Esdras the Gnoll (complete)

    The last few months have been a whirlwind. Not only was there a wedding coming, but then there was the Battle on Berkset and the release of the slaves held captive there. Nadeem has announced his plans to abdicate the throne after Emmeline and Ishmael’s wedding so that the couple could take over and Emmeline would rule as queen.

    My sister Ismay has been working with Queen Mythri, who has offered to host the wedding now that Culuweth isn’t in the right state to hold such an event. I’ve been working alongside my nephew, Ishmael, and Emmeline. We've been tending to the slaves and the aftermath of the battle in the Berkset mountains.

    I’ve been asked to take special duty in looking out for Charlee, a special prisoner who was the lover of Sanguis Rex. In return for keeping her protected, she has been giving us all the information, we need on Sanguis as well as his acolytes and conspirators. Her daughter, Therea, has been her main concern and has begged me several times to set up a special guard around the baby.

    “What makes you so worried for the child?” I ask her one day during another meeting. I often talk with her over lunch, making sure she’s ok as well as collecting all papers and confessions she has written for me. 

    “I don’t believe her father is dead,” Charlee replies as she rocks the baby. She has barely touched her food at all.

    “Dhaval killed him. He assured me of that,” I reply. 

    Charlee is silent and not very reassured by that. Therea burbles and fusses, turning Charlee’s attention onto her.

    “Why don’t you let me hold her?” I suggest. “So you can eat.”

    Charlee grabs tightly onto Therea and eyes me suspiciously. 

    I show her my palms. “Just trying to help,” I tell her. “You look like you haven’t had a proper rest since you arrived.”

    Charlee’s posture sags, and she looks down at Therea. “You don’t know Saguis like I do,” she whispers. “His ambition and desire are so strong. He saw very few things than what could lay ahead of him.”

    I lower my eyes and set my fork down from eating. “I know him all too well,” I murmur. “Or well, not him, but someone very much like him.”

Charlee looks up to me, and I smile sadly.

“My wife, my Bethsabe,” I close my eyes as I lower my face. “She was amazing and brilliant, one of the most intelligent people to ever grace the empire.” I scoff and shake my head. The wound still feels as fresh as it did nearly twenty years ago. “But she was flawed, damaged. Perfect to me in every way, but I know she suffered.”

I look back at Charlee and smile. “You had the common sense to get out when you knew you had to.” I shake my head. “I didn’t. I admire that greatly about you Charlee.”

Therea fusses and whines as Charlee stands up. She hands the little bundle over to me, and I happily take it.

“I remember when Ishmael was such a squirming thing,” I grin as I hold Therea. She looks like her mother but has patches of black scales all over her body. “So small and sweet.”

“Do you have any children of your own?” Therea asks as she eats.

I sigh and shake my head. “Bethsabe and I tried for as long as we were together. The miscarriage took its toll on her, I’m afraid. She couldn’t believe she could fail at something and it just-”

“Ishmael speaks very highly of you,” Charlee cuts me off. “The few times I met with him, he just spoke of how much he believed in you.”

I smile softly as little Therea closes her big black eyes and falls back asleep. “He’s my world. He helped me heal after I lost Bethsabe. He gave me my reason to live back. Do seeing him to the throne and happily married makes me prouder than I’ve ever been.”

Charlee frowns. “It’s during the wedding I’ll be meeting with the Royal Council, correct?” she asks.

“You have nothing to worry about with the Council,” I tell her. “They simply want to speak to you in person to make sure everything you’ve given lines up.”

Charlee nods. “I just want this over with. I want to return to a normal life, but I feel as if-” she chokes up a bit. “I don’t believe Sanguis is gone,” she whispers.

We travel to the Rakshasa Court to prepare for the wedding. Queen Mythri has already taken care of many of the details, but there is much more at hand. There is the meeting of the Royal Council as well as the starting deliberations for Demir’s trial. 

“You seem in a fine mood, Mythri,” Ismay tells her as they go over plans. “For someone whose children just returned from their first war I mean.”

“If I linger on it too much I am bound to go insane!” Mythri scoffs. “And now that Dhaval has taken temporary control of the Nations Amit and I have stepped up as much as we can so there is not too much a burden on him. I’m sure you’re understanding that, watching your son take the throne and all.”

“Children have a way of driving you crazy,” Ismay agrees with a nod. 

Mythri then glances at me. “That woman you arrived with,” she says as she looks me over. “Is that your new bride, Esdras?”

I flinch, and Ismay throws her head back cackling. 

“No,” I shake my head as Mythri tilts her head towards me. “No, I uhm-that’s is the woman that Council wishes to meet with.”

“So then, that wouldn’t be your baby?” Mythri has a look in her eyes, and Ismay swats at her arm.

“I’m just helping Charlee and keeping guard over her,” I reply. “She’s still extremely worried that Sanguis Rex isn’t dead.”

“Blood magic is terrifying, I do not blame her,” Mythri says with a shake of her head. “I don’t blame her for carrying such fear. Especially with that baby.”

