Accepting Tea and Care
Added 2020-07-22 04:51:21 +0000 UTCShe set the mug down in front of me on the table, steeped tea, with precisely enough room left in the mug for too much milk (just the way I like it.) I was sitting with my youngest, he was asking me about tadpoles. Without breaking the conversation I stood up, grabbed the mug and headed to the fridge for milk when Max turned around, milk and sugar in hand and looked at me, disappointed. “Can’t you just relax?” she teased.
She was bringing me what I needed. She’s that kind of lover. I kissed her face and thanked her.
I’m not really good at letting people help me, but it’s not because I don’t want help, I’m just not used to getting it. I don’t leave space for it. It would have never occurred to me that she was going to bring me what I needed. I didn’t expect it. (I’m learning.)
I guess when I think about it, I’m that person in most of my interactions. I like helping, and being in service. I’m always trying to make folks comfortable, to be a few steps ahead of what anyone might need. I know how good it makes me feel to offer that kind of care to someone I love. I want to give her space to care for me.
Our first date was almost a year ago, and when she opened the door of her truck for me I assumed she needed to get something from the passenger side and stood back, out of her way. She’s a gentleman. I haven’t spent much time around gentlemen.
It was awkward at first, I’m independent, always have been, I don’t need anyone to open doors for me. I kick ‘em open myself. Getting to know Max meant learning that she wants to take care of me, it’s not a burden or a job, it’s not even an expectation, it’s how she expresses her love. Her language, my babe of few words. So I tried to let her. I learned to stand back at the hotel and smile at her adoringly as she reached ahead and held the door open for me, I learned to relish how it made her glow.
Next time I’m in her kitchen I will sit on my hands and let her make me a cup of tea, and I’ll remind myself how good it is for my sons to see me basking in her care. How important it is sometimes for me to just relax. (I’m learning.)
Comments
It's hard for the "care giver" to become the "care taker" but it is as important to let our loved ones take care of us as it is to take care of them. Some times the best way to show you love someone is by letting them show you their love. 🥰
Kass
2020-07-28 16:28:30 +0000 UTCAww ^__^ lovely. 👍
Daniel Drew
2020-07-26 06:13:58 +0000 UTCThanks, sometimes we do “best and worst” where you say the best and worst thing that has happened so far today. It’s a good convo starter. 🤓
Heart
2020-07-23 00:15:52 +0000 UTCoh, that's such a lovely practice!!
Emily Stewart
2020-07-22 16:22:47 +0000 UTCYes! The thankful question at dinner is awesome. I’ve always asked my kids that question during meals. And yeah, I want the kids to know that I deserve care too! We have a way of expecting mothers to not have human needs. It sets a bad standard for our kids futures.
Heart
2020-07-22 15:41:00 +0000 UTCGood point that she's setting a good example for your kids. It''s not about gender, it's about caring for each other. Showing love and caring through service. My wife started a new ritual for us a couple of months ago. When we sit down to dinner, we toast and then ask each other to tell us something we're grateful for that day. I found it difficult at first, but now I treasure it, because it provides an opening to talk about our days and what we find important.
Sunset Ridge
2020-07-22 14:03:46 +0000 UTC
