Monster Band Part Four: Desi the Gillman (special preview)

I smirk again and sigh. “Well, what do you want to do?”

“I think Gibbs wants to go back. But…” His voice fades off and he hangs his head down. His frills fall flat and I can see he’s truly struggling.

“I’ve got the club handled,” I tell him. “You won’t have to worry about that at all. I’ll perform if Gibbs won’t be here.”

“You can’t do that and keep the staff in line,” Desi scoffs.

“Try me,” I stand up and go to stand beside him. “If you’re worried about this place, don’t me. I fact, I’d probably prefer it if you weren’t here. I’d be able to actually get some work done without you breathing over my shoulder.”

“It isn’t just that Seiji,” he grumbles.

“Then what?” I snap my hands to my waist. “You still look just as good as you did back then. You probably fill out those stupid latex pants better anyways. Not only that, all you do in your free time is play your guitar. You work at the studio nonstop and when you aren’t playing the guitar you’re working at the music store trying to fix them. So what the hell are you worried about?”

Desi huffs. “Being in the spotlight again is hard. You can’t exactly...be yourself.”

“You can’t be yourself anywhere. So what?” I scoff.

“You are. All the time you’re you.” Desi turns and looks up at me. “I admire it about you, Seiji. Ever since you were that aggravating kid who could fall asleep washing dishes.”

“That kid falling asleep washing dishes is more me than I ever could be. Gummy is more me than I ever could be. Me working? That’s the fake me. Me passing out on my couch in a corgi onesie is the real me.”

Desi snorts and laughs. “A corgi onesie? Fucking really?”

“It’s warm and I get cold a lot,” I roll my eyes. “Point is, you don’t gotta be anyone. Spotlight or not, just keep your chin up” I pat under his chin. “Otherwise these frills here make you look fat.”

Desi smirks and grabs my hand. “That’s not what I mean.” His voice goes solemn real quick. “You’re so free with your identity. I mean-” he frowns and looks away. “I’m not exactly...out with it and-” he looks back at me and for a moment time stops. The air around me is cold and as we kiss I turn into fluffy marshmallow.

Desi’s tongue is super slimey but he tastes like cold water. A sliver of spit connects out lips as he pulls back from me.

“Can I tip you?” I slur, still dreamy from the kiss.

Desi presses his forehead to mine. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that just to shut you up?”

“You should have, it would have worked.” I put my hands around his small waist. “So, you’re worried about being gay? Don’t you know the internet loves that these days?”

Desi grimaces. “I don’t want it like that. I don’t want to be some big deal or be celebrated because of it. I want to be a big deal because I’m a good musician who happens to be gay.”

“Then do that. All you gotta do is just walk out there and do it.” I reach down, squeezing his surprisingly firm ass. “That’s all I do. I just walk out doors.”