Naruto: Freeloading is Great! [22]

Since being cornered in that alley, a whole day had passed.

Although at the most dangerous moment Gai had swooped down like Superman and carried Hoshino out of harm’s way, Hoshino could feel no gratitude at all for that bastard culprit—only the urge to stab him to death.

Still, sticking with that lunatic hadn’t been entirely without payoff. At least by nighttime, Gai had already taught him the secret massage technique, as well as how to prepare the special green essential oil.

Once he’d gotten what he wanted, Hoshino didn’t hesitate for a second. With the excuse of “Shishō, I don’t want to slow down the pace of your burning youth”—and with dark circles under his eyes from pulling an all-nighter—he clutched his clothes and bolted out of Gai’s house at top speed.

Never mind the training intensity. Just the sheer insanity of those methods was already something Hoshino, who still wanted to save a shred of dignity, simply couldn’t accept.

When he returned home and was fumbling in his clothes for the key, the door suddenly slid open.

For some reason, Naruto stood there with reddened eyes, looking like an abandoned dog.

“Ho-Hoshino… is that you?”

But when he saw instead some weirdo with a watermelon haircut and thick brows, his face sank with disappointment, and he moved to shut the door.

Before he could, Hoshino smacked his head with a heavy slap.

“Shutting the door? What are you rebelling against!?”

“Eh? That voice…”

“Voice your ass. Go amuse yourself somewhere else, don’t block me from coming in.”

Ignoring the idiot clearly having another brain short-circuit, Hoshino stepped inside, found a mirror, and stared bitterly at his watermelon haircut and brows.

Before he could even start fixing them, Naruto—like a kicked puppy—suddenly threw himself at him, wailing in tears.

After several attempts to shake him off, with Naruto clinging tight to his back, Hoshino’s patience snapped. He bent down, grabbed him, and slammed him over his shoulder right into the bedding.

Thud~

“Ahhh, this scumbag move… it really is Hoshino, hee~…”

Watching Naruto sprawled on the floor laughing like an idiot, Hoshino felt the brat’s masochist streak had gotten even worse than before. At this rate, would he end up being the kind of freak who gets stabbed with a knife and squirts white stuff from sheer pleasure?

That guy’s increasing perversion could wait till later. For now, salvaging his own image was more urgent.

“Call me scumbag again and I’ll suffocate you with the blanket. If you’ve got nothing better to do, go fetch the bottle of alcohol from under my bed.”

Naruto, who’d been ecstatic to see him return, froze. Hearing that Hoshino actually wanted to disinfect his injury after hurting him, he became so happy he could barely speak.

That little bottle of alcohol carried history. Back when Naruto got pelted by stones, Hoshino had only tossed him the bottle and told him to disinfect himself.

There was never any need. Yet today, Hoshino was going to disinfect him personally!

“Here~”

By the time Naruto’s face had flushed red with excitement, Hoshino had already turned his ugly watermelon cut into a slicked-back style with all his hair combed back, looking a bit like Hidan. Naruto eagerly handed over the alcohol.

Taking the bottle, Hoshino dabbed some onto his fingers. When he scrubbed off the drawn-on brows with alcohol, he caught Naruto standing with his back half-turned, gaze locked tightly on Hoshino’s hand.

“…What are you doing?”

“Me? I’m waiting for you to disinfect me, Hoshino.”

“Disinfect you?”

“…Isn’t… isn’t the alcohol for me?”

“For you? What for? You got hurt falling on the blanket? Did your brain fry?”

Hoshino honestly couldn’t follow Naruto’s logic. Just one harmless over-the-shoulder throw—why the hell would he need disinfecting?

Not to mention, he’d controlled the landing angle—zero damage. And even if there were injuries, he’d need bruise medicine, not alcohol.

After finishing his disdain for Naruto’s malfunctioning brain, Hoshino noticed the kid seemed unusually obedient today, like a loyal puppy wagging its tail.

What’s this? He sneaked off to smear paint on the Hokage Rock again?

Feeling Hoshino’s scrutinizing stare, Naruto shivered, thinking Hoshino was still angry about him interfering with his “assault” on Sasuke. He bit his lip and blurted:

“I don’t know what I did wrong… but, but I’ll change. So please… please don’t leave me!”

Deciding he’d turn a blind eye to Hoshino’s future crimes, Naruto instantly ignited Hoshino’s fury.

The hell!? You smeared paint on Hokage Rock and you dare say you don’t know what you did wrong!?

So Hoshino clenched his fists, eyes glinting with menace, and stepped closer.

“Don’t worry. I won’t leave you. Not before you die~”

“Ah, really?”

Naruto brightened instantly. Even as Hoshino, embarrassed, choked him in a headlock and used violence to vent his shame, Naruto was still overjoyed.

With his fierce line—“Before you die, I’ll never let go”—Hoshino squeezed with all his strength. And yet, unbelievably, Naruto’s masochism had reached such extremes he was nearly suffocating and still smiling like an idiot.

Hoshino gave up. He was thoroughly convinced of Naruto’s masochist nature. This kid’s passive skill of converting pain into pleasure was far too broken—completely uncounterable!

When Hoshino finally tired out and released him, Naruto, exhilarated, spoke from the heart.

“Hey, Hoshino… Until yesterday, I thought I was used to loneliness. Used to eating alone, sleeping alone, talking to the mirror alone… But it’s your fault. All your fault, Hoshino. If not for you letting me see the sun, I could’ve kept enduring that darkness…”

“M-my fault…?”

“Yes! All your fault—! So… take responsibility. Promise me you won’t suddenly disappear from in front of me… o-okay?”

Hoshino was stunned. Absolutely floored by Naruto’s shamelessness. How could anyone say such lines with such pitiful eyes? And now he was blaming his own awakening masochism on someone else!?

But then, thinking about how he was always smacking Naruto whenever the brat was being stupid, it did kind of look like he’d been the trigger for Naruto’s masochism. If that’s the case…

“Fine! I’ll take the blame for this one!”

“Is… is it really that hard? I’m not that bad-looking, right? And you’ve already shown interest in my—oof, why’d you kick me again…!?”

“Get down on the floor and reflect on your perversions! You really dare ask why? Think about how much trouble you’ve caused me on a daily basis!”

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T/N: YOU DAREEEEEE ASK WHY?

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!