[Cheat] Chapter 131-135

# Chapter 131: Too Kind

“Ah?”

“My point is, I know you’ve contributed a lot to Mondstadt and to the Knights of Favonius—that’s why you were awarded the title of Honorary Knight.

But forgive me for being blunt: the things you’ve done, I can do too. In fact, in terms of contributions, I might have done even more. So why is it that I can never become an official knight?

I’m very confused, so I wanted to ask you about this. Is there some special method you used?”

Zephyr froze, silent. Was it really just because of these things, with no other reason? Wait—could it be that Amber pulled some strings for him?

“Well, this…”

Zephyr couldn’t exactly say it out loud. He couldn’t admit, I only became an Honorary Knight because of connections.

But then again, that wasn’t quite right either. Even though he had stirred up a lot of trouble in Mondstadt, those contributions were real.

No… the real reason was probably that. Jean was too worried about Noelle, and so deliberately didn’t give her the status of a formal knight.

Paimon asked, “Did you ask anyone else this question?”

“Yes. I’ve asked many people in the Knights of Favonius, but their answers were all different.

For example, I once asked the Spark Knight. I’ve always been curious—she’s so young, how did she become an official knight?

But before I could even finish asking her, she dragged me outside the headquarters to play with bombs… I thought it was some kind of training, but in the end both of us were locked in confinement by Captain Jean…”

“Pfft.”

Paimon couldn’t help it, though she quickly slapped a hand over her mouth.

Paimon, oh Paimon… Noelle is the only one who actually respects you. How could you laugh at her like that?

“S-sorry, Noelle…” Paimon apologized, full of shame.

Noelle tilted her head with a big question mark above her—she couldn’t understand why Paimon suddenly apologized.

“I also asked Outrider Amber. Not only is Amber really strong, but she’s also very kind. She even taught me how to make Baron Bunny. Honestly, aside from Captain Jean, she’s the senior I respect the most.”

“Amber holds such a high place in your heart?”

“Yes. Because Amber earned everyone’s recognition through her own effort. Whenever I feel down, I cheer myself up by thinking of Amber.”

“Other than that, I also asked Kaeya… but his answer left me very confused. He said, ‘Happiness is what matters most.’ Can being happy really make you an official knight?”

Paimon sweated. “Uhh, that guy… yeah, that definitely sounds like something he’d say.”

“I asked so, so many people, but in the end I never found a clear answer.”

Zephyr sighed. “To be honest, it’s because Captain Jean worries about you too much. She’s afraid you’ll overwork yourself, afraid you’ll get hurt. That’s why she doesn’t give you the title of official knight.”

“That’s not true at all! I’m not afraid of hard work, not afraid of exhaustion, and definitely not afraid of getting hurt!”

“That right there is exactly the problem with your mindset!”

“?”

“I heard about the adventurer who got trapped on Dragonspine. You ignored everyone’s protests and rushed up the mountain to save him. Sure, you brought him back alive—but you nearly died yourself, didn’t you?”

“N-no, it wasn’t that bad… I just had a fever for three days.”

Paimon’s eyes widened. Just three days!? Do you have any idea that for a normal person, even half a day of high fever can be life-threatening!?”

“It’s fine, look—I’m perfectly healthy now, aren’t I?”

Zephyr snapped, “Sounds to me like your brain got cooked back then! Before helping others, can’t you at least consider your own safety first?”

For some reason, he was getting angry. You’re so easy to fool… how am I supposed to trick you into signing a contract like this? Can’t you at least be a little sharper, so I don’t feel guilty when I scam you!?

Noelle tilted her head. “I never really thought about it. I just… simply wanted to help people.”

“Next time, try thinking before you act. That’s exactly why Jean hasn’t made you a knight. Otherwise, as just a maid you’re already doing so much. If you actually became a knight, you’d probably never sleep again—too busy helping everyone until you drop dead.”

“Well…” Noelle faltered, unable to respond. “Then what should I do?”

“It’s simple—learn to be lazy. Take a lesson from Paimon.”

“Mm-hm… wait, Traveler, what do you mean by that!?”

Paimon’s expression turned sharp.

Noelle turned to Paimon with hopeful eyes.

“U-ugh, don’t look at Paimon like that! Paimon is very diligent, okay? You won’t learn anything by following Paimon!”

“Please, Paimon-senpai!”

