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Femme Visibility Tactic

Added 2025-07-10 13:24:44 +0000 UTC

Feminine queer women have often commented that it can be difficult to feel seen in public by other queer people. When people see Max, a masculine presenting woman with a fade who is covered in tattoos and wearing work boots, they know right away that she’s gay. When people see me, particularly if I’m with my kids, they often read me as a quirky straight lady.

One of the things I’ve enjoyed about dating Max is that when we walk into a room hand in hand, any gay person in that room will light up immediately, smile, give us a friendly wave. They know right away! I bask in being seen when I’m next to her.

We were at a wedding recently, we were the only gay couple in attendance. The token lesbians if you will. Max and I made secret comments to each other about crushing on the gorgeous bridesmaid who looked like Margot Robbie with more piercings. As the night went on and the drinks were flowing the bridesmaid in question walked right up to Max, smiled full of charm and said “Hi! I’m also a big homo!” as she introduced herself and shook her hand.

What a move! Max was of course smitten. I texted the coven chat immediately, wildly impressed with this visibility tactic. Catch me next time I want a hot queer person to know I’m on their team, flashing a grin and letting them know “I’m *also* a big homo!”