I think of Therea, barely six months old and so much weighs on her tiny shoulders. I close my eyes, not wanting to imagine such a life or world for that beautiful girl. 

“Do you care for Charlee?” Mythri asks.

My fur stands on end, and Ismay scoffs.

“My poor brother hasn’t so much as looked at other women, let alone let go of the past.” She sighs and shakes her head. “I have tried to take his mind off such things, set him up and found all sorts of matches for him. But he does nothing.”

“Charlee is quite beautiful,” Mythri murmurs softly. “And I’ve been told you’ve been spending quite a lot of time with her.”

“I’m protecting her,” I answer. 

Mythri smirks at me, and I see a shimmer in her eyes. “Of course,” she says with a nod. “She seems very fond of your protection.”

“I can see why some would consider you obnoxious, my darling Mythri,” Ismay says with a big grin. “You may have met your match with my brother. I wouldn’t try your beloved game with him.”

Mythri just laughs. “What makes you think I’m trying to play my game?”

“Oh, just everything,” Ismay flicks the tip of her nose. “My brother has no intentions for that poor girl. No matter what you think.”

I smile softly, picturing Charlee and Therea for a moment. I then sigh, wondering what life would be like had Bethsabe and I been able to have our baby. Would she still be here? Would she be able to smile and it not hurt? I don’t want to think about her, but I feel as though I need to.

That evening I return to my quarters that I’m sharing with Charlee. A guard stands watch over the door, making sure Charlee neither runs and no one enters the room. As I step inside, I hear Therea screaming bloody murder. I rush inside, readying my hand at my saber and I see Charlee trying to give the thrashing baby a bath.

“Oh thank goodness,” I relax and tuck my saber back into place.

“What are you doing?” Charlee snaps at me.

“I heard Therea screaming, and I thought the worse!” I huff. “I was scared out of my wits.” I sit down and rub my forehead.

Charlee eyes me, and her brow pinches. “You were really worried for us.” She takes Therea from the bath and wraps her in a towel. 

“Of course I was worried,” I snap.

Charlee smiles as she sits beside me. Therea quiets, and her little hand reaches out and yanks at a tuft of fur on my cheek.

“Ow,” I laugh.

“She adores you, you know?” Charlee says as she manages to release me from Therea’s clutches. “She never cries when you’re around.” She offers the baby to me.

I take Therea, and she smiles big and wide with her toothless mouth. I grin at her. “She’s a wonderful girl,” I murmur. “I always wanted a girl.”

Charlee leans against me, resting her head on my shoulder and closing her eyes. I go completely still and my whole body tenses up. Charlee takes hold of my free hand and squeezes it tight.

“I feel safe with you in a way I never did with Sanguis.” Charlee nuzzles closer. “With you, I feel comfortable enough to let down my guard. With Sanguis I felt there always needed to be a guard.”

“Charlee,” I whisper.

“I want to be free of him,” Charlee sniffles. “I just feel that I can’t-” She sits up and covers her face with her hands.

    I set Therea down in her bed and turn to Charlee. “It’s ok,” I whisper as I try to coax her.

    “I feel him all around me,” Charlee wraps her arms around herself. “He’s not gone. I just know he’s not.” She looks up at me, and I wipe the tears from her eyes. “Hold me...Esdras.”

I hesitate, and my hands shake. Charlee wraps her arms around me, and my hands float there in the air. I feel afraid of this embrace. I don’t want to betray Bethsabe. I slowly place my hands on Charlee’s shoulders, and that seems to placate her enough. 

Charlee nuzzles to my chest, her tears turn to gemstones that clink and sing as they fall to the ground. She squeezes her arms around me and grips to my back. She’s so warm and close, and I slowly allow myself to hold her. 

The day of the wedding arrives, and people from all over the Nations start to arrive. Royals are in attendance as well as those who were honored during the War of Crown Jewels. I’m helping Ishmael get prepared. He’s all smiles, but he’s shaking like a leaf.

“I never thought I would be nervous, Uncle,” he says.

I grin at him and press my forehead to his. “I was terrified too. And remember, I was much younger than you were.”

Ishmael laughs and hugs me tight. “I just wish Dad was here.”

I rub his back. Bailin had died when Ishmael was still young. It was a shock and Ishmael barely left my side for the first few years afterward. 

“He’s here,” I tell him. “He’s always with you.”

Ishmael pulls back, wiping his eyes. “Way to go, Uncle,” he chuckles.

I take out my handkerchief and hand it to him. “I mean it. Your father has never left you. You’re very much like him.”

“Am I?” Ishmael sniffles.

“You’re brave, intelligent, humble, and wise. You’re going to make a perfect king and an even better man.” I hug him again, and Ishmael squeezes tight onto me.

Soon, the wedding begins. The music is beautiful, and as I watch Emmeline walk up the aisle, all I can think of is my Bethsabe. I remember that day well. It was not in the beautiful sunlit gardens of the Rakshasa Court but in the dark, candlelit Culuweth Holy Cathedral. Bethsabe had a train that went all the way down the aisle. Her dress was antique white and covered with hyacinth flowers. I cried the entire wedding, Bethsabe was as strong and beautiful as she always was.

