back.”

Alix holds the rope in his hands. “Dinah, I-”

“It’s for the best.” I put my arms behind my back. “Don’t cry for me. I know what I’m doing. It’s a good thing, Alix. I’m not worried.”

Alix silently binds my hands and walks me back to the Rose Village. When we arrive, Amadeus already has his men at the gate, patrolling. One of them takes Alix and me to Amadeus. He asks no questions and takes me in immediately, tossing me into a cell near his office. I can hear him and Alix talking, but everything is muffled by the thick walls and door. After a while, it goes quiet, and the door creaks open.

Amadeus walks in and replaces the ropes on my wrists with chains. “Never thought someone from your beloved Pig Village would turn on you,” he chuckles. “Thought you would always be safe and protected there?”

I scoff and rattle the chains. “I’m in a cell. Why go to all this trouble?”

Amadeus smirks as he circles around me. “I’m simply enjoying the sight.”

“Oh, so that’s what you’re into,” I laugh. “Okay, fine. Enjoy it.”

Amadeus kneels down so we’re eye to eye. “All these years and I finally have you where I want you.”

I tilt my chin up and scoff. “I always knew you were disgusting, but I never figured you’d truly let me down like this.”

Amadeus licks his chops. “You won’t have to worry about that for much longer. Soon, you’ll get just what you deserve.”

I meet his gaze, the one bulbous eye with the pinprick of a pupil. “Oh, yeah? And just what would that be?”

Amadeus leans in and presses his nose against my neck. His mouth opens so his sharp teeth drag across my throat. I shiver, close my eyes and stand as still as possible. His hot tongue presses against my skin, and he bites down on either side of my neck. The low growl that comes from his throat vibrates down my spine and makes my knees weak. It would be so easy for him to rip my throat out right now. I should be terrified and pissing myself. Instead, I’m wetting my pants in another way.

Amadeus chuckles as he pulls away. “Until your trial, you’re all mine.” He licks my cheek. “I get to do whatever I want to you, Dinah.”

I gulp down the lump in my throat. “Disgusting,” I snarl as the heat pools in my loins. “Absolute filth.”

Amadeus’ smirk grows bigger. “I don’t care what you think of me. That doesn’t matter anymore.” He stands back up and towers over me. “You’re mine, Dinah. That’s all that matters here.” He tugs the chain binding my arms. “So you’d best learn that lesson now.”

I scoff at him. “Try to hold me all you want. I won’t let you.”

Amadeus attaches the chain to the wall. “Sleep well then, my pet.” He leaves the cell, locking it behind himself.

Hours later, I have taken to resting on the bed in the cell. It’s just a mattress on the ground, but it’s not the worst thing I’ve slept on. The door opens slowly, and Amadeus walks inside. He strides towards me as the door squeaks closed. I remain still, pretending to be asleep. Amadeus takes the chains and removes them from my arms. He then places a collar around my throat.

He presses his fingertip to my lips. “We both know you’re not asleep, Dinah,” he whispers. “Look at me.”

I grumble as I open my eyes. “Shouldn’t you be in your mansion by now?”

“How could I leave my pet behind?” He grins in the darkness. 

“You make me want to vomit,” I growl. I reach out and grab his face, pressing my thumbs over his eyes. “I’ll rip the other eye out this time.”

Amadeus chuckles and places his body over mine. “It’s been a long time since we’ve been this close, Dinah.”

I move my hands down around his throat. “You do anything else, and I’ll choke you too.”

“Tell me what you really want, Dinah,” Amadeus growls in my ear. “Before this life, you were such a pretty, sweet doll.” He bites my ear and I squeeze his neck. “Remember the ball?”

“I try not to,” I snarl. “For reasons.” I gaze up at him as his one eye glows in the dark. “I remember I caught some old pervert jerking off to my undergarments.”

“Says the girl who finished me off.” He dips down, kissing me. He bites my lips and tongue, and my fingers coil tighter around his throat.

“Once again, Amadeus,” I pant. “Do you want to fuck me, or kill me?”

Amadeus tugs the chain around my throat. “I want to own you,” he growls. 

I chuckle and lay back on the mattress. “You can’t have it both ways, Amadeus. Once I go to trial, you may never hold me again.”

“Your parents won’t allow you to go to trial. They’ll pay off the courts, they’ll pay me off too.” He tugs the chain again. “They’ll beg me to rehabilitate you.”

“And how do you expect to do that?” I laugh. “It didn’t work the first time you tried.” I stroke my hand down his chest. “I had you wrapped around my little finger. You’d let me get away with murder as long as I bat my lashes the right way.”

“I’ve learned,” he snarls. “From now on, you’ll be the one wrapped around my finger. You won’t ever manipulate me again.”

I bite my lip. “Look who has finally grown a spine.”

Amadeus groans. “All these years of dancing around one another. Ever since you ran away, this is all I have wanted. To hold the chain, to keep you in place, to make you my own.”

“And punishing me for all my crimes, that’s not even on your conscience? You just want me to be a good little pet and snuggle in your lap?” I throw my head back, laughing.

“All your petty thieving has done is to annoy me. I don’t give a shit about what you’ve taken from all these assholes.” He bears down on me again, the weight of his body keeping me trapped against the old mattress. “I actually think it’s funny.”

I wrap my arms around his back. “You wouldn’t want that getting out now, would you?” I grab his long ponytail and yank it hard enough to tilt his head backwards. 

“Who would you tell?” Amadeus chuckles.

“It explains why you keep letting me get away time and time again. You like the chase.” I let go of his hair. “You like me.”

Amadeus kisses me again. His tongue slithers down my throat, and I suck on it until he pulls away. He glares down at me, his teeth bared and his breath heavy. He sits up so I can see the bulge in his pants. 

“I hate you,” he snarls. “All the blood within me pulses because of how much I despise you.”

I smile up at him and giggle. “You’re so very romantic, Amadeus.” 

“I’m going to destroy your life,” he growls. “Break it apart bit by bit and piece it back together so you’re only mine.”

“There’s just one problem with that.” I sit up and the collar falls off my neck. Amadeus flinches and stares at me as it drops to the ground. He tosses the chain aside, stumbles away from me and trips, falling onto his ass. 

I stand between his splayed legs and put my arms around his neck. “I am your master,” I growl at him. “I always have been.”

“How did you-” Amadeus pants. 

I press my finger to his lips and he bites it hard. “For now, I’m going to let you play. But if you piss me off,” I snarl, “I will choke the life out of you.”

“I’ve missed you,” Amadeus seethes. 

I kiss him and press his back against the door. “You don’t even know me.” I bang his head against the door and walk away from him. 

“Why did you run away, Dinah?” Amadeus snarls. “Why did you turn your back on the Roses?” He stretches out his legs as he leans back. “Why become a Pig?”

“Pigs are nicer than Roses.” I say as I plop back down on the mattress. 

“Was it someone else?” Amadeus sneers.

I grimace at him then let it turn into a soft smile. “No one else is you. So how can there be someone else?”

Amadeus sighs. “You always did have specific tastes.”

“So did you, disgusting old pervert.” I lay back on the bed.

Amadeus stands back up and dusts off his clothes. “I won’t ever let you go, Dinah. I’ve held you once and always will.”

I close my eyes. “It’s I who’ve held you.”