Behemoth Boyfriend: Ikshan Part Two (complete)

I am lounging in Ikshan’s study, going over his notebooks from meetings and jotting my own thoughts into the margins. Ikshan is behind his desk, still dressed in his ceremonial robes and turban after having met with Princess Aksha that afternoon. 

I have heard legends of her mother, Queen Imani, who was as ruthless and vicious as a feral Rakshasa, but was also one of the best leaders in the Ruby Empire. Aksha impressed me as  being like a knife’s edge, waiting for the chance to slice and dice, but she was eloquent and enthusiastic about her mission. She has been traveling all over the empire, hoping to regain allegiances that had fallen away since Sanguis began attacking. The island of Sita with its Behemoth army was just one of many countries who stopped supporting the Unified Nations once Demir had been slain.

“Pretty girl,” Ikshan mumbles from his desk.

I look up from the notebooks. “What did you say?” I ask.

“That Aksha was a pretty girl. You’d never guess she was so cunning, would you?” Ikshan sighs and looks away from his desk. “She has the perfect ruse with that sweet face. She can lull you into a false sense of security and before you know it, she has slit your throat and you would thank her for it.”

I smirk at him. “Are you suggesting anything, my Rajah?” I tease.

Ikshan chuckles and glances my way. “I sometimes wish I had that sort of power,” he replies. “Being able to fool with a smile. But-” He huffs and leans back in his chair. “No one assumes the giant in the room is anything but a threat.”

“Oh, come now,” I stand from my spot and walk over towards his desk. “You’re a gentle presence. Whoever thinks you’re a threat has no idea who they’re dealing with.” I stand before his desk. “Maybe that’s your power.”

Ikshan sighs and his eyes graze over me. “You look particularly stunning this afternoon, Veer,” He admires my body a moment longer before looking into my eyes. “Did I tell you that?”

“You said so several times in the meeting, but I was sure that was all an act.” I look down at my clothes. I’m wearing a seafoam green tunic, with loose-fitting pants that have shimmering lace and bead work all over them. Over them is a sheer jacket that’s more like a wisp of air than clothing. “I do like this color.”

“That was made from fabric I got while on Ilzan, the Isle of Driders,” he murmurs. “Back when I was young, and could leave this place if I so desired.”

“Are you feeling restless here?” I ask.

He sighs. “My friend, Rajarshi, is getting married.” A grim look crosses his face. “He wants me to attend the wedding and to meet his bride and her family, but my council has advised against me so much as setting foot outside the palace. All these new threats around the empire,” he grumbles and gazes distantly beyond me. “They fear for my safety, I know. And with no heir, there would be upheaval, and all of Sita would be thrown into turmoil for Goddess knows how long.” 

“It’s good they worry for you,” I murmur.

“Yes, but they are insisting I do other things.” His eyes lock with mine. “They want me to marry and produce heirs. This wedding has only egged them on!”

The hairs on the back of my neck prickle, and there is a cold pit forming in my stomach. “They can’t make you do that.” I shake my head.

“Do whatever is necessary,” he growls under his breath. “Just suck it up and do what’s best for Sita. The Goddess of Lapis will make it easy for you. It is wrong to not pass your blessing.” He frowns and turns his head away from me. “Sometimes I think I should give in and do it.”

The cold pit has turned into a sinkhole, and everything inside me is either freezing or being sucked down into this cold void. I step around his desk and stand by Ikshan’s side. I take hold of his hand and squeeze it tight. “But such a thing would make you miserable,” I whisper. “Why even toy with such an idea?”

“Because I love Sita.” He closes his eyes and I see wet streaks run down his cheeks. “I would do anything to protect it and keep it safe. I know I need an heir, but I just can’t-” His hand tightens around mine, and he holds it up. He presses my knuckles to his forehead and his trunk curls around my arm.

“I am glad you are here, Veer,” he whispers to me. “You’ve been a great comfort to me these past few months. It is nice having a close friend around when I am feeling this way.”

“It’s my pleasure to be by your side, Ikshan,” I whisper to him. “And I will stay by your side as long as you need me.”

Ikshan smiles softly. “Enough of my sadness.” He sits up and his trunk begins to move away from my arm. “Tell me, Veer, how are you feeling these days? How is your health?”

“I’ve been feeling just fine,” I bow my head. “I feel as though I am coming out of a tunnel, but I do not wish to let my guard down yet.”

“That is good,” Ikshan runs his fingers through my hair. “And remember, if the end of the tunnel keeps eluding you, you tell me.”