Senpai!? Paimon puffed out her chest. “Leave it to Paimon then!”

Zephyr said, “Noelle, I’m thirsty. Go buy me some water.”

“Right away!”

Noelle had just stood up when Zephyr pressed her back down.

“Did you forget what I just told you?”

“Uh…”

Noelle gave an apologetic look, then glanced at Paimon.

“Paimon-senpai, what would you do in this situation?”

“That’s easy.”

Paimon crossed her legs and said smugly, “This great Archon wouldn’t go! You can’t go yourself? Didn’t grow legs or what?”

Noelle: …

“Um, Paimon-senpai, isn’t that kind of rude…”

Zephyr’s eyes sharpened, but for Noelle’s sake he endured.

“No, that’s exactly how you should answer!”

“…Alright…”

“Let’s try again!”

With repeated practice, Noelle reluctantly learned to respond this way.

“Again. Noelle, buy me some bread.”

“I… I don’t want to go…” Her voice grew smaller and smaller.

“Noelle, louder! Be confident! The more timid you are, the more arrogant people will be when asking you for help!”

“Exactly!” Paimon nodded. “Traveler, again!”

“Paimon, buy me some bread!”

“What, you don’t have hands or what? Want me to punch you instead!?”

Zephyr pinched Paimon’s cheek. “Say that again.”

“I-I told you, it’s just acting! I didn’t mean it…”

Noelle, blushing with shame, murmured, “I… I’m really so stupid. I’ve let down your expectations, Honorary Knight…”

“It’s fine, take your time. Now come help massage my shoulders.”

“Okay~”

Paimon immediately shouted, “Wrong! You should refuse right now! Traveler keeps ordering you around—aren’t you even a little upset!?”

“No. I don’t mind at all. Any task can be entrusted to me—you don’t need to worry about my feelings.”

“But that makes you not a maid, but a tool!”

“Well… tools don’t necessarily feel happy from doing things, but everything I do for you gives me a sense of accomplishment.”

Noelle gave a sweet smile.

Paimon: …

Holding her head, she thought, hopeless… totally hopeless.

Zephyr quickly took Noelle’s hand and said, “Noelle, promise me, don’t be like this anymore. It really hurts me to see you like this.”

“Eh—”

Noelle’s face turned bright red.

Paimon’s eyelid twitched. What the heck are you spouting? Weren’t you the one bossing her around just now!?

…

The sun slowly set. Under the prestige of Zephyr the Honorary Knight—and with his shameless flirting—Noelle’s favor toward him had risen greatly.

Suddenly, Noelle seemed to remember something. “Oh right, we’ve been chatting so long I almost forgot. Tonight I still have work in the Knights!”

“Work? What work?”

Zephyr was puzzled. At night, the Knights usually finished their duties already. Even if there was overtime, it should be Jean working alone, not something Noelle would be in charge of.

Noelle explained, “Captain Kaeya asked me to help wash his eyepatch.”

“…What?”

Paimon fumed. “That guy, Kaeya…”

Isn’t that something he can do himself!? Why make Noelle do it!?

Lumine’s eyelid twitched. “Exactly! He can’t wash it himself?”

Zephyr growled, “No way—I can’t hold it in anymore. Let’s go to the Knights!” He grabbed Noelle’s hand and stormed off.

Just as they entered the headquarters, they ran into Kaeya, who was about to head home.

“Well, well. Noelle, Honorary Knight. What’s the rush?”

Zephyr glared at him, nearly swinging his fist. “I heard you asked Noelle to wash your eyepatch?”

“Mm. Yes. Why?”

“You dare ask why? Aren’t you ashamed!?”

“Exactly! It’s just one eyepatch—you could’ve washed it yourself! Why trouble someone else?”

“Oh, but it’s not just one. I’ve got dozens of them.”

//END

# Chapter 132: Temporary Workers

Paimon’s mouth fell open. “Huh?”

“I’ve got dozens of the same eyepatch,” Kaeya said smoothly. “Washing them every day is just too much of a hassle, so I asked Miss Noelle to handle it.”

Zephyr’s face darkened. “Kaeya, I’ve got a poem for you.”

“Haha, our Honorary Knight composes poetry now? What’s the poem?”

“It’s called Fá Kē (Cutting Axes).”

Fá Kē? What a strange name.”

