Naruto: Freeloading is Great! [4]

A private showdown between Sharingan and Byakugan was about to explode!!

——Yeah, right!

It had already been a week since Hoshino and Naruto nearly got hauled to the Hyūga compound.

That much-anticipated Sharingan vs. Byakugan battle never happened. One had his “idiot little brother” in tow, the other was escorting the clan’s heiress—no way they were going to brawl in the street like they didn’t care about anything.

Still, that routine war of words between Uchiha and Hyūga wasn’t totally meaningless.

In the end, Itachi successfully used, “Either let them go, or leave your lady’s side and come with me to the Police Force for a detailed investigation,” as leverage to force Kūsū to release Hoshino and Naruto.

Probably Itachi had noticed there was a misunderstanding in the “assassination” and deliberately “rescued” them.

Or maybe he just wanted to make the rival Hyūga choke by forcing them to let the “assassin” of Hinata go.

Another possibility: he was only stirring the pot to act cool in front of Sasuke.

So Hoshino’s final verdict was...

That damn little-brother-obsessed Itachi, in order to look cool for Sasuke, saved the wrongly-accused me and Naruto by grossing out the Hyūga.

A perfect deduction—full marks!

Thinking about it that way, it was understandable the Uchiha hadn’t come by to collect evidence all this time.

But why was the Hyūga side also quiet? Didn’t they decide I tried to kill Hinata? How come they hadn’t sent anyone to carry out an assassination, a cleanup, an extermination—your “standard” big-clan plotline kind of thing?

Even if some things couldn’t be figured out for now, Hoshino’s lazy days still had to be lived—

“Hoshino, it’s already noon—why are you still sleeping? Get up and come pick mushrooms with me, or we’ll seriously go hungry today. Come—on—get—up—”

Naruto’s voice sounded right at Hoshino’s bedside.

Then, with a “heave!” from Naruto, Hoshino felt his quilt get yanked clean off.

Without the quilt, the temperature in his little nest dropped in an instant. The cold air snapped him fully awake, and he saw Naruto beside him beaming, holding Hoshino’s quilt like a trophy.

“You little brat!”

“Uwah! W-why’d you hit me out of nowhere! Ah—! Nosebleed! My nose is bleeding!”

Hoshino leapt out of bed and socked Naruto in the face, making him yowl.

“No yelling! I already boarded up the windows with planks. How did you get in, idiot?”

“I used the spare key. I secretly took your key to get a copy made when you weren’t looking.”

As he spoke, Naruto pulled a key from his pants pocket, showing off his “cleverness.”

A vein popped on Hoshino’s forehead.

“Hoshino, why are you mad again? We’re going to live together—me making a spare key is normal, right? If I make you open the door for me every time like you’re my personal attendant, I’d feel kinda bad.”

“Who’s your attendant! And what makes you think I’d agree to live wi—huh—!”

Halfway through his sentence, Hoshino suddenly sucked in a sharp breath.

He realized that, at some point, his tiny rented doghouse had gained a pile of old furniture, and the once-clean floor was now covered with a heap of messy orange clothes.

Seeing Hoshino’s stunned face, Naruto grinned wide with pride, giving a thumbs-up.

“I spent the whole morning moving this stuff in. Actually, I wanted to move my bed too, but it was too big and a pain, plus it takes up space, so I chopped it into firewood for later. From now on I’ll just share a bed with you. Two people hugging to sleep is warmer.”

Hoshino had once suspected that Naruto—the guy who chased Sasuke practically a whole lifetime—was a hopeless gay. Later he heard Naruto married Hinata in the ending and dropped the idea, but now…

Face dark, Hoshino pointed at the door of his doghouse.

“Two options. One: take your stuff and walk out of here upright, right now. Two: I carry your corpse out of here sideways. Countdown from three. Three… two…”

When the countdown ended, Naruto—who’d been evicted for failing to pay rent—still hadn’t left with his things. Instead, like an ostrich, he squatted on the ground with his hands over his head, convinced he’d entered an invincible defensive stance.

“Hands-over-head squat is a loli-exclusive skill. You do not qualify!”

Despite the harsh words, Hoshino didn’t actually turn Naruto into a corpse and carry him out sideways. He merely lifted a furious foot and booted the Naruto-ball out of the room like a soccer ball.

After kicking Naruto out, Hoshino rubbed his forehead and looked at the mess.

He seriously couldn’t understand how that hot-blooded idiot from the anime had turned into… this.

While lamenting life, Hoshino suddenly noticed that among the heap of orange clothes, one item was… different.

“What the hell is that…?”

Curious, he walked over, pinching a scrap of orange fabric between thumb and forefinger like it was toxic.

A closer look—an orange-and-white striped pantsu.

What to even say…

Utterly nauseating!

A man choosing briefs over boxers—fine, radishes and greens, everyone has their taste. But if your briefs are girlish striped pantsu, then…

“Absolutely unfathomable! Uzumaki Naruto, you are way too perverted!”

From this pantsu, Hoshino became even more certain Naruto was gay—and a bottom at that!

The thought gave Hoshino full-body goosebumps.

Before he could toss the disgusting striped pantsu, voices of two kids drifted in from the hallway outside.

“So this is your home…? Isn’t it a bit… a bit too, uh, you-know-what?”

“This isn’t my home. It’s the home Hoshino and I share! Doesn’t it look gorgeous~”

“...Y-yeah, r-really g-gorgeous… ha, hahaha…”

The one hinting that Hoshino’s doghouse was too shabby sounded a little familiar. As for the other voice—the one he was so sick of he never wanted to hear it again—that was obviously the atmosphere-clueless gay Naruto, one hundred percent.

They were close. They’d show up at the door in a few seconds.

Hoshino glanced at the doorway, then looked down at the striped pantsu in his hand.

“Damn!”

Fighting down nausea, he hurriedly stuffed the pantsu into his pocket.

If he had any other choice, he wouldn’t shove that Naruto’s orange cloth into his pocket.
But with strangers about to walk in, he couldn’t just toss the pantsu aside. If the newcomer saw it and discovered Naruto had certain "preferences", then as Naruto’s “buddy,” he…

Would absolutely get pegged as gay too. No question!

As Hoshino was jamming the nasty cloth into the pocket of his sleep pants, a black-haired little boy appeared in the doorway.

“I heard you’re going to pick mushrooms later. Can you take me along?”

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T/N: pantsu

This is a fan translation of 火影之软饭真好吃 by 肾亏能力者 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!