I nod at him with a smile. “I will.”

Ikshan settles back in his chair and sighs. “You must have more work to do. I’m sorry for disrupting you.”

“You could disrupt me all you desire, Ikshan,” I say to him. “It would not bother me in the least. I would still be doing my job.”

Ikshan chuckles with a breath. “I suppose you would.”

I sit back down and look over the notebooks again, but my mind is wandering too far to see what is written. I am worried for Ikshan and if he gives in to the pressure from his council and advisors. I don’t want him to marry some woman and watch him be miserable. I don’t want to see him give in to something that will make him unhappy. I suppose my thoughts are selfish, but I only want what is best for my friend who I cherish and care for so deeply. 

That night, I have another nightmare, but it isn’t about the Minotaur warrior. This time, I see Ikshan wearing a groom’s robe, and standing beside him and holding his hand is a woman. Ikshan is looking at her, while she keeps her back turned to me. Ikshan sees me, but he tells me to go away. I keep rushing towards him, but the music of the celebration keeps blasting into my ears and driving me back. Ikshan tells me to leave over and over, but I keep trying to grab him. I finally lay a hand on the bride and pull at her gown, but she steps on me, and that is when I wake up.

I sit up in bed, breathing heavily and grasping at my hair. I’ve broken out into a cold sweat, and my right arm is spasming wildly. It hurts so badly that I begin to cry, and I writhe in bed for a while. My mother comes to fetch me, but when she sees the agony I’m in, she rushes off to get help.

I keep thinking how nice it would be to just see Ikshan. Just having him near me now would be a great comfort. I lay in bed, crying and feeling nauseous, when a warm hand comes to rest on my shoulder. I turn my head and look up through my hair as Ikshan rubs my shoulder and down my arm.

“Your mother was in a panic. I got worried.” Ikshan’s voice is soft and gentle as he massages me. “Just relax. I’ll take care of you.”

I sigh with relief, having gotten my selfish wish granted. “Thank you,” I whimper.

“I would do anything for you, Veer.” His voice is low and quiet. “Remember that always. It’s my promise.”

Once I get to feeling better and sit up in bed, Ikshan has breakfast with me in my room. He’s sent for a doctor to come look at my arm, but they are away and it will be night before they arrive, so Ikshan has cancelled his plans for the day to make sure I’m okay.

“I had a dream about you last night,” I murmur.

Ikshan chuckles. “Did you?”

“It was a sort of nightmare,” I grumble as I sip my tea.

Ikshan’s ears flick forward and he chuckles. “Oh, I see, that makes much more sense.” He smiles my way and sets his empty plate down.

“No, no,” I try to quickly cover. “It wasn’t like that, it was-” I hesitate to speak about my dream. But if I can’t talk to Ikshan about it, then who would I?

Ikshan leans towards me. “What was it?”

I sigh and sink down a bit. “You were getting married,” I sigh. I run my fingers through my hair and brush it away from my face. “I kept trying to chase you and stop you. You looked so lost and unhappy. I just wanted to take you away.” I cover my face with my palms. “You kept telling me to go away, go away. And the music was so loud, it was pushing me back farther and farther.”

“What I said really did bother you,” Ikshan murmurs. “I thought it did.” He sighs and bows his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have burdened you like that, Veer.”

“I want you to, though. I want to help you in all matters, not just battles and war.” I look up at him through tears in my eyes. “It means a lot to me to be able to help you and be your friend through everything. Being your concubine may be an act, but I still feel it is my personal duty to see that you are happy and-” I stop myself and laugh. “Look at me.” I sniffle and wipe at my eyes. “I’m an emotional mess today. Good thing you canceled those meetings.”

Ikshan is quiet and his eyes are downcast. “It shouldn’t be your responsibility to see after my emotions. That isn’t fair to you,” he says softly. “I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“Yes, but-”

“No,” he cuts me off quickly. “Even if you were a regular concubine, that still wouldn’t be your duty.” He looks up at me, and his expression is pained. “No one should have to bear that burden. Not for me. Not for anyone.” He sighs, and his ears smooth back across his head. “It is enough to have you around, Veer,” he whispers. “It is enough for me to have you as my friend.”

Ikshan sounds like he is trying to convince himself more than he is me.

“That is the warrior in you, isn’t it?” Ikshan whispers. “To want to protect and save everyone. Well, you can’t do that. Not all the time.” He looks up at me and gives me a soft smile. “What you do for me is more than enough. I am eternally grateful you would even worry so much over me.”