“_In the Songs of Bin: Cutting Axes—

How to cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot.

How to take a wife? Without a matchmaker, you cannot.

Cutting axes, cutting axes, they’re not far.

I meet this one, with gifts and offerings at hand._”

The actual meaning didn’t matter—what mattered was the title.

Fá Kē… F… Kaeya Fck You!

Kaeya’s expression turned odd. “I don’t really get the poem, but why do I feel like you’re mocking me?”

Paimon crossed her arms. “Paimon is going to tell Captain Jean on you!”

“W-wait—”

Seeing Paimon storming off, Kaeya panicked. “Freeze!”

He raised his hand and conjured an ice wall in front of her. She smacked right into it.

“Ow…”

“Sorry, little Paimon. Ahem. You’re right. After your criticisms, I’ve reflected deeply. My actions weren’t proper. Of course I should wash my own belongings. Sorry, Noelle.”

“N-no problem.”

And with that, Kaeya whoosh—vanished.

“Count yourself lucky you ran fast!”

…

The office door opened, and Jean walked out, looking helpless. “You again. What’s all this noise about?”

“Captain Jean!” Noelle snapped to attention.

“It’s you, Noelle. I told you already, no need to be so stiff.”

“No! Saluting the Acting Grand Master is basic etiquette for a knight!”

Jean rubbed her temple. “It’s late. What are you all doing?”

Paimon quickly explained.

…

“That Kaeya…” Jean sighed. She was already exhausted by her usual workload, and lately it felt heavier than ever.

“I understand. I’ll deal with Kaeya, and I’ll also make it clear that Knights are strictly forbidden from slacking off and dumping their work on Noelle.”

“Captain Jean…”

Noelle took a deep breath, nervous. “I want to know—when can I become an official knight?”

Jean hesitated, then spoke softly. “Noelle… to be honest, you’re too kind, too diligent. I worry that if you become a full knight, you’ll exhaust yourself. And I worry others will take advantage of you. That’s why, for now, I can’t let you be one.”

Hearing this, Noelle looked downcast. But she had braced herself for the answer, so she could still accept it.

“Then… if I change? If I learn to be a little lazier, to think of myself more… will I be able to become an official knight then?”

Jean’s eyes widened in surprise—she hadn’t expected Noelle to say something like that. After a moment of thought, she nodded. “If you truly change, then yes—I can consider making you a knight.”

“Really? That’s wonderful!”

Noelle turned to Zephyr. “Um, Honorary Knight, I heard you’ve been looking for Vision holders in the city to sign some kind of contract, right? Do you think… could I?”

Zephyr was stunned. Good heavens… I didn’t even scam her yet, and the victim is volunteering herself!?

“T-this isn’t really appropriate…”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jean watching, her sharp gaze stabbing into him. I’m dead, I’m dead, I’m so dead…

But when a roasted duck flies straight into your mouth, how can you not eat it?

“Of course you can. Let’s sign a contract, Noelle.”

Taking her hand, he sealed the pact immediately.

Jean, who had just raised a hand to say something, froze at the sight. Then silently, she reached into her office and drew a sword.

Zephyr blanched. “W-what are you doing, Captain Jean!?”

Jean said coolly, “Nothing. Just joking.”

“That does not look like a joke!”

Paimon muttered in her head, Go on, Captain Jean, cut him down!—though she didn’t dare say it aloud.

Noelle bowed sweetly. “Honorary Knight, Paimon… please take care of me from now on.”

“Mhm.”

Jean said, “Noelle, I need to speak privately with the Honorary Knight. Could you step out for a bit?”

“O-okay.”

Noelle trotted off.

“Come in,” Jean said, returning to her office. Zephyr followed.

She took a sip of tea, massaging her temples, her face weary. “Tell me—what exactly do you think?”

“Think? About what?”

“About Noelle. How do you see her?”

“She’s a fine young girl.”

“A fine young girl? You sound like some middle-aged man.”

“You’re overthinking it. I’m only sixteen.” Zephyr said shamelessly.

Of course, both in the real world and in Teyvat, his true age was far above that. Especially Lumine—who had slept for who knows how many centuries. Definitely ancient…

He didn’t dare finish the thought, afraid Lumine would hit him.

Age doesn’t matter. Cuteness is what’s important!

