Heart

December 30th

Added 2019-12-30 20:56:28 +0000 UTC

I fucked up and missed a birth control pill last cycle, I’m a very fertile girl and I’m sensitive to error, so it resulted in me having a two week long period. Menstrual hormones aggravate my neck injury so it meant 13 days straight of tension headaches... hopefully I’ve learned my lesson and I’ll be more diligent. I forget that my body wants me to have thirteen sons, and is waiting for every opportunity to procreate. I wonder if my ovaries know I haven’t had sex with any cis men in months...

Now that my endless period has subsided I’m ovulating with the force of a thousand moons. I am full of want and need. Words like carnal and rabid and ravage bounce around in my brain. My skin aches for touch and tenderness. I wanna be someone’s princess, someone’s baby, someone’s special girl. I’m wet from my thoughts, mostly of Max and how badly I want to get my hands on her.

In 3 hours I’ll be on my way to see her. It’s only been a week since I was straddling her lap in the backseat of her truck, but it feels like ages. Holidays make time drag it’s feet, and my days have been filled with feelings and no place to put them. I realize how much I depend on time alone. But I don’t want to be alone tonight, I want her. I want her arms around me, her cheek pressed against my lips, her focus and her light.

We have some heavy things to discuss, but I’m not afraid. She’s so sincere and so good. I truly trust that she’ll be careful with me. It’s a revelation.

(This is a photo from the last days of summer, I never shared this edit. It makes me miss the sun.)