“But I want to do more,” my throat tightens and chokes my words. 

Ikshan looks deep into my eyes. “For now, this is all.” He stands up and collects the dirty dishes and leaves the room. “I’ll come back when the doctor arrives. You should get some rest now, before that.” He closes the door behind himself.

I lay back down in bed and cover my face with a pillow. I sob into it, not wanting my mother to hear me cry. I didn’t just want to do more for Ikshan, I wanted to be more to him. I wanted to be something more than just an act.

The doctor arrives that evening, and she looks over my arm carefully. She pokes and prods and asks me lots of questions. Like most of the Kobold doctors I’ve met, Dr. Lamwilai is thorough, intelligent, and blindingly lovely. Ikshan stands towards the back of the room while she does the check up on me.

“I’m surprised no one has recommended surgery before,” she tells me. “In fact, up in Rakshasa Country, they’re running tests at the academy. Prince Himank is running them himself.”

“Is he?” I murmur. 

Dr. Lamwilai smiles at me. “He’s one of the best surgeons I’ve worked with. I could get you into his clinical trials if you’d like.”

I look at my right arm and flex my fingers. 

“The pain, the spasms - all of it would be taken care of?” Ikshan asks.

I glance towards him and see the worry painted across his face, close to pain.

Dr. Lamwilai gives a quick nod. “If anything, Prince Himank would be able to locate the problem and lessen the severity of the problems. Best-case scenario is a full recovery. Worst-case scenario is that the symptoms are lessened only a little.”

“So it would be worth it for him to go?” Ikshan murmurs and he turns his head away. “Even for just a diagnosis.”

“Until you sent for me, that was my next stop,” Dr. Lamwilai replies. “I know it’s sudden, but if you want Veer to go, I can take him with me to Rakshasa Country.”

“That’s good,” Ikshan says.

I turn towards him and gasp. “What? You’d send me away?”

“For your own good,” Ikshan glares at me. “Don’t you want the pain to be gone? Don’t you want to be able to control your own hand properly? If you say no, then you are a massive fool!” His posture is stiff and his eyes are vicious. “Take him with you, doctor. I’ll send you everything you need.”

“Tomorrow then,” Dr. Lamwilai gathers her things. “In the morning as early as possible. I’ll leave so you can get ready.” She exits the room, leaving Ikshan and I alone.

Ikshan is silent, but he shifts slightly and sighs. “I’ll send your mother with you.”

“No,” I insist quietly. “Let her stay here. It’ll be better for her.” I can’t look at him for the moment and I need to collect myself. 

“I’ll make sure you have money, everything you need, and… I’ll send word to Dhaval to make sure you’re treated well.” Ikshan starts to go to the door.

“Is there a reason you want me gone?” I snap at him. He stills. “If I go, it will be for a month, maybe longer. Is there a reason you want me to be gone for so long?”

“Veer,” Ikshan whispers.

“No!” I yell at him. “Tell me the truth! Is there a reason you want me gone?”

“Just do as I say, Veer,” he snarls under his breath. “This is what is best for you, and I told you I would do everything I could for you. You will do it, and that’s an order.”

I lose my breath for a moment, and I sink down into the bed like a stone.

“Do not question me again.” There is a tremor in his voice, and his next words come out as a sob. “I love you too much to see you in pain.”

I am not sure if I have heard him correctly. Time stops. Everything around me moves slowly, and yet blurs in my sight. Ikshan leaves before I can call out to him. He shuts the door and leaves me there to question whether what I had heard was real, or my own imagination running wild. 

I do not sleep that night, and I pray that in the morning, Ikshan will see me off with Dr. Lamwilai. But he doesn’t. I do not see him that morning at all as Dr. Lamwilai and I depart for the ship that will take us to Rakshasa Country. All my things are packed, and I am given a satchel from Ikshan once I step out of the carriage to board the ship. Inside, there is money and coin, as well as letters that are to be delivered to King Dhaval, Prince Himank, and a special gift for Queen Mythri and the princesses. 

I go to my room as the ship disembarks. I don’t even want to see if he is waving from the dock. I bury myself in my bed, convincing myself that his words must have been a hallucination or I misheard him somehow. But in my heart, I know what he said, and I long to hear him correctly.

Dr. Lamwilai comes to my room that evening. “Veer, is everything alright?” She asks me. “You’ve been in here all day, and you were acting strange this morning.”