Jean exhaled. “Actually, your timing is perfect. I heard you’ve traveled many worlds, so I want your advice. You’ve seen Mondstadt’s situation: once thriving, now depressed. Because of Stormterror, merchants fear to come, citizens fear to leave, crime in the city rises.

“In the past, the Knights could suppress these problems, but now—with the Grand Master leading most of the force away—the number of knights in Mondstadt has plummeted. Lately it’s been overwhelming.

“If you were the Acting Grand Master, what would you do?”

“This…”

Zephyr thought for a moment. “Hire temporary workers.”

“Temporary… workers?” Jean blinked, clearly unfamiliar with the concept.

So Zephyr began explaining capitalism’s universal miracle job.

“…From the sound of it, this profession is just a scapegoat.”

“That’s an extreme case. Normally, they’re just workers for short-term jobs.”

“But Knights are all formally trained professionals. Even if there are some problems now, most knights are competent. If we recruit temporary workers, will their standards really match ours?”

“There’s no choice. You don’t have enough people—you’ll have to do it.”

“…True.”

Training ordinary people into knights would take years, and time and energy were luxuries she didn’t have.

“Then… what kind of people should I recruit? Vision holders?”

“No. Strength doesn’t matter. Only character does. Like you said, even as temps, they’ll represent the Knights. Integrity is far more important than power.”

“I see… I’ll consider this suggestion.”

Just then, a knock sounded on the door.

“Captain Jean, are you in?”

Jean blinked and opened the door. “Miss Margaret? What’s the matter?”

//END

# Chapter 133: Dust on Jean’s Body

Zephyr looked over. It was Margaret—someone he was very familiar with from the game, though in this world, they hadn’t met before.

Margaret looked flustered. “Captain Jean, something terrible has happened!”

“What is it? Slow down and tell me.”

Jean tensed. Could something serious have happened in the city again?

Margaret took a deep breath.

“Little Prince… Little Prince is missing!”

“Little Prince? Is that your brother? That really is serious. I’ll summon the knights right away to search, and I’ll help too. Don’t worry!”

“No, no—it’s not like that. Little Prince isn’t my brother. He’s my cat.”

Jean froze. “…A cat?”

“Yes! My most beloved little kitten. But now he’s wandered off and gotten lost!”

Paimon couldn’t help but butt in. “Your cat’s missing, so you should go look for it yourself. Why drag Captain Jean into this? Paimon thought you meant a person was lost!”

“Little Prince is my family! And besides, everyone in Mondstadt knows Captain Jean is the kindest, most gentle, most helpful person there is. Of course, when something like this happens, she’s the first one I’d go to for help!”

Paimon was dumbstruck. That’s laying it on a little thick, isn’t it? And hey—what about Noelle then?

“Well…” Jean hesitated. “Miss Margaret, it’s not that I don’t want to help you. But the Knights are off duty at this hour, and I still have unfinished work to handle…”

“Please, Captain Jean! You’d only be losing some rest time. I’d be losing my family!”

Jean wavered, then sighed. “…Fine. I’ll help you search for your cat.”

“Thank you, Captain Jean, you really are a good person.”

That was when Zephyr spoke up.

“Wait a minute.”

“You just said Noelle is too kind and doesn’t know how to refuse people. And yet look at yourself. Aren’t you the same?”

Jean’s cheeks flushed faintly. “But… I am the Acting Grand Master. It’s my duty to help Mondstadt’s citizens.”

“Yes, but being Acting Grand Master doesn’t mean you have to personally handle everything. If you try, you’ll work yourself to death!”

He turned on Margaret. “And you—your cat went missing. Can’t you look for it yourself?”

“I-I did look! But I couldn’t find him…”

“Then go post a commission at the Adventurers’ Guild. They take all kinds of requests. Why bother Jean?”

“Because the Knights exist to help the people!”

“What you’re describing is a neighborhood committee. The Knights’ main duty is to protect Mondstadt’s safety—clearing monsters, maintaining order. Does finding a cat have anything to do with that? Go to the Adventurers’ Guild.”

“But… posting a request at the Guild costs Mora.”

“So this is all just because you want to save a bit of money!? You’re treating the Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius as free labor? Doesn’t your conscience hurt?”

“Exactly!” Paimon chimed in.

After Zephyr’s tirade, Margaret’s face burned with shame. She stammered out an apology and fled.

