Naruto: Freeloading is Great! [6]

In the end, no matter what SasuNaru said, they couldn’t get Hoshino to cough up the money stuffed into his sleep-pants pocket. With negotiations collapsing, of course things went the way of violence.

The three were all the same age, so there wasn’t a huge difference in strength. If you had to say anything, it’s that girls develop a little faster than boys at that age.

After a round of “intense” fighting, Hoshino was pinned firmly to the ground by Sasuke and Naruto.

Sasuke, having gone through proper training, had the best technique. But since he had to hold Hoshino down with both arms, the only one free to fish the dirty money out of Hoshino’s pocket was Naruto, whose right hand was still empty.

“Why are both pockets bulging?”

Naruto muttered, unsure which pocket held the money. But whatever—it wasn’t a guessing game. If one was wrong, he could always check the other. He shoved his hand toward Hoshino’s right pocket.

When Hoshino saw Naruto’s hand heading right instead of left, he suddenly got agitated.

“The money’s in my left pocket! Put your hand on the other side—whatever you do, don’t touch what’s in the right pocket! If you do, it’ll be awkward for both of us—hey…! Did you hear me!?”

“Heh heh… don’t think you can stall with such a clumsy lie, Hoshino.”

Naruto, seeing his reaction, was even more certain the wad of dirty money was hidden in the right pocket.

“I’m not lying, you moron! Don’t—ah, aaahhh~~! Stop! Don’t pull that thing ou—”

Before Hoshino could finish, Naruto’s hand had already whooshed something out of his right pocket, holding it aloft.

“Ta-dah~! The filthy item is mine! Now hurry up and turn back into your twisted, sour old self, Hoshino!”

But Sasuke didn’t join Naruto’s loud victory cry. Instead, he stared at the orange-and-white cloth in confusion.

“Naruto… what exactly is that in your hand?”

“Are your eyes broken, Sasuke? Of course it’s your… huh? Why does this money feel soft?”

Feeling the texture, Naruto frowned and brought it closer to his face.

Moments later, he turned, stunned, toward Hoshino—whose face was pressed to the floor, silent.

“Naruto, that orange-and-white thing in your hand… I think I’ve seen something like it at home.”

“This is… i-it’s…”

Naruto’s face flamed scarlet. He stammered, unable to answer Sasuke’s question.

Hoshino didn’t need to look to know—Naruto the perverted brat must be dying of embarrassment right now. Serves you right, brat. I told you not to grab it, but you had to. Now regret it? Too late!!

“I-it’s nothing! Nothing at all! Don’t ask me!”

Panicking, Naruto yelled, then hurriedly shoved the orange cloth back into Hoshino’s pocket.

Hoshino stayed silent, but inside—

Idiot! Why the hell would you shove that disgusting thing back into me? It’s yours—take it and keep it yourself!

Unable to stand Naruto’s stupidity, Hoshino turned his head to glare at him. Judging by his expression, the kid had realized the real problem. His trembling hand hovered at Hoshino’s pocket again.

Finally, Naruto pulled the cloth back out—and stuffed it into his own pocket this time. Under his breath, he muttered:

“Th-thieving pervert…”

“—You’re the pervert here!!”

Hoshino roared, furious at being saddled with that crime.

What, you want to pin your own perverted nature on me? I was covering for you out of kindness, and you bite me back by shifting the blame?!

Fine then. Don’t blame me for showing no loyalty.

Having decided he wouldn’t cover for Gaylord Naruto anymore, Hoshino immediately defended his innocence.

“Sasuke, you might not know what that weirdo just pulled out, but listen closely. That striped pantsu belongs to Naruto. The real pervert is him, not me!”

Sasuke tilted his head, baffled. He had no idea what Hoshino was rambling about, but nodded anyway.

Naruto, meanwhile, was confused.

How could a pantsu-thief twist things so shamelessly, claiming the owner of the pantsu was the pervert instead? Unless…? Was it that being exposed in front of Sasuke, especially a female-like presence, bruised Hoshino’s manly pride?

Yes. That had to be it.

Naruto, realizing this, started to feel guilty for blurting out “pervert” earlier. To make up for wounding Hoshino’s fragile male dignity, he leaned close and whispered in his ear.

“Hoshino… I-I-I’m sorry. I said something… something too much just now… Here!”

As he whispered, he pushed the orange cloth back into Hoshino’s pocket.

Feeling that disgusting orange fabric return, Hoshino instantly understood—Naruto was yielding.

Looking at Naruto’s face, red as though bleeding, Hoshino knew the brat must be regretting shifting the blame.

Forget it. He’s still just a five-year-old, living such a pitiful life.

“This pantsu, I’ll deal with it tonight. But don’t ever do that again, or I’ll get really mad. Understand?”

Naruto squeaked like a startled rabbit.

Deal with it…? As in tonight he’ll use my pantsu to wrap that thing and do that with it…!?

Once again, Naruto was reminded just how depraved men could be.

Even though Hoshino’s “from now on, don’t stop me from stealing your pantsu” demand was outrageous, Naruto hesitated for a long time before nodding.

“I-I-I-I understand… Tonight, please don’t… don’t overexert yourself…”

“Easy for you to say. How could I not overexert myself tonight? Two or three times won’t be enough… But fine. It’s rare you’ve shown this kind of heart, so I’ll forgive you this once.”

Satisfied, Hoshino nodded at Naruto. Even though the pervert had backstabbed him earlier, since he admitted fault, he was still a good kid.

Thus, the incident sparked by a stack of bills and a strip of orange cloth came to an end—Naruto burying his head in shame, imagining himself sacrificing for Hoshino’s twisted male tastes, while Hoshino was busy planning how many washes it would take to purge his pants of that contaminated cloth once he threw it away tonight.

Since that was settled, next came—

“Hurry and take me mushroom-picking!”

---

T/N: jaw dropped

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!