“It is nothing, Doctor,” I mutter. “I’m seasick, that’s all.”

Dr. Lamwilai sighs and stands near the bedside. “The Rajah told me what you suffer, not just physically but mentally. He wanted me to keep a close eye on you while you travel. He told me he was worried.”

I sit up and look at her cautiously. “When did you talk to him?”

“This morning,” she replies. 

“Oh,” I sigh and clasp my hand around my face. So he saw her and not me? I get up out of bed and stand beside Dr. Lamwilai. “Have I missed the meal for the evening?”

“No,” she shakes her head. “That is why I came to fetch you. I didn’t want you missing another meal.”

“It’s best I get up now, anyway,” I mutter. “No sense in wallowing over things.” I have a month to get over this, so I’d best start working on it now.

Rakshasa Country is very beautiful. I have only been here once before, but the majesty of it is still as breathtaking as before. Dr. Lamwilai and I are first taken to the university, where we meet with the doctors and students who are studying with Prince Himank. We are given quarters on the academy grounds, and the next day we meet with Prince Himank himself.

He’s a very handsome man, and wickedly charming. He easily commands a room, and impresses everyone with his wit as well as his knowledge. When he comes to inspect me and look over Dr. Lamwilai’s notes, he gives me a great big smile and my heart patters a little faster.

“Ah, so you’re the one Rajah Ikshan sent,” he remarks. “Tell me, how’s he doing?”

“Fine, I suppose,” I mutter. 

“Uh-oh.” Himank tilts his head at me. “Your tone doesn’t sound too pleasant.” He pulls up a chair and sits down beside me. “Let’s talk, then. Start at how you got these injuries.” He moves the blanket back and looks at my leg. His fingers move along the scarring. “If you want to, that is.”

“It was during the siege of Obresh,” I answer him quietly. “When the Drow and Minotaur attacked, a Minotaur’s horn went through my leg, and when he tossed me, he trampled my arm.”

Himank’s brow pinches. “Anything else?”

“Oh, yes,” I sigh. “Lots of broken bones, ages to heal.” I shrug. “But the main things were the leg and the arm.”

“Kold’s, right?” Himank asks. “Thought as much. I could tell by the scars.” He then picks up my prosthetic leg. “My cousin, Darius,” he murmurs, “he’s married to Dinihari, you know? He has a leg just like this one. The craftsmanship is remarkable. Comfortable, fashionable, and extremely usable.” He sets my leg down. “Things could be worse, right?”

“I suppose,” I grumble.

“We’ll make it better.” Himank squeezes my right arm just below the shoulder. “I promise this will be easy, and we’ll make sure you’re okay every step of the way.”

“Promises,” I sigh. I then turn and smile at Himank. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you for donating your body to science.” He laughs as he stands up. “We’ll keep most of it.” He winks at me then moves along to see the other patients.

The next day, I am prepared for surgery. Himank and the other doctors go over everything with me, as well as the students who are attending the surgery the next morning. 

Once the surgery is over, I am taken to the recovery wing. It’s quiet and comfortable there and for the most part, I just sleep. When I wake up, I see a vision before me. There is a woman in the room who is older, but still retains an ageless beauty. She’s placing flowers by my bedside and humming softly to herself. She turns and sees me and comes to my bedside.

“How are you feeling?” Her warm palm feels nice against my forehead. “Do you need me to call a nurse for you?”

“No, I’m fine,” my voice cracks. 

“Water.” She stands up, fetches a cup and helps me drink. “I didn’t mean to wake you,” she says. “I like to check on my son’s patients to help him out a bit when he’s busy.”

“Son?” I blink a few times, as my vision is a still a touch blurry.

“Ikshan also sent a letter asking us to keep a special eye on you,” she chuckles.

I feel tears in my eyes. “You’re Queen Mythri,” I gasp.

Mythri smiles at me and combs her fingers through my hair. “You can call me Mythri, Veer. It’s very nice to meet you.”

I had never dreamed of ever meeting Mythri. She is a legend, a living Goddess. I start to cry, and Mythri comforts me like a mother. She stays by my side and holds my left hand, wiping the tears from my cheeks as they fall.

“Ikshan wanted me to give you something when you came to,” she soothes. “He’s always kept in touch with me. He was a little older than my boys, but he was like another son to me.” She places a small box in my lap. “I’ve always worried about him. It’s nice to know he has someone like you in his life.”

“What?” I sniffle.

“He told me everything in his letter,” she says. “He’s worried about you.”