Jean’s expression was complicated. “You… shouldn’t have been so harsh. But strangely, after hearing you say that, I feel… relieved.”

She sighed. “If I think about it, maybe I’ve always known I shouldn’t be taking on these trivial errands myself. But I just can’t bring myself to refuse people.”

She gave a small, bitter smile. “How ridiculous… someone like me, lecturing Noelle about the same thing. No—perhaps it’s because I see myself in her, and I don’t want her repeating my mistakes. Zephyr, thank you.”

Zephyr pounded his chest. “No problem. If you can’t bring yourself to refuse, just call me next time. I’ll roast them alive with words.”

Jean shook her head. “I can’t let you play the villain. Mondstadt needs its Honorary Knight to stand with its people, not against them. And besides, my conscience wouldn’t allow it.”

In the corner of the office sat a replica of the Lyre of the Sky, but it was covered in dust. Clearly, Jean had been too busy to ever clean it.

She fell silent for a moment. “Give me a little time to think this over, alright?”

“Sure.”

Beep beep!

A message popped up. It was Hu Tao. Where are you!??????

“…Er, Jean, I just remembered something urgent. I’ll get going first.”

“Alright. See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” Zephyr hurried out.

At the doorway, Noelle stood with her hands clasped nervously. “Miss Lumine, have you finished speaking with Captain Jean?”

“Yes, it’s done.”

“Was it something important?”

“Not really. We were just discussing Mondstadt’s future development.”

“Wow… so you even know how to govern a city? That’s amazing.”

“Eh, average. World’s third best.”

Paimon deadpanned. “What are you, a grade-schooler?”

“Anyway, Noelle—since we’ve signed our contract, I need to tell you a few things.”

So Zephyr explained everything: that he and Lumine were two different people, and that they also came from another world.

Noelle was shocked. “So… Mr. Zephyr and Miss Lumine are two separate people…”

“Here, watch. Noelle, I’ll switch now.”

With a click on her portrait, Zephyr easily shifted control to her perspective.

“T-this is the power of a player… Incredible! I can’t move at all!”

Lumine stood there, frozen in place.

Paimon flapped around her. “Traveler, why aren’t you moving? Quick, you’ve finally got some rare freedom—run around!”

“I’m exhausted. After a whole day, why would I go running in the middle of the night? You think I’m not tired?”

After losing freedom for so long, suddenly regaining it felt… unnatural.

Strangely, Lumine even found herself missing the feeling of being controlled, missing that sense of being directed by another.

She even thought… maybe being controlled wasn’t so bad.

Paimon panicked. “No way no way no way, Traveler—you can’t start thinking like that!”

“Traveler, that’s a sickness! You need treatment!”

Wait… wasn’t this that… what’s it called again, Stock… something Syndrome?

Lumine chuckled. “Relax, Paimon. I was joking. I’m just too lazy to move this late at night.”

“Phew… don’t joke about stuff like that! You nearly scared Paimon to death.”

Meanwhile, Zephyr was already checking Noelle’s stats.

“Hmm, not bad. Just your gear’s a bit weak.”

She had a set of 3-star artifacts, low-level. Pretty underwhelming.

Noelle blushed. “I can’t help it… I’ve applied to Captain Jean many times, but she never gives me high-quality artifacts.”

“…Well, it makes sense. You dared climb Dragonspine alone with just a 3-star set. If she gave you a 5-star set, you’d probably be out slaying dragons by yourself.”

“The Knights don’t even have gear like that!”

“But you didn’t deny the dragon-slaying part, huh?”

Zephyr grinned. “Alright, little miss, spar with me.”

Lumine looked around, then pointed to herself. “Me?”

“No duh, who else?”

Noelle panicked. “W-wait, you want me to fight Miss Lumine!? That’s impossible—I’m no match for her, she’s the Honorary Knight!”

“It’s fine. She was the Honorary Knight. Stick with me and I’ll make you an Honorary Knight too.”

“E-eh!?”

//END

# Chapter 134: The Great Onmyoji

Lumine’s eyelid twitched. “Have you gotten a bit full of yourself lately?”

“Full of myself? Hah, I’ve always been full of myself.”

So this was what they meant by “with a new love, the old one is forgotten.”

Zephyr grinned. “Lumine, since your artifact levels are higher, I won’t hold back. Take this!”

