Heart

(vent)

Added 2023-11-02 03:40:04 +0000 UTC

Hello hi hello my almost-ex husband just sent me a couple disappointing texts not following through on something (which was shitty but I was like “okay thanks for letting me know”) and then

AND THEN!!!

AND THEN HE ACCIDENTALLY MIS-FIRED A FEW MUSHY TEXTS THAT WERE MEANT FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND TO ME.

AND GUYS.

HIS PET NAME FOR HER IS TWO LETTERS TWO LETTERS AWAY FEOM HIS PET NAME FOR ME.

And I get it, I know how it goes, I know it wasn’t personal, and it’s not the end of the world, but OH MY GOD I AM SO STABBY RIGHT NOW AND I WANT TO BARF AND THEN BARF AGAIN.

The response is physical, my guts are twisted, my upper lip is curled involuntarily, my heart beat is racing, pumping lava. My skin is crawling.

“my beautiful ___”

STAB STAB MURDER STAB

(the rage is really a smoke screen for my wounded sadness that it’s been so long since he’s been that sweet to me, since he talked to me with that kind of gentle adoration, more than a decade before our demise, that’s the part that really hurts, who is this man who talks this way?)

(hers)