Episode 54

The creepy phone ads hit a new level for me this spring. We drove from Akron to Cincinnati (3+ hours) for a wedding, and my girlfriend left my phone behind when she said she’d grab my “jacket and stuff”. My phone sat back at home all weekend, but when we got back, I started getting ads for some hunting-related thing that was only mentioned during a dinner we all went to in Cincy (because half her family are proud bumpkins). Can’t even remember what it was called because I’ve never heard the term before or since. Assuming/hoping it has to do with my Gmail being her Gmail’s backup because how the hell else did my phone know what was said a full state away?

TeenyFatz

excellent stinger this week. waiting to see if vito could hit the high note then hearing it with the words and the cat was laugh-out-loud funny. Dick, you robbed us of the stinger for the Nugent sting but at least you played it later. i am totally okay with my monies helping Vito’s non-union Mexican equivalent travel to the studio

notsmohqe

My wife got student loans paid through the military, and is now getting her grad school loans wiped out. Also, we each got a bachelor's degrees off the G.I. Bill. Thanks Dick, get fucked.

tarrball

Every problem in the universe from Women who aren't funny to stealing Dick's money

John

Or in front of women

Benjamin Swearingen

I owed $20,451 in loans, my wife owed $16,000. Now we only owe $451. Thanks for the money Dick, or should I say Dork?

Benjamin Swearingen

Hey Vito I just listened to your call-in to Eric July's stream. You were good and listed your points quite well. His responses were all fence sitting and DRY JULY until you hung up and then said what he really thought. Also he was muting you when your brought up your comic (SuperKiller.ORG) which is funny and kinda proves your points, but to be fair he probably just doesn't like you. If this is how he usually acts then his comic will suck, unlike the upcoming comic SuperKiller.ORG, go to the website and subscribe to the mailing list!

Vito doesn't own a truck, trailer, a house, or really anything of value and thus has never actually used ratchet straps. Even when used correctly, they take forever to set up, get tangled/twisted, and often have to be redone. I own way too many sets of ratchet straps, and they all suck except the ones that are way overpriced. I use a 5 step process to get my bikes ratcheted down and I forget all the steps every time. I once carefully explained how to use them to a friend and when I finished he asked "Wait, wtf, what was the first step again?" But you know what I DO remember? The first time I used ratchet straps in front of my dad (he had no fucking clue either - the boomer bastard). And you know what ELSE I remember? The first time I was schooled in ratchet technique by a smug redneck. But seriously, good luck securing your $20,000 toys with bungee cords.

Anus Master

People voting have probably never been embarrassed in front of their dad using them before. Genuine problem.

Petty

This is the second episode in a row where I cant believe the obvious worst problem is negative (ratchet straps). Vote it up!

Benjamin Swearingen