Honkai: Star Rail – Banner Character, Delivering Knives to the Player [35]

Sampo lay sprawled on the ground, looking thoroughly beaten and utterly exhausted.

“No way he's hurt that badly—this guy’s definitely putting on an act,” Ah Xian muttered skeptically, recalling his previous antics.

After all, he'd only fought a few robots, not some apocalyptic beast.

Sampo wailed dramatically: "My dear friends, I—I’m done for. Even Natasha can't cure my injuries. Please carry on my dying wish and explore—"

"Don't worry, brother," Lingzhou warmly interrupted, "did you forget I'm a doctor?"

"I can treat your injuries with acupuncture."

Sampo's eyes immediately filled with grateful tears. "Brother, why didn't you say so earlier? You're practically my savior—I’m not gonna die after all!"

The camera shifted to Stelle and March 7th.

Both wore identically speechless expressions, silently watching Sampo’s exaggerated performance.

Clearly, they never bought into his nonsense.

Who could scream that loudly if they were truly dying?

I'll just watch you perform.

Surprisingly, the scene shifted to a full CGI cutscene.

"There's even a CG scene for this?! Talk about high budget!" Ah Xian exclaimed.

In the CG, Sampo looked considerably worse off than his in-game model. Not only was he dirtied and battered, but his eyes were visibly swollen.

Pitifully, Sampo turned toward Stelle:

"Dear sister, you won't need that baseball bat anymore—my backside is already beyond recognition."

Stelle showed genuine pity: "You poor thing."

It truly was pity.

Because she'd seen the horrifying object Lingzhou had pulled out.

March 7th's eyes widened dramatically, mouth hanging open in shock.

Lingzhou spoke gently: "Don't worry, the swelling will subside quickly. I'll use this silver needle to stimulate your circulation."

At his words, Sampo strained his neck, twisting around to glance behind him.

"Brother Lingzhou, you’re really such a reliable frie—...?"

Upon seeing the needle Lingzhou held, Sampo’s face instantly froze.

It was nearly a meter long.

"Um…Brother Lingzhou…That needle is so long—where exactly is it going?!"

Lingzhou calmly slid his fingers along the silver needle, examining its tip closely with narrowed eyes before answering airily:

"You'd rather not know. Be a good boy and close your eyes…"

The camera abruptly soared above the Underworld rooftops.

Several seconds passed—

"AAAH—UHHHH—YEEOOWWWWWW!!!"

In the sunless depths of the Underworld, an agonized scream pierced countless buildings, echoing endlessly.

It was enough to break hearts and bring tears to listeners’ eyes.

The entire Underworld seemed draped in a grim, sinister veil thanks to that single, haunting wail.

[The Scene Shifts]

Sampo, bent over awkwardly, limped stiff-legged into Natasha’s clinic.

Spotting an empty stool, he slowly sat down. But the moment he touched its surface, the icy shock coupled with intense soreness almost made him leap straight back up.

"Ow!"

By now, every player watching had a clear idea of what had transpired.

Across quiet dorm rooms, silent offices, or other entirely inappropriate places, waves of uncontrollable laughter erupted.

Ah Xian laughed until tears streamed down her cheeks, thankful she'd equipped herself properly earlier.

[I wonder how much fun the voice actors had recording this.]
[Sorry, but if not for seeing that needle, I'd think Sampo had been thoroughly violated.]
[Seriously though, a silver needle that long—he didn't really put the whole thing in, right?]
[Wouldn't it go straight through?]
[Probably just comedic exaggeration. If he really inserted the entire thing, Sampo would be dead by now.]
[Maybe it went in through his buttocks and into his thigh muscle?]
[Not impossible…]
[Poor Sampo—Lingzhou completely demolished him.]
[Are we sure Lingzhou isn't from the Path of Elation? He seriously reminds me of Masked Fools.]
[He clearly enjoys messing around, but he insists he's not affiliated.]

Natasha approached: "Sampo? What on earth happened to you?"

Sampo, face twisted as if constipated, shook his head repeatedly. "Nothing, just...had a bad fall…"

Natasha didn't press further. Seeing Lingzhou and his companions returning, her expression grew serious.

"You came back at the right time. That Upper District girl slipped away while I was busy with a patient's surgery."

"You'd better find her fast. If Wildfire members run into her first, things might turn ugly."

March 7th sighed in annoyance:

"Sampo just promised we'd meet Wildfire if we took the championship at the Fight Club. But even after winning and returning here, we haven't seen a single one of their people."

Natasha immediately cast a skeptical glance at Sampo. Yet, surprisingly, his words weren’t completely groundless, just heavily exaggerated.

Noticing Lingzhou’s quietly smiling face, she quickly understood what was going on.

Despite the situation, Natasha felt an undeniable hint of amusement at Sampo’s misfortune.

Serves you right for running your mouth.

Lingzhou considered something briefly, then turned toward Sampo:

"Bronya’s rifle—you’re keeping it safe, right? It’s time to return it."

Sampo instinctively tried to play dumb but shivered involuntarily when meeting Lingzhou’s gaze. Obediently, he pulled out the beautifully crafted sniper rifle.

He’d thought nobody had noticed when he secretly grabbed it during the chaos.

Turned out this terrifying man had seen everything and simply chosen not to call him out earlier.

Since when did someone like this join the Astral Express?

No matter what he thought or did, Lingzhou saw right through him.

Terrifying.

Lingzhou tucked away the rifle, then tilted his head toward his companions.

"Let’s go find her."

Stelle: "What about our guide, Sampo?"

Sampo nearly burst into tears.

Are you seriously going to squeeze every drop out of an injured man? I’m genuinely hurt this time!

Lingzhou smiled kindly: "Let him rest first. The pain should fade in about half an hour. After that, we can push—no, politely ask—him to resume guiding us."

"…"

Sampo’s vision darkened, and he fainted immediately.

It was over.

Targeted by this demon, he’d never taste freedom again.

[Ah Xian, do you like this terrifyingly cunning doctor?]

"I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!"

"Dai dai dai dai dai SUKI!!"

"I'm feeling unwell—I want Doctor Lingzhou’s acupuncture too…"

"Of course, that super-long needle would be too much for me. A normal-sized one will do just fine."

"I hope after acupuncture I'll sleep like a baby—for three straight days!"

[This livestream is beyond salvation.]
[What made Ah Xian like this? Oh, it's Lingzhou? Then it’s fine. I'm like that too.]
[When sisters generate electricity together, even gods can't handle it.]

Whether Sampo was truly unconscious or not didn't matter to Lingzhou or Ah Xian.

Quickly, Ah Xian guided the party toward the updated quest marker to locate Bronya.

From afar, she heard a somewhat familiar voice:

???: "Young Miss, these past years must have been comfortable and cozy up above, haven't they?"

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This is a fan translation of 崩铁：卡池角色，给玩家发刀 by 三十度幻. All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!