Naruto: Freeloading is Great! 2 [18]

Some people, after getting their first confession from a girl, immediately book a hotel.

Some people, after getting their first confession from a girl, instantly become honest, upstanding men.

And then there are others, who, upon their first confession from a girl—become gaylords.

Hakuya Hoshino—a man who just tacitly accepted a confession from a muscled gorilla bro.

“…I refuse to accept this! I—I’m supposed to be an isekai protagonist! Even without cheats or a harem… I’m still a legitimate transmigrator! But why the hell am I surrounded by gaylords!? Could it be…my transmigrator passive skill is actually ‘misfortune’? Or maybe, this is really just some BL game or manga? Am I destined to be a gay protagonist?! Is my life predetermined to become gay!? Aaaghhhhhh—!”

Overwhelmed by despair, Hoshino dropped into a squat, clutching his head, babbling desperately to himself.

Thinking along these lines—

Gorilla Sakura was definitely gay. The sky could collapse, and that fact would never change.

Naruto and Sasuke were also gay—no question about it. Those two had done god-knows-what in his toilet at home.

Shikamaru and Chōji, always rejected by Ino but constantly hanging together, probably gay too.

And then there's that absolute psycho Might Guy, clearly mentally deranged. He and Kakashi definitely had something going on.

If this theory was correct, Naruto acting so girly suddenly made total sense—scarily logical, even.

As he analyzed further, the astonishment in Hoshino’s eyes gradually turned into outright terror.

Slowly, he turned his gaze toward Naruto:

That brat who turned her jacket into a skirt.
That brat with such slender, pale legs.
That brat whose chest had already started developing.
That brat who’d once given him a fleeting, terrible thought of “doing her.”

…Th-there’s no doubt now!

This really is a BL world where gaylords roam everywhere, and my sanity is gradually being corrupted!!!

“My dear, why are you squatting there? Could it be that you—”

“I’m straight!!!”

Before the suddenly bashful gorilla could finish his words, Hoshino knocked him down with a sweeping kick.

Since Gorilla Sakura was still mid-stream, he couldn’t dodge. He fell, rolling once before ending up face-down on the ground.

And then, suddenly, he said:

“Huh? Wh-what’s this pleasant sensation… I feel my masculinity slipping away… just lying here in my own… Aaaahhh~~!!”

“How can there possibly be someone even more masochistic and perverted than Naruto!?”

After hearing Gorilla Sakura’s excited shout, as if discovering a brand-new world, Hoshino screamed in horror.

Then, face pale, he ran straight to Naruto, yelling loudly at her—but actually shouting at himself:

“Even if everyone around me is a perverted gaylord, I’ll never surrender and become gay!!!”

“H-Hoshino…you’ve finally…finally realized the truth!?”

For the first time ever, seeing Hoshino’s powerful resolve overcome his raging "inner flame," Naruto became so emotional she was nearly moved to tears.

She’d overheard Sakura’s earlier comments about being dumped by Hoshino—hah!

So, in the end, wasn't she herself the true victor?

Thus, Naruto spread her arms wide open and excitedly lunged toward Hoshino for a hug.

“I never imagined you’d return to the right path all because of me! Hoshino~!”

“Don’t you dare try to take advantage of me! You piss off too!”

With a yell, Hoshino kicked Naruto—the gaylord trying to sneakily cuddle him—away.

He only wanted a witness to hear his oath; he definitely hadn’t come here to declare his love for gaylord Naruto.

After all, he was a man who'd even rejected Gorilla Sakura—who was supposed to be a girl originally. Besides, Naruto’s chest, which had barely started developing thanks to his constant massages, couldn’t even compare to Sakura’s pec muscles. How could he possibly let Naruto grope him?

After a brief rest, Gorilla Sakura rinsed off in the stream, muttering bitterly about how “we just became a couple, yet the honeymoon phase already feels so cold… burnout happened way too quickly,” and rejoined the team dripping wet. The dead-last squad then resumed their slow climb toward the summit.

During their leisurely stroll, Hoshino saw several teams who’d previously passed them, but had since been "killed" by the teachers, now overtaking them again.

The first time the dead-last squad ran into one of these “resurrected” teams, both sides were shocked by each other’s appearance.

Hoshino was astonished at just how disgusting this garbage school was.

Meanwhile, the resurrected kids were stunned to see that the weakest dead-last team was still alive and hadn’t "died" even once?!

If you asked how Hoshino knew these kids had died before, the answer was simple:

Everyone who "died" wore clean white shirts, front and back branded with huge, brush-written characters spelling out “Trash.”

Anyone with a brain could guess this was clearly the garbage school’s doing.

After asking the "dead" students in more detail, the situation turned out exactly as suspected.

The school forced the "dead" kids to wash themselves clean, then put on fresh white shirts labeled [Trash] before letting them start climbing again.

The reason given was something like—

“We’re worried you’ll catch a cold from wearing dirty clothes, so we kindly prepared these clean shirts. As for the word ‘Trash’ written on them, it's purely motivational, designed to make you perform beyond your limits out of anger. Also, it’s to encourage you to study harder, grow stronger, and avoid becoming trash next time. You see how much your teachers care for you~?”

This kind of obvious bullshit could only fool six-year-olds.

If you’re so worried about students catching a cold, then stop throwing shit-balloons at them in the first place! Why not use dye-filled balloons instead?

No matter how you look at it, the word [Trash] was clearly just the teachers’ twisted sense of humor.

As Hoshino marched on, silently cursing this garbage school and its garbage teachers—

“Roar—! You pieces of trash, your beloved Bear-sensei is back agai—eh? Ah!! Now I remember! You're those three little bastards who tricked me with fake explosive tags! This time, I swear—I swear I'll kill you! Eat shit!”

The dead-last squad hadn’t even reached the second checkpoint before encountering Bear-sensei from the first stage again.

Sometimes, seriously…when your luck runs out, shit like this just keeps piling up.

“Waah! Hoshino, you’re running away first again!?”

“E-ever since we played that terrible game earlier, I…I've stopped wanting to run. Instead…I'm actually hoping to get splattered by those special ‘water’ balloons. My d-dear, am I beyond saving?”

Naruto complaining about her own slow reaction and blaming it on Hoshino was irritating enough.

But the awakened masochist gorilla’s words were even more concerning.

“You hopeless masochistic gaylord! And stop calling me ‘my dear,’ or I’ll kill you for real!!!”

---

T/N: HIS FLAME HAS AWAKENED!!!

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!