Throwback and Find My Art Again

October has been an especially busy month.

The joy of being named the best in the world faded quickly as a wave of work took over. Shoots, projects, and constant travel left me with little time to create for myself. The works I had already finished are still waiting in folders, half-forgotten. Sometimes when I look at them, I feel a quiet sense of guilt—toward my members who have supported me, and toward the act of creation itself.

Recently, I began reorganizing my portfolio, which gave me the chance to reflect on both my artistic and commercial work. Perhaps it’s the influence of constant professional projects that has made my visual language feel too safe. The boldness that once drove me to challenge and even break my own boundaries seems to have faded. Looking back at my earlier works, I realized how much of that raw energy has softened with time.

Maybe it’s age, or the changes in my surroundings, but I can feel that I’ve drifted a little away from my original reason for creating. The curiosity and instinct that used to guide me now feel buried under deadlines and expectations.

So I’ve decided to slow down and return to where I started. I want to rediscover that space of freedom again, to let my art breathe and feel alive. In the near future, I hope to find a better balance, one that allows art and life, logic and emotion, to exist side by side once more.

今年的十月特別忙碌。

獲得世界第一的喜悅還沒完全消化，就被海量的工作淹沒。那些接連而來的拍攝、計畫與往返的行程，讓我幾乎沒有時間再為自己創作。已經完成拍攝的作品也因為後製與整理的延遲而停留在硬碟裡。有時看著那些未完成的資料夾，心裡會冒出一點愧疚，對支持我的會員，也對創作這件事本身。

最近我開始重新整理自己的作品集，也因此再次檢視了藝術創作與商業攝影的界線。或許是因為長時間投入工作，讓我的視覺表達逐漸變得規矩，少了那份曾經讓我著迷的自由與衝動。回頭看幾年前的作品，那種挑戰框架、甚至破壞框架的感覺好像變少了許多。

也許是年齡讓我變得穩定，也可能是環境改變的影響。但看得越多，我越覺得自己有些遠離最初創作的理由。那份純粹的動力與不顧一切的好奇，似乎在忙碌與現實的夾縫中被磨淡了。

這段時間我開始試著慢下來，重新回到創作的起點。我希望能再次找回那種自由呼吸的狀態，讓作品重新帶著冒險與真實的感覺。在不久的將來，我想找到更好的平衡，讓藝術與生活、理性與感性，再次在同一個軌道上共存。