Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [30]

Although these four people...

Fine, Sasuke was actually pretty normal, aside from being gay. He could be excused.

Although these three lunatics argued so fiercely they nearly throttled each other, in the end Fugaku and Mikoto emerged victorious. After all, husband and wife united can break gold. Itachi stormed out in fury, leaving behind the words:

“Just you wait—one day I'll personally slaughter every clan member who has a favorable opinion of that brat!”

Uh...

What did he mean by that?

Wait—so the reason Itachi massacred his entire clan was actually because of me?!

No, no, no, that couldn't be right. Itachi wasn't supposed to massacre his whole clan alone—he spared Sasuke.

It was just a family quarrel, nothing more. Such a trivial matter couldn’t possibly lead to that outcome... could it?

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

Almost everyone in this world was insane! Wh-what to do? This scenario suddenly felt scarily plausible!

While Hoshino was clutching his head in panic, nearly frightened to death by his own imagination, Mikoto, this seemingly virtuous but actually brain-damaged housewife, once again spoke up.

“Hoshino-kun, was it? Sasuke has mentioned your name to me so many times that I'm sure I haven't remembered it wrong. I heard that besides often playing with her... you also frequently 'borrow' money from her?”

“Uhh... well...”

“And when playing together, you'd occasionally knock her head with your fist.”

“Urgh...!”

“Oh, and she also mentioned that you once attempted to forcibly 'do unspeakable things' to her.”

Hearing Mikoto’s accusation, Hoshino shot Sasuke an incredulous look.

Th-this brat actually pushed his own attempt to assault me onto my head instead?!
—Sasuke, have you no shame at all? Return my trust, dammit!

Seeing Hoshino’s accusing gaze, Sasuke went into full ostrich mode again.

She knew exactly why Hoshino was glaring at her. Clearly, he was angry because she’d revealed his past transgressions to her parents.

I’m sorry! At that time, I was just stuffing bananas into my pockets to fake a little O-O so my brother would recover faster. How was I supposed to know that my mother, who later found a pile of bananas in my room, would say something outrageous like—

“Oh my god~! Our little Sasuke has reached the age of playing with bananas? Unacceptable! I have to tell her father and Itachi about this immediately!”

—I only explained the truth because I had no choice!

Besides, you really did attempt it! As a man, you should gather the courage to admit your deeds!

As if sensing Sasuke’s earnest expectation, Hoshino gritted his teeth with great difficulty and turned to Mikoto to confess:

“I-I'm really sorry... I—I must've lost my mind back then. That's why I did such a thing! I sincerely apologize!”

“Mm, I like good children who bravely acknowledge their mistakes. You're doing very well, such a good boy~”

Being forgiven by Mikoto while she gently stroked his head, Hoshino felt so wronged he nearly cried.

Why the hell did he have to take the blame for this villain who reversed black and white, and accused him first?! It wasn't even his fault! And yet, what was this sixth sense inside him that kept telling him, 'I really should apologize to Sasuke’s parents'—was it seriously malfunctioning?

Although Hoshino wasn’t normally a sharp person, he deeply trusted his sixth sense, which had saved him numerous times before. It definitely wouldn’t deceive him now.

Maybe his sixth sense was right again this time. Although it seemed impossible, if he hadn't proactively shouldered Sasuke’s blame, perhaps Fugaku and Mikoto would’ve flipped out right then and there and tried to hack him to pieces.

Completely unaware that he really had once attempted “unspeakable things” to Sasuke, Hoshino accepted the blame in confusion, successfully raising his future mother-in-law’s favorability.

Thus, the “good kid who dared to frame the Hyūga heiress and spoke such pleasant words” and the “good child who bravely admitted his mistakes” was coerced by Fugaku and Mikoto into joining them for lunch.

Hoshino never expected the two of them to treat him this well, even saying things like—

“You should visit more often. Just think of this place as your own home. Don't be so polite. Oh, by the way—do you need any pocket money?”

“How about staying here tonight? Although our house is too small and doesn't have a guest room, you could squeeze into Sasuke’s room and sleep together.”

—saying things that made it sound as if he were their family’s child bride.

Why the hell would Fugaku offer him pocket money? This guy’s brain circuitry was completely incomprehensible.

And Mikoto—how could she have the nerve to claim that such a massive house didn't have a guest room because it was too small?

Even their bathroom was several times larger than his miserable dog kennel!

The more Hoshino observed Fugaku and Mikoto, the more he felt something was seriously wrong with both of them.

Could it be they'd already figured out Sasuke was gay and was pathologically obsessed with him? So, supporting Sasuke’s pursuit of BL romance, they truly considered him their future daughter-in-law?!

Suddenly sucking in a sharp breath, Hoshino instantly tightened his backside…

Thinking carefully, the people of this world seemed particularly fond of BL. And somehow, his own situation was disturbingly similar to a BL novel protagonist.

There's only one truth!

The answer was that those two definitely regarded him as their future daughter-in-law. And precisely because of this, Itachi, that ultimate brother-complex freak, resented him so deeply. This was the whole incident’s “truth”!

Damn it! Besides Naruto and Gorilla Sakura, who had both been desperately trying to bend him into a BL relationship, he’d now encountered two more conspirators harboring evil intentions.

This was troublesome. Seriously troublesome!

Uchiha Sasuke—I never expected you to be such a shameless person, actually leveraging your family’s influence to try and obtain me! Disgusting!

Noticing that Hoshino’s gaze was fixed fiercely upon her, Sasuke’s small face instantly flushed red.

“D-don't look at me like that. Father and Mother are here… Please restrain yourself a bit, at least until we finish eating…”

At this, her parents began covering their mouths and chuckling softly, watching their daughter blush shyly.

Meanwhile, Hoshino, thoroughly misunderstanding Sasuke’s words as implying, “My parents are watching, so stop resisting already,” stole a furtive glance at the sinisterly smiling couple covering their mouths, and tearfully shoveled rice into his mouth.

Rather than putting up pointless resistance, it was more practical to finish eating quickly and escape.

“No need to rush, child. I know you’re poor and probably haven't had many decent meals. Relax, there’s plenty more here. Whenever you’re hungry, just come over.”

“Oh my, it’s been ages since someone enjoyed my cooking this much. Back when Fugaku was courting me, he’d at least pretend to like it—and even washed dishes. Now? He doesn't even bother pretending anymore. He just coldly gets up and leaves after finishing.”

“Father, Mother, you two have talked too much today!”

Hearing Fugaku call him poor, Mikoto flaunting their love, and Sasuke boasting about her parents’ affection, a provoked Hoshino shoveled food into his mouth at a rate unmatched by even pigs.

Go ahead and enjoy yourselves. You want me as your child bride, huh?

Just you wait. It won’t even be a few years before your entire clan gets massacred, and Sasuke spends the rest of her life dramatically wandering the world, screaming “Where’s my nii-san?”

—In the end, the winner will definitely be me!

---

T/N: >.> i see so this story only lasts until the uchiha massacre i see i see, because itachi is gonna kill hoshino :sob:

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!