I open up the box and inside is a bracelet. The chain is gold and there is a single lapis teardrop attached. My heart shudders and I start to cry all over again.

“How lovely,” Mythri whispers. “It’s an engagement token, isn’t it?” She hugs me and I sob into her shoulder. 

I nod and sputter “I am sorry you have to see me like this.”

“I have seen many young and old men cry. Do not apologize for something you need.” She kisses the top of my head. “Now, there’s a letter. Do you want me to read it to you?”

“No, I-” I gasp as I take the letter from her. “I can read it.”

Mythri stands up. “I’ll go fetch you something to eat then, and give you some privacy.” She closes the curtains around my bed, and I look to the letter.

It reads, ‘You were right. I was planning something. But it wasn’t until the night when we met with the doctor that I decided to scrap those plans. I wasn’t intending to hurt you by sending you away. I wanted to protect you. But I realized I was only trying to make things easier on myself by lying and convincing myself that things weren’t as they were. In reality, nothing between us was just an act. Every touch, every kiss, every moment was real. I have fallen in love with you, and I cannot pretend anymore that I haven’t. If you love me, then you know what the bracelet means. If you know what it means, then I trust you know the question I want to ask you as well. When you return home - if you return home - you can give me any answer, and I’ll accept it. With all my love, Ikshan.’

I sob into the letter, crying even as Himank comes to check my stitches under the bandages. He helps calm me down, makes me laugh and gives me a hug. He even helps me put the bracelet on my wrist, since I cannot do it myself. 

I have to stay in the hospital while I heal, for my own safety as well as for the students to study. I get frequent visits from Mythri, and having her around is a great comfort. Dr. Lamwilai sees me a lot as well. I keep Ikshan’s letter with me at all times, and I am anxious to return home to see him.

On the day I am to have my stitches removed and Himank is going to test my progress, I am extremely nervous. Today is significant, as it will reveal whether I have to stay longer, or can go home and continue rehabilitation with the doctors in Sita. I am sitting in bed, shaking and touching the lapis on my bracelet to my face. 

“Veer, you have a visitor,” one of the nurses calls to me.

“Let them in,” I sigh, expecting Mythri again.

As I stand up to greet her, I see who has arrived and the breath is stolen from my body. In fact, my lungs have turned to dust, and my heart has exploded from my back and crushed my spine. I stare up at my visitor, eyes bursting with tears.

“I came to bring you home,” Ikshan says softly. “I couldn’t wait any longer.”

I run to him, throwing my arm around him and hugging him tightly. He bends over, kissing me and running his fingers through my hair. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispers. “It has felt like an eternity without you.”

“I love you,” I cry to him. “I have all this time! Of course, I accept!”

Ikshan kisses me again, and then I hear a noise from behind him. Ikshan turns and straightens up as Himank arches his brows at us. He clears his throat again.

“Am I interrupting anything?” Himank asks. The students behind him giggle.

Ikshan stays with me as Himnak removes the stitches. We do a few tests on my arm, and Himank announces proudly everything should be fine. With any luck, the pain and spasms should stop, but he warns me the spasms may still occur in the future. He sends instructions with Dr. Lamwilai about my rehabilitation. I am allowed to return home as soon as possible. 

“I can’t believe you left Sita for me,” I whisper to Ikshan as we lie in bed. We’re on the ship bound for home, and we’ve not left each other since he arrived in Rakshasa Country.

“You keep saying that,” he chuckles. “But I would do anything for you, I told you that.” He kisses me softly. “Once we’re home, the world will know that too. I’ll marry you, make you my Rajah, and no one can tear us apart.”

I snuggle to his big chest, placing my ear there to hear his heart rumble like thunder. I kiss his shoulder and run my hand down his side. 

“What about an heir?” I ask cautiously.

“You’ll be my heir,” He murmurs. “Until we can figure something out.” He kisses the top of my head. “Perhaps we’ll adopt. Raise a few rowdy children of our own.”

I think about having a child with Ikshan and my heart goes wild. I picture a little baby sitting in his lap, playing with his quills and getting their hands stained with ink. I imagine waking up in the night to a frightened voice begging to get into bed with us. For some reason, I had never allowed the thoughts into my mind, in case I might get my hopes up. But now, I know, this is what I always wanted.

“I love you,” I whisper to him. 

“I love you too,” Ikshan sighs. “My Veer, my life.” He hugs me in his strong arms. “I won’t ever let you go again. I promise.”