The weight of stone brings reassurance. Before the fight even began, he cast a shield for himself.

“I attack, I attack, I attaaaack—”

“Too slow!”

Lumine tried to dodge, but her body didn’t respond as quickly as her mind. She tripped and fell flat on the ground.

“…”

“…”

Zephyr blinked. “…What the—? I didn’t even touch you. Are you faking it?”

“Ow!”

Lumine clutched her face. Her eyes shimmered with mist.

Paimon gawked. “No way, Traveler—are you crying!?”

“I-I’m not crying!”

“Does it hurt that much?”

“Not at all!”

Zephyr suddenly remembered. “Oh, right!”

When he controlled Lumine, she didn’t feel pain—or rather, pain could be adjusted freely. But once he switched out, sensation returned. Of course falling would hurt now.

“But why did you fall at all?”

Her artifacts completely outclassed Noelle’s.

Lumine muttered, “I haven’t fought in so long… I think I’ve forgotten how to fight properly.”

“…You can’t be serious.”

“I-I’m sorry, Miss Lumine, I didn’t mean—”

“It’s fine…”

Even so, Lumine was still Lumine. Though the fall hurt, she wiped her tears away and stood firm again.

That’s when Zephyr leaned in.

“Sorry, my little Lumine, didn’t mean to knock you down. Who knew you’d be so weak? You’re not gonna run off and tell my girlfriend on me, are you?”

Paimon muttered, “This guy… is he some kind of Great Onmyoji?”

Lumine’s expression instantly shifted, a terrifying aura bursting out.

“Bastard! Gale Blade!”

“Whoa—seriously!?”

The Gale Blade blew away Noelle’s shield and carved 500 HP off her health bar.

The moment it landed, Lumine regretted it and rushed over. “Noelle! Are you alright?”

Noelle’s heart pounded, but after a long breath, she smiled. “I’m fine. Thank you for worrying. As expected of the Honorary Knight—your strength truly is incredible.”

Zephyr scowled. “Really, though? We agreed on normal attacks. Who told you to use skills?”

“It’s alright, Miss Lumine didn’t mean it. It’s just that I’m too weak, that’s why I got hurt.”

Zephyr pulled a Sweet Madame from his bag. “Not weak—Lumine’s just hacking.”

“Hacking?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you a set too.”

After roughly testing Noelle’s skills, he switched back.

Lumine let out a deep sigh. This feeling… how nostalgic.

Paimon looked at her with concern.

Noelle, wide-eyed, whispered, “So this is the power of a player…”

She recalled what Zephyr had said earlier about other worlds.

“Um, may I… make a selfish request?”

“As long as it’s from you, Noelle, I’ll accept anything.”

“I want to travel to another world with you!”

“Hm? Why? Other worlds are very dangerous.”

“I know… but I want to become stronger! That way, I can help more people!”

“Uh, this…”

“Mr. Zephyr, you’ll help me, right? You’re a player after all!”

“Well…” Actually… it might be possible.

Zephyr thought it over. If I control her body, even if she wants to run off helping people, I can just not move. If she’s desperate to help, I can even sabotage her. Over time, maybe I can change her mindset.

“Alright. You can come.”

“Really!? Thank you so much, Mr. Zephyr!”

“Don’t get too excited. Yes, but I can’t promise when.”

“That’s fine. I can wait.”

Zephyr wasn’t lying. First priority was Lumine—the protagonist. Then Hu Tao, who insisted she wanted to establish a foreign branch of the Funeral Parlor.

He wasn’t thrilled about that idea, but since that was how he lured her into the team, he couldn’t back out now.

Last would be Noelle. There had to be an order.

“Oh right, Noelle—take this weapon.”

He remembered a five-star claymore he’d pulled ages ago but never used, and handed it to her.

It was the Moonwater Claymore, the one that let characters of other elements unleash Hydro attacks.

“If Noelle had joined earlier, would I have ever feared Pyro mages? She’d one-shot them with a single swing.”

Noelle took the claymore, glanced at its stats—and froze.

“T-this… this is… an artifact!?”

“Not that exaggerated. Just a five-star weapon.”

“No, no, no! A five-star weapon is a divine artifact!”

“You’re giving this to me? No, I can’t. It’s too valuable.”