I step away from watching, even though I want to see my Ishmael with all my heart. I cannot stomach to attend this wedding. I walk away, going to a balcony that overlooks the sea. As I stand there alone someone comes up beside me.

I look down and see Charlee there. “What are you doing?”

She looks up at me. “Therea is with the other children,” she says. “Mythri invited me.” She smiles and runs her hand down the beautiful green dress she’s wearing. “No wonder the people consider her a goddess. She’s very much magic.”

“You look lovely,” I agree.

Charlee smiles and adjusts my coat. “You look quite handsome yourself.” She looks up at me. “Why did you leave the wedding?”

I sigh, and my ears go flat. “I am haunted.”

“Bethsabe,” Charlee whispers. She then brushes her hand on my cheek. “I know how it feels to believe someone isn’t gone. But if she truly loved you, she would want you to heal.”

I grab Charlee’s hand and press it to my face. She smells sweet, and her touch is so gentle. I look at her slowly dipping my head down to meet her kiss. I place my hands around her waist, holding her until our lips part. I step back, cupping my hand over my mouth. 

“I am not sure what love really is,” Charlee whispers. “I don’t know if I was with Sanguis for survival or-” she blinks tears from her eyes that turn into beautiful stones. “I want to love you so much Esdras.” She clutches her hands over her heart. 

“You’re far too beautiful for me,” I snarl. “Too soft, too full of potential. You don’t want someone old and broken like me.”

“Broken things often look better when they’re mended,” Charlee smiles through her tears at me.

I chuckle softly and kiss her again. I brush my fingers through her long hair and feel a desire in me. I haven’t felt in ages. She moves me easily, taking me back to our chambers where she pulls me into bed. 

Our kisses turn heated and long. We strip away our clothes. I stare at Charlee’s naked for, noticing small scars on her body. I kiss each one, trailing down until I’m nestled between her thighs. Charlee sings and moans for me, her long legs drape over my back as I make her sing. She tastes sweet, her nectar dribbles out freely and down my chin. As she pulses around my tongue, I pull back, and Charlee goes limp on the bed.

“Are you ok?” I rise up as her eyes close.

Gemstones run down her face, and she smiles. “I’m fine,” she sighs. “You’re so gentle.” She holds her arms open to me and brings me down to her. She wraps her legs around me, moaning into my ear as she takes me inside.

Her inner walls squeeze around me, and she’s warm and wet. I have not felt such need to be inside a woman since Bethsabe. No, I cannot think of her now. I only want to think of Charlee. I want my senses to be filled with her. I kiss her hungrily, rutting my hips, so I am buried deep inside her.

Charlee whimpers, clinging to me desperately. She cries out and sighs, her voice trilling as she clamps tightly around my shaft.

“Are you ok?” I ask, stalling for a moment.

Charlee bites her lip. Her already flushed cheeks blossom and even brighter red. “You’re uhm-” she giggles. “You feel so good,” she coos.

I smile, kissing her and move inside her again. I can feel my heat building, and as she starts to whimper and claw down my back, I surge. I release inside her, and she squeezes tight around me. I grunt and snarl, rutting until I can no longer breathe. I catch a breath and ease onto Charlee’s warm body.

“Mm,” Charlee whimpers. Her legs twitch, and she giggles. “I do love you,” she whispers to me.

    I kiss her softly and nuzzle to her cheek. “I love you too,” I whisper into her ear.

    There’s a knock at the door, and I rise from the bed. “You stay there,” I grin then dive back to kiss her. My heart feels so full and light, I can’t explain my joy. I quickly slip on my pants as the knocking grows louder.

    “I’m coming!” I snap. “I’m coming,” I unlock the door and open it. “What is it?” I meet the eyes of a young Gnoll who looks familiar to me. He raises a knife at me and forces me back into the room.

    “Edragon,” Charlee whispers in fear.

    I furrow my brow, looking to Charlee then the Gnoll before me. “No. It can’t be,” I lose my breath. “No it can’t-” I swallow. “Edragon...I thought you were dead!”

    “Leave him alone,” Charlee steps down from the bed.

    Edragon glares at her. “Did you two enjoy yourselves?” He snarls. “Betraying both your worlds? And for what?” His lip curls as he presses the tip of his blade to my chest. “To forget? To simply feel good?”

    “Edragon, please,” Charlee rushes towards him, and he whips around, grabbing her by the throat.

    “No!” I yell, and Edragon slashes the sword, cutting my cheek and face.

    “Esdras!”  Charlee screams but Edragon chokes her, and she claws at his hand.

    I am panting and shaking on the ground, clutching my wounded face as blood spills all over the floor. I then hear a baby screaming, and I look up, seeing a Dragonborn holding Therea in his arms.

    Edragon kicks me hard, and I fall to the ground. He then turns, taking Charlee out of the room while Therea screams. I look at the ground, seeing little gemstones scattered everywhere. I close my eyes, feigning unconsciousness until the sounds of their footsteps fade away. But Therea’s screaming still echoes loud in my ears. 

    My little girl, she’s calling for me.