Naruto: Freeloading is Great! [15]

The “hunchback” of that tall man slowly slid down, and in the end he “gave birth” to a silver-haired little boy.

“Kid, that’s as much as this uncle can help you with. After all, the one bullying you was from the Uchiha clan…”

“Mhm, thank you, uncle~”

The little boy thanked him sweetly, then hopped off into the crowd—only to immediately clamp a hand over his mouth.

“Ugh…!”

Just thinking back to his own “cutesy act” made Hoshino’s stomach hurt. Pretending to be an innocent child bullied by some powerful aristocrat was even harder to stomach than he’d imagined.

The kind of guy who can disgust himself like this… in a sense, that’s a kind of talent too, right?

At that moment, Hoshino suddenly understood why he couldn’t be a badass like other transmigrators.

Because those so-called “ordinary” isekai protagonists, who claimed they were just regular people before transmigrating—yeah right, they were only being modest. If they could immediately plaster on a thick face, act cute, act spoiled—that wasn’t something normal humans could do.

Besides, memorizing songs, reciting ancient poems, copying entire novels or manga panels, redesigning technology for another world… none of that was something “ordinary people” could really do either.

Forget poems. As for songs, without prompts, Hoshino could only fully recite two from memory: the national anthem, and Liang Zhi Laohu (Two Tigers). That was it.

As for plagiarizing novels and manga from his past life… heh. The way background was constructed, emotion was paced, details of action, or in manga the paneling, linework, and tight dialogue—all of that was a blend of techniques. To recreate the essence from memory alone, without prep, just from a vague “setting”? Whoever could do that… was truly amazing.

“Suddenly I feel… like I’ve disgraced the entire transmigrator profession…”

As Hoshino brooded over how much of a failure he was as a transmigrator, he realized he had wandered up to a shrine, where a huge line of people was forming.

Since this was another world, gods… might actually exist, right?

Clinging to that ridiculous hope, he lined up too. Call it “when in Rome.” Anyway, tossing in a coin, ringing a bell, and making a wish didn’t cost him anything.

He already knew exactly what he’d wish for:
To have the plagiarism ability every transmigrator comes with.

Not too much, right? That wasn’t excessive, right? Plagiarism was basic starter-kit skills. He was only asking for a basic skill. That couldn’t possibly be over the line.

The line stretched longer and longer—well, it was New Year’s Day. Understandable.

Queuing was boring. So, bored, Hoshino began looking around…

“Eh? Ino?”

“Ah… the one I rejected.”

The moment Hoshino spotted Ino a few spots ahead, Ino also spotted him.

“Can you not call me something so hurtful? Even if you can’t remember my full name, at least remember the ‘Hoshino’ part…”

“Eh, small details. Doesn’t matter. I’ll probably forget your name again by tomorrow anyway.”

“…”

That totally reasonable reply from Ino left Hoshino faintly depressed. So he—destined lifelong bachelor—chose silence.

“…You’re sulking? Really, such a tiny heart. Can you even call yourself a man like that?”

“Sorry, I guess I’m not much of a gentleman. Truth is, if a burly man and a weak-looking woman stood in front of me, and I had to pick one to punch, I’d pick the weaker-looking woman without hesitation. That’s just the kind of guy I am!”

“You’re human garbage! And you even say it with pride!? This isn’t about being a gentleman—this is already a crime against morals and the three views!”

“Morals, my ass. One’s a wall of muscle, one’s a soft persimmon. Of course I’d pick the soft persimmon. That’s equality between men and women.”

“…You can even twist it like that? What a garbage excuse for a man.”

“What, you not convinced? Bite me, then!”

“You think I won’t!?”

Ino snapped and grabbed his arm, about to sink her teeth in—

“Wait, why are you raising your fist—?”

“Getting ready to smack you flying before you bite me.”

“Ha-ha… you… you won’t actually hit me, right? I am a girl…”

“Heh. I’m a man who believes in true equality between men and women.”

“…F-fine, you win!!”

Seeing Ino back down, Hoshino didn’t press. He just ignored this loli who only ever gave him “uh-huh, oh, mm” responses.

No interest in another awkward chat—?

Wait… actually, this didn’t feel awkward at all.

And apparently it wasn’t just him who noticed. Ino suddenly stepped ahead of him in line.

“…Though I’ve just realized your personality is really twisted, talking like this is much better than last time. Why didn’t you talk like this before?”

“What do you mean, ‘like this’? Can you be specific? I don’t get your vague babbling.”

“How am I supposed to explain it? I don’t even know how to describe your attitude right now. If I had to say, it feels… more natural, I guess?”

“‘Natural’… You sure it’s not just that you’ve got a defective personality and enjoy being treated badly?”

“Guh—! Damn it! Your mouth, now that the filter’s off, is way too blunt!”

“You call that blunt? Please. This is barely—hey, hey, hey! Why are you suddenly tackling me? If you don’t let go, I’m gonna yell you’re trying to molest me in public!”

Though his words set off another vein-popping reaction in Ino, she held it in. She’d just spotted those two—pushed along in wheelchairs by their parents—coming closer. To avoid them, she quickly undid Hoshino’s coat buttons and shoved her head inside.

Hoshino froze, mouth hanging open. Never in his life did he imagine a loli would grope him in broad daylight. Th-this…

Before he could even thank the gods, he noticed two figures rushing over from the distance—gold hair and black hair, both darting their eyes about.

“Hey! Ino, quick, open your coat! Let me in too!”

“Ah…! Don’t pull me out! What are you hiding for? I’m the one who should be hiding!”

“Hah? What do you need to hide for? Shouldn’t you be running up to them shouting instead!?”

“Are you crazy!? Those two, I can barely avoid fast enough—why the hell would I run up!?”

So it was: Ino, desperate to avoid Chōji and Shikamaru, versus Hoshino, desperate to avoid SasuNaru. The two of them shoved and yanked at each other, both trying to bury their heads in the other’s coat to hide.

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T/N: LMAOOOOO yeah tip for you guys out there, don't be fake LMAO i know you guys are like but all those guys said to fake confidence and blah blah blah BUT WRONG take it from a girl we can tell when you're faking LMAOOO unless its like texting but then you the contrast is so clear so bold over text then you show up in person and you're like a turtle hidding in it's shell its just suuuuuch a turn off, just be yourself if the girl doesn't like that oh well

also good hygiene

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!