Zephyr slammed his hand against the wall beside her—kabedon. “Valuable? Of course it’s valuable. But no matter how rare this weapon is, it’s nothing compared to you, Noelle. A five-star weapon is still just a weapon. But you—Noelle—you’re priceless to me.”

“E-ehhh!?”

Noelle’s face went scarlet. She covered it with her hands, speechless.

Paimon, deadpan, muttered, “Why does this sound so familiar…?”

Lumine nodded in agreement. At this point, she’d resigned herself. Fine, flirt if you must—just don’t start hitting on guys.

She didn’t know… if Zephyr ever met Zhongli, he’d flirt with even him.

In the end, Noelle accepted the weapon. If she hadn’t, Zephyr probably would’ve kept sweet-talking her for another two hours.

“…What’s that sound? It’s been going off forever, at least ten minutes!”

Zephyr finally noticed the red dot flashing in the corner of the screen.

“Oh crap!”

“Noelle, uh… could you help me with something small tonight?”

“Of course!”

And so Zephyr hurriedly dragged her back to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.

Inside the hall, Hu Tao sat in a grand chair, smiling. “Well, well. You do remember how to come back.”

Though she smiled, her voice was low and ghostly, like an evil spirit.

“It’s Paimon’s fault!”

“It’s Zephyr’s fault!”

Tch!

Knew you’d betray me! (×2)

Zephyr coughed. “Hu Tao, it’s like this…”

He explained the situation—well, most of it, leaving out anything that made him look bad.

Hu Tao listened, then nodded slowly. “Ooh~ so that’s how it is~”

Zephyr grinned. “So then, I’ll get to work. Tell me when we’re starting.”

“Starting? Do you even know what time it is? Everyone went home ages ago!”

“Don’t be mad, don’t be mad. Anger’s bad for your health. Do you really want to arrange your own funeral?”

A 井 symbol popped on Hu Tao’s forehead.

Paimon whispered, “Zephyr’s Onmyoji skills are getting sharper… just, uh, used in the wrong places.”

“Uh…”

Noelle shifted nervously. Should I… say something here?

Zephyr said quickly, “Don’t be mad. If you keep this up, I’ll have to bring up that 50,000 Mora debt.”

Hu Tao pouted. “You’re cheating!”

“No way—don’t tell me you really can’t even pay 50,000 Mora?”

//END

# Chapter 135: Use the Door, Damn It!

“You—hmph!”

“Hehe, come on, let me introduce you. This here is the main character I mentioned before—Noelle. And this is Hu Tao. From now on, we’re all teammates.”

“H-hello, Master Hu Tao.”

“Well, well, opening with ‘Master Hu Tao,’ huh? Not bad, Noelle, not bad at all. How about becoming the No. 3 of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor?”

“Eh… um, I’d rather work for the Knights of Favonius.”

“Sigh, what a pity. Such a pity—wait, the Knights?”

Hu Tao’s eyes lit up. “Noelle, how about taking out a policy first?”

“You see, you want to work at the Knights. And everyone knows how dangerous that job is. If one day you suddenly die on duty, that’d be tragic, right? So naturally, you should plan for your afterlife ahead of time.”

A bead of sweat rolled down Noelle’s forehead. “I-I’ve never thought that far ahead before. I usually just act on impulse when I see someone who needs help…”

“Perfect! The Funeral Parlor loves customers like you best!”

“Uuuh… Mr. Zephyr, help me!”

Noelle hid behind him.

Zephyr snapped, “Can you speak like a normal person? Say something from this world, not the next? Why are you always wishing people dead?”

Hu Tao looked a bit wronged, poking her fingers together. “I’ve never thought that way. I only meant to remind you how important it is to prepare for the future…”

“…”

“Go to bed. We’ll help tomorrow.”

What could Hu Tao say? She was just a pitiful 77th-generation Hall Master. She couldn’t say no.

…

The next morning, Zephyr was dragged out of bed by Noelle.

“Ahh~ up this early?”

“Of course. The early bird catches the worm.”

“Still, not this early. I bet Hu Tao’s not even awake yet.” He walked to the branch.

“The door’s locked.”

“No problem, I’ve got a key.”

He pushed it open and went to her room.

Knock knock. “Hu Tao, you awake?”

“Mmm…”

“Up you get. Work time.”

“Uuugh…”

Zephyr pushed the door open. She was still bundled in blankets, fast asleep.

