Polar Bear Boyfriend Nicolai (special preview)

“How do you feel when you think about him?” Himank snaps at me. “Tell me truthfully. What happens when you picture him in your mind? Does your heart race? Do you smile? You feel empty when you’re away from him?” He narrows his eyes on me. “Think about Nicolai today. At the lake with his shirt off, his power on display. Think about afterwards and how he made sure you got warm. How do you feel?”

“I uh-you don’t! I’m not-Himank that’s not-you...” I cup my hand around my mouth. “Oh my god.” I choke. 

Himank sighs exasperatedly. “And everyone thinks Dhaval is the smartest.” 

“Oh my god!” I shriek as everything comes rushing into clarity. 

“That’s right,” Himank sighs.

Hot tears spike painfully in my eyes. I cup both hands around my face as I start to sniffle and whimper. Himank sighs and comes over to him, wrapping me up in his arms and letting me cry on his chest.

“It’s ok.” He rubs my back. 

I sniffle and hiccup and cling to my brother. “What do I do, Himank?”

“Well,” he sighs. “I suggest you talk to Mila. Maybe she’ll know the best way to talk to Nicolai. That poor boy isn’t that bright.”

I rub my eyes and nod. “Apparently I’m not either.”

Himank laughs and hugs me tight. “You can do this. I know it’s all new for you, but you can do it.”

That next day after a fitful sleep I go visit Mila while she’s having breakfast. Dhaval has gone to early training, so has Nicolai.

“I figured you’d be with the boys,” Mila pats the seat beside her. “Come, come. It’ll be nice to have some company.”

I sigh and sit down beside her while she pours me a cup of coffee.

“You look,” she points and tilts her head, “strange.”

“I didn’t sleep too well,” I sighs and let my shoulders slouch. “I kind of uhm-” I scratch behind my ear, “I have a lot on my mind.”

Mila’s eyes brighten as she notices a challenge before her. “Oh? Then share. I hope you consider me close enough to confide in me.”

I take a deep breath and huff. “I’m in love with Nicolai.”