Heart

Rainbow t-shirt and little girl feels 🌈

Added 2019-03-08 23:35:34 +0000 UTC

This is my new favourite shirt. I can’t wait for Summer. For now I have to wear it with a daddy sweater to stay warm. This sweater was my ex’s. I miss wearing t-shirt’s outside. I miss having a daddy.

I was feeling so good today. The sun is shining, reflecting off of the snow and ice, there are little rainbows everywhere. My 70 year old yoga teacher was flitting around during class doing ballerina twirls and extolling our virtues in celebration of international women’s day. “Girls! Let’s heal ourselves!” she says. Sometimes she’s my saving grace. Her thick Ukrainian accent echoes in my head when I feel weak.

I felt weak this afternoon when I saw on fetlife that he’s dating his shitty ex again. I shouldn’t have clicked the link but my morbid curiosity got the best of me. It stings because she likes to play as little too, and she’s looking for a daddy. I still feel protective of him. I still feel territorial. It doesn’t make any sense. I just don’t want him to fill that void with someone else, I want it’s emptiness to hurt him like it hurts me. I know that’s childish. But it’s true.

I miss having a lover who worships my soft spots.