SourceBook: Starfox
Added 2020-04-02 04:00:37 +0000 UTCMeant to get this posted yesterday.
Comments
Yeah. I wrote that from memory and looking at the older art rather than the new.
Ebonyleopard
2020-04-03 15:27:30 +0000 UTCAnd I think '..were assaulted..' works better than '...would be assaulted' and saves some lettering space. And as to 'knifed from behind' that MountainGoat suggested, considering what we saw in the posted pages flashing back to that event, leaving it at 'Travas was knifed, killing him.'' or 'Travas was stabbed, killing him.' Just suggestions, of course.
Karl Maurer
2020-04-03 04:20:47 +0000 UTCSCARLET! Wooooooooo!
UltraFennec
2020-04-03 03:04:04 +0000 UTCOK, a look now.
Ebonyleopard
2020-04-03 00:30:25 +0000 UTCHmm. Not sure if WHICH IS would fit in that situation.
Ebonyleopard
2020-04-03 00:01:22 +0000 UTCYeah, Was running out of room and had to think of a good way to end it.
Ebonyleopard
2020-04-02 23:57:36 +0000 UTC"The strong the impacting force, the" <-- missing comma
MountainGoat
2020-04-02 15:07:18 +0000 UTC"She can uses it" ... you want she can "use" it. However, I think it would read better combined with the previous sentence like this: "She can manipulate kinetic energy by absorbing it, and she can use it to increase her strength."
MountainGoat
2020-04-02 15:06:31 +0000 UTCThe last sentence of origin has a number of issues. Try: "During the fight, Travas was knifed from behind, killing him. Scarlet could only watch, helpless."
MountainGoat
2020-04-02 15:05:26 +0000 UTC"The second born of three, her family had a history of military service to the solar strike force, which is the ..." <-- missing which
MountainGoat
2020-04-02 15:02:46 +0000 UTC