“Well, well, Hu Tao. We got up at the crack of dawn to help, and you’re curled up snoozing?”

Hu Tao squinted, rolled over, and kept sleeping.

Zephyr’s eyelid twitched. “Paimon, get her. Tickle attack.”

“No way! If Hu Tao wakes up, you’ll definitely sell me out!”

“Useless.”

Since Paimon refused, Zephyr went in himself.

“I tickle, tickle, tickle—”

“Pff—haha—w-what are you doing!?”

Hu Tao shot awake, clutching her chest, glaring at him like he was some kind of intruder.

“The day starts in the morning. I was being nice, waking you up. No need to thank me.”

“Thank you!? No way! This is my room! How dare you just barge in!”

“I knocked. You didn’t answer. Ask Paimon.”

“Uh, well… yeah, he did knock.”

“Still! You can’t just—”

“We’re all girls here. What are you so shy about~”

“How dare you say that!?” Hu Tao sputtered, blushing. “Out! Get out of the Hall Master’s room!”

“Insolent! Remember, you already signed a contract with me. You’re mine now, got it?”

Paimon muttered, “Classic villain line.”

“Uuugh…” Hu Tao ground her teeth. “I’m mad now!”

“You’re mad? Do you want our help or not?”

“Help?”

“Of course. Why else would we come so early? We’re here to help. Breakfast’s over there—get up and eat first.”

“…Hmph.” Hu Tao turned her head away tsundere-style.

And so, after a little chatter, they started work. At first Hu Tao was sulky, but after seeing Noelle’s efficiency, she was astonished and forgot her grudge.

An hour later—

“Noelle, you’re amazing! You’re doing the work of five people all by yourself!”

“Thank you for the praise.”

Zephyr added, “Noelle, you rock!”

“Ughhh~~”

Hu Tao glanced at him. “Where’d you trick such a smart, capable maid into joining you?”

“Trick? She joined my team willingly.”

“Willingly? Ha! Don’t make me laugh. Do you want me to die of laughter so you can inherit the Parlor?”

“Believe it or not.”

After hours of labor, Zephyr said, “Let’s take a break.”

Hu Tao scoffed, “Tch. After just this little? Are you even a man?”

Lumine muttered flatly, “…No.”

Though Hu Tao said that, she was exhausted too. Everyone rested—except Noelle, who was still working.

Zephyr called out, “Noelle, rest a bit.”

“It’s fine. I’m not tired. I’ll just finish these tasks first.”

“Come on, you said the same thing earlier.”

Paimon chimed in, “Yeah, Noelle, don’t forget—you’ve got to learn to slack off if you want to become a knight.”

“Oh, right! I almost forgot!”

Finally, Noelle obediently sat and rested.

Hu Tao smiled. “Noelle’s so capable. If I were a man, I’d definitely marry someone like her!”

“Agreed!” Paimon shouted.

Noelle blushed. “You two are such jokers…”

After a long morning’s work, Zephyr stood. “I’ve got some errands to run.”

Hu Tao narrowed her eyes. “Errands? You’re not planning to desert, are you? Don’t forget, you’re the Vice Head of this branch now. Do well, and you could even become the Branch Master of the Funeral Parlor’s Otherworld Division. You wouldn’t want to run off, right?”

“I’ve got real business. I promised Wagner yesterday to forge some ore.”

“Oh?”

“What’s with that look? You don’t believe me?”

Hu Tao nodded seriously.

“Fine, then. Everyone knows Paimon and I are inseparable partners. I’ll go to Wagner with Lumine, and Paimon will stay here. If I don’t come back, you can squeeze her for all she’s worth.”

Hu Tao blinked and slowly turned to Paimon.

Paimon shuddered, slammed the table. “No way! Paimon has human rights!”

“Bye-bye~”

Zephyr leapt straight out the window.

“You traitor!”

“Use the door, damn it!” Hu Tao yelled.

Barely ten seconds later, Paimon dove out after him. “Traveler, wait for me!”

Zephyr waved. “Paimon, you’ve grown up. It’s time for you to soar into the wide sky alone.”

“Paimon Headbutt!”

…

In the end, ten minutes later, they still ended up at the blacksmith’s.

“Traveler, you’re so heartless! Even if Paimon sometimes steals your snacks, sometimes betrays you, sometimes stabs you in the back for justice, you can’t treat Paimon